


Pretty Bird

by Nightwing_Mar



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Bonding, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Everyone Loves Dick Grayson, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt Dick Grayson, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, M/M, Protective Bruce Wayne, Protective Damian Wayne, Protective Jason Todd, Slow Burn, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-01-22 18:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 169,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21306908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightwing_Mar/pseuds/Nightwing_Mar
Summary: Royal blue eyes, dark and light as the ocean. With kindness and gentle waves; as well as storm and raging waters.He was like the moon, strong and passionate.He was like the sun, warm and beautiful.If he had the face of an angel, why not he could have the wings of one?Afterward an incident with a sorceress, Dick must deal with a spell he never wanted.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Everyone, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 467
Kudos: 901





	1. The Curse

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Pretty Bird](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20289334) by [Sevidri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevidri/pseuds/Sevidri). 

> This is my first work, the very first time I have the courage to publish something I write. I wanna thank Sevidri for inspiring this work. I used the beginning of her story to create my own version. 
> 
> Sorry if the characters feel a little OOC, it’s the first time I write them :)  
English is not my first language, so please be free to tell me if I have a mistake. I hope you enjoy this story, it is just for fun.
> 
> NOTE: Some chapters are being edited, I'm correcting grammar mistakes. (20/6/28)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason's POv.
> 
> Chapter Edited ;)

Everything was a disaster.

_A fucking disaster._

The self-declared sorceress smiled, her lips pulling back to reveal teeth that were just a bit too sharp to be human. “My, you sure are eager,” she said, dodging Dick’s escrima sticks by phasing in and out of existence and letting his whole body pass through hers. _Great_, Jason thought as he reloaded his gun, _special powers_, that sure was a great sign.

Dick, of course, did not let the sudden disappearance of his target disturb him, carefully turning his body and jumping, ready for another attack. “They call you Nightwing, do they not?” The sorceress continued, floating in the air without the biggest problem, as if she was not at all worried that she could be defeated, while Jason could feel the small drops of sweat go down his forehead, he can also hear Dick's quick breath.

“I think she is a magician or something—” Dick said through the comm as a matter of fact and Jason just rolled his eyes even if he couldn't see him.

“Really, Sherlock?” Jason mocks with sarcasm. Jesus, Goldie was so _stupid_ sometimes.

“Did you know that there are plenty of different kinds of magicians, _right?_ It could be an enchantress or a witch or—”

“She just declared herself as a sorceress! Weren’t you listening?” Jason hisses.

“And you believe her? We can’t trust—”

“Focus, Dickface,” Jason hisses again firing another bullet in the direction of his enemy. Instead of disappearing again, she summoned a wall of red light that allowed the bullets to strike and harmlessly fall to the floor of the warehouse. “How do you get rid of a— _whatever_ the fuck she is?” he could practically hear Dick's smile at the pause and Jason felt his cheeks heat up in response. Luckily Dick decided to say nothing.

“You can't. Or rather, we can't. Only an equally powerful being can do that—” Dick replied, and then as if to contradict his own words, he pounced on her again. The woman's smile was gone, her eyes narrowed, and this time she didn't dodge or block Dick's attempts. Instead, she extended a hand, with claws, and chains began to sprout from nowhere, wrapping Dick's limbs and immobilizing him in the middle of the jump.

“I do not like to be ignored,” she snapped, and with a quick gesture moved the chained-up Nightwing to her eye level. Jason should do something, needed to do something while she was distracted, but with her powers, he was more likely to hit Dick than her. Still, the way she ran her eyes over Dick’s struggling form made something dark and unpleasant curl up in his chest.

“You are Nightwing,” she said, more definite this time. “A Kryptonian name. Yet you are not Kryptonian. Simply a regular, boring human.” If the situation hadn’t been so dire, Jason would have laughed at that. He was pretty sure no one had ever called Dick boring to his face before.

“Still, you are rather pretty,” she mused, and Jason's fingers tightened involuntarily around his weapons. “A pretty bird, _yes_, that seems fitting.” She snapped her fingers and the chains surrounding Dick disappeared, dropping him on the hard concrete from several feet in the air. Jason wasn't worried; he took the opportunity to start shooting again. It felt good, even if it didn't cause any damage, and so it could give Dick some time to get up and get his bearings.

But just when he was about to shoot again, a scream stopped him in his tracks and made all the blood in his body freeze. It wasn’t like he’d never heard the sounds of someone in pain before, that noise had been familiar even before he’d ever put on a cape. But never— Dick cried out again and Jason was at his side in an instant, eyes frantically searching his body, trying to find an entry wound, a broken bone, anything that would explain why—

Dick curled himself up even tighter, letting out a whimper like he didn’t even have enough energy left to scream, and that was somehow even worse. “N! Nightwing, what’s wrong? What’s— Where does it hurt? Tell me what I can do,” Jason pleaded, his hands hovering uselessly over Dick’s shoulders, unsure if touching him would only cause more pain. He sensed that there was something wrong going on, but he couldn't stop to think, he had to do something, he had to kill that damn sorceress... Jason feels his shoulders tense at the sudden laugh he hears just above his head, looks away from Dick's form for a moment and he can see the sorceress, she hadn't moved a centimeter, the damn smile had returned to her face, and then another evil laugh escapes her mouth, rumbling in Jason's ears, causing the well-known rage to begin to invade his brain.

“Someday you will thank me for the gift I just gave him,” she snapped, still showing the sharp teeth. But just before Jason could answer — or do something — he hears the familiar buzzing of the Batmobile resound behind his back, the sorceress's face changes, and the dark smile is replaced with a grimace. He doesn't even have time to turn around, because he can hear a furious scream and watch Demon Brat sideways at full speed by his side and toward the sorceress.

“What did you do to Nightwing?” Robin shouts, not even caring that he has no advantage if the sorceress wanted to attack him, beside him, Jason feels Batman's presence and lets out a sigh, he would never admit loudly that he is grateful that they chose just this moment to appear.

Jason turns his attention back to Dick, knowing that B and Demon Brat are quite capable of controlling the sorceress. He realizes that Dick has not moved an inch, still laying on his side, clenching his teeth, his eyes appear to be closed, his face showing the pain he still feels. “Nightwing? Talk to me, where it hurts?” Jason is grateful that he is wearing his helmet because he knows that right now his face is one of complete concern. He delicately touches Dick's cheek, to see if he is still conscious, however, Dick seizes the opportunity and holds Jason's hand, squeezing it tightly, Jason squeezes it back. “Don't worry, B and Robin are here, everything will be fine, can you hear me? Hold on.”

When he turns his eyes to where the sorceress had been, he can see that she is gone, he clenches his teeth, the rage wanting to return, he is about to ask B where the fuck he went, but he hears Dick let out another groan.

“J-jay,” Dick whispers, quickly catching Jason's attention, his fury quickly disappears, and he becomes worried again, feels Dick's hand tighten even more, and swallows quickly. "It hurts...” Dick says almost in a whisper.

“Where does it hurt?” Jason asks frantically, has no fucking idea what to do, should he move him? Wait? What the fuck? Dick slowly releases the air from his lungs, as if he were holding his breath, he knows he is trying to calm himself.

“My... back,” Dick says clenching his teeth, trying not to scream again, he keeps as still as he can, just squeezing Jason's hand as if his life depended on that. Jason is thinking a thousand times in a second, his back? Was it the fall? It was a fall of several meters, but he knows that Dick has fallen from worse heights and left almost unharmed, or is it even worse? Jason curses, he knows he can't know for sure, much less here, on the cold floor of the warehouse. He knows he has to get Dick out of here, but just touching him terrifies him, he doesn't want to cause him any more pain. Just when he is about to say something, he feels the presence of someone, in seconds he raises his weapon, ready to blow the brains out of any threat, but he stands still when he sees Robin, they both look into each other's eyes and Jason lowers his weapon.

“Grayson? What's going on? Can you get up?” Robin says approaching Dick, looking for a visible wound.

“Where is the fucking sorceress?” Jason says between his teeth, trembling with rage at the idea that she has escaped, and his suspicions are correct when Damian clenches his fists tightly. But before he can respond, from the communicator he can hear the voice of B in his ear.

“Red Hood, what is the condition of Nightwing?” His voice sounds cold as always, but he can hear the little concern he tries to hide. Jason turns to see Dick, he seems calmer than a few minutes ago, but he hasn't even tried to get up yet and he keeps squeezing Jason's hand tightly. _Jason knows something is off._

“I don't know, he's still on the ground, something is wrong,” Batman says something between his teeth and his voice sounds again.

“Take him to the Batmobile.” The line is off and Jason immediately takes action, he is afraid of hurting Dick, but he knows it is urgent to get him out of here. "Okay, I'm going to get you up, Dickie, okay?” Dick says nothing, Jason slowly and carefully puts his hand under the legs of Dick, who releases his hand, with his other hand lifts Dick's body, the blue-eyed hands travel to his armor, trying to hold on to Jason. But when he manages to lift him completely, Dick lets out a groan, clenching his teeth. “Hey, relax Dickie, I have you.” Jason rushes to get to the Batmobile, which Robin had already taken out of the stretcher. As soon as he places Nightwing on the stretcher, he lets out a groan of pain and immediately tries to move.

“Grayson, no! What are you doing?” Robin says in a rushed voice.

“Sorry— it hurts...” Dick says through his teeth, with Jason's help, he turns on his side and finally stands still, as if it were the only thing he had left of energy. By the time they both— _Jason and Damian_ — put the stretcher on the Batmobile, Dick seems to have passed out, at that moment Jason can hear the familiar sound of Batman, who without saying anything, and just taking a quick look at Nightwing passed out, start the engine to get out at full speed between the broken streets of Gotham. Jason should feel calm, but he doesn't, he feels worse, the lump in his throat is still present. He can't get Dick's fall and scream out of his mind.

The arrival at the cave seems to be in the blink of an eye, everything happens in seconds, which Jason can't think clearly.

At one point he is sitting on Dick's big bed, watching as the older one breathes slowly, with each passing minute he can see his face becoming paler.

Without the mask, he can more clearly distinguish his expressions and his beautiful face. Dick hasn't woken up since they brought him here, to his room in the manor. And Jason hadn't moved at all from his side, just to change to something more comfortable and take off his helmet, his exposed face now visible to everyone. Jason runs a hand through his hair, releasing a sigh that he didn't know he was keeping. He can see that there are small drops of sweat coming down Dick's forehead, and he feels the fear creping down his bones.

He hears steps at the door and sees Bruce approaching, dressed in casual clothes, the old man takes the chair that was in the corner of the room and sits on the other side of Dick, watching him closely. None say anything for what seems like minutes until Bruce breaks the silence.

“The sorceress disappeared, I didn't have time to even question her, she just faded,” Bruce says slowly, and Jason feels his fists clench. “What happened?” Jason clears his throat, having said almost nothing since they installed Dick here.

“After you told us to go investigate that warehouse, we arrived and immediately we saw the sorceress, we tried to fight her, the bitch was good. At one point, she showed some interest in Nightwing, when he tried to attack her, she raised him to her level and said he was a pretty bird or some shit like that and then she just merely dropped him. I didn't think of anything bad until… I heard him scream, she said that later I would thank her for the gift she gave him, but Dick said nothing later, only that he had a lot of pain in his back.” Jason informs, knowing that Bruce wants to know all the details.

They both remain silent for a few moments, each in their heads until the door opens revealing Damian and Tim, both with the same face of concern etched on their faces. Tim runs a hand through his hair and keeps his eyes on his older brother.

“A moment ago I talked with Zatanna, she says she wasn't aware of any sorceress nearby, but that she was going to investigate, she could come around here too.”

“Any changes?” Damian asks subtly, with both arms crossed in his chest

“He hasn't woken up yet.” Everyone is silent again, watching Dick, his motionless form; _something so off_, Dick is never so still. The worse thing is none knows what is wrong with Dick.

Time is a relative thing —they said. Jason couldn't agree more, because it seemed that the clock was moving to fast but at the same time the rise and down of Dick's chest seemed in slow motion.

Jason couldn't remember the last time he felt so uncertain. 


	2. Bloody Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Batfamily finally discovers what the sorceress did to Dick, and how now his life has changed forever.  
What are the consequences of the spell? Now more than ever the family must be together for Dick. 
> 
> Warning; this chapter has blood, screams, hurt/comfort.
> 
> Chapter Edited ;)

After what seems like hours, —_maybe it was hours_— Jason brings his hand to Dick's forehead, he immediately feels the fever; _Dick’s forehead is on fire_. Besides he is now extremely paler, he seems to have fallen ill, drops of sweat keep going down his forehead. But Dick can't tell them what's wrong. Jason can hear Damian and Tim arguing in the hallway, Bruce and Alfred were analyzing Dick’s blood in case there was any abnormality, he can hear behind the walls of the manor the rain falling mercilessly, lightning echoing loudly in the sky. Jason frowns and puts a cold cloth on Goldie’s forehead trying to fight the fever, he can feel in his bones the terror of not knowing what is happening, having no answer why Dick seems to be getting worse with every second that goes and that if it was a spell, there is nothing he can do. So he just keeps holding Dick's hand tightly, _waiting_.

After a few minutes, he begins to observe that the fever is getting worse, Dick’s cheeks are turning reddish, there are small tremors in his body, but he still shows no signs of waking up. Jason gets up and immediately finds Tim and Damian, who are still fighting, with a look of Jason’s face they both shut up.

“Look brats, Dick is burning in fever so I need you both to shut up your fucking mouths and help me get ice, fast,” Jason doesn't look at them again and goes out in search of ice, he can hear his footsteps behind him. Between the three they get a good amount of ice, they rush back with Goldie. They find Bruce in the room, talking on the phone but with one hand on Dick's forehead, nobody says anything as they begin to accommodate the ice in specific areas to try to fight the fever, only Bruce's voice is heard in the room, and if Jason pays enough attention, he can also hear Dick's hasty breath.

“He hasn't woken up, we've put ice on him but the fever doesn't go down,” Bruce says on the phone, he sounds pretty exasperated. “I can't know if he was bewitched because he _clearly_ can't tell us what happened. The blood samples show nothing wrong so far,” Bruce says in irritation, everyone in the room is silent, his attention on the occupant of the bed. Bruce shouts at the phone a few more things, surely to John Constantine, but Jason cannot care less, his only attention is on Dick, the knot in his stomach has not diminished, he feels that something terrible is about to happen, and he doesn’t have the strength to bear it, seeing Dick in such a way is making him sick.

Delicately, he puts a wet hair behind Dick's ear, feeling his skin burn on the contact, Jason frowns, about to say something when everything _goes to hell._

Dick begins to squeeze his eyes, a sign that he is waking up, everyone stays still, Bruce finishing the call and immediately heading to his son’s side, Dick begins to move his head but there is something _wrong_, his breathing begins to accelerate, and something it is not good at all.

“Dick, are you awake? What's up, chum?” Bruce's soft voice baffles everyone in the room, but more when Dick begins to complain, his face transformed into one of pain.

“Dickie?” Jason whispers taking his hand again and Dick squeezes his hand back so hard that Jason gulps. Bruce is about to say something else when Dick opens his eyes, his pupils fully dilated, full of fear and pain, Jason freezes in his place, then Dick lets out a groan, followed by a little cry of pain and begins to sit down, his body trembles, his face is full of tears, he is sobbing, Jason feeling terrified looks at Bruce not knowing what to do, but Bruce has the same terrified look as they watch Dick scream and trying to get out of bed.

“Dick, what's going on? What hurts? Talk to me.” Bruce demands inspecting Dick’s body, looking for the cause of his pain. But Dick seems not to listen, he clenches his eyes and wines again, with his trembling hands tries to take off his shirt frantically, but he can't coordinate his hands. Jason looks at him without understanding and then Dick jumps out of bed, running to the bathroom. Jason follows immediately trembling with fear at the sight of Dick’s back, at the blood-stained shirt but vertically in a very strange way.

In the distance, he hears Bruce yelling at Damian and Tim, but Jason can't hear anymore, he can only hear the wines of pain from Dick. When he reaches the big bathroom of Dick’s room, Goldie tries to take off his shirt in despair, Jason tries to help him as he can, trying to think of something to say, but the words die in his mouth because Dick hasn't calmed down, he keeps on shaking and crying.

Dick's knees tremble and he falls to the floor so Jason takes off his shirt, he sees two horrifying cuts on Dick's back, two giant cuts that hadn't been there a few moments ago, there's blood everywhere, going down Dick's back towards the polished white floor. Dick tries to touch his back but the pain seems to be so much that he can’t help but bend, Jason holds Dick by the shoulders trying to keep him still and keep him from hurting himself, he hears Bruce speak softly to Dick, but he seems out of his mind, his breathing is too fast to be normal. He’s still sobbing loudly, Jason doesn’t understand what is happening, and Bruce is trying to observe the cuts on Dick's back.

_But then it happens._

Jason notices a strange movement in Dick's back, he blinks perplexed, thinks that his imagination is playing a trick, but then he sees the same movement again but in the other cut, both Bruce and he remain still when they watch something move inside the cuts.

“N-nooo, help— help me.” Dick wines painfully loudly looking at Bruce in pure terror.

Jason feels that he is losing his mind when more blood comes out of the wounds, and something starts to come out of Dick's back, he can't distinguish it from all the blood, but he can observe a type of bone, it starts to sprout from both wounds, growing up. Dick can't stand the pain because he begins to scream from pure agony, the sound resonating in the room. He lets out several screams from deep in his throat, and all Jason can do is hold his hands and squeeze them, he can't take his eyes off the grotesque of the image, the strange things start to take shape, and Jason feels his heart stop.

Among the blood, the white color begins to be recognizable, and Jason can now notice what the internal structure of a wing looks like. The more he stares the more he begins to distinguish the bones, and then they begin to appear; _feathers._

As if it were magic —_and it is, damn it_— large feathers begin to appear, shaping the two wings that are now completely out of Dick's back, who drops forward letting go one last groan. Jason holds him in his chest, now he can observe everything more closely.

Although Dick's back is still full of blood, the two wounds that no more than 10 minutes ago were open, are now replaced by large wings that literally come out of Dick's back, some feathers are full of blood, which contrast against the white of the feathers, and while Jason continues staring it is as if they appear more and more. He feels something wet on his face, and when he tries to clean himself, he realizes that he is crying, he’s surprised to be caught off guard like that. But when he wants to take away his tears he realizes that his hands are full of blood, the simple image causes him nausea, he cleans himself in his pants, not daring to move Dick who is still on his chest tightly tightening Jason's hip like if his life depended on it.

He dares to observe Bruce who is still right next to him. His eyes are teary as well, and he hasn’t looked away from Dick's wings. He seems to come back to reality because he shares a look with Jason, and then he looks back at Goldie.

“Chum, can you hear me?”

Dick slowly begins to untangle his arms from Jason's body, he still shaking and every time he moves his back the wings seem to react because they move too and that causes Dick to clench his teeth, undoubtedly not wanting to let out more screams. Once he moves away from Jason, they can observe his face of shock.

His eyes are red and tears keep falling causing his blue eyes to take on a different tone. His cheeks are red but in contrast, his face is very pale, too much to look healthy. Jason can see that there is blood in his mouth probably for trying to stop the screaming. Dick doesn’t seem to understand what was happening because when he moves his hands behind his back to feel what's there, he lets out a noise of surprise and distress. With his left hand, he reaches to touch a wing and releases a groan as the wing remains most likely sensitive, the same with his back. He gets up as he can, Bruce and Jason trying to stop him but Dick stands with shaking legs in front of the large mirror in the bathroom holding on tightly to the sink leaving blood on the glowing white. He stares in awe how big wings are now right there coming out of his back as if he were a bird. He moves his back from side to side, clenching his teeth when the wings move involuntarily. Bruce and Jason stay there, not knowing what to say, watching the wings now in plain sight.

“She said that—” Dick interrupts himself because his voice is hoarse; _from screaming_. He tries to clear his throat. “She said I was a Pretty Bird— s-she meant this.”

“Dick...” Bruce begins to say, but there is a sound of shock and something falling to the ground. At the entrance to the bathroom, Tim has dropped his phone, looking paler and stunned at his brother's long wings. Damian looks petrified, almost with his mouth open. They both say nothing for a moment, nobody says anything, _damn. _Everyone observes the majestic wings, with long and elegant white feathers. Dick slowly stops turning his back on them. His face hasn’t changed, and although he is no longer crying, his face is a mess. His back full of blood, like his hands. His face is completely exhausted and lifeless.

“Father? Is this real?” Damian asks, unsure as to if he were dreaming. Bruce seems to get out of his trance because he holds his phone and starts dialing the number of all the sorcerers he knows. Before leaving the bathroom, he gives clear orders that Dick must return as soon as possible to the bed, he approaches Dick and places a comforting hand on the shoulder of Goldie, looking his eldest in the eyes.

“Don't worry Chum, you're going to be fine, I'm going to solve this,” then he gives him a little kiss on the forehead and leaves the room in a hurry. Dick swallows hard trying not to break into tears again. Jason approaches, and after thoroughly washing his hands, helps Dick passing a hand around his waist to support his weight because Dick's legs are shaking. He gets him to sit on the edge of the tub.

“Demon, Replacement, get ready the bed, and bring pain pills.” They disappear without saying anything else, just watching their older brother once more. Alfred appears after a few minutes, his usually stoic facade crumbling for a moment and letting see how surprised he really is, but he composes immediately giving Dick a comforting smile and saying that everything will be okay. He starts to clean all the blood on the floor, so Jason concentrates on wetting some towels with warm water and slowly and carefully start cleaning the now dried blood from Dick's back, who only occasionally emits a small groan or wine because the skin around the wings is pretty much sensitive and red. Jason is extra careful there.

“Now I'm going to clean some feathers, okay Dickie?” He says in his softest voice, Dick nods without looking up from the floor. “Tell me if it hurts.”

Jason slowly wets a rag again and begins to gently wet some stained feathers, Dick only makes a small noise but says nothing, Jason rushes to clean some feathers and when he ends up he is hypnotized observing the beautiful feathers, patting Dick on the back and helping him to get up. He takes almost all his weight while taking him back to his bed. Alfred stays cleaning everything, no doubt wanting to have something to do.

The boys had left Dick's room quite impeccable so carefully Jason directs Dick to the edge of the bed, Tim and Damian appear with a little table with water and pills, they watch Dick's wings, quite perplexed as he, but they look at Jason's face and immediately approach to help him, Dick sits down and tries to lean on the headboard but he lets out a groan when he puts the wings in contact with the headboard. He closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them again, Damian is holding the water and pills at him, Dick tries to give him a smile, taking the pills and a sip of water, he pats Damian on the head trying to tell the boy that he’s fine, but he doesn't say anything else.

Jason helps him to move and Dick clearly decides to turn upside down, and almost involuntarily, the wings themselves, —as if they were alive, are dropped gently on Dick's back, leaning on the mattress. Jason stays like a fool again, watching the white of the wings contrast with the brown blankets. He approaches Dick's side after a few moments and gently begins to stroke Dick's hair, who in seconds loses consciousness and stays completely still. Damian approaches and carefully runs a blanket over Dick's back, which now seems to have nothing out of the ordinary, but everyone can see the wings stand out a little on Dick's back.

Jason stays like that for hours, stroking Dick's hair, trying to calm his mind, but the screams and images of the wings don't come out of his mind, he can't close his eyes because everything comes back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, yaaas. I have a lot of ideas about this history, a lot of family bonding, tears, laughs, hugs! I hope this turns out being a long story :) 
> 
> Please tell me what you think about it, I would love to hear you guys ...


	3. Prediction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zatanna comes to visit Dick and give him some serious answers.  
How is Dick going to take it?
> 
> Chapter Edited ;)

Jason listens carefully to everything that happens outside the room, he hasn't been able to sleep anything at all because his full attention is on the occupant laying on the bed.

He can notice the sun peeking out of the big windows, Jason doesn't know how much time has passed, but it looks like is midday. He sees movement in the bed and discreetly stares at Damian who like him, spent the night awake watching _his_ Batman. Tim is asleep in the chair in front of the bed in a rather awkward position. Bruce spent the night monitoring every hour, watching Dick carefully and then disappearing again. Now he can hear more voices, so he gets up silently, stretching his back and sore neck —from the tension and sitting all night— and walks towards the door.

Outside it is obvious that it is already day, Jason closes his eyes for a moment, accustoming his eyes to the sudden daylight, then going down the stairs and observing Bruce and Alfred from the hallway welcoming Zatanna, sorceress quite close to Dick. As far as Jason knows, they even date for a while; he knows that she is trustworthy and ins clear that she cares for Dick a lot because she wasted no time in coming to see Goldie.

Alfred offers her a glass of water and she accepts with a smile, Jason climbs back up the stairs and to Dick's room, he silently goes to the large windows and opens the curtains, letting the room light up.

“What you think you doing, Todd?” Damian hisses.

“Zatanna has come, brat. She’s here to see Dick.” Jason says returning to the side of the bird to see if he is awake, but Dick seems to remain dead to the world, Jason slowly touches his forehead to see that it is quite warm.

“He still has a fever?” Tim whispers, rubbing his eyes while releasing a yawn.

“A bit, he needs to eat, medicine, and probably an exorcism.” He hears Tim chuckle and just when Damian is about to say something, the door opens revealing Bruce. The old man has dark circles under his eyes and looks tired, he lingers his eyes on his children slowly and then he approaches Dick, gently he puts his hand on Dick’s forehead in the same way as Jason did moments ago.

“Why he still has a fever?” Damian asks, crossing both arms over his chest.

“I don't know Damian, that's why I called Zatanna, she can give us some answer and maybe a solution.” Bruce declares getting closer to the door. Jason observes as Zatanna approaches the door, watching the entire room cautiously, Bruce tells her to come, and at the same time tells Damian and Tim to leave, after a duel of glances between Demon Brat and Bruce, the demon leaves without first looking earnestly at Zatanna.

“You better have a solution, magician.” Jason rolls his eyes in exasperation at the same time that Bruce lets out a sigh, Tim smiles at Zatanna instead.

“I'm sorry for the brat’s manners, it's the way Damian shows he's scared,” Zatanna smiles back. After only they are left in the room, Jason nods at Zatanna and she gives a small nod in return. Bruce closes the door and then approaches Dick’s side of the bed, Jason stays leaning on the door, watching everything carefully. Zatanna approaches the bed.

“How long has he been sleeping?” Her sweet voice floods the room.

“8 hours straight,” Bruce says slowly.

“Can I—?” Zatanna says pointing to the sheet covering Dick, Bruce nods and Jason clenches both hands tightly. Slowly and carefully, Zatanna removes the sheet, revealing the incredible wings on Dick's back, she stares at each feather with a look of surprise, and then she passes her hand slowly giving a gentle caress. Dick moves and everyone focuses their attention to the blue-eyed, Dick begins to wake up, and then his wings seem to wake up also because of a rapid movement, they extend completely, looking majestic. Zatanna moves aside to avoid being hit in the face at the same time that Dick releases a groan of pain.

“Bruce—?”

“You are ok, I’m here chum, how do you feel?” Dick lets out a sigh and slowly begins to wake up more.

“I feel tired”.

“Zatanna is here, she came to see you and give us an opinion about... _the incident._”

“Zee?” Dick slowly opens his eyes, revealing those beautiful blue irises, he blinks several times and then lets out a tired smile when he spots her.

“Hey, you.”

“Hi Dick, how are you feeling? Be honest.”

“Good,” he sounds a bit blurred but anyways he tries to sit up, maybe to not show any more weakness. But the moment he does, he lets out a growl as he moves his wings. With the help of Bruce and Zatanna, Dick sits on the edge of the bed. He rubs his eyes and then he looks at her. She analyzes his face carefully and smiles at him again.

“You have to tell me everything that happened, okay? Every detail and word are important, but before all that; I need to examine your... your wings, can I?” she says slowly, Dick nods.

“We should go to the cave, there is better lighting, and by the way, I can show you his blood samples,” Bruce reports crossing his arms.

“Okay, sounds good, Dick?” He nods again, he moves away from his face one wavy hair and calmly gets out of bed, Jason immediately gets closer in case the little bird may fall, everyone observes Dick carefully too. He takes a few steps away from the bed before his legs give up, Jason catches him right away, putting his hand on Dick’s hip, feeling the warmth of Dick’s skin against his palm. Dick grunts when his wings get trapped against Jason's chest. Bruce approaches and gently takes a wing from Dick and pushes it away from Jason, then subtly removes Goldie from his hands. Jason says nothing as he observes Bruce help Dick out of the room, step by step. Once they reach the cave, Dick collapses into one of the observation cots quite agitated, everyone observes him with some concern.

“Is it normal that he is so tired?” Bruce comments looking seriously at Zatanna in the eye.

“The magic is very dangerous, it takes a lot of a person to conjure a spell. Believe me when I tell you that this is not any spell, it should take years and many power to be perfected this way. As far as I can see, the wings formed from inside Dick, and that took a lot of his energy, his own life even. That's why I need to know everything that happened.” Jason notices as Dick begins to shake slightly, he can see how he hugs himself. The cave is not exactly the warmest place in the manor, and Dickie-Bird, —_ha, now is so appropriate_— just wears a pair of sweatpants. He notices that there are some blankets arranged in one of the stores and without hesitation, he grabs one, he draws near to Dick and carefully passes the blanket over his shoulders and wings, Dick looks at him with surprise and holds the blanket around him tightly, giving Jason a warm smile.

“Thanks, Jay.” Jason nods and returns his position facing the cot, he pretends to be busy glaring at the ceiling. Zatanna stands in front of Dick and observes him intensely.

“Tell me absolutely everything,” Dick tells her the whole story, every detail Jason already knew; but not from Dick’s point of view. Zatanna listens carefully, nodding occasionally, asking from time to time. Dick arrives at the part when he woke up.

“I felt— a pain I had never felt before,” Dick says swallowing, both Bruce and Jason tense, remembering vividly the horror of last night. “I felt like I was being split in half. My back was on fire, but that wasn't _the worst_, it felt like if someone was pulling apart the bones of my back, it was awful. And then… seeing the wings, and I— couldn't believe it, I still can’t believe it. Yesterday any movement hurt, little by little it starts to feel less.”

“How do the wings feel?” Zatanna asks curiously.

“As if they were part of me, but I still can't move them, it still hurts. They feel like numb, I need a lot of concentration to make them move even a little.” To emphasize, Dick closes his eyes for a moment and the wings move slightly and uncoordinated, but they do. The blue-eyed lets out a groan and opens his eyes again.

“Dick, they are part of you, from what you tell me and I can observe, they came out of your back, formed of your blood and bones. The spell is powerful, many times a spell of such magnitude can end badly. I am surprised that you are enduring it so well, but I also know that you are a strong person, _one of the strongest I know_,” she says with a tiny smile and slowly she brings her hand to Dick’s forehead. “Let me check you with magic, I will try to determine if it is a temporary spell, let me know if you feel any discomfort.”

Suddenly the air changes in the room, from the hand of Zatanna a type of purple energy comes out, it seems to float and reaches the forehead of Dick, who closes his eyes and holds on the scot. Zatanna begins to speak backward, and the energy moves to Dick’s entire body, completely enveloping him.

Both Jason and Bruce stay observing closely, only the whispers of Zatanna can be heard, words that cannot be understood at all.

A few minutes pass, and nothing changes. Jason sits on the cot in front of Dick and Zatanna, and Bruce stands there idly without looking away for a single second. After 15 minutes, (Jason wasn’t counting), in a rapid movement, Zatanna pulls his hand away. Dick opens his eyes quite disoriented and he stumbles on the edge of the cot, but in time Bruce gets behind him avoiding a disastrous fall.

“Dick, I'm sorry! I should have warned you that I was going to break the connection,” Zatanna says, showing a shy smile. Bruce slowly helps Dick to sit back on the cot, patting him on the back before crossing his arms again and stepping aside. 

“Don't worry Zee, I should have been faster,” Dick says scratching his head, remarkably distressed.

“It's normal for you to be tired and a little weak, it will be that way for a few weeks. And if I'm right at least a few months, I'm sorry to say.”

“What did you see?” Dick asks softly, biting his lower lip anxiously.

“From what I was able to perceive, the sorceress was quite powerful, the enchantment is a very powerful one, and—” Zatanna clears her throat, looking Dick in the eye; this does not seem good. “And from what I can see, _for now_, the enchantment doesn’t seem to be temporal.” 

“Can't you undo it?” Bruce asks, his voice and shoulders tense.

“No, the spell is not known for me. It a different kind of spell, if I may say. It's dark and dangerous magic, something I am not familiar with. The sorceress knew what she was doing, I don't think it was a coincidence. Nightwing was a target, it was not an unexpected attack and probably it was planned with time because she must have at least known some things about Dick, she could even have possession of a sample of blood or hair because the spell was performed perfectly.”

“So... I'll stay with the wings— forever?” Dick asks, his beautiful eyes a little watery. Jason expects it to be for something else and not for the obvious.

“I fear that for a while _yes_, I need to investigate in detail, with my father and more sorcerers that I know. We need to wait for a while and see what happens. But I am sure that the only way to undo that spell would be to find the sorceress who did it, perhaps she is the only option to break the enchantment, that or that the spell fades on his own.” Everyone is silent for a moment; Dick looking down, Bruce is frowning, and Jason stays completely still, not knowing what to say to break this awkward silence. But Bruce clears his throat, taking the initiative.

“Then we should focus on finding her, I need a bit more advice from others sorceress I know. Everyone could help to find her as quickly as possible.” Bruce immediately begins to ask more questions, but Jason only focuses on Dick, who remains with his eyes on the ground, his mind very far from here. Jason gets closer and puts a hand on Dick's shoulder, who jumps a bit with the contact. He looks up and Jason tries to give him a comforting smile.

“Don't worry Goldie, we'll find the bitch and force her to return you back to normal.” Dick lets out a small laugh and lets out a sigh, but the tension in his shoulders decreases a little. Jason is proud to have made him laugh a little. Zatanna turns her attention back to Dick.

“You need to be resting, can you hear me? You have to regain your strength, it is normal for a few weeks to continue to be like this, as if you were sick, without energy. I need you to slowly take the rhythm of your life, in the time we find the sorceress and some answers. The wings are part of you, like other hands, if you can start seeing them that way.” Zatanna squeezes Dick's shoulder and he nods.

“Which means, I can’t go out, not even to patrol?” Dick sounds surrendered.

“No,” Bruce says right away, he probably already has an itinerary planned on his head, about what Dick should and shouldn't do.

“I don't recommend it,” Zatanna says instead, more gently. “Not yet. These wings are brand new limbs, you still can’t control them. It might be dangerous for you. You need to… tame them, if I may say so.” Bruce asks a few more things, and with that Zatanna says goodbye, saying she will return in a few days to monitor Dick. She disappears in a moment, leaving everyone silent. Bruce clears his throat after a few minutes.

“You should stay here in the manor meanwhile... we solve this,” Bruce says awkwardly, Dick nods defeated.

“I'll stay too,” Jason says out of nowhere, both Dick and Bruce stare at him with an incredulous expression. Jason scratches the back of his head rather uncomfortably. “Just for a few days top, someone needs to keep an eye in Dickie-Bird.” The nickname comes out of his mouth before he can think twice; he observes as Dick remains comically still, Bruce instead clenches his jaw, obviously irritated at those words. Jason runs a hand over his face, totally uncomfortable again.

“It's not what— I didn't mean that,” Jason says looking at Dick, the blue-eyes give him a sincere smile, not at all offended.

“Don't apologize, Jay. I really am that now.” Dick says looking discreetly at his wings.

_Well, shit. _

Is all Jason can think of.


	4. Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family is there for Dick.

Once Jason had helped, (almost carried) Dick to his room, the blue-eyed sits on the bed, his eyes heavy, and then he lets out a yawn. Jason observes as Tim and Damian settle next to Dick, nobody saying absolutely nothing. Everyone understands the silence, the words that are in the air; _we're with you_. Alfred arrives at the room, carrying what looks like a banquet, he gives each one a deserved meal, and especially to Dick, who seems not to be very hungry.

“Alfie, I don't have...”

“Master Dick, you need to feed yourself to regain your full strength. You can't skip any more meals, _without exception_.”

Dick lets out a sigh but says nothing more. Alfred stares at him, slowly Dick takes a sip of his soup, once satisfied, Alfred looks at Jason and gives him a nod, asking him to verify that the little bird finishes his meal. Tim proposes to put a movie, after a moment of deciding which one, everyone chooses to put one of Disney, Dick's favorites. Goldie smiles when he sees that his brothers are doing everything possible to keep him happy, given the circumstances. Damian just says yes, on the condition that Dick finishes all the food Alfred brought, and makes it clear that he won't cuddle with Dick. However, as soon as the movie takes about 20 minutes, Tim and Damian are curled up next to Dick, who is kinda sitting, trying not to put much weight in his back, he has enough pillows to support his wings and be as comfortable as possible. Jason is sitting in the same chair, with his feet in the bed. He doesn't pay attention to the movie, his attention is on the little bird. Who once in a while makes a face as he moves his wings, and Damián curls closer to his side, and that makes him smile. Dick had eaten almost everything Alfred had given him, to everyone's satisfaction. Jason feels much more relaxed, hours spent a constant weight on his shoulders, gradually feeling less. Jason's eyes begin to close, he has not been sleeping at all, little by little tiredness, and fear make him completely exhausted. The last thing he observes is the beautiful face of Dick, who has a smile on his face, while he murmurs the song in the background. With that Jason gets lost in the sleep.

He wakes up by a noise of surprise and the bed shaking, Jason opens his eyes right away, the sleep disappearing completely, he watches as Dick gets up from the bed, his legs tremble, but he runs towards the bathroom. Jason follows him quickly, watches as the older one collapses in front of the toilet, and begins to empty his stomach. He can hear Dick's labored breathing, and the arcades, not knowing what to do, he puts his hand on Dick's back giving tender touches, the wings are making small movements every time Dick makes a noise. When he finishes, he cleans his mouth with his hand, shaking slightly. Tim approaches with a glass of water and offers it to Dick, who takes it with trembling hands. Goldie takes a sip and washes out his mouth, then he takes small sips again. Someone's accelerated footsteps are heard, and Bruce appears. He stays a few seconds staring at the scene in front of him and then slowly he approaches Dick with a frown. 

“What happened?” Bruce asks sternly.

“Grayson had fallen asleep after putting on the second movie, and suddenly he got up running to empty his stomach,” Damian reports with a frown. 

“Hmm,” Bruce says looking at Dick for a moment, then helping him get up. Once installed in the bed again, and without saying anything, Dick gets comfortable and falls asleep again, Tim sits in bed with his computer and continues with whatever was doing, but his shoulders are tense, and every so often he turns to see his brother. Damian sits on the other side of the bed, his full attention on the blue-eyed.

“Should he eat something?” Jason asks no one in particular, feels he will be ignored, but Bruce shakes his head.

“No, let's give him a few more hours of rest.”

_____________

_It looked like the damn nightmare wasn't over yet._

Although things were quieter at the moment, Jason could still feel his fists shaking at the pressure he was putting on them. Dick was sleeping, much better than just days ago. He has an IV connected to his arm, to be able to give him the necessary fluids and some nutrients since literally everything he had eaten had ended in the toilet. It was as if his body wasn't accepting food anymore, and that had the whole family in even greater stress. Jason can start to see how Dick's body is suffering from the loss of physical activity and food, if Jason watches carefully he can notice that Dick is beginning to look skinnier. Bruce had contacted Zatanna again and she had assured them that it was possibly normal for him to be like this for a few days, but that they should monitor him for his condition not to worsen. In case of doubt, John Constantine was going to shop around, apparently, the sorcerer had a busy schedule, but for Dick, he would make an exception. So now the whole family preferred to be busy doing something, anything to avoid watching Goldie in that condition. Alfred was doing his usual things, but now he was preparing food as light as possible, as well as smoothies full of vitamins and his special meals for when someone got sick from the stomach. Bruce had gone on patrol along with Red Robin, to keep himself busy and also to keep looking for the fucking sorceress. That just left Demon Brat and him to be next to Goldie at all times, monitoring that Dick wouldn't continue to vomit and that the fever didn't appear again.

Damian was leaning on the headboard, in his lap his notebook where he had been drawing for hours, his brow furrowed as usual, but his shoulders were tense, and occasionally he watched Goldie and then return to his notebook. Jason was sitting in the same damn chair, he hadn't changed position, _he couldn't relax_. Not when Dick wasn't out of danger _yet_, not when those wings were stealing his life.

Dick lets out a sigh in his sleep and tries to move, the wings move smoothly and a small groan is heard, both Damian and he turn their attention to the occupant of the bed. It seems that Goldie was tired of the same position upside down, because he begins to move, still asleep. Jason stands up suddenly, not wanting Dick to hurt his back, but Dick manages to turn on his back, the wings are trapped under his body and it seems not to hurt him this time. He thinks that until he concentrates his gaze on the face of Goldie, who has his forehead wrinkled, Dick moves gently trying to find a comfortable position, after a moment, he lets out another groan but finally stands still. Jason can't help bringing his hand to Dick's face, and with his fingers he caresses his forehead, trying to soften the older man's face. Dick relaxes his face after a touch and lets out another sigh, quite pleased. Jason inadvertently is smiling softly, caught in the moment. Until he hears a noise and Damian is watching him closely, frowning even more. Jason's smile quickly disappears, and he pulls his hand away as if the touch with Dick's skin had burned, clears his throat and sits back in the chair, but Damian continues to watch him closely.

“What do you look at brat?” Jason demands while putting both hands behind his neck, settling better in the chair.

“Why are you here, Todd?” Damian asks in a serious tone. He has both hands in his lap, looking like a small adult trapped in the body of a fucking child.

“What you mean? Do you think I really want to be here in the manor? Because _I don't_.” Jason says defensively and Damian doesn't change his position. 

“Since the incident with Grayson, you hadn't left his side. All the time you are staring at him and touching him, I can see your intentions, but I want _you_ to tell me,” Damian doesn't seem angry, just he doesn't look very pleased either. Jason runs a hand through his hair not knowing what to answer. He knows that he hasn't been discreet with Goldie, that his concern is palpable, but nobody had pointed it out and asked those questions, things he didn't want to ask himself _right now_. He knows that Damian is waiting for his answer and that he might not say anything, but that would only make Damian take his silence as an affirmation. “Then I ask again, what are you doing here, Todd?” Damian says this time louder.

“It is not obvious? I'm here for Goldie,” Jason says dryly. “You didn't see what happened that night, you didn't have to watch him scream and cry, you didn't have to see the whole process and the blood,” Damian swallows and for a moment his attitude changes, showing the child that he is, but that lasts only a moment because his face transforms into one of more anger.

“What are your intentions with Grayson? And don't try to deny it, everyone can see how you look at him. It's not just since this incident, every time you look at him your face changes, you must tell me what you want with him!” Damian demands crossing both arms around his chest in an unmistakable hostile manner. Jason knows that he must choose his next words_ wisely_ because Damian would not settle for a simple answer, nor would he fall for a lie, and that whatever he says will determine whether there will be a fight right now and that the only one who can stop, it is the sleeping beauty. But Jason can't help letting out a laugh, and Damian seems ready to kill him. The child cannot even hide the possessiveness he feels for Dick, feeling that he must protect him from everything and everyone. He knows he can't hide his feelings for Dick either, and that's why this now becomes so much funnier.

“Oh, Brat, do you care so much about Goldie? Are you going to get me out of the way like all the redheads behind Dick?” Damian's face transforms comically, and Jason knows he said exactly what he shouldn't.

“That's a lie, Todd! I don't care who he goes out with. I'm just curious because you look like a dog behind Grayson's bones, and you don't have the courage to even admit it to yourself,” Damian ends with a growl.

“Look, Demon...” Jason is interrupted by the door opening and Alfred entering with a tray, on his face can notice the stress of hearing his screams and the fight that was coming.

“Master Jason, Master Damian, I recommend that you take that argument to other side and preferably in silence, Master Richard does not need that kind of disturbance, on the contrary, you have to show him that you here for him and support him, that means no fights. Now, would you be so kind as to help me wake him up?” Jason nods quickly, feeling bad about making Alfred angry, and despite the time, he still feels small when he receives a sermon from the elder. He gets up quickly and accepts with a small smile the sandwich that Alfie had kindly prepared, knowing that it is one of his favorites. Damian says noting but gets out of bed accepting the food. Alfred puts the tray on the bed, and Jason can see that there are several things for Goldie, light food to try. Slowly, and gently, Jason touches the shoulder of Dick, who moves, after a few moments, Goldie begins to open his eyes, blinks several times and seeing Jason gives him a sleepy smile. Alfred passes a hand over Dick's forehead checking his fever, then he checks the IV line.

“Hey, Alfie,” Dick whispers. The elder gives him a smile.

“Master Dick, how do you feel? I can see that the fever has decreased, so I am taking that as a good sign,”

“I... I feel better, just a little tired,”

“Do you think you can try to eat something? I make it as lightly as I could. You need to start eating something solid, I'm afraid that if you don't then we will have to switch to another IV,” 

“I'll try,” With the help of Alfred and Jason, they manage to accommodate Dick a little, his wings move a little and after several pillows, Dick finally lets out a comfortable sigh. Goldie stares at Damian for a moment and then slowly he runs a hand through the boy's hair, leaving his hand longer than highly recommended. Before Damian can say anything, Dick pulls his hand away.

“Hey, kiddo,”

“How are you, Grayson? You seem better,” Jason puffs a chuckle without being able to avoid it. Damian's tone is so calm and soft, nothing to do with the demon of a few minutes ago. The brat gives him a worthy batglare and turns his eyes back to Goldie.

“I'm much better Little D,”

After a few moments, Dick takes the soup (one of the best when someone is sick) and starts eating it. Damian watches him closely in case there are indications that Goldie wants to go around the bathroom again, but for now, everything seems fine. Jason finishes his sandwich quite calmly, Goldie insists on putting a movie and Jason chooses one (Damian turns his eyes at the choice of Jason) but nobody really pays attention to the movie anyway, all the attention is on Dickie, who after miraculously finishing the soup begins to eat jelly, and the image is really _cute_. On the screen, a comedy scene comes out, and obviously the only one who laughs is Goldie. It's a little laugh, not like his casual laugh, but is a pretty nice one, something Jason hadn't heard in days, that helps calm the tension in his shoulders, and apparently he's not the only one, Damian seems much quieter than a few hours ago. The silence is comfortable, gradually the tension disappearing.

Maybe everything will be okay now. 


	5. Divine Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible doing summary, so just enjoy the chapter :D

After the movie was almost over, Jason remembers that Goldie should eat at least half the smoothie Alfred prepared, one of his remedies that cure everything.

"Ugh no, not that," Dick says wrinkling his forehead.

"Come on Goldie, you should take a few sips, it's important," Jason says bringing the smoothie to the face of Goldie, who shakes his head.

"Grayson, it's Pennyworth's orders, you need to drink it," Damian says looking seriously at Dick.

"C’mon."

"Grayson, stop playing, you don't have 5 years, stop,"

"Open your mouth, now," Jason jokes while putting the green smoothie in front of Dick. Goldie shakes his head and keeps his mouth shut, and then he puts his hands in front of his face, pushing away the smoothie. Jason giggles and brings the smoothie close again, and then out of nowhere, Dick's huge wings move quickly, and they get in front of Dick's face, covering him up completely, Goldie lets out a little cry of surprise. Jason set aside the smoothie in time before the wings threw it, and he let out a small whistle, surprised. Nobody says anything for a moment, and Dick watches in amazement as his wings seem to have a life of their own, as they keep covering his face, then slowly he moves them away with his hands, and the wings slowly return to where they were before, Dick releases a little groan while moving them. Damian's face is pure art, astonishment engraved in his expression. _Instead_, Dick feels his cheeks redden for a moment. "How did you do that?" Jason says without avoiding hiding his impression.

“I-I don't know, it just happened. It was like giving my hands orders and the wings just moved. ” Goldie says putting both hands on his lap, looking sideways at the wings. Jason says nothing, but inside he can't help smiling, Goldie here looks like a real angel, and now possibly he is one.

"Well, I wouldn't be surprised if you learned to fly in a few months." Jason jokes and that makes Dick laugh out loud. Both (Jason and Damian) without admitting feel warmth, Goldie's laughter seems to be magical, because it can turn the moment into a quiet one and bright the room. Dick, with a little protest, drinks the smoothie, then adjusts his head more at the headboard and relaxes. A few minutes of silence pass, in which the only background is the soft noise of the TV. Jason is about to fall asleep in his chair when Dick suddenly sits down, putting both hands in his mouth. "Oh, not again," Jason mumbles getting up in seconds. Quickly, Dick jumps out of bed, tearing the IV from his arm, no matter that may hurt, and he shoots into the bathroom. Jason again runs his hands over Goldie's back, trying to give him comfort. It's worrisome that Dick can't stand any kind of food. What the wings have to do with it? Did they affect Dick's entire body? Jason asks himself those questions while holding his hair tightly once Goldie finishes panting. Damian passes him a glass of water and Dick takes it slowly, Jason lifts him from the cold floor holding almost all his weight. And Jason looks at the small wound left by line IV when it was torn off so sharply. Before he can say anything, Dick stops.

"I need a bath; I think it could help me," Goldie says softly, almost in a sigh, it seems that again the strength is gone of his body.

"Do you need Pennyworth to assist you?" Demon brat asks with folded arms.

"No Dami, I'm fine."

"Are you sure about that Goldie?" Jason asks as Dick's legs seem to shake when they reach the sliding doors of the huge shower. "You can barely stand up."

"I just need help getting in," Dick says pretty sure of himself. And although Jason knows that Goldie surely wants to hide his weakness before Damian, he nods giving Dick a small nod. Damian takes that as his signal because he immediately approaches the door, but not before looking at Goldie.

“I'll be outside Grayson, shout if you need assistance.”

"Thank you, Dami." The demon looks Jason before closing the door slowly; Jason can't help turning his eyes. Once they are alone, Jason slowly approaches Dick.

"Ok Goldie, ready?" Jason starts running the water, impressed with the temperature of the water; it's the only good thing about the manor, really. He leaves it in the middle between hot and a little cold. Jason turns to see Dickie and observes that he is only in boxers, his pants lying around the floor.

"Ugh, I almost forgot how lazy you are, what would Alfred say about your manners?" Goldie lets out a small laugh but says nothing, Jason throws his pants into the laundry basket and when he turns around the words die in his mouth. He almost feels shame about how his face should look right now. With his mouth, a little open; Jason raises his eyebrows almost to his hairline. _Puff. _It seems that time stops again while contemplating Dick's naked body, it is not that he has not seen him naked other times, but now it is a completely different image. The majestic white wings give him an angelic image. _He looks like a fucking angel, with its entire splendor in the fucking shower_. Dick was washing his hair gently, turning his back to Jason. The wings slowly seem to be placed on his back, while they are wet it gives them another touch, but they are still beautiful. Goldie starts humming a song softly and Jason feels his heart beat faster, he needs to turn around, give Dick a little privacy, but he cannot look away. He stays like an idiot right there. So oblivious to the outside world that he does not listen when the door opens, nor when a growl is heard, he only returns to himself the moment that pain spreads through his left cheek, and thus he realizes that the damn brat has just thrown a glass cup directly to his face, to the fucking face! The impact of the glass being destroyed in pieces makes Jason react. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLE!?" Jason yells staring at Damian with his arms folded at the door. He regrets not having his weapons right here with him. 

"What was that?" Dick turns his face to see his brothers about to tear off his throats.

"The imbecile of Todd had his mouth open as he watched you wickedly!"

"That's not true brat!" Jason growls, trying to hide the redness of his cheeks. Luckily there's no blood in his face. “You threw a fucking glass at my face! Did you lose your damn mind?”

"If you hadn't been so immersed watching Grayson you could have dodged the projectile, did you just call yourself a vigilant?"

"Look brat ..." Jason starts approaching Damian with the intention of a fight, but Goldie clears his throat.

"Guys, please, not now. Dami, you could have hurt Jay, that's not okay, you should apology." The way he says it sounds so tired, and who can resist that tone? Not even Damian can. Jason releases a groan and a warning look at Damian, the brat obviously doesn't apologize, but he keeps his mouth shut. Jason approaches Goldie, who closes the water after wetting his face one last time. Jason immediately passes him a towel and Goldie gives him a small smile, he begins to dry his hair and then leaves it on his shoulders. Damian approaches and gives Dick the clothes that Alfred had previously left, Goldie puts on his boxers and a fairly comfortable pants, Jason helps him get to his room and to the bed, where he sits and begins to pass the towel by his wings, getting used to the feeling of drying them, the way it looks seems so unreal. Jason removes the towel and gently begins to dry some wings that are still wet, the moment feels so calm, Goldie closing his eyes at the feeling of soft caresses, Damian watches the scene with crossed arms but his shoulders are relaxed. Once Jason finishes, he puts the towel in the laundry basket and watches Damian try to pass a Goldie shirt, which lets out a funny smile.

"Dami, I don't think that will fit."

"What are we supposed to do Grayson, make holes in all your shirts?"

"I guess for now, _yeah_," Goldie says with a laugh.

After half an hour, between small fights, laughter from Dick and eyes turned on the part of Damian and Jason, they manage to make holes to some Dick t-shirts, who seem quite funny watching their brothers trying to guess where the wings were, and of what size the holes should be. Once ready, Jason helps Dick put on his shirt and he can begin to see that Goldie's abdomen is thinner than usual, Damian also notices, but they say nothing. The shirt looked good. Dick turns his body making the wings spin slowly, every day he seems to get a little more control over them. But Jason can see behind those smiles, he can perceive how Dick tries to hide what he really feels, not wanting to worry his brothers anymore. The family was already stressed; Dick surely wants to look as if everything is fine. He's sure that yesterday in the middle of the night when Dick though Jason was asleep, he could hear his cries. It is quite obvious that he is also stressed, not knowing if he will recover his life, if he will be Nightwing again. Jason doesn't even want to think about that anymore. Jason should be patrolling right now, hunting the sorceress, until he finds her and forces her to return Goldie to normal. But he feels that he cannot leave, he knows that he would not be calm away from Dick and without knowing if his condition continues to improve or instead gets worse again. And that is what he hates about feelings, he hates the feeling of loving someone and not being able to eliminate the affection.

_He himself knew from experience that not even death could burn those feelings._

And he tried for so long, he tried to hate them, hate them, hate Dick. But clearly the wonder boy wasn't going to allow that, no. Some time passed, years for Jason to finally open slowly, Dick managed to pass his barriers and knock them down with a warm smile and those stupid puns, with those big, sincere eyes and comforting laughter. Dick fought with claws and teeth to regain his confidence and not only that, _he earned his respect. _He fought to have the whole family as close as possible. He did not give up; he never stopped trying. And he did it, he make it. They are still a fuck-up family, _of course_. But the change could be perceived, as the same thing that separated them before now holds them together. Jason was the test in person. Dick is the reason he even stayed longer than planned watching after him, _damn it_. The reason why he was even talking with Bruce without fits involved. That had to count as something, _right? _


	6. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Constantine comes to visit and give his advice to Dick.

The door opens revealing Tim, freshly bathed and in comfortable clothes. Jason observes that he must have returned from patrol, the teenager tries not to make noise as he makes his way through the room and then stops to watch the bed. And honestly, the image is kind of cute, just a little. Damian can be a lot of things, but cute he is not. He is Bruce's son after all.  
Dickie-Bird is again completely asleep, snoring softly, beside him on the big bed is the demon sleeping too, lying on the older chest. Tim watches the scene until he feels eyes on him, and looks back at Jason.

"Haven't you slept?" Tim asks scratching his neck; Jason spreads his legs back on the bed, in a more comfortable position.

"Hush Replacement, you're going to wake up the sleeping beauty," Jason says whispering, not really wanting to answer the question. "Any hint of the sorceress's whereabouts?" He prefers to change the subject.

"Nothing until now" Tim lets out a sigh. “It is as she had disappeared from the phase of the earth. I think it's suspicious that she’s just gone, don't you think? And that his only victim was Dick. Something does not make sense. ”

"Shut up Drake," Damian growls softly.

"Nobody invited you to the conversation, demon," Tim whispers in exasperation.

"And nobody has asked for your opinion Drake."

"Hush, this is not a dialogue table, both shut your mouths." Jason closes his eyes trying to go back to sleep.

"I'll do it until Drake leaves" Damian demands.

"I will not go, I came to sleep, back off!" Jason lets out a sigh and clenches his eyes harder, concentrating his mind on shutting up his fucking voices. He feels movement in the bed and someone passes by his legs, he takes the opportunity to drop a kick and Replacement lets out a groan.

"Jason!" Tim says quite loudly, Damian almost growls.

“Shut up Drake! You're going to wake up Grayson. ” After a few minutes of stupid arguments, finally, silence invades the room. Jason lets out a sigh and accepts the fatigue, immediately losing himself in his sleep.

_____________

Jason wakes up for something falling into his lap, he opens his eyes and then closes them, light enters through the large windows with too much intensity. Gradually he opens them again and discovers that in his lap there is a sock, he looks up and can observe the Replacement and the Demon throwing clothes in his direction, he passes a hand over his face and rises. Then they both stop throwing things and both look away.  
Jason cracks his neck slowly, feeling more rested than a few days ago. Then he turns his attention to the bed and observes that Dickie is still sleeping. He tries not to think about anything bad, but he can't help it, because when Jason approaches the bed it can start to notice that Goldie's face is also getting thinner. Tim looks at him without understanding and then in a moment, everyone is watching Dick's face.

"What if ... his body does not continue to accept food?" Tim asks quite worried.

"Father will find a solution," Damian says quite sure of himself. Jason is about to say that he is not very sure when the door opens, Bruce enters quite hurriedly and stops in front of the bed.

"John Constantine is here."

"Here? Right now?”Tim says raising an eyebrow.

"No, yesterday," Jason says, rolling his eyes. Bruce literally runs everyone out of the room with his eyes; Jason crosses his arms and stays at the side of the bed. Damian leaves the room quite angry that Bruce doesn't let him stay but he doesn't say anything, Tim simply takes a last look at Dick and leaves as well. Some voices are heard in the hallway and Jason brings his hand to Goldie's face, pats him on the cheek and the blue-eyed simply wrinkles his forehead but doesn't wake up. Jason brings his hand back and this time gently squeezes Goldie's nose, he opens one eye watching Jason through his stupidly long eyelashes.

"Jay!" His tone is sleepy and very adorable.

"Wake up sleeping beauty, you have a visitor." Dick ignores him and turns his face to another direction, Jason releases a sigh and watches Bruce walk through the door, John Constantine follows; Jason remembers have seen him in a few occasions, but they had never really met personally, but of course, the bat knows everyone. Soon the smell of tobacco reaches his nose and he must contain himself from not going to the balcony right now to smoke a little. _Some habits never die. _John watches the entire room closely and then directs his attention to the occupant of the bed, he raises an eyebrow and watches Bruce.

"Well, you didn't lie saying your son had wings." Jason half chuckles and Bruce... _well_, just cross both arms without saying anything. John seems used to the mood of the bat because he ignores his reaction. John directs his eyes to Jason and they both nod in a salute. The bat approaches the bed and begins to wake Dick, who after a few attempts manages to do so. He looks at the sorcerer standing there and dedicates one of his usual charming smiles.

"Hey."

"Luv, what mess have you gotten yourself into?" John approaches the bed and puts both arms on his hip.

"Uh, you know, the usual," Dick says releasing another smile.

“What did the sorceress look like? Did she look like a witch? Or did she look more modern?”

"Hmm" Dick makes a gesture of thinking about it, after a few seconds he opens his eyes wide. "I do not remember very well". Jason stares him and wrinkles his forehead, he remembers perfectly everything that happened that damn night, it's not as if he could forget it, even if he wanted to.

“Well, I do remember very well; She had a horrendous long dress and boots, a mix between tramp and fashion,” Jason says and Dick is the only one who lets out a laugh, John looks at him.

"Did you see everything?"

"Yep." The sorcerer continues to ask Dickie questions, some things are answer by Jason, it's as if Dick was forgetting what happened that night, which is quite strange and worrisome. After a few minutes, John holds his chin thoughtfully.

"Well, Luv, could I see your wings?" Dick nods and extends his hand, Bruce takes it and helps him sit down. Jason watches Dick's shirt quite proudly, and how it fits perfectly. And if it wasn't his imagination, he can see Bruce slightly raise his lip when he also notices the shirt. Goldie slowly approaches the edge of the bed and puts both hands on his lap. John approaches and examines both wings carefully, he puts his hand, and delicately runs his fingers through the feathers, Dick jumps a little to the contact. John gets even closer and looks at the beginning of the wings, as they start in Goldie's back, the skin around is still a little red. After a few minutes of silence, John separates and Dick turns around, biting his lip.

"Well?" Dick whispers.

"_Well_," John scratches his chin and looks Dick in the eye. “I guess Zatanna told you the same thing, but yes, for me, it looks pretty well done. Generally, spells of this type do not end well, there may be many mistakes, and the spell she made went perfectly, there is a chance that the spell will disappear within a few weeks.”

"Really?" Dick says, his eyes shining with joy, Jason feels a knot in his stomach, he doesn't want to get illusions either.

“Yes, but we cannot know that with certainty until time passes. If the spell was done really well, it can be irreparable. The best thing now is to simply wait.”

Dick nods, but his pretty face is full of hope. Despite everything, he always has hope. Something Jason doesn't have anymore.

"And why does it continue to affect his health so much?" Bruce asks crossing both arms.

"Well, surely the wings are consuming all his energy, they are adsorbing all his vitamins and nutrients, they are likely to be temporary feathers, many more can come out and he can even have a molt.

"Molt? Like a bird? ”Dick asks sounding incredulous.

“Yup, that's why your body can also begin to change, the bones will become lighter, your weight can also change, the birds have light bodies to be able to fly. Your entire internal structure may be changing, your body will have a total change. And it is likely that you continue to have discomfort and pain, and it will be worse if you do not accept your wings. ”

"Accept them?" Dick wrinkles his forehead.

“The more you keep denying them, the harder it will be, you need to start seeing them as if they were an extension of your hands. In the time we find a solution, you need to work on the wings, the more you keep denying them it will cost you more work to adapt. ”

"And what is the other solution, if they don't disappear on their own?" Bruce says clenching his jaw.

"Well, if they don't disappear, and we don't find the sorceress and make her undo the spell, he has to stay with the wings."

"I can't just ... cut them?" Dick mumbles half-joking, but he has both hands holding the bed tightly. He seems troubled. 

"_No_, if a bird cuts its wings it would die, if not for a hemorrhage it is for depression. It would be like amputating a hand, painful and can be deadly.” Everyone stays silent after that for a moment, Bruce like always asks his dumb questions. Dick seems a little calm, but he still biting his lower lip. John accommodates his coat and puts his hand on Dick's shoulder.

"Give it some time, they may disappear in a few weeks, and if not, we will find a solution." Dick gives him a sincere smile and John steps away, he quickly says goodbye and he disappears just from where he came from. Jason sits next to Goldie and pushes his shoulder gently.

"See? Give it a few weeks, they can disappear. ” Jason tries to sound positive.

"You're right, I just have to hope for the best."

For the first time in days, _Dick sounds hopeful._


	7. Little Wing

The following days are quite diverse. Dick had his bad days, not so bad days, and now little by little, they start to be better days. His visits to the bathroom are almost zero. At least his diet begins to be more solid than just green smoothies. However, the change in his body is faster and totally noticeable; Dick had always been thinner for his acrobatic movements and style life. Now it seems that he lost abruptly 10 kg from one day to another, but curiously, his body remains looking pretty aesthetic, despite muscle loss. _Lucky guy_.

His face was also thinner, and that was the most notorious of all. Dick has always had softer features, a pretty face. Now his cheekbones are more defined, giving him a different touch. Jason feels that now he can't stop comparing his face with an angel, but heck, he always has been, right?_ Fuck. _Every day he has more control of the wings, although the movement is limited, little by little Jason can watch him occasionally make delicate movements, and it doesn’t seem to hurt like before. The Replacement had investigated and got Goldie a special cream to put it where the wings start, that also seems to be helping a lot. Each day the little bird begins to leave more his room, gradually regaining his strength, although from time to time Jason helps him when his legs give up. The only problem now was the pain in his bones, as the sorcerer had said, his bones were getting lighter, and that was completely changing the internal structure of Dickie-Bird. What usually hurts him the most is his back, obviously, and the shoulders. Nothing that some pain pills won't fix. Or a hug from the family, according to Dick. But that doesn't seem to be depressing Goldie, Jason can see the hope in his eyes, waiting for a few months to pass and hope that the spell disappears by itself. Jason wants to think the same, but it is painful to hold on to something that may never happen. And just thinking about Dick's reaction makes him sick. A few nights ago Jason had seen Dick mark with an X the days that had passed since the incident, literally counting the time he has been with the wings.

But Jason is allowed to have some hope. That was what Dick taught him, _after all._

"Earth calling Jay" Goldie's high tone returns him to reality, Jason turns his attention away from the supposed book he was reading and directs his attention to the occupant of the bed, in seconds throws a pillow to his face. "Hey!" Dick says surprised.

"Losing your agility Dickie-Bird?" Jason says with an evil smile, Dick rolls his eyes.

"Of course not; I was just distracted.”

"Right" Jason observes that Dick has not finished the damn meal, and gives him a look, Goldie immediately bites his salad, frowning. Basically Alfred had built a diet specifically for him. That was another challenge, a total change in his diet, when Dick always had a sugary cereal diet, basically. Now his diet consisted of several meals a day, full of vitamins, minerals, and nutrients, his body is burning grease so much faster than a normal person, to keep his body light.  
Jason had read something about the muscle structure in birds, less dense, and must have very little grease. I was basically applying the same thing with Dickie-Bird.

"Little Wing," The nickname makes him turn confused to Dick; he hasn't heard that damn nickname for a long time. He looks at the blue-eyed face and sees that he is quite serious. Jason swallows and raises an eyebrow.

"Why are you here?" Dick asks softly, not looking him in the eye.

“What do you mean why? Someone must make sure you eat your vegetables,” Jason says quickly.

"No... I mean" Dick says scratching his jaw gently. “Since that day you have not left. And… I honestly didn't think you would stay for so long,” _Ouch. _Jason clears his throat, trying not to take that personally. But he also knows that not more than a few years ago he tried to kill them all, _so..._

"Little faith you have in me, huh?" Jason tries to sound playful, but the comment comes out sharper than expected.

"Of course no! It's not that,” Dick exclaims right away, finally looking into his eyes. “I've always had so much faith in you. It's just that, I'm surprised you're here, I know you're not comfortable being here in the manor. And I know you haven't even slept in your old room. And, I know you make a great effort being here with me. Thank you, Little Wing, without you I would have lost my mind,” Dick says with a smile full of affection. Jason looks away, trying to hide his blush.

"Yeah, whatever. I know you would do the same for me Dick-Face, call it a paid favor.” Dick nods with a silly smile, realizing Jason's discomfort. Luckily he decides to put that nonsense of feelings aside and concentrates on finishing his meal. Jason returns his attention to the book in his lap and gives a soft sigh. The house is so quiet without the demon or the replacement. Damian had been forced to go back to school since he had missed enough days to be next to Dick. The replacement had also returned to normal activities, but he always tried to spend as much time as he had in the manor with Dick. Bruce was possibly pretending to be Brucie Wayne for his company, but lately, he was spending a lot of time in the cave, he wasn't going to stop until he found the sorceress, there was no doubt about that. So Jason was the only one available to watch Dick. It feels like having a vacation. In a terrible place, but a least he was having a good time annoying Dick.

"Hey, watch this,"

Jason turns his attention back to the blue-eyed, Dick extends his hand in his direction and slowly makes his right-wing move, making a smooth movement mimicking his hand. It seems silly, but for Dick, it seems like the most impressive movement of all, and Jason can't help smiling. Dick lets out a small laugh and then shakes his hair, then shake his wings like a bird. And Jason stares at the scene with his eyes wide open, he lets out a laugh after Dick. In a moment, _both begin to laugh_. It is not until Jason is holding his stomach that he realizes that it is the first attack of laughter he had in months (or years), the mere thought makes him shudder. He feels warmth spread in his chest, can't really help it. Dick wipes his tears and watches him still laughing.

"You can't tell anyone that I did that, they won't stop bothering me that I'm becoming a bird."

"I don't promise anything Dickie, that was weird, you're definitely becoming a bird."

"Jay!" Dick makes his stupid pout, but no, Jason won't fall for it.

"I'm immune to your puppy eyes, that doesn't work on me," Jason says sure of himself, crossing his arms. Dick keeps his pout and beats those long eyelashes. For a moment they stay in silence, both looking at each other to see who loses first. Jason curses inwardly and growls.

"Okay, you win, take that damn face off!" Dick lets out another laugh and then his face lights up.

"I have an idea" Jason closes his eyes, _this never works out well._

"And now what?"

“The first one that arrives at the kitchen decides the next movie,” Without waiting for an answer, Dick shoots out of bed, his wings bouncing behind his back. Jason stays there like an idiot, watching Dick's body disappear until he reacts.

“Dick-Face! I'm not going to see another Disney marathon!”

Jason runs after him, impressed that Dick is as energetic as ever. But he still runs after him, because Jason was definitely not going to watch a single Disney movie _anymore_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't like this chapter so much, it's very short. But the next one is going to be very good, wait for it!  
Thanks for the kudos and the comments, I loved it. :3


	8. Caged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick's point of view. 
> 
> Dick feels like he is losing his mind, he's not okay. But he is trying for his family, he doesn't want to lose hope.

_Dick marks one more X on the calendar, one more._

They have been long, long days. Every day seems more eternal than the previous one. Before Dick lost track of time because he spent most of the day sleeping, the first weeks he even fainted a few times due to lack of food and activity, his body was not designed to be motionless for so long. He also remembers the days when he could not leave the bathroom, that whatever he ate could not remain in his stomach. The fatigue was so strong that when he touched his bed he fell exhausted. But now every day seems to last longer, fatigue and pain seem to be something easy to adapt. Dick could adapt to almost anything, but something he definitely couldn't do was be still. His life has always been in movement, without stopping, from side to side; Jumping, running, ducking, flying... hell, _how he missed that_.

Slowly he gets out of bed and walks around his room. Huge wings now a constant weight on his back. He still couldn't get used to them, to wear them, literally. Feel how they came out his back, how they are made of his own bones and blood. His, but Dick doesn't feel they belong to him, they feel like a virus, an infection. Something that does not let him escape, that keeps him locked in a huge cage. The idea makes him laugh bitterly; Now it's nothing more than a bird locked in a cage. His freedom is no longer his. He stands in front of the bathroom mirror, seeing his reflection. Who looks back is a stranger. Dick passes his gaze through his body, through his marked abdomen, but also through the ribs that begin to be marked. To his muscular arms, but now they have lost size. The change was not so severe, if he looked at his body he could still know it was his, his scars were still there, everything was fine. But when he looked up, he was no longer sure. The wings remain behind his back but still visible, something foreign to him, something that does not belong to him. He keeps looking up until he sees himself in the eyes. His face seemed to be the biggest change; something everyone noticed right away. His face looked thinner, his cheekbones were more defined, and although he always had softer features, they were now more noticeable. _A Pretty Bird_.

Dick concentrates a little and then moves the wings, shaking them gently, the movement more fluid every day. Slowly they move forward and seem to embrace him, the heat they emit turns out to be a comforting sensation. He turns his gaze to the mirror and can't help being surprised. The image in front of him seems so unreal. The wings seem to hug him, the almost bright white color against his skin.

"Dick?" He hears Tim's voice and slowly turns to see his brother. Tim quickly looks over his wings and gives him a small worried smile.

"Everything okay?" Tim says squeezing his laptop, waiting for his answer.

"Yeah, everything fine. I was just… watching,” Dick says softly, placing his wings again behind his back, Tim looks back at his face, looking for something. After a moment, he lets out a sigh and a half-smile.

"I found information that might be interesting to you," Tim scratches his head. "You want to see?"

"Sure, show me Timbo." The teenager grimaces at the nickname but releases a real smile after. Dick follows him to his huge bed and they both settle. Tim stands near him, enough for his shoulders to rub. He puts the computer in his legs and Tim starts explaining his research.

_40 minutes later, and Dick still can't fully understand._

"So, hmm, are the wings composed of layers of feathers?"

"Yes," Tim says for the sixth time running a hand over his face. "I already explained each name, can you remember them?"

"Primaries, secondaries, hmm" Dick lets out a sigh, and Tim watches him in exasperation. "Oh, and you said that on top of both of these are feathers called coverts, right?"

"Yup, what else?"

“There are primary coverts that cover the primary, secondary coverts of various sizes that cover the secondary, hmmm…. marginal coverts, and alula feathers which are kind of like coverts but attached to the “thumb” joint, or something," Dick finishes saying with a huge smile, Tim nods giving him a proud little smile, then looks back at his laptop, reading more information. And it really was a lot of information, things that didn't seem so important until a month ago, things that happened for granted. And now, _puff_, now they turn out to be important because he shares anatomy with a _bird_.

"From what I've investigated your wings are not big enough to make you fly, but there is a chance that you will have a molt and can grow new and bigger."

“Yes, that's what Constantine said. Even so, a molt, really? ” Dick says releasing a small pout, it's not as if he expects to have so much time with the wings to worry about it now.

"Well, everything indicates yes, but I still wouldn't be sure of that, listen to this," Tim explains the basic concept of a molt and how it affects birds, how there are different types of malts, and things like that. After a few minutes, the teenager changes the subject. Tim begins to slowly explain the structure of a feather, its parts, and the names of each element. His back protests a little and he decides to lie on his back, putting both hands on his lap while Tim continues to explain and show images of different types of feathers. Dick turns to the side watching his right-wing and approaches his hand, gently takes a feather from the many and carefully plucks it, he feels a small pull but nothing too painful. He looks at the feather slowly and then approaches it to the face of Tim, who watches it in amazement. “Doesn't it hurt to tear one-off?” Tim asks taking the feather and watching it carefully.

"Nope, it feels like plucking a hair, kinda,"

"And... how does it feel when someone touches them?"

"Well, if the caress is very soft it doesn't feel much, but if you put more pressure with your hand it feels good," Tim slowly approaches his hand, then looks into his eyes, Dick nods with a smile and slowly the teenager puts his hand on his right-wing giving soft touches, then gives a stronger caress. Dick immediately feels chills going through his back, it is a new and strange sensation, but it feels extremely good. Tim keeps giving gentle caresses and Dick realizes that at some point he had closed his eyes.  
When he opens them, Tim is still watching his wings, the moment feels calm and full of warmth.

"That felt great," Dick whispers with a slight smile, Tim returns it.

“Well, I had read it is intimate for a bird to allow you to touch the underneath of their wing. That’s an extremely vulnerable location to be touching and a bird that lets you do that, trust you a lot,"

"Really? Well, I do trust you a lot,"

"Yes, that's why I imagine a caress felt more comforting there than in the rest of your wings," Tim blushes a little at his words. 

"Well indeed, I could almost sing of happiness" Tim lets out a laugh at that.

"My God, you're really becoming a bird,"

"Yup, it's what I am at the moment Timbo," They both remain silent for a moment, Dick watches his feather reloaded on the bed and takes it, spinning it. A question comes to his mind and then he clears his throat.

"Tim," The teenager looks up from his computer looking at him. "Do you think these wings will soon disappear?" There is an extended silence and Dick feels his heart beating fast. He doesn't want to think about anything negative, he doesn't want to think about how much time has passed since the incident and when the damn wings will disappear, but Tim's silence and how the teenager is trying to think of an appropriate response causes him more anxiety.

“Well, there is a possibility that they disappear, Constantine said it could be a few months, right? We can't be sure of anything at the moment, everything can happen.” Tim says biting his lip.

"Yeah,"

"Hey," Tim says catching his attention and places his hand on Dick's shoulder. "Do not worry, okay? Whatever happens, we will solve it, in one way or another everything will be fine.” Dick nods softly, not finding his voice to speak.

_____________

Dick feels he is falling into a routine and the thought terrifies him. Every day he feels that the walls of his room are closing more and more, he feels that the cage begins to shrink more. The weight on his back every day feels heavier.  
He tries to distract his mind by doing a routine; wake up, eat healthy, exercise which he really needed, (only now it is quite different to exercise with large wings attached to his back, but he demands himself to continue and finish the training), go around in his room and stay looking in the mirror with the hope that the wings would disappear, but it hasn't happened. After more healthy food, watch the news to know how things were in the city, and then meditate to keep his mind busy. The best of his day was spending time with his family, spending mornings with Alfred, watching the older cook, and had quiet conversations. When Damian returned from school and if he had not homework they used to train for a while, or while Dick meditated, Damian spent his time drawing, they were calm and harmonious afternoons. When Tim had free time they also train or simply watched movies and talked for hours. Jason had to return to his activities and that was possibly what he missed the most, he loved being with his younger brothers, but with them, he had to be strong at all times, be the older brother. And he was tired of being strong, sometimes he just wanted to destroy everything, and scream out loud, and with Jason, he felt he could do it, the weeks he spent taking care of him had given him security and hope. Jason had promised that he would only be out for a few days fixing his business, but that he would return with him as soon as possible.

And Bruce, well... Bruce was another story. Bruce spent almost all day in the company, and then in the manor all the time in the cave, obsessed with the idea of finding the sorceress, patrolling for hours looking for traces of her. And of course, Dick wanted them to found the sorceress, but he also wanted his father figure to tell him that everything would be fine. He hardly talked to Dick, as if he was angry with him, and that kept Dick more stressed. The only interaction was when Dick saw him before he went to work in the morning, but they didn't talk much there. And if he wasn't imagining that, some nights when he suddenly wakes up, Dick has felt that he sees Bruce's shadow pass or feels a caress in his hair, but he could not say if that was real. Today particularly he wakes up without energy, he crosses out one more X on the calendar. This time he watches the window for hours, watching the blue sky and the sun, it is a beautiful day. And yet here he is, unable to leave. Dick feels his eyes wet but refuses to cry, he can't be weak, he can't lose hope. It's not like he is suffering, he has everything he needs here, right? His family is fine, he has a home where they love him, physically he is well, he only has wings. That doesn't sound so bad. But why does he feel so empty? An idea goes through his mind a few minutes later, he leaves the window with a sigh and walks to the large bathroom of his room. He searches the shelves and finally finds what he needed. He joins several rolls of bandage and removes his shirt. Slowly and in front of the mirror, he begins to pass the bandages on his back, pressing the wings against his back, he passes several layers until he feels satisfied. Once he feels that everything is in place, Dick looks up to the big mirror and lets out a small smile.

It looks pretty ridiculous and strange with all the bandages but finally, there are no traces of the huge white wings. He moves his shoulders trying to remove the strange sensation and goes to his room looking for a baggy shirt and a jacket. When he returns to the bathroom a few minutes later, he remains frozen before the scene in front of him. For a moment, he finally feels normal. _There are no wings, there are no feathers, nothing. _He looks at his back and doesn't really see anything strange, he doesn't look any lump due to the baggy shirt and the jacket on. He lets out a smile and stays another moment like that, looking at himself. After a few minutes, he takes his keys, cell phone, and wallet. Go down the stairs two at a time quite happy and he hears movement in the kitchen.

"Alfred!"

“Yes, Master Richard? The food is not ready yet,” Alfred turns to see him and accidentally drops the spoon he was using.

“Oh dear, what did you do? Wher…?"

“Don't worry Alfie, I didn't do anything to them. I just had a lot of bandages on my back and I keep them attached.” Dick says interrupting the eldest, giving him an excited smile. Alfred lets out a sigh and gives him a small smile.

“For a moment I thought you had cut them. You shouldn't scare an old man like that, would you?”

"I'm sorry Alfie, it wasn't my intention" Dick turns around quite happily and then grabs an apple.

"I'll go out for a while!" Dick announces biting the apple.

"Go out? And could I know where you're going, Master Richard? ” Alfred says, wrinkling his forehead slightly.

"I'll go to Blud, I need to check my apartment and let them know that I'm still alive, see how things are and what happened in my absence."

"I think that's fine young sir, but wouldn't it be convincing for me to take you there?"

"Thanks, Alfie, but I need to get some air"

“And wouldn't you like young Timothy or Damian to accompany you? They should not take long to arrive ”

“No, thanks, Alf. It won't take long, okay? ”Dick gives the elder a smile. "I'll be back before dinner!"

Dick shoots out of the kitchen without waiting for an answer and goes to the garage, straight to where he knows his motorcycle is. He passes his hand over the steering wheel and lets out a sigh, quickly finds his helmet and keys. And he shoots out of the manor.

He feels the adrenaline vibrate through his body as he passes at full speed between the streets of Gotham, the sensation of the wind in his face brings him back to life, nothing compared to the previous weeks. For a moment everything is the same as always. As if there's no weight on its back or as if he had not a curse.  
He feels his smile almost hurt when after almost an hour, he can see the rusty sign in front of him.

_Finally, he is at home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the chapter, it took time to write this but I really like it. The next chapters are going to be full of tears, screams and a lot of hugs. :´)


	9. Scissors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick has a really hard time.

The first thing that Dick does when he arrives at his apartment is to drop on the sofa, before, those three floors cost nothing to climb, now... Dick releases a sigh and closes his eyes for a moment. The bandage feels a bit strange and the wings are uncomfortable, they want to get out, not be tied behind his back. Dick tries not to concentrate on the discomfort and slowly gets up from the couch after a few minutes. He looks near the door and sees the mail, bends down to pick up each one, reading quickly while walking towards the kitchen. He notices that the rent is already paid, and immediately wrinkles his forehead. He continues reading and realizes that the rent is even paid 3 months in advance. Dick crinkle the latter and throws it to the ground. _Of course_, Bruce would do something like that without even asking him anything before, but he couldn't even look him in the eye, how could he tell him he paid the fucking rent? Dick doesn't understand why something so stupid makes him angry, but he can't help it. Abruptly he opens the refrigerator door and obviously there is almost nothing, he observes milk and when he tastes a little the milk is already rancid, he quickly throws it into the sink and continues looking for something to eat, his stomach literally roars. When he realizes that he is really not going to find any food, he searches the shelves for a box of cereal, when he founds one he begins to eat little by little and finally releases a happy sound. While chewing cereal, he walks through his apartment, finding that everything is as he leaves it. Slowly he walks into a room and opens the closet, watching his suit. He looks at it for several minutes, unable to get rid of the discomfort in his chest. Dick closes his eyes and shuts the door. He takes the keys and his wallet and he slaps the door while going out. With slow steps he begins to walk the well-known streets of Blüdhaven, looking for a place to eat. Dick remember his favorite place and slowly make his way there, he watches people go by, cars; everything stays the same. Everything but him, of course. He feels that he cannot be the same, _not anymore._

After a few minutes, he finally arrives at the place, observes that it is not very crowded, and chooses a place near the window. He lets out a sigh and tries to ignore the noise from his stomach. He hears steps and when he looks up he smiles without being able to avoid it.

"Maggy!"

“Richard, where had you been? You had me worried, you never take more than 3 days to order food at your place.” He has been going to eat there for years and has become quite close to Maggy, a pretty nice woman, she always consents him with extra food and a pat on the back. She puts a hand on his shoulder, watching his face closely.

“Sorry, I was busy. Problems with the family” Dick says with a chuckle, she continues to stare at him.

“Is everything okay honey? What happened to your face?”

"Don't I look more handsome like this?" Dick smiles and she finally smiles back.

"You always are darling, for your giant heart, but I see you different, your face looks sad."

"Everything is fine, thanks for asking anyway," Dick tries to release a real smile, she nods.

"The usual thing?"

"Yeah, thanks" She takes another look at his face but turns around and returns to the kitchen, Dick releases a sigh and puts his face on his palm, watching the restaurant. His stomach is still making noises and his back feels uncomfortable, it is a different discomfort. But Dick tries to forget it, concentrates on discarding the feeling and driving it away. _Suddenly_, he feels someone's gaze on him, and slowly directs his eyes in front of him, observes a woman turning his back on him and Dick wrinkles his forehead. Her hair is a mess and she seems quite familiar, a chill runs down his back. Dick jumps when a plate of food is put on his table, Maggy watches him worried.

"Is everything okay honey?"

"Hmm yes, I'm sorry, I was distracted." Dick passes a hand over his face.

"I brought you a bigger portion, you've lost weight" Maggy gives him a comforting smile and Dick nods more calmly.

"Thank you, Maggy." Dick begins to devour the food, releasing a satisfied sigh. He really missed this. And it's not that Alfred's food was bad, on the contrary. It's just that he had been on a strict diet for so long, he wasn't even allowed to eat cereal, and that altered him a little. He never had a specific diet, it has always been more of improvising, eating something here and there, surviving of "junk food" as Alfred always told him. And now his metabolism kept him hungry all day, he wanted to devour everything and at the same time, his body was just beginning to accept food as before. Dick cleanses his mouth and takes a sip from his drink, enjoying the taste. When he looks up, he looks for the lady a while ago and can't find her. He feels calmer and finishes the meal calmly. Maggy even brings him a dessert, and although he asks for something small, she insists on a good portion. Dick begins to devour the dessert, quite happy. But when he is almost over, his stomach protests again.

"Not again," Dick whispers closing his eyes and trying to keep nausea away, but the discomfort continues to increase. Slowly he takes out his wallet and leaves a good tip while releasing slow breaths. When he opens his eyes he stays frozen for a second, he feels a warm breath near his neck. Slowly he turns to the side and sees that there is no one there, Dick feels his heart beating fast. He feels very paranoid, so slowly he starts to get up but then he hears a giggle, and he freezes again, fear runs through his veins because when he looks up he immediately recognizes that evil smile. His stomach falls when the sorceress stares back. Without realizing it, Dick suddenly gets up throwing the chair to the ground, which causes a lot of noise and the few diners observe him strangely. The noise makes him blink several times and when he returns to look for the eyes of the sorceress he realizes that she is not there, and instead there is a lady looking at him without understanding. His stomach hurts and in seconds he runs to the bathrooms, arrives just in time, and takes everything out. When he finishes he is sweating and trembling, but he knows that he is trembling because of fear. He knows it was his imagination playing tricks on him, he knows it's his fear that made him see that. Dick repeats that over and over again while he walks to the washbasins, he wets his face and stays a moment there. When he feels better, he walks to the dining room and leaves quickly without looking back.

The air hits him in the face and he takes long breaths. He realizes that it is beginning to get dark and accommodates his jacket. He knows that he promised Alfred that he would return for dinner, but he also knows that he still does not want to return, and although his family is a great help, at this moment he needs to be alone. He looks for his cell phone and realizes that he forgot it in his apartment. He puts both hands in the pockets of his jacket and walks to his apartment. He would expect the walk to help calm his nerves, but with every step, he feels the anxiety wanting to return, the discomfort returns and he scratches his neck. The wings feel strange, he knows that he needs to take off the bandages and leave the wings loose but at the same time he would like to stay like this and not see them again. Just thinking makes him more nauseous. Someone runs behind him and unwittingly pushes him with his shoulder, Dick lets out a groan, not knowing why such an insignificant action caused him discomfort. Slowly he passes a hand touching his shoulder and gives a soft pat. He continues on his way and the anxiety continues bothering him, in a moment he feels someone's gaze again and frantically begins to look for those diabolical eyes everywhere, he accelerates his steps feeling persecuted. She can't be here, right? It has to be his mind fooling him.

He turns the corner and when he is about to reach his apartment he stops abruptly, in front of him he recognizes a long dress and a skin too pale to be normal. Sharp teeth reappear in that gruesome smile. Dick takes a step back when the sorceress winks at him, waving. Dick does not think twice and runs away in the opposite direction, a fear he had never felt runs through his bones, when he looks back at his shoulder he observes that his neighbor observes him without understanding, with his hand raised.  
But Dick does not stop to think, he runs without stopping, without stopping to take a breath.  
He collides with some people but does not slow down, fear invades his brain and makes him act without thinking. When he finally calms his mind a little, he realizes that he arrived at the park, which is somewhat far from his apartment. He lets out deep breaths and drops to the grass, exhausted. The wings protest the sudden weight but Dick ignores it. He passes a hand over his forehead removing the drops of sweat and stays like this for several minutes. He feels like he is losing his mind. The sky is dark and he knows that he must not wander around here, that he must return to the manor, but he also knows that they cannot see him like this, made a mess, and trembling with fear. He cannot tell them that he is hallucinating with the damn sorceress, that anxiety is making him see things that are not real. So slowly, he gets up and shakes the grass stuck to his clothes. He quietly leaves the park and again, walks back home. With a calmer mind, he walks through the streets, and then he sees a newspaper lying on the floor, for some reason he is curious about the image and bends down to pick it up. When he looks at the title in large letters he drops it, blinking repeatedly. He relays and relays several times, not wanting to believe it.

'NIGHTWING DEAD? After a month of absence in the streets, the decease of the hero is rumored.'

Dick squeezes both hands tightly and leaves, all the emotions hit him at once, and in the blink of an eye, he is facing the door of his apartment, slamming the door hard. Fear becomes rage and vice versa, anxiety reaches its peak and Dick puts his forehead against the door. His hands tremble and he can feel sweat go down his temple. He tries to calm his mind but this time is too much, all the events of the month hit him suddenly. He feels his face wet and realizes that he is crying. Tries to sharply remove his tears but more and more replace them. He lets out a sob and covers his mouth, dropping to the floor. He cannot be weak, he cannot succumb to the weight of his emotions, he has to think clearly. But it is so difficult, negative thoughts do not stop invading his brain. He feels that he is releasing noises but this time he does not try to hide them. He had been holding back his emotions for so long, enduring to keep them bottled, for showing himself strong in front of his family. Now they hit him hard, making him feel broken. The discomfort in his back worsens and he lets out a groan, desperately he takes off his jacket and shirt, almost tearing it off, throws it hard on the ground. Trying to tear off the bandage but it is too tight. He gives a little cry of despair and with trembling legs tries to get to the bathroom, he has to take this off. He doesn't even notice his cell phone on the table, or how it is vibrating, announcing a call.

Dick crashes the living room table throwing the lamp but he doesn't care, because he keeps fighting trying to take off the bandage. He reaches the bathroom between groans and sobs, and opens the shelf, pulling the medical kit. He throws it to the ground and begins to look for the scissors desperately, when he finds them he gets up and begins to cut the bandages, removing and pulling, until he finally manages to release the wings, which feel numb for so many hours of being tied. He closes his eyes and stays like that for a moment. He looks up at the mirror and sees at his reflection. His face is a mess, he had red and swollen eyes, he still crying, he observes his wings and shakes his head, he wants to stop seeing them, he wants them to disappear. Without thinking, he punches the mirror trying to stop seeing himself and jumps when the glass falls into the sink, breaking into thousands of pieces. Dick swallow when he sees the broken mirror, giving him an incomplete image of his face. He steps away from the sink and watches his hand, the blood soon appears and Dick pulls his hair, hard, trying to stop shaking. He looks at the scissors and an idea goes through his mind, and he knows he's having a panic attack. He knows that he is not thinking clearly, that if he does not stop at this moment he can make a fatal mistake. But the newspaper's title keeps repeating itself in his mind over and over again. He lets out another sob just thinking about not being Nightwing ever again.

When he opens his eyes, he takes the scissors and watches them carefully, almost in a trance.

He tries to take his left-wing with his injured hand, he stains some wings with blood, the red contrasting against the white. He brings closer the scissors and holds them tightly, _ready to cut them_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the POV of Jason, really cute moments!


	10. Hold You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :D

"Why the fuck he's not here?" Jason says exalted throwing his motorcycle helmet to the ground. The replacement looks at him crossing both arms.

"Alfred said that before lunch Dick went down without his wings and when he asked him what he had done, Dick told him that he had bandaged the wings and that he would go for a walk,"

“And why on earth did nobody go with him? Dick is not okay to hang around alone!” Jason growls and Tim wrinkles his forehead.

“I just got here, okay? I already track his cellphone and he is in his apartment in Blüdhaven, he’s fine. I was about to get him back."

"I go".

Jason leaves no room to argue because he retrieves his helmet from the ground and turns around. He roughly turns on his motorcycle to shoot at full speed between the streets of Gotham. He knows he exceeds the speed limit but honestly, he doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't stop at all and doesn't let the knot in his stomach slow him down. He knows that he has broken a record time in reaching Blüdhaven faster. He passes between the messy streets of Blüdhaven reducing speed, then finally he finds where the pretty bird lives. He leaves his motorcycle and helmet and quickly climbs the three floors of Goldie building. When he arrives at the well-known door abruptly he starts knocking.

"Dick? Open the door," He waits a moment and puts his ear close to the door, not hearing any noise. Jason swallows and starts knocking again. After a moment he curses and pulls out a pin, forcing the lock. He hears a click and he opens the door with a bang, entering the apartment and closing the door quickly behind him. "Goldie?” He notices that Dick's apartment is like always a mess, he checks the other rooms and obviously there are no traces of Dick. "Dammit" Jason releases a sigh and approaches the kitchen, taking out his phone. He dials Dick's number and then he hears Dick's cell phone vibrate on the table. He passes a hand over his face in exasperation and hangs up the call. He observes that there is a carton of milk in the sink and a box of cereal on the table too, and he knows that Dick was around here not too long ago. He takes his phone again.

"Jason, did you find Dick?" Tim answers right away, sounding tense.

"No, the moron left his phone; he's not in his apartment."

"Shit, Bruce is going to kill us,"

“No shit, Sherlock! Right now you have to tell me where Goldie could have gone, you know him better than me!” For some reason, Jason doesn't think that statement is completely true, maybe he did know Dick a little better now, _right?_

“I don't know Jason! He could literally be anywhere in Blud” Replacement says in exasperation.

“Great, now we have a little birdie lost,” Jason squeezes the phone and for a moment he feels he could break it.

“Look in a dinner or the park, or in the mall, he may have gone out and will be there soon.

"I'll check,”

"Do you want me to go?"

"No; I call you if I can't find him before nightfall.”

He doesn't hear what Tim says because he hangs up and then comes out again, slamming the door. He gets on his motorcycle swallowing the knot now in his throat and shoots out, looking at the dinners he knows that Dick usually frequents. After searching some without finding anything, Jason remembers a place where Dick took him a few months ago and he remembers that Goldie had mentioned getting along very well with the owner. Jason parks his motorcycle and observes that it is beginning to get dark.  
He goes inside the place and sees that it is quite empty, he looks between the brown antique tables and Goldie is nowhere to be seen. He curses, he’s about to leave when he feels someone's gaze, he watches a lady and knows that she is the owner of the dinner, he’s hesitant to ask but decides that he has nothing to lose.

"Yes?" She asks looking at him carefully; Jason runs a hand through his hair.

“Hmm, have you seen Dick Grayson stop by earlier? Handsome, black hair, blue eyes, lean?”

“Do you mean Richard? Yes, he was here,” she says, nodding, Jason sighs.

"How long was he here?"

“Half an hour ago, I suddenly heard noises and when I peeked I saw him run,”

"Run?" Jason wrinkles his forehead, no wanting to worry.

“I saw him quite differently as soon as he arrived, he was tense and quite lean, but he ate quite well, with dessert and everything. Half an hour later I heard a noise and then I saw that his chair fall and he had run away,”

"Ok, thanks," He turns around and then hears the soft voice of the woman.

"Are you his friend?" She asks curiously, Jason nods.

"Hmm, kind of, I guess,” Jason awkwardly answers. That's the question, though. _What are they? _

“You will make sure Richard is fine, right? He is a good person,”

"Yeah, I will."

Jason leaves there quickly and more worried than a few minutes ago, then put on his helmet. Where could Goldie be? He knows he must be there somewhere, _think, think. _He literally goes through all the places where Dick could be, dinners where they had eaten, shops, even look at Dick's damn favorite mall but can't find him anywhere. Jason feels that he is running out of time, the lump in his throat feels stronger and he has to swallow hard to try to control his fear. He knows that Dick is fine, he has to be fine. Dick just needed to get fresh air and be away from the manor for a few hours. He knows that Dick can take care of himself and although he might seem more "vulnerable" in his current state, he really isn't, at all. Dick is an adult and can take care of himself for a few hours, right? Jason tells himself that while he goes through the streets one last time, the night has come and it's harder to see the city clearly, but that doesn't stop him. He feels his phone buzz and stops to park the motorcycle for a moment; he sees that is the Replacement and growls.

"What?"

"Jason, I'm in the cave and I was able to hack the cameras of Dick's place, about 10 minutes ago Dick ran up to his door, he's there,"

"Shit, ok." Jason doesn't lose a second and starts his motorcycle, almost flying towards Dick's apartment. He hears more voices and when he’s about to hang up he hears the demon spawn.

"Todd, you better bring Grayson unharmed, since you were incompetent to find him on your own,"

"Whatever you say demon, I don't have time to listen to a spoiled child!" Jason hangs up and parks the motorcycle, in seconds he runs towards the apartment for the second time this afternoon, climbs the floors in record time and doesn’t stop to knock on the door. When he is about to force the lock again, he notices that the door was not locked at all, a shiver passes through his spine and he goes through the door, it's dark inside.

"Dick?" Jason frowns and looks for the lighter, finds it after a moment, and turns on the light. Quickly he observes everything and then stops dead when looking at the table in the living room, there are things thrown away and the lamp is broken on the floor. Jason curses and heads to the rooms, searching almost fearfully. He finds a jacket and shirt lying on the floor.

"Dick? Is everything okay?" He sees the light on in the bathroom and with shaking hands push the door open. The scene in front of his eyes freezes him for a moment. He stays like an idiot watching, frozen with fear. But his brain soon shouts at him to react. “Fuck! Dick! What did you do?" He immediately drops to Dick's side. Dick, who is sitting on the floor, his hands are full of blood, there are crystals everywhere, and worst of all, some feathers are scattered on the floor. Dick doesn't even react to Jason's voice; in his hand, he squeezes the scissors tightly. "Dick! What the fuck did you do? Look at me!" With force he grabs both shoulders and shakes him, trying to get him out of the trance he seems to have. His skin is cold to the touch. Jason can feel him shaking. A few minutes pass and Dick remains the same, Jason can't clearly see his face, his hair is a mess, wavy strands cover his beautiful eyes. "Dickie?" Jason decides to change strategy and softens his voice, almost whispering. He starts talking to him softly, and after a moment Dick finally reacts. Finally, he lifts his face and watches Jason, biting his lip. Jason slowly pulls the strands of hair away and places them behind his ear. And the simple image of his face breaks his heart. Dick has red, swollen eyes, from crying. His eyes seem empty, without his usual glow. He gently caresses his cheek, and Dick closes his eyes at the contact. "Hey, are you with me?"

Dick nods slowly. Jason takes that as a win and slowly pulls his hand away, but Dick takes his hand, not wanting him to go.

"Tell me what happened," Jason whispers, squeezing Dick's hand gently. When he looks down, he observes in horror a deep cut in Dick's hand, that's where all the blood came from. He sees the first-aid kit to his right and looks at Dick, who slowly watches him back. “Can I check your hands? You're bleeding," Dick nods again and Jason rushes for disinfectant, gazes, and a bandage to cover the wound. Gently, he takes Dick's hand and starts cleaning his fingers, he finds some cuts and once disinfected and cleaned, he places a small bandage, his right hand has the knuckles injured, and so he cleans some blood and put an ointment. His other hand seems to be fine, he carefully cleans all the blood too; Jason gently removes the scissors that Dick still held tightly."What happened?" Dick looks up from his hands and swallows, he seems to be more awake than a few minutes ago. Jason holds his hands slowly again and that seems to be the right thing to do because Dick lets out a groan.

"I can't..." Dick clears his throat; Jason waits patiently, analyzing his face. “I-I can't do this anymore, I'm tired of pretending everything is fine. I'm not fine," Jason is not the best to have this conversation with Dick, he doesn’t carry his heart on his sleeve as Dick does, he doesn’t know how to express what he feels or give good advice, he is not good with words; but right here, holding Dick and watching him in the eyes, _he feels like he can try_. "I needed to get out of the manor, take a breath, I feel like I was locked in a cage," Dick continues after a moment, biting his lip again. "I really had hope Jay, I was sure that the wings will disappear by themselves, but every day... every day they weigh more," Tears start coming out of his baby blues and Jason feels his heart hurts. He wasn't ready to see him cry, not today, not ever again, _honestly_. “A-and, it's silly to feel so bad just for having wings, don't you think? It's not the end of the world, I mean... I'm alive, healthy, I have you guys. Worse things have happened to us, we have had real tragedies, this is nonsense!”

"This is not nonsense" Jason clears his throat, Dick watches him with eyes full of tears, which continue to fall down his beautiful face. “This is not to be taken lightly. It is a spell, and we are talking about black magic. This is serious; it changed your life, okay? You have every right to feel this way,”

"And everything was fine, I was getting better," Dick continues, whispering. “I was having better days. But I feel incomplete, it's not me if I'm not in the streets, flying, jumping,” Dick releases a sob and Jason freezes, he doesn’t know what to do, what to say. "And now maybe I'll never be Nightwing again, who am I if I'm not him?" Dick begins to sob harder and Jason brings him closer to his chest, hugging him, then Dick hugs him back, releasing more sobs as he hides his face in Jason's throat. Dick starts to shake and his wings move every time he cries. Jason takes that opportunity to check his wings and lets out a sigh when he sees that there is nothing out of the ordinary, there are no wounds, and there are no cut wings. There are only blood stains but Jason realizes that the blood came from Goldie's hands. There are just some bent wings but there is nothing serious. The simple fact leaves him calmer, knowing that Dick did not commit anything foolish. And that he arrived just in time to prevent what could have been a fatal incident. Slowly he places his hands on Dick's hips, giving a gentle squeeze. Dick gets closer to him, sobbing hard. They stay like this for a long time, Jason in a moment moves his body slowly, moving them both in a soft "dance" It feels like when you lull someone. Time doesn’t seem to exist, it feels as if the rest of the world could disappear and Jason wouldn't notice. His only attention is in the blue-eyed in his arms. After what seems like an eternity, Dick stops shaking, his sobs stopped a while ago, and Jason slowly separates from him. Delicately he brings his hand back and pulls strands of messy hair. Dick's face is a mess, but he looks so much calmer.

"What do you think if we get up from the cold floor and go to your bed, sounds good?" Dick nods and Jason gets up, holds Dick and helps him up, quickly shakes some glasses and feathers from his clothes, and delicately helps him get to his room. Dick changes his clothes to his usual and comfortable pajamas. He undoes the bed and lies on his back, releasing a small groan. Jason approaches and places the blankets on his body, covering him almost to his chin. Dick lets out a sigh and then closes his eyes. Jason is about to walk out but a hand comes out from between the blankets and takes his wrist.

"_Don’t go,_” Jason swallows hard at that pleading tone, Dick had never sounded so vulnerable in his presence before. This was a side he had never seen before. He didn't even think it existed in the first place. 

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm just going to pick up the mess in the bathroom, it won't take long, okay?"

"You promise?"

"Sure thing Dickie, I'll be right back." Jason runs a hand over his face once he reaches the bathroom. The fear and stress of just a few hours feel on his shoulders. He rushes for a broom and begins to collect the pieces of glass from the floor, putting them in the basket; he cleans the little blood on the floor and collects some feathers. He accommodates everything back to the first-aid kit and put it in the sink, he watches the scissors lying on the floor, and then he throws them in the trash. Quickly washes his hands and wet his face, he looks at the broken mirror and frowns. Jason goes to the kitchen for a glass of water and checks that everything is in order, he picks up the lamp and collects the few crystals on the floor, picking up some things that had fallen, he feels his phone buzz and realizes that there are some missed calls, f_uck_.

"Jason! I was worried sick, I was about to call Bruce and tell him to go to...”

“Everything fine. There's no need for that,” Jason answers right away.

"Is Dick okay?" Tim asks, concern evident in his voice.

"He will be, but yeah, he’s fine," Tim lets out a sigh; voices can be heard in the background.

"Damian was about to take the car himself and drive there."

"Tell the demon spawn that no, Dick is fine, we will spend the night here in his apartment and then I will take him to the manor if he wants to,"

“Ok, it sounds good; please call if something happens, ok? Don't scare us like that again”

"Yeah, yeah Replacement, stop being a mother hen,"

"Hey!" Tim says quite offended. "I'm not like that, Dick is the mother hen!"

"Whatever." Jason hangs up and returns to the room. Dick has his eyes closed, but as soon as Jason places the glass of water on the nightstand, the blue-eyed opens his eyes, watching him closely. Jason takes off his jacket and shoes, throwing them around the room, and he looks for something to sit on.

"Lie down here, the bed is huge" Dick whispers. Jason stands still for a few seconds, considering the idea. _What could go wrong? _

"_Hell_, okay" He climbs on the other side and lets out a breath without being able to avoid it; the bed is indeed huge and warm. But Jason is still uncomfortable; he stays as far away from Dick as he can. “Let me make this clear: I am not going to cuddle with you Dickie, if you even touch me in the night, I will not hesitate to throw your sorry ass to the floor, understood?" Dick smirks and nods slightly. Jason sits better and places both hands behind his neck, watching the ceiling. They spend a few minutes in silence and he feels that Goldie maybe fell asleep, but then he hears his sweet voice.

"I wasn't going to do it, I wouldn't dare," It takes Jason a moment to understand what he means, and then he turns his face, watching Dick. He waits for the older to continue talking. “I was about to cut them… but I didn't find the courage to do it. Somehow, these wings came to me, and now they are part of me, I guess,”

"They are," Jason says. Dick looks him in the eyes.

“I panicked, you know? Something like that had never happened to me; I needed to get everything out,” Dick passes a hand over his face; Jason can see the bandage he made. "I needed to scream and cry, break something,"

"That usually works," Jason says and Dick nods, the atmosphere feels relaxed, much more than a few hours ago. Dick closes his eyes again and when Jason feels he finally fell asleep, Goldie moves again. "Can't you sleep?" Jason whispers.

"No,"

"Just close your eyes and count sheep’s"

"That doesn’t work! It is a fraud, and honestly, it would be better if there where elephants and not sheeps," Jason chuckles, _of course_, Dickie would prefer elephants. A few minutes of silence pass and then Jason turns around, turning on his side on the bed, facing Dick. Goldie releases a noise of exasperation and lowers the blankets that covered him to the chin, leaving them by his chest. Jason can now see Dick's right-wing, he doubts for a moment, but then he approaches his hand. Dick jumps a little to the contact but immediately relaxes. Jason starts stroking the inside of Goldie's wing, running his hand gently.

"Did you know that a bird must trust you a lot that it lets you touch the inside of its wings?" Goldie whispers after a few minutes.

"Really?" Jason feels his pulse racing. 

"Timmy did a thorough investigation, he explained everything about the wings, and we discovered that,"

"_Oh,_" _Does that mean Dick trust him? Why? _

Jason continues his caresses, feeling the moment much more intimate than a moment ago. When he hears a soft sigh he directs his attention to Goldie's face and finds him snoring softly. Jason lets out his own sigh, finally. But he does not move his hand away; he continues to give gentle movements on the wing. Slowly he lies on the bed and after a while moves his hand away. He can hear Goldie's soft breathing and that gives him quite peace of mind. Although the room is dark, he can distinguish Goldie's face quite well, he stays for hours like this, watching him sleep. Until fatigue makes him close his eyes, and Dick's soft noises lull him to sleep.


	11. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason and Dick’s POV ;)

Jason wakes up for something hitting him in the face, he opens his eyes ready to attack whoever that has disturbed his dreams, but then he feels a warm hand go through his face. He feels soft blankets touching his body and a warm and cozy bed underneath him. The memories of the previous night come to his mind and he immediately recognizes Dick's bedroom. Jason watches carefully the colorful room and then he directs his attention to the other occupant of the bed, he realizes that Goldie is upside down, still snoring softly. His mouth is slightly open and he has a rather ridiculous but cute expression. Jason moves a little and feels Goldie's hand again, who surely in his dream moved it and ended up on his face. Goldie’s wings stand out against his pajamas and Jason checks them again, noticing that they are still stained with blood and that he didn’t think of cleaning them last night. Gently, he takes Dick's warm hand and pulls it away from his face, leaving it on the mattress. He stays there for a little while, watching Dick's face, he doesn’t have the opportunity to observe him every day, with no one to judge him, try to kill him, or just look at him badly. And it's not like Dick is still, he's always moving, it's nice for a moment to be able to contemplate his features, now quite different. And the change is not a bad one, just a different one. Dick has always had good genes, but now? Damn, even sleeping he seems like a supermodel ready for a photo-shoot. Goldie moves and Jason immediately moves away, he slowly sits on the bed trying not to make much movement and stands up quietly.

"Jay?" _Or so he believed._

"I’m here Dickie," Jason watches Goldie as he passes a hand over his face, pushing away the sleep, then getting on the edge of the bed stretching, the wings also stretch and Jason raises his eyebrow. The scene looks unreal, he still can't get used to literally seeing an angel in front of his eyes. Goldie yawns and finally look into his eyes.

"You were leaving?"

"No, I was going to make breakfast, but I'm sure you don't have shit here to cook,"

"Hey!" Dick frowns. "Don't insult my place, okay?"

"I just insulted your lack of food... and lack of adulthood,"

"Hey!" Jason smirks and quickly puts on his shoes and jacket, then goes to the small kitchen. There is indeed no crap to cook here; he mentally makes a list of what he needs to make a homemade pizza. He hears Goldie's footsteps and he appears, in seconds he sits on the kitchen counter and watches him with a charmingly smile.

"Well? What will you cook for me, chef?”

"First, get off the fucken counter," Jason wrinkles his forehead.

"Jay, this is my place, why are you acting all bossy?" Dick lifts an eyebrow at him 

"I'm not bossy," Dick ignores him and doesn’t move, he tries to straighten his messy hair and slowly moves his wings, placing them around him to cover himself.

"Cold?" Jason asks as he pretends to check the kitchen shelves, looking for the utensils to prepare the pizza.

"Yup, I leave all my cut t-shirts in the manor” Jason nods and when he observes that there’s almost everything he needs, he takes his wallet and phone.

"I'll go to the store, pizza sounds good?" Dick's eyes literally light up, he watches him with a huge smile and nods. “I won't be long, okay? Don’t move from there,”

"Yes, sir!" Dick makes a soldier gesture and releases his typical insufferable smile. Jason turns his eyes but internally he is glad to see Goldie in his usual mood, considering how he found him last night. Jason is about to say something when a knock at the door interrupts him.

"I bet the Demon Spawn can't be more than 10 meters away from you," Jason says, rolling his eyes again. Slowly he goes to the door and opens it, ready to insult Damian when he freezes right there, watching Bruce fucking Wayne standing right there.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Bruce frowns at him.

“Yeah, good morning Jason. I come to see Dick.” Bruce answers remarkably awkwardly, Jason ignores that it is the first time that Bruce answers sarcastically to him.

"So now you come to see him when all the fucking month you were ignoring him, amazing," Jason says, crossing both arms over his chest.

"I know," Bruce answers calmly, he doesn't want to fight. The two remain watching in an intense duel of looks until Jason releases a sigh. He knows Bruce wouldn't have come here if he really didn't want to fix things with Dick, and at the same time, Jason wants to be the barrier between him and Dick. He knows how Bruce can make you feel like shit with just one look. And he doesn't want to put Goldie in more stress, yesterday is another proof of his mental state; he needs to protect him from everything and everyone. But he also knows that he is different with the Golden Boy, Bruce loves his first Robin, more than anyone fucking else. 

"Ok, fine. I only warn you that he is very emotional, ok? Don’t fuck it up!” Bruce nods and Jason moves away from the door, slowly walking to the kitchen. Dick is still sitting on the counter and when he turns to see him the smile he had disappeared, he watches Bruce with his eyes wide open.

"Bruce? What are you doing here?” Dick asks holding his hands in his lap, nervous.

"I came to talk," Bruce starts, and he looks quite uncomfortable too. Jason can feel the tension in the air and doesn't know what to do. He directs his attention to Goldie and gives him a confident look.

"I'll go to the store... unless you want me to stay, Dickiebird?"

"No... It’s okay, go," Jason analyses his face, looking if he’s lying, but Goldie gives him a reassuring smile and he takes that as his signal to leave. He turns around, gives Bruce a warning look, and then quickly leaves.

_____________

Dick hears the door closing and that brings him back to reality. Bruce stands there without moving. For a moment he feels that it will be like this all the conversation, without saying anything at all. Talking with Bruce this month has been like talking to a wall, Dick doesn't understand why he feels so nervous talking to his mentor. Nobody says anything yet and Dick swallows, the silence makes him sick.

"Coffee?" Dick isn't even sure if his coffee machine is working right now, but it's better than being in such an awkward silence.

"No, thank you." Bruce clears his throat, looks him in the eyes, and then he is long analyzed, Dick feels like a child again. "Look, Dick, I came here to... to apologize," Dick blinks repeatedly, looking at Bruce surprised.

"What? You?" Bruce clenches his jaw and steps forward, approaching Dick.

"I know that this month I have been very distant and that I have been very involved with finding the sorceress, so much that I have not given you the attention you need."

"I don't need your attention" Dick growls, offended. “I don't need you to read me to sleep or lull me at night” Dick stands up; spreading both wings at the same time he crosses his arms, furious. Bruce watches him closely, directing his attention to his bandaged hand and then returning to his eyes. "I don't need you to be with me every second of the day, damn, I just needed my father to tell me that everything would be fine!" Dick raises his voice. "I just wanted to know if you are mad at me or why it seems like you're avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you," Bruce answers and Dick lets out a bitter laugh.

"It doesn’t seem? Well, let me tell you that I have felt that way all month!” Dick does not realize that he is releasing tears until he feels wetness on his face. He curses, feeling humiliated and angry at himself, for being so weak. “Do you know how I felt all this month? exhausted, sad, trapped... I felt that the sorceress instead of giving me these wings have taken a part of me, my freedom!” Dick screams, releasing more tears. “I felt caged, without patrolling at night, I couldn't even go for a walk, nothing. Do you know how difficult it has been for me?” Bruce looks at him closely and before Dick can say anything else, two massive arms squeeze him tightly. Dick remains completely still, almost without breathing. Bruce is hugging him... hugging, him? Dick doesn't doubt it for a second and returns the awkward hug, releasing a sob. He starts to release more tears and feels so stupid to break like this, he can see how Bruce's shirt is wetting with his salty tears and that makes him release another sob. "I'm sorry" Dick lets loose in tears. "I know I'm being weak... b-but..."

"Hey," Bruce says squeezing him harder. "Don't, chum." Dick closes his eyes and just enjoys this little moment, he doesn't remember when it was the last time he could hug his mentor in this way, feeling safe. "You don’t have to apologize" Bruce continues after a moment. “I am the one who must do it. I was ignoring what you might be feeling, I didn’t ask you. I was so focused on finding her, making her pay and getting you back to normal,” Bruce says the last almost with a grunt. "I didn’t take into consideration how you were feeling." Bruce moves away from him a little still hugging him and looks him. “You are not weak for feeling this way; you are one of the strongest persons I know. You have faced so many things, and this is just one more. You haven't stopped fighting, ok?” Dick nods slowly, releasing more tears. Bruce slowly removes them with his thumb, releasing a sigh.

“I'm sorry I didn't give you the support you needed. Now I see it. I'm trying, okay?”

"Okay," Dick answers whispering, he knows it, _he knows it. _They stay a few more minutes like that, Dick feels much calmer, the weight of his shoulders no longer weighs as before.

"So... aren't you mad at me?" Dick asks.

“_Never_. How could I get angry at something that isn't your fault at all? I was just... worried. That night, the way everything happened.” Bruce shakes his head. “It was too much. I didn't want to see you like that never again, I needed to find a solution, find her and demand that she undo the spell. But I could never be mad at you for that.” Dick lets out a sigh that he didn't know he was keeping. They spend a few minutes of total silence, but they don't feel heavy like a while ago, on the contrary. Slowly Bruce separates but doesn't step away completely, he stays right by his side, both leaning on the countertop.

"Have you found anything about her?" Dick asks slowly, Bruce shakes his head, remarkably angry.

"No. I have gathered sorcerers, metas, and I haven't found a single trace of her. It's as if she never existed.”

"That sucks," Dick says, looking down.

"But we won't stop looking, ok?" Bruce says squeezing his shoulder. "I promised you I would find her, and I will do that." Dick nods, finally releasing a true smile. Bruce returns it slowly. He knows that Batman never breaks a promise, never. Dick gives him one last hug, not knowing if he will have such an opportunity again. Bruce returns it awkwardly and Dick giggles.

"Thanks, Dad," The words come naturally, without being able to avoid it. Bruce stiffens for a moment but squeezes him hard in return. After a few seconds, he slowly steps away and they remain in silence for a moment. Dick looks at the cereal box and lets out a smile. "Do you want cereal or something expired like a month ago?" Bruce smirks a little shaking his head, but then he changes his face to one of more seriousness.

“Why is there blood on your wings? And what happened to your hand?”

"It's a long story," Dick says, looking at the floor.

"What happened?"

"Let's say... I almost made a mistake," Bruce watches him intently, but Dick can see the worry in his eyes. “But everything is fine now, okay? Jason was here and It won't happen again,_ I promise_. It was a stupid thing. I feel better now,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I needed this," Bruce nods not so convinced but lets it pass. But then he checks his wings just to be sure that everything is fine. Dick giggles but says nothing as he feels Bruce examine some feathers and run his hand methodologically on his back. After Bruce is totally sure that everything is fine, he pulls away.

"And the boys?" Dick asks.

"In the manor, I could barely contain Damian to come over, he wanted to come and make sure you are okay, of course, he wouldn't admit it out loud." Dick lets out a laugh at that.

"Of course not, like father like son," Bruce says nothing but he can see the fun in his eyes. They heard the door and Jason returns with a lot of bags, an expression of frustration on his face, until his eyes connect with him and then Jason's shoulders relax, his face softens for a moment, and then he put his serious expression like always, but Dick can perceive the change in seconds.

_He lets out a sweet smile._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like the new summary?  
What do you think about the story so far? I would love to know your thoughts :3  
Im really trying to make this so much interesting, with action, tears, and obviously bonding moments. I hope to make the story long ... if you like it :p


	12. Don't Give Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason POV ;)

Jason returns to the apartment a while later, not wanting to leave for a long time Goldie with the Bat, but enough for the two to fix their shit. When he opens the door he expects to hear screams and see broken things, but instead, he finds them leaning on the counter, both quite calm, he watches Dick and how his face looks much better than when he had left. Goldie gives him a sweet smile and Jason has to look away to hide the redness of his ears. He quickly throws things on the table pretending to be busy.

"Is everything in order?" Jason asks observing Goldie, who gives him a cute little smile.

"Yeah, it is," Jason nods and concentrates on ordering things to prepare the pizza, he half listens to their conversation until he hears a noise and looks up. Bruce watches him and they both look awkwardly for a moment until Goldie cools the moment.

"Thanks for coming," Dick says and Bruce looks away from Jason to direct his eyes to Goldie, he nods slightly.

“Then you will stay in the manor, right?

"Yes, I ride there later or tomorrow morning,"

"Ok," Jason raises his eyebrow as soon as he finds out about Goldie's plans, but decides not to comment on anything until the old man leaves. Goldie clearly escorts B to the door and says goodbye. Once the Bat disappears Jason releases a sigh.

"How was it?” Jason asks pretending disinterest as he rolls up the sleeves of his jacket to start cooking.

"Actually, it was okay... better than I thought," Goldie answers sitting down looking at him. "Can I help you with something?"

“Just stay there looking pretty,” Goldie rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything. Jason concentrates on his task of preparing a delicious homemade pizza, something he learned from Alfie a long long time ago. Dick looks him carefully and with that same smile. Jason tries to stop thinking about that pretty pink mouth. _Fuck_. "Could you stop putting that stupid face?" Jason says, turning his eyes a second time. Dick makes an offended noise.

"Jay, you said to me to sit here and look pretty!" Goldie says making that stupid gesture of a 5-year-old boy.

"I meant that you stay still, Jesus," Goldie says nothing but after a few minutes he puts that smile back on, Jason ignores him again and turns his back, as if he didn't exist. A few minutes go by and Goldie bothers again.

"Well, if you're going to ignore me I'll go to the couch," Jason glances sideways as Goldie slowly rises, waving his wings for a moment until he drops heavily on the couch. A moment later the sound of the TV floods the apartment. Jason can finally cook in peace. After doing the whole procedure, he puts the pizza in the oven and he also puts the timer. He cleans his hands and orders the whole kitchen mess, accommodates everything he brought from the mall and the extra things he bought for Goldie, once everything is in place and the kitchen looks aesthetically fine, Jason grabs two beers that he buy and he walks to the couch. He puts them on the center table and drops next to Goldie, who watches the TV almost asleep, Jason releases a noise.

"Well, now we wait,"

"Hmm," Goldie nods and slowly rests his head on the couch, watching the TV. Jason drinks his beer slowly, savoring the cheap beer in his mouth. Goldie stretches his hand and takes the other beer, watches it carefully, and takes a sip.

"And?" Jason asks as he puts his feet on the table, settling down.

"Hmm. It’s not bad,” Goldie gives another drink, he doesn’t say anything about his dirty boots on the table, his eyes return to the TV but he isn’t really watching it.

The silence feels uncomfortable again and Jason finishes his beer, not knowing what to say, _as always_. There's something that keeps bothering Dick, and Jason doesn't know how to try to get it out of him. It clearer that emotional issues aren’t his forte. Hell, he shouldn't even be here; he should be looking for someone to kick his ass, something, anything at all! But this last month, being all the time with Dick, damn, has affected him. Even before everything got to shit and the sorceress appeared, they were already much closer than before. Like patrolling together once in a while, Dick helping him with a case or vice versa. They had even gone out to eat, damn! Those were good times. _But now,_ the whole month that he has been close to him, all the times he has been there, watching him sleep, eating at his side, spending evenings in complete silence but full of harmony and tranquility, he can’t be away from him. Dick has that kind of magic that once you taste it you can't just walk away. Jason tried many times, he was about to leave the manor many times and leave Dick (and not leave him alone, he had a whole group of bats taking care of him 24/7), but when he watched Goldie sleeping so peacefully, trusting that Jason looked after him at night, _heck_, how was he going to leave? Jason returns to reality when Dick looks into his eyes, those eyes so blue that they seem unreal. He can read the concern in his face. He lets out a sigh; he will have to start the conversation.

"What's going in that head of yours Dickface?" Jason tries to sound normal, but his voice sounds much softer than he expects. Goldie releases a sigh too and leaves his beer almost full on the table, returns to settle on the couch now looking directly at Jason, and slowly accommodate his wings to cover his body.

"I was just thinking about what I will do now,"

"Now we'll eat pizza, genius," Jason tries to relax the moment, Dick lets out a small smile but shakes his head.

"I mean, about my life,"

"Are you giving up?" Jason asks slowly, swallowing hard, he doesn't want to touch this subject, not now. Goldie's face transforms and he shows his fear.

“Give up? No, I_ couldn’t,_” Goldie says denying. "How could I?"

"No, I don't mean that," Jason says exasperatedly. “I meant giving up on the wings. You're no longer hopeful that they will disappear?”

"I... I don't know, Little Wing," Goldie says, sounding so beaten, that just listening to him breaks his heart again. “The more time passes, the less I feel that they will simply disappear. I've given it a thousand thoughts, why me? What was her intention in giving me these wings?” Goldie closes his eyes for a moment and a few tears come out of his eyes, he doesn't even try to hide them anymore, Jason feels his heart shrinking. He knows that Dick has been very sensitive these days, he knows that it is his way of getting everything out, but he can't bear to see him that way, Dick Grayson shouldn't have that sad expression on his face, it doesn’t fit him. So Jason lets the fear of seeing him that way become anger, he feels the rage invade his brain; not anger at Dick, but towards the whole fucking world and the damn sorceress who keep stripping away that beautiful smile from his face.

“You are Nightwing; you've been kicking asses before you could reach the highest shelf in the kitchen or even before you knew how to drive. And now you tell me that you are going to let this break you? No!” Dick jumps at his angry tone. But Jason doesn't want to stop; he has to make him see. “Are you going to tell me that you are going to let this stop you? You are Dick Grayson! Damn it, you're not a coward, nor a weak-ass, you're Dick Fucking Grayson, a pain in the ass that never gives up until he achieves what he wants,” Jason stamps his fist on the table. “You are not going to let a whore sorceress take that away from you, do you understand? I will not allow it,” Dick looks at him with his eyes wide open and rushes to hug him tightly, burying his face in his neck. Jason swallows but slowly returns the hug, releasing air little by little trying to control his anger, but it disappears immediately when he feels a few drops fall on his chest. Fury and anger vanish in seconds and transform into warmth. He squeezes Goldie tightly in his arms, trying to express everything he feels. After a few minutes, Goldie separates and watches him nodding; Jason takes away some tears from his pink cheeks without being able to avoid it.

"You're right," Goldie says with another sigh, his wet face being the same as ever, with that security and fire in his eyes. Intense fire, burning. A few minutes of silence pass and Jason feels much calmer having made his point clear and Goldie also looks much better. Dick bites his lip and looks sideways at the wings, running his hand gently over the white feathers. An expression of love passes through his face. “You are right, everyone is right, I haven’t accepted them. I have been defeated by this, every day I have simply wanted to take something sharp and cut them, I have wanted to go back time and never have gone to that warehouse, so many things I would like to change, all to stop seeing them. But, they came to me for a reason, right?” Goldie looks up and Jason nods. "They are part of me, made of my own blood, they are mine,"

"Yours,” Jason comments foolishly, not knowing what else to say, but he’s happy that Dick is finally starting to see things from his point of view.

"And if I'm going to spend all my life with them... _well_, at least I must accept them, right?" Goldie giggles and then a look of determination goes through his face. "And besides, besides... it doesn't mean I have to give up everything, I can still do what I love." Jason watches Dick closely, as he says that with hope. Jason is happy to see him like this again, that his words achieved the desired effect. Just then the timer sounds and Jason gets up and walks slowly towards the kitchen, passes a hand over his face, and takes out the pizza, perfectly baked. He puts the last things and puts what he knows Dick likes. Once he has everything in order, he returns to the living room with his hands full, Dick keeps watching his wings and when he looks up and looks at Jason with a smile, he can't help returning it with the same intensity. It is a smile that says many things; they don't need to say anything else. He puts the things on the table and passes his plate to Goldie, who passes his tongue through his mouth savoring the incredible smell. Jason takes his plate and sits back on the couch, they both eat in silence, well, Jason savoring the amazing pizza in silence while Goldie releases "_hmm_" "_wow_" while happily eating his pizza. When they both finish, they stay there for a while, Jason brings another beer while Goldie is drinking still the same. The silence is calm and much more relaxed than a few minutes ago. Goldie lifts his bottle and watches Jason.

"What?" Jason raises his eyebrow at the sight of Dick's smile.

"Let's have a toast,"

"A toast? Why?" Goldie grins again and lifts his shoulders.

"Because I'm going to be Nightwing again," Goldie slams his beer with his while Jason stays comically still, almost without blinking. Dick drinks his beer.

"What?" Jason can't help the surprise in his voice.

"Yes, I will not let this stop me from doing what I love, I will find a way, adapt, I don’t know, I'll figure out something, but I can’t spend a single moment like this, you said it yourself Jay, I will not let this break me”. Jason feels his heart beating fast in his chest at the determination in Dick's voice; there is no doubt in his face that he will put his heart and soul into being Nightwing again. After a few seconds of silence, Jason nods and gives his beer one last drink, giving Dick a small smile.

"Okay, _what's next Pretty Bird?_"


	13. The Dynamic Duo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Damian share a serious conversation and have a brotherly moment. 
> 
> PD: I don't know much about gymnastics, sorry it doesn't sound so professional :o

“Richard!”

“Ouch,” Dick closes his eyes as he falls backwards against the mats of the training room in the manor. He feels his head spinning and when he slowly opens his eyes he sees the face of a 13-year-old boy looking at him intensely.

“Hi,” Dick says with a cheeky grin.

“Idiot, I told you not to fall.” Damian rolls his eyes but at the same time lets out a small sigh.

“Don't worry Little D, I'm fine,”

“Tt.” Damian puts that annoyed gaze again but Dick could still see the fondness underneath that façade. Damian extends his hand and slowly Dick takes it, he sits down letting out a groan. He moves both shoulders slowly and turns to see his back making sure that the wings are fine; he carefully moves them too releasing a nervous laugh.

“Everything's okay. See?” Damian rolls his eyes again but anyways he analyzes his back and passes his gaze methodologically through his wings. He passes his hand and carefully touches a bent feather; Dick feels the touch slightly and approaches his hand, looking for the feather, he carefully plucks it and examines it under Damian's thoughtful eye. “Well, except for this, I’m okay,” Dick says spinning the feather in his fingers and then bringing it close to Damian's face and running it across his little brother's wrinkled forehead; who immediately tries to remove his hand but without putting much effort.

“Grayson!” Damian says trying to hide his red ears and Dick smiles even more. He puts the feather in Damian's hand and he watches it for a few seconds, then Damian put it inside the pocket of his hoodie. The action pulls another smile from him and slowly he places his hand on Damian's hair slightly messing it up.

“Thanks for offering to train with me Little D,”

“Whatever, someone needed to supervise that you don't injure yourself again and that you recover your strength and agility, you also need to recover your muscular mass, from what I see,” Damian says with a growl but doesn't take his hand away. Dick lets out a laugh nodding, because it's true, in these months that have passed since the encounter with the sorceress, what has changed the most is his body. He is still trying to get used to his new metabolism, and the fact that he is really very light, so light that even Damian could possibly carry him. But with the diet that Alfred created for him at least, he has not completely lost his toned body, luckily. That is why now he was barely allowed to train, finally after all this time. And clearly everyone thinks he should be monitored at all times. Because when he tried to train alone a while ago, well... it didn’t go as he expected. It was as if his body responded completely differently, the wings were a new weight and it turned out to be quite different to try to move as before, that is why that time he end up with a bent ankle and a bruise on the ribs. So now there is always someone watching his movements and that he doesn’t do anything to “drastic” that makes him lose his balance. Damn, when did he have to worry about his balance before? _Certainly never. _And well, he can't really complain, these moments with his brothers are the ones that allow him to continue feeling safe and happy, it helps a lot.

“Yeah, I need to rebuild my condition,” Dick lets out a sigh watching the bar where he fell.

“Don't despair, Grayson. You'll see that in no time you will have your own rhythm again, you just need more training and concentration,”

“I know Dami, it's just that it's so strange for me not to be able to recover my balance, it's hard for me to don’t do things that were so simple before. Some time ago I didn’t have to worry about this… It was like breathing to me, so natural. And now it's totally different with the wings; they don't allow me to have the same agility as before... _ugh_,” Dick lets out a growl, closing his eyes for a moment, Damian sits in front of him and looks into his eyes.

“I have seen improvement if it helps. You just need to reconstruct your movements and techniques, learn to move with the wings. It's a matter of adaptation.” Damian says quite sure, and Dick nods.

“Yeah, you're right,” Dick gently scratches his chin. “It's just a matter of time, I need to find my balance and when I do I will be able to patrol again,”

“What?” He hears the surprise in Damian's voice as he walks back to the horizontal bars; a complete gym with everything an acrobat needs, what he needs right now, his little castle, where he feels closer to home and his parents.  
Slowly he puts a little powder on both hands, returns to the bars and climbs, releasing several breaths to calm his breathing, Damian watches him from below with his arms crossed.

“Grayson, what do you mean by 'patrolling again'?” Dick releases another sigh as he extends his hands and grips the bars tightly.

“I can't stay another night waiting here Dami, I need to go back, I need to be Nightwing again, and I can't just quit,” Dick begins to make a few simple spins, moving his body and trying to adapt to the weight of the wings, he decides to stop paying attention to them and simply enjoys the movement, feeling how the bars tremble with each movement he makes. He stands up putting all his strength on both arms to hold his entire body upside down. Hell, how he missed this.

“And you expect to go out with your big wings and let everyone see you?”

“I don't know Dami, I'll figure out something,” Dick says releasing small breaths.

“Tt. And what do you expect to do Grayson, cover them with a huge sheet?” Dick rolls his eyes and releases a noise. He quickly begins to make full spins trying to concentrate on the movement and not on Damian's voice. He knows that Damian isn’t trying to make him feel bad or sound like a little bastard, but that is his way of expressing his concern. In a moment, he holds with one hand, changing the movement and then back upside down. Dick feels small drops of sweat dropping towards the floor, he takes a deeper breath.

“Of course not, but I have to find a way to get my life back,”

“And this is not life?” Dick frozen for a moment, he looks for Damian's gaze and he can read the uncertainty in his brother's eyes. He immediately starts connecting the dots and understands why Damian is asking all this. When he tries to make a final spin and let go with his usual grace, his wing gets in the way and that makes him lose concentration and balance, causing him to fall for the second time on this day. Dick moves to avoid falling back on his wings and he quickly shakes them trying to slow down the fall. That seems to be the right thing because at least he manages to fall on his butt instead of his wings. He lets out a small whimper though and Damian approaches immediately.

“Grayson...”

“I'm okay,” Damian stares at him closely to see if he’s lying and once he gives him a small smile Damian calms down noticeably. With his hand, he pats the mat and he immediately follows, sitting next to him. Dick calms his racing heart with slow breaths, thinking his next words.

“Dami,”

“Grayson” Damian answers in the same way, wrinkling his face.

“What's bothering you?” Dick decides to ask directly, Damian moves awkwardly.

“Nothing. Why would I be?”

“Are you worried that I may get hurt if I patrol again?” Dick asks placing both hands on his lap and seriously watching Damian, who looks back at him just as seriously.

“Tt. Don't say such things, I’m not,”

“There's nothing wrong with admitting that you care about someone Little D,” Dick says with a comforting smile. “I worry about you all the time, especially when I can't be out there and watch your backs myself.”

“Is that why you want to patrol again? To look after us?” Damian changes the subject and Dick sighs.

“Is a reason, yeah? But not the most important, you are very capable of taking care of yourself. Dami, I need to get out. I'm not myself if I'm not flying,” Dick says with a sad smile. “I haven't felt complete without being Nightwing.”

“I get it,” Damian says after a moment. “But how will you go out again? Don't you think you're safer here in the manor while we find the sorceress?”

“Dami, I can't stay here without doing anything, not doing anything when I may never be the same again.”

“Did you lose hope in returning back to normal?”

“Hey, it's not that bad,” Dick says with a smile, watching his wings slowly. “I can say that I began to get fond of them. I just need more time to adapt and fight with them, but I can do it. I can be the same again, only with feathers.” Damian releases a small smile and then looks at him again.

“But you have not been able to adapt your acrobatic movements with the wings, it is hard for you to control them while moving and jumping. That on the battlefield could be deadly.”

“That's why we are here, right? I won't stop training until I can completely master them and adapt to move as before, but I can do it Little D, you shouldn't worry about me.”

“I don't, it's just that I would find it a bit problematic to think that you could get hurt, you or the wings,” Damian says honestly and Dick feels warmth running through his heart.

“Hey,” Dick says softly approaching Damian, puts an arm around his little body, and squeezes it gently, Damian stays tense for a moment but then he relaxes against the half-hug. “Don't worry, I won't go out there alone, I can patrol with you for a while until I get used to it completely, I'll take care of myself much more than before, I'll take precautions and set limits for now, okay?” He feels Damian nod at his side and smiles, bringing his head close to Damian's. They stay like that for a moment, enjoying the warm moment. Dick places a small kiss on Damian's forehead and immediately the kid with his hand pulls his face away.

“Ugh, Grayson! None of that kind of affection! Get off!” Damian says getting out of his arms, pushing him gently but with a funny expression. Dick giggles but says nothing, letting his little brother move. But Damian doesn’t move away completely, he sits again beside him. There is the huge proof of his change over the years, the Damian from before wouldn’t have allowed any of this, not even a little touch on the shoulder, the Damian from before would not have said his fears for fear of sounding weak, so many things have changed and Dick is happy to appreciate the change, to be part of his transformation and how Damian allows him to see that part only to him. After a moment, Damian slowly approaches his hand. “May l?” Dick takes a moment to understand what Damian means and then nods quite impressed. Damian brings his hand to his wings and then Dick feels chills go through his back, Damian's little fingers first touch his feathers shyly, but then a soft caress arrives and Dick releases a rather pleased noise. They spend a few minutes like this, Damian passed his small hands through his feathers, caressing and giving soft touches. It is the first time Damian had touched his wings, and Dick cannot hide his love for the child, the tenderness of the moment. Some more time passes and then Damian pulls his hand away, his ears red. “If you tell someone about this...”

“Don't worry Dami, my lips are sealed.” Silence comes a moment and they both stay that way, a few minutes pass until Damian speaks slowly.

“And what will you do with the wings?” Damian asks seriously.

“I don't know, I was thinking... on, cover them?”

“With what, exactly?”

“I don't know, maybe design a kind of... thing,” Dick says scratching his head. “Something that covers them, I'm still thinking about that.”

“And you couldn't just go out with them?”

“I've thought about it a lot, and it could be a possibility, but I don't know how the world would take it, I mean... they'll think I'm a meta or something, or a weirdo, surely.”

“They would be impressed,” Damian says for sure. “You should not be ashamed of them, they look good on you.”

“Thanks, Little D,” Dick says biting his lip. “It's just… I still don't know if I'm ready to be seen like this. I mean, my identity is secret, people would only see a Nightwing with wings, and I don't know what they would think, but those who know my identity... ” Dick swallows. “I don't know if I'm ready to be seen this way, the questions they will make, everything, I don't know.”

“It does not matter at all the opinion of these people, it is irrelevant,” Damian says almost with a grunt. “They don't know the true story; they don't know you at all. Their little minds won't be able to understand what they will see, they'll stay with their mouths open and talk about you, good things and bad things, but what they say doesn't deserve your attention.” Dick nods and watches his brother proudly.

“You're right. But I still have time to decide how my magnificent return will be.”

“And... Did you already tell father?” Damian asks and Dick denies.

“No, I haven't found the moment. I've just talked that with Jay. Anyway, I'm not ready to go out just yet, I need to feel 100%, and even then, I don't need to ask for permission.”  
“Very well Richard, if that's what you feel right, you have my support, whatever father says,"

"Thanks, kiddo," Dick stands up and stretches both wings, putting his hands on his hip.

“Well, ready to keep training?" Damian stands up with an expression of superiority.

“I was born ready,”

“Whatever you say,” Dick says smiling. “I’m ready to kick your ass,”

“You can try,”

“You asked for it kiddo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I never have imagined that this would have so many hits, kudos or comments. To me is amazing to read and see that you are enjoying this story. At first, I was just gonna write this for me, but then I say, "why not?" and I decide to publish this and honestly thought that this would have a few reads and that would be good for me, but this? wow, thank you much! 
> 
> I warn you that things are about to change :) for now, everything is calm and cute. But honestly, as much as I enjoy to write cute moments, also I like to write some pain and hurt.


	14. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason speaks seriously with Dick.

Jason arrives at the manor one night, dragging his feet heavily like bricks. He throws his cigarette on the sidewalk. It was a busy night, taking the shit out of some thugs drain almost all his energy. Lately, he was being more aggressive than usual, leaving a little more damage, all to satiate his anger. But just thinking of the disappointed face that Dick would do if he saw everything his hands do… damn, that keeps him in line. Oh, and of course the Batman breathing in his fucking neck with his no-kill rule, fuck that. Jason knows that it is already a habit to be here and the mere thought of it makes him clench his fists and he wishes to go back to the dirty streets of Gotham and finish what his bloody hands started. But when he reaches the hall and opens the gym door, and finds Dickiebird practically asleep on the mat makes him smile and remember why he is here. Dick has been exhausted himself every day, training almost tirelessly until he is drained like now, falling asleep on the mats. Jason rolls his eyes, and at the same time, he is glad to see Dick so committed to his goal after the little chat they have. But that has also kept him a little worried. The mere idea of Dick going back out there, fighting against Gotham's darkness makes him see green. The mere idea that he could get hurt would make him want to burn the entire city. But Dick is a stupid stubborn, who will not change his mind for anything in the world. There is nothing left but to make sure Goldie regains his same condition, and clearly watch his back as much as he can. When Jason is about to enter the room he feels someone's gaze and finds the demon holding two bottles of water.

“Todd,” Damian says with his usual charming voice (ha, ha, ha, sarcasm) and Jason growls.

“Demon,”

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” They ask at the same time.

“I was training with Grayson, I left a moment and now I see that he has fallen asleep,”

“Shouldn't you be patrolling?” Jason asks with a mocking smile as he leans on the door.

“Tt. It's none of your business,” Damian says, crossing both arms.

“Have you preferred to be here training with Goldie than doing your duty as Robin? Wow,”

“Shut up Todd, I'm the only one who can help train Grayson to regain his agility; he doesn't need people like you to be bothering here,”

“Jealous, Baby Bird?” Jason says comically.

“I prefer to be dead before being jealous of failure like you,”

“_Huh_, someone definitely is not in a good mood. Come on demon, what made you so angry now? That you still can't reach the kitchen shelf?” Before Jason would have tried to kill the little bastard for comments like that, now... he has a lot of fun making the kid angry and seeing his reactions. Damian immediately tries to kick him but Jason moves away from the punch, raising both arms. “I didn't come to fight with a stupid child, tell me why you're so upset; it has anything to do with Goldie?” Damian immediately shows a little of his concern and is all Jason needs to know what's bothering the child. “Are you worried that Goldie will get hurt if he returns to patrol?” Jason asks raising an eyebrow. Damian releases a noise of exasperation.

“I'm not worried about anyone.” He says crossing his arms, wrinkling his forehead.

“No, of course not,” Jason says ironically, and then releases a sigh. “And I couldn't blame you for it; I'm not totally comfortable with Goldie going out there by himself. He needs supervision, for now,”

“Tt. Of course, he won't be alone,”

“And what will happen when Goldie wants to return to Blüdhaven? You don't expect him to stay in Gotham forever,”

“No, but Grayson assures me that in the time he regains his agility he will stay here with us, patrolling together,”

“And when he regains his condition? What?” Jason says releasing some of the anxiety he feels.

“By that time father will have already found the sorceress and will return him back to normal.” The demon says completely sure of Daddy Bats.

“Yeah, sure. How much time has passed since that night? And he hasn't found a single clue of her!” Jason says raising his voice without being able to avoid it.

“And tell me, what have you done? Have you tried looking for her too?” Damian answers the same way and Jason lets out a laugh without humor.

“Of course I've been searching on my own, informing with people from the streets, from the underworld, rumors, everything! I haven't been going to take tea every time I go out. So don't come to tell me I haven't done anything.” Jason growls and Damian rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, Todd. And despite all that, no one has found anything about her. Which leaves two options, or she disappeared completely from existence...” Damian says slowly.

“Or she’s waiting for Nightwing to come back and get out of her hideout again,” Jason says clenching his fists.

“We can't allow Grayson to get hurt again. We don't know that witch’s true intentions at bewitching him. She can't touch him again,”

“I know brat. She will have to go through me first,”

“Considering that Grayson was with your poor ass that night, I cannot say that you will protect him again as you are supposed to have done,” Damian says, rolling his eyes again.

“And you’re the best to protect him?” Jason says letting out an evil laugh. “You? A little demon who can't even manage to drive the Batmobile for your little ass?” He sees the kick to his stomach too late and lets out a sore laugh at that, releasing a short breath and a curse.

“Shut your mouth if you don't want another kick a little lower,”

“Back off, asshole,”

“Imbecile,” They both remain silent for a moment, when Jason catches his breath he leans again over the door, watching Goldie sideways and as he basically keeps snoring despite his screams.

“Anyway, whatever happens, we'll watch his back at all times, right?” Jason says trying not to sound angry.

“Right, as long as you're on the level.” Jason rolls his eyes but decides not to say anything else. He walks slowly into the room until he reaches Goldie's side. He watches him snoring softly in a not-so-comfortable position and after a moment he clears his throat.

“Goldie?” Jason whispers and then bends down, slowly moving Goldie's shoulder, after a moment Dick releases a groan and opens his eyes, blinks several times, and when he focuses his gaze on Jason he releases a small sleepy smile.

“Little Wing, you're here,”

“Of course I'm here Dickface, did you miss me?” Jason says and he can't hide the soft tone in his voice.

“Always,”

"But you saw me two days ago," Jason says with a cocky smile, Dick giggles.

“I always miss you when you leave,” Jason clears his throat trying to hide his red cheeks and then shakes his head trying to calm his agitated heart.

“Idiot,” Jason says extending his hand. “Ready to go to sleep in a real bed?” Dick nods taking his hand, Jason helps him get up and Dick releases a yawn, slowly stretches his wings and he takes a towel by placing it behind his neck. They both walk in silence towards Dick's room and once inside, Goldie immediately drops onto his bed, without undoing the sheets or anything. Jason rolls his eyes but decides not to say anything. He takes off his shoes and sits on the bed, rubbing his aching muscles.

“How was your night?” Goldie asks softly, Jason turns to watch him, he's already half asleep again.

“It's Gotham, Dickie. But it was calmer than usual,” Jason says, massaging his knuckles as he remembers the satisfaction of hearing the crack of the guy's nose a few hours ago when he found him trying to hit his girlfriend. “Only a few poor bastards who crossed my path tonight,”

“You didn't seriously harm them, right Jay?” Goldie asks in his sleepy tone and Jason lets out a laugh.

“My god Goldie, you know we have an agreement, for now,” Jason says.

“That's good Little Wing, I'm proud of you.”

“Yeah, whatever. How was your training today?” Jason says changing the subject, Goldie smiles softly as he closes his eyes again.

“Well, Damian has been helping me a lot, I've been able to jump and get my balance back a little more.”

“Mmm,”

“And I've also improved on the bars, I can spin more.”

“And when it comes to fighting? Have you improved on that too?” Goldie opens his eyes and furrows his forehead, watching him closely.

“Of course Jay, it's not like I've forgotten how to fight in these months, nothing has changed,”

“Of course everything has changed, your body is not the same as before, your wings are a completely different element, fighting with them is an extra constant that you should consider, a place where they can hurt you, they can take advantage of that and harm you.”

“That won't happen,” Dick says seriously. “That's why I will continue training, remember? I will not go out until I am completely ready.”

“And then what?” Jason says a little exasperated, letting out his insecurities. “You can train everything you want, but there is no guarantee that everything will go according to the plan out here. The world sucks, people are a real shit and as soon as they see your wings they will only take it in their favor, what if you are not ready for the kind of bomb they threw you out there?” Dick blinks and sits watching him intensely, the sleep disappearing from his gaze.

“Jay, you gave me that speech that I couldn't stay here crying and doing nothing. I can't stay another second here, I need to do my job, help people it's my duty. And now you tell me I shouldn't go out? That is not safe for me?” Dick says with an angry tone.

“Let me remind you that I have been doing this before all of you, yeah? This is not an impediment to going out again.” Dick spreads his wings slowly, implying his point.

“I'm not saying that you don't go out, damn. I'm just saying to take a little more time...” Jason starts saying but Dick interrupts him.

“More time? I can't take more time! There are people who need my help Jason, I can't let them down. I can't be here locked up, I need to prove that I haven't failed, I need to prove myself that I'm still strong, don't you understand?”

“Of course I understand! _Fuck_, but you don't have to show a shit to anyone Dick. You don't owe it to anyone. You don't have to rush things,”

“I will not rush things,” Dick says much calmer, leaning on the headboard but looking at him directly.

“I worry, okay? I worry damn it,” Jason says honestly, letting go of what has been in his mind since they had that talk in Dick's apartment. “I worry that you can get hurt again, we don't know why that witch gave you those wings, she hasn't left a single trace and I'm worried that as soon as you set foot out of there everything will go to hell again. And besides, you know how fuckup people are out there, Dickie, and I am terrified to think about what they will do as soon as they see you literally became an angel. I can't let you get hurt again, do you understand?”

“Hey,” Dick draws his hand and slowly puts it over his, squeezing firmly. Jason looks up and looks Dick in the eyes. Those gems shining brightly, leaving him enchanted. “Little Wing, you don't have to worry about me. You know that I can take care of myself, and I will not be alone at any time, you haven’t left me alone since that day and I know that you still be taking care of my back out there. I promise you that I will be careful, I will not take unnecessary risks, deal?” Jason nods letting out a sigh and Dick smiles sweetly. The entire room shines with that beautiful smile. Jason feels breathless. With his left-wing he makes a small movement and slowly strokes his cheek, Jason is frozen at that gesture and then shakes his head with a stupid smile.

“Sleep, Pretty Bird. It’s really cheesy for my quota this month. Back off,” Goldie lets out a rather loud laugh but walks away, settling on the pillows and closing his eyes almost immediately, Jason gets up and turns off the lights, leaving the curtains open. The moonlight dimly illuminates the room, giving it a cozy touch.

“Stay?”

Goldie asks whispering and Jason approaches the bed, falling heavily beside him. It was already a damn habit to fall asleep here anyway, and honestly, it was something he enjoyed, and clearly Jason wouldn't admit it out loud, but it helped them both sleep a little better every night. Jason stares at the ceiling until he hears Dick's calm breath change and knows he has fallen asleep. After a moment Jason feels his eyes heavy and soon falls asleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments, thannnnk you so much! I appreciate everything. 
> 
> I have a question for you, would you like this to be JayDick or just keep it platonic?  
I was thinking of making another story but just about the two of them, but idk. I love to hear from you ...


	15. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Edited ;)

“Again!” Dick repeats between quick breaths, his cheeks are softly reddish; his hair is sweaty and made a mess. _But his eyes_, his eyes were as intense and focused as ever. Jason let's out a breath and snaps his knuckles. They have been training all afternoon, without rest. Dick had regained his same balance and agility at the moment of moving and jumping. He had found a much better balance with the wings that allowed him to return to his previous grace. But when it comes to close combat, Jason feels he is not ready yet.

“Not even a little break, Pretty Bird?” Dick raises an eyebrow and throws himself again. Jason immediately blocks the blow and steps away a little. Dick continues to approach and give some blows, but Jason remains more defensive.

“Come on Jay, don't hold back!” Dick lets out in exasperation. Jason rolls his eyes. And honestly, he has been doing it, how could he not do it? He doesn't do it on purpose. The thought of hurting Dick in some way causes him a headache. He knows that they are only training and that this certainly helps Dick a lot, that is preparing him to go back out there and face Gotham's shit, but Jason still feels a little uncertainty going through his mind. On the one hand, he is happy to see Dick so energetic and with his usual grace, he is happy to see him smile as before, an honest and true smile. But on the other hand (his overprotective side) he wants to keep Goldie in a blanket and never let him out again, keep him safe and well. And the thought is selfish, Dick is not made to live like this, his soul is free and shouldn’t be locked up. His spirit is free and is made to be flying, not behind the walls of a manor and without the possibility of free up his wings, _literally_. By his small distraction, Goldie manages to get close enough to spin and kick hard his chest, pushing him back.

“Ouch!” Jason says touching his chest.

“Jay, where is your head?” Goldie says with his arms crossed. Jason now takes advantage of Dick's distraction and in a fast and strong movement with his leg sweeps Goldie's feet, who drops backward in surprise but quickly with his hands regains his balance and rises from the ground in a movement full of elegance. But Jason doesn’t give him the time to recover because he is immediately on him. Both exchanges blows and kicks, Jason now being more aggressive than before. In a moment Dick tries to kick his chest again but Jason holds his leg in the air, in a moment he turns the body of Dick who releases a small growl. Jason immediately grabs his chest by letting go of his leg, squeezing him tightly. Dick involuntarily waves his wings but they are not strong enough to cause damage. Dick tries to throw him with his legs but Jason lifts him quickly and squeezes him hard again. “Wait,” Goldie says between agitated breaths and Jason let him go immediately.

“Shit, are you ok?” Jason says analyzing his wings right away.

“I'm fine” Goldie answers sharply. Dick turns and watches him, in his face he can notice the uncertainty for a second, but it's all it takes for Jason to perceive.

“What's wrong Goldie?”

“It's just that… I don't understand why it has taken me so much work to adapt. I am simply trying to fight as always and include the wings, but it is not working out.”

“What's happening is that you need to find a different way to fight Dickie, just do it without thinking about the wings, automatically. Don't be afraid to use them,” Goldie nods not very convinced but they continue training.

The hours go by but Jason never feels the need to rest, time doesn’t seem to move forward while he focuses on hitting and kicking. Progressively Dick begins to have more confidence. He begins to let go more and more, using his wings in some way and that seems to begin to lift his mood again. At one point Jason manages to knock Dick down taking advantage of his biggest body and that Dick is too light now, he gets on top of him with a winning smile. Goldie stands still, his chest rising and falling. But in a moment he manages to move his legs thanks to his amazing elasticity and push with incredible force, Jason releases a groan and in seconds Dick changes position. His body is surprisingly light, so much that Jason could lift it without any problem, but decides to stay like that a moment.

“Are you enjoying the view?” Jason jokes and Dick lets out a laugh. The vibration traveling directly to his body and Jason tries not to feel chills.

“I take down the big bad Red Hood,” Goldie jokes and Jason laughs now. 

“Keep dreaming Dickface,” Goldie sticks out his tongue in what is probably the most ridiculous expression he has seen him do. “You weigh nothing,” Jason comments after a moment.

“Nothing?” Goldie says scratching his chin.

“Nothing. I could lift you with my own hands,”

“Well, you know what we discovered with the analysis and the opinion of two sorcerers. My body changed radically, like a bird. My bones got lighter, I lost a lot of weight and a lot of muscles,” Goldie says pouting and Jason can't help laughing at that stupid gesture. “Hey, it's not funny Jay.”

“Sorry, it's just that your stupid face makes me laugh,” Dick hits him again but this time his chest, Jason now lets out a sore laugh. Then both hear a fake cough and turn to the door, where Replacement looks them with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m interrupting something?” The teenager asks clearly uncomfortable.

“No Timmy, we were just arguing that I managed to knock Jason down,” Dick says, giggling and rising quickly from above him, Jason rolls his eyes and also gets up, not as elegantly as Dick but he does.

“Bullshit, Dick would never accept that I actually knocked him down,”

“What's wrong Timmy?” Goldie ignores him and directs his attention to Replacement. The teenager brings some pages in his hands. He comes close to the center of the room and then deposits the pages on a table. Goldie approaches and glimpses through the things.

“Well, I was thinking about what you told me the other night, about your wings,” Tim starts saying looking at Dick. “And I came up with some things, designs for your suit, or to create something to cover your wings.”

“Amazing, show me,” Dick says with a million-dollar smile, highlighting all his features beautifully. Jason takes a towel and wipes the sweat from his face and neck, leaving the towel around his shoulders. After a moment he decides to approach the table and take a look at what the Replacement design. He looks at several pages and some pretty well-done drawings, he can see the Nightwing suit but showing a different shape on the back so that Dick's wings can come out and not be trapped inside the suit. He looks at annotations of different types of fabrics also in case Goldie decides to keep them hidden and not have to wear bandages like a stupid mummy.

“I found a fairly thin fabric, it allows air to enter and that would make your wings not suffer from being covered for so long and have some ventilation. But even so, it does not allow anything to be seen; just the bulge of your wings, hopefully, it will not be very eye-catching. The fabric is also strong enough to withstand some blows, of course, it would not protect the wings against bullets or knives,” Tim says biting his lip. "But it wouldn't keep them in plain sight and it wouldn't seem like you have wings."

“Wow, Timmy! I love it,” Goldie hugs Tim tightly, giving him a loud kiss on his head. After a moment he steps away checking the pages with a smile. Tim blushes significantly and tries to hide it, _failing miserably_. Jason chuckles at the reaction. 

“And I also came up with some ideas for your suit, exposing the back to give space to the wings, the only problem is that they would be very much uncovered and without any protection. They would be a target and they could hurt you a lot easier,” Tim says showing of a little of his concern, and Jason agrees with him, of course, internally. 

“Can't we do fucking protection for the wings or something?” Jason half-jokes. If Bruce dressed up every night as a freaking bat, why wouldn't Dick use protection to his now new wings? Dick giggles at that and Replacement just rolls his eyes.

“No. _Well_, I'm not sure. I could do some research,” Tim says, thinking for a moment. “Maybe there could be out there some kind of armor for wings? I'm thinking something like a tribe in some legend would wear, but I don't know...” 

“Well, I guess it would be quite risky to go out with the wings anyway,” Goldie says putting a hand over his chin. “Without adding that going out like this in front of everyone, they would start talking, wondering what happened to me. If I am a meta, a weirdo, many things. I am not ready for that,” 

“Fuck them all,” Jason interrupts, both Tim and Dick look at him for a moment. “Really Dick, everyone can go to hell,”

“Language,” Tim says and rolls his eyes again.

“I know Jay, but I really wouldn't be ready for everyone to see me like that, maybe later,” Dick says returning his eyes to the pages.

“Well, then we focus on covering them,” Replacement says, holding the pages tightly. “I'll create several prototypes with Alfred's help. Sounds good?” Dick nods smiling. “We can try several things until we find the most comfortable for you, well, for the wings.”

“Great, when do we start?”

“Calm down Dickiebird, don't rush,” Jason says, crossing both arms.

“Okay. Changing the subject, let's order pizza and make a marathon of movies! We have to celebrate,”

“Hmm,”

“No,” Jason and the Replacement answer at the same time, but with a single glance at Dick's face and both have no choice but to accept.

Half an hour later, everyone is eating pizza and in the background Treasure Planet, _one of Dick's favorites movies_, is playing. (Alfred definitely did not agree with the greasy pizza and had insisted on making a homemade pizza, but there is no one who can resist Dick's puppy eyes,_ not even Batman_)


	16. Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Edited ;)

Some weeks go by and Dick finally feels a bit more 'normal' again. _Well_, if he can consider normal to have wings and have to wash and dry them as part of his daily beauty routine. The process of getting used to them is beginning to be easier, at least less complicated than before. Now, all his t-shirts have holes on his back, now he can't wear sweaters or jackets with the wings, _is just so weird. _It become hilarious at some point, how Dick has to gather the feathers that sometimes fall so that Alfred doesn't reprimand at him for being messy. How sometimes he flips his wings and he can feel the strength on the muscles. How the movement is now fluid, natural, like a second pair of hands. Sometimes he has the impulse to grab something with his wings and obviously it is impossible so he ends up chuckling at his dumb action. His life had changed, and nothing will ever be the same again._ For some reason_, that doesn't sound as bad as before. For some reason, waking up and stretching his wings every morning was pleasant. 

Dick puts on the _“vest”_ cheerfully. After so many failed attempts they had finally found a way to cover his wings so that he could finally _go out_. It was a very hilarious and kind of cute experience, see his brothers giving opinions and ideas, helping him to try a thousand designs. Basically it had been a really good bonding moment. A few weeks went by too before they could create something that really worked and was not uncomfortable for his wings. But in the end, they had to seek for advice from some feathered people... _coff, coff. _(Hawkgirl had been extremely helpful and kind with him) Let's say Bruce had everyone's number, So Dick had received many advices to cover his wings. For example, cut the feathers a little, mostly the long primary ones. That had been a piece of great advice and that made a huge difference when it came to covering them. Since his wings were not so big and they were not designed to fly _yet_, that's why he had the option to cut them a little without affecting their health. _(_Of course, the family almost had an attack when they saw Dick cutting the feathers, but after assuring them that nothing was wrong and that his wings were fine, everyone calmed down) They also advised him that at the time of covering them he still had to immobilize the wings, so that he was not moving them without being able to avoid it, so he returns to his old mummy bandages and makes a small tight bandage to keep the wings glued to his back and without any movement, that was pretty good for his balance. The fabric Tim had got was perfect, a black fabric that was very resistant but let his wings air. The _“vest”_ was placed quite easily, covered his entire back, and having the wings previously bandaged made him see almost without any lump because it provided tight support. Dick finishes dressing, he puts a white shirt, _and yeah_, he looks pretty good.

The only problem now was _Bruce._

While they were designing how to hide the vest under Nightwing's suit, that was the first time Bruce heard his idea of patrolling again, and he was clearly not very happy about it, although Dick talked to him and told him that he actually was an adult and he didn't have to ask for permission to go out again, they had reached an agreement, Bruce was still not convinced that it was the best time for Nightwing to return. Dick kept giving him reasons why he needed to patrol again. _In the meantime_, he was practicing with his Nightwing suit, and he really didn't see anything so eye-catching, just a little bulge sticking out of his back but he knows he wouldn't get as much attention as going out with his wings in plain sight, _duh. _Dick was anxious, he can't wait to go out again, these months have felt so eternal, he feels that a lifetime has passed since the last time he put on his suit and mask. But for the first time in all this time, he finally feels that he is in control, that he is finally the one who controls the wings. And honestly, he was fond of them already, _how could he not?_ They were part of him now.

Dick puts on a jacket on top of his white shirt and looks in the mirror, his reflection completely normal. He lets out a happy smile and immediately leaves his room. As he goes down the stairs he feels his hair cover his face and he knows that he should cut his hair soon, his wavy hair is quite long now. Once he arrives at the garage, he puts on his helmet, takes one more helmet, and switches on his motorcycle, heading towards the streets. He takes his time to reach his destination, and once he arrives he parks the motorcycle and leaves his helmet. He brushes his hair away from his face and walks towards the entrance of the school, watching the children come out. There are a lot of people, some wave at him, and others look at him closely. Dick leans in a tree waiting to see his little brother. Punctually, Damian comes out, his face a complete gesture of annoyance, his backpack hung on one shoulder, but when he sees Dick his face changes smoothly. Dick gives him a warm smile as he watches him approaching.

“How was your day Little D?”

“Tt. Let's get out of here,” Dick chuckles at that but he obeys, taking Damian's backpack who immediately tries to refuse but ends up accepting. Dick hangs the backpack on one shoulder and when Damian is about to climb to the motorcycle, Dick stops him.

“Let's go for ice cream, the weather is perfect,” Dick says looking at the sky with a smile. It was not very common to have sunny days in Gotham, although it still can be perceived the pollution in the sky, there is also a warm sun. 

“Okay Grayson, but just for this occasion. _However,_ I will choose where,”

“Sure Little D, lead the way.” Damian rolls his eyes but lets out a small, very small smile. They both get on the motorcycle and Damian tells him his favorite ice cream shop, not far from there. After a few minutes, they arrive at the place. Dick parks the motorcycle and Damian gets off right away and takes off his helmet putting it under his arm.

“Leave the helmet on the motorcycle Dami,” Dick says taking off his and placing it on the motorcycle, Damian looks at him with a frown.

“Grayson, this is Gotham, there are thieves everywhere,”

“Chill Dami, have some faith,” Damian makes a noise of exasperation but leaves his helmet a little bit sharply. They both walk towards the ice cream shop in silence.

“You're a fool,” Damian breaks the silence and Dick lets out a smile.

“Why you say that?” Dick says opening the door and letting Damian walk first.

“Because you always have _too much_ faith in people, it's silly to be like that, and that could be the death of you someday,”

“Well, _someone_ has to have faith in people, don't you think? What would the world be if there weren't people having faith? Besides you know me already Dami,”

“Unfortunately,” Damian whispers and Dick smiles again. Both wait a moment in the small line and after a few minutes, they order their respective ice cream. _For Damian_ a simple lemon popsicle._ Instead,_ Dick asks for a double Neapolitan ice cream, with extra chocolate, sprinkled with chocolate chips and jelly beans. _(_Damian looks at him like a freak when he looks at his ice cream but says nothing; he's familiar with his weirdness anyway) They get out of there after Dick insisted of paying and Dick insists again on eating his ice cream on a bench near the park, once seated, they both eat their ice cream in silence, enjoying the good moment. But of course, Damian couldn't keep his opinion about the ice cream Dick ordered. “Ugh Grayson, I can't believe you're eating that atrocity!”

“What's wrong with my ice cream?” Dick says with his mouth full of chocolate, Damian gives him a sour look and approaches a napkin to his mouth.

“First, don't talk with your mouth open, where are your manners? Second, do you know how much crap you're eating right now?” Damian says quite agitated and Dick lets out a laugh.

“Dami, calm down. You know is hard for me to gain weight, yeah? And besides, this isn’t crap, it is delicious! Take a bite!”

“No, of course, I won't bite that thing,”

“C’mon, give it a try!” They both fight a moment, but then Dick manages to convince him and Damian gives a little taste of his ice cream, he analyzes the taste in his mouth and a moment later Damian looks away.

“It doesn't taste as disgusting as I imagined, but it's still an atrocity,”

“I told you Little D, this tastes like heaven!”

“And how could you know how 'heaven' tastes?” Damian teases him with a little devilish smirk. 

“I just know Dami, I'm an angel, remember?” Dicks says now smirking at him. 

“Would you stop saying that? You're not such thing!” Damian says trying to hide a smile. They both finish their respective ice cream and popsicle in silence, observing the park and the people past by and how the trees move smoothly through the wind. It is one of those rare days where the sun rises, illuminating the city, and of course, they needed to be here outside. Dick releases a rather happy sigh, and Damian instead clears his throat before looking him in the eyes. 

“When will you go out to patrol again?”

“In a few days," Dick can't hide the emotion in his voice.

“And you're certain you are completely ready?” Damian asks with serious look on his baby face. 

“As ready as I could be Dami, of course, after so many months without going out I’m a little nervous, but I'm sure everything will be fine, I've trained pretty hard, remember? Besides, I won't be alone,”

“Of course you won't be,”

“See? I’m ready,” Dick says putting his hair behind his ear.

“Tt. You should cut your hair. Out there can be an impediment to good visibility,”

“Chill Dami, I've come out with much longer hair, but I could cut it a little, yeah,”

“You should,” Damian continues to insist. Dick smiles and feels his cellphone vibrate, he quickly reads the message and smiles slowly seeing who is.

“Is the idiot of _Todd_?”

“Don't be rude Dami,”

“Will you go out with him again?”

“Yup,” Dick replies while typing his answer.

“Don't you think you're spending a lot of time with that failure?”

“Dami,”

“He is a loser,”

“You know Jason has been with me since that day, and he has helped me a lot, he has supported me and I honestly don't know what I would have done without him,”

“And we don't support you in the same way?” Dick raises an eyebrow, looking at Damian with a sideway smile because he knows very well what his brother is implying behind those words.

“Are you jealous that I'm spending more time with Jason?” Damian stares at him with a totally offended face.

“Of course not! How can you compare me with that jerk? How could I be jealous of someone like HIM?” Damian yells quite aggrieved and Dick tries to hide a smile.

“I have never compared you to anyone Damian, and I never would. Also, you know that Jason has been there for me at all times, and I still don't understand why, but he's still here, he's been much more committed to the family, even to patrol with you guys sometimes! Jay has shown that he has changed and that he has your back. If you only gave him the opportunity to be with him and not by obligation, you would realize that Jason is not so 'jerk',”

“Tt,” Damian says crossing his arms and Dick knows he just won the argument, but Damian would clearly never say it out loud.

“Then I’m asking you to give him one more chance, _he's trying_, ok?”

“Whatever, as long as he is worthy enough to protect you, the rest doesn't matter to me at all,” Dick smiles and gives him a little hug, showing how proud he is of him.

“Okay Dami, how about we ride the motorcycle a little and then have a picnic at the manor?”

“Sounds reasonable,” Damian gets up first and Dick smiles broadly getting up as well and then messing up Damian's hair. Both walk back to where they left the motorcycle. Dick gives him an _“I told you so”_ look when they find both helmets still on the motorcycle, and Damian simply points out that it was _good luck._ When they are about to get on, a child approaches Dick, his face a nervous gesture, he has both hands inside his sweater. Dick furrows his face and kneels at the child's height.

“Is everything alright little one? Where are your parents?”

“My mommy will come for me in a few minutes,” the boy replies very softly, Dick gives him a small smile.

“Well, do you want us to wait with you until she comes back?” Dick asks and the boy nods quickly. Then he comes up with an idea. “Meanwhile, do you want an ice cream?” The boy nods a little. Dick stands up and Damian watches him with both arms crossed, but he has a relaxed expression on his face. He makes a sign knowing that Damian heard everything and they walk back to the ice cream shop, the boy chooses a chocolate cone and once they deliver it he grabs it and begins to eat it, Dick can see that in his small hand he has a folded paper, but doesn’t ask anything. While they walk outside the store, Damian steps ahead towards the motorcycle, but then the boy turns and looks at him seriously.

“Sir?” The boy says and Dick looks at him closely.

“Yeah?”

“This is for you,” The boy straightens the other hand that is not holding the ice cream and hands him the note, Dick observes it strangely but takes the folded paper. He observes it for a moment and when he is about to open it he observes the child.

“What is this?”

“Someone asked me to give it to you,” Dick is about to ask _who_, when a voice is heard and the boy turns around, a lady calls him by his name and the boy turns to see Dick and he smiles softly. “Thanks for the ice cream, sir!” The boy runs to his mother and they both walk in the opposite direction. Dick turns his eyes back to the note and looks at it strangely, he opens it curiously and when he reads the simple words on the page he _freezes_. He looks everywhere and reads the note again, feeling a lump in his throat.

“Grayson, what was that?” Damian asks, approaching with both helmets in his hands, looking at him suspiciously.

“Nothing Dami, let's get out of here.” Dick says trying to sound calm while keeping the note in his jacket. He feels his hands shake but he hides it when he reaches the motorcycle. Damian observes him knowing that there is something strange with him but asks nothing more while they both get on the bike. Dick pulls out at full speed and feels Damian squeeze his hands tight around him for the speed but he can't help it, he needs fresh air, he needs to _calm down._ The simple words keep repeating in his head over and over again. 

****  
_“I'm watching you Pretty Bird.” _  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas!!! I hope that you have an amazing night and that you spend a good moment with your loved ones. 
> 
> This is a quick chapter, I haven't the time to write as I want it but know im ready to write because I have ideas and a lot of inspiration! Thanks for keep reading and sending your love towards this story!


	17. You're Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason and quick Dick's POV.

Jason takes one last inhale off his cigarette watching the smoke disappear above his head and into the dark sky. Once he throws the cigarette away he walks calmly towards the small _bar-restaurant_, one of his favorite places over the years and where they make the best chilidogs ever. The place is almost empty, and it doesn't surprise him, it's a bit late already. He can smell the delicious steak coming from the kitchen and he can hear the background music coming out of the old speakers. He sits near the window and orders a beer and both orders for him and Dick knowing what the older likes to eat. The fucker is unpunctual by the way, but _whatever_, he can wait a few more minutes. Jason starts drinking from his beer and starts planning the conversation in his mind, trying to create a dialogue that allows him to express what he feels... but it's so difficult. _Goldie is simply difficult._

There's has been something in his mind lately, something cold and so hard to express, something that feels so _intense_ every time Goldie is near him. Dick knew him better than anyone else, and he could let his guard down around him, it was easy showing his true self around Dick. But that was dangerous too, Jason feared that kind of _bond_. And the fucking problem now was that they were been going out to eat, hanging out more. Now that Dick can finally get out and be able to hide his wings. It is a relief to see him slowly reclaim his freedom back. But the problem is not that, is he... always him.

Jason knows he's a fuck up person, he's damned. All these months that have passed since Dick was bewitched have affected the whole family, of course, _—_the most affected was Dick, but Jason feels that being so close to Goldie has affected him in a way that he doesn’t understand, he feels that he is becoming a softie, that he is lowering his guard facing the feelings that for so long he tried to burn, that he tried to destroy and bury with him, but if he's honest, Jason had so many years without feeling so... good. It is for that very reason that he is afraid. _He is terrified_ of feeling this way.

_Attachment_ is dangerous, it makes you _weak_, it makes you _stupid._

Being near Dick reminds him of his life before his death. Of that child full of hope and illusions, he reminds him of how he used to be and the memory is just so _painful_. That is a whole different life now. Jason returned from the dead feeling everything except _hope_. He remembers perfectly all those years where he could only feel anger, rage, and desire for revenge: against Bruce, against Dick, against Replacement, against the whole fucking world. And of course, that fury is still there deep down, when he is close to the family sometimes all the resentment wants to return, but Goldie is there and offers him a real smile and soft words that calm his mind. And that _terrifies him._

Attachment means death, it means weakness... and Jason already feels _too weak for Dick._ Having feelings in this line of work can be deadly. He can't keep feeling this way. He can't keep showing weakness, Jason needs to feel indestructible again. So Jason plans to get away from Dick for a while, take care of him from afar, watch for him from the distance. He needs to stay away for a while and be able to return with a cool and focused head. _Like before._

Jason hears the doorbell and he looks up. Dick enters quickly and walks directly to the window. Jason watches as Dick looks completely normal under that jacket. And he really _should_ stop thinking about how it is a bit strange to not see Goldie's beautiful wings, he was already used to seeing him with wings that seeing him as before is strange now. Goldie sits down in front of him and lets out a sigh pushing away the wavy hair from his face. Jason analyzes him and then notes right away that there is something wrong about Goldie. His shoulders seem tense, and there is something about his face that doesn't fit. _Fear,_ he notices. Jason frowns. 

“Is everything okay Birdie?” Jason says casually as he gives his beer one last drink.

“Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm late,” Dick finally looks into his eyes giving a small smile, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

“I order the usual,” Jason says, trying to think _what_ could have change Dick's mood so drastically. _He is afraid of something? _

“Thanks,” Dick says putting both hands on the table. Jason is about to ask what the fuck is happening when their food arrives. The smell of chilidogs immediately floods his nostrils. Jason checks that their orders are fine before ordering another beer.

“I ordered you that vanilla milkshake that you liked the other night,” Jason comments stupidly trying to break the awkward silence. Dick looks up from the food and met his eyes for the first time. He smiles again, this time a little more real.

“You remembered it” Dick comments taking a sip of his milkshake.

“Sure, you're the only adult who eats the equivalent of 5 children and loves sugary cereals to death,” Dick lets out a little laugh but doesn't feel as authentic as usual.

Both eat in silence, _or rather_ Jason eats his chilidog while Dick takes a small bite of his and looks at everywhere every 5 seconds. Jason lets out a sigh and watches Dick frowning again.

“What's up with you Dickface? You are _too_ little verbal and you haven’t eaten. What's wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I'm sorry, I ate dinner at the manor,” Dick says, biting his food and then moving the plate away a little.

“Bullshit, I don't believe you at all. Do you think I don't know you enough to know when you’re lying? What’s the problem? ” Jason says a little sharply and Dick jumps a little looking into his eyes.

“I’m fine, okay? Besides, I don't have to tell you everything that happens to me, you always complain that I talk a lot anyway, don't you?” Dick says sternly and Jason swallows. Shit. _Damn feelings_

“You know it's a joke, right? If I didn't want to hear you talk for hours, you know I wouldn't be sitting here.” Jason replies defensively, slapping himself for sounding so honest. Dick releases another sigh and covers his face with both hands, his black wavy hair covers his face for a moment and Jason feels the need to put it out of his face. But he stays completely still. Dick straightens and looks at him again. 

“I'm sorry Jay, I don't want to be rude to you when you haven't done anything, it's not my intention,”

“Tell me what’s wrong Goldie. Why are you so stressed?” Jason can't help to sound soft. Dick is so strange and Jason _wants_ to know what has him so weird and tense and, _afraid. _

“It's just that...” Dick scratches his jaw clearly undecided whether to open or not, and Jason can't help feeling a _little hurt_, Dick never has trouble talking to him. “It's just that I'm nervous about going on patrol, that's all,” Jason finishes his beer and nods, he's not at all convinced that that's why Goldie is like that, but he doesn't want to force anything else. Dick doesn't want to talk to him. Okay,_ fine. _

“How was your day then?” Jason asks instead, he watches Dick’s face _literally_ change and how his eyes shine with affection. 

“I went to pick up Damian from school and we went for Ice cream, we ate it at the park and then we gave a few rounds around the city on the bike, and finally we had a picnic at the manor, it was so nice!” Goldie finishes with an authentic smile this time. Jason doesn't feel _jealous_._ Not. At. All._

_“_Sounds boring,” he says trying to sound nonchalant. 

“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me?” Dick asks innocently as he starts drinking from his milkshake. Jason now swallows the little security he felt before. How could he tell him what he's been practicing all day? _All these weeks?_ And less now seeing how strange Goldie is acting behind those "smiles". But he knows that he needs to get it out, he needs to express what he feels, his fears, he needs _someone_ to tell him that he is right and that it is okay to be a little selfish.

“Dick, I need to go away for a while,” _That's it_, he already dropped the bomb. Dick looks up immediately and frowns, trying to see if what he heard is fine.

“What do you mean?” Dick asks slowly looking quite serious now.

“This,” Jason says, waving his hand between them. “I need my space and go back to my old routine, return back to normal”

“And this isn’t normal? Is it so unbearable to spend time with us? _With me?_” Dick replies biting his lip, Jason feels he is about to _screw it up._

“It's not that, it's just that these months I've stopped doing my things, I feel that I need to get my routine back and focus on what I do completely, nothing else. It doesn’t mean that I will stop seeing you or move away completely, I just need some air, okay?” Dick looks away and Jason can tell he's hurt. His heart hurts a little when he sees that reaction. He doesn't spect that. 

“And can I know why?” Dick asks softly, but then shakes his head and lets out a dry laugh. “You know what? Forget it, you don't have to tell me anything or give me explanations. I understand if you want to get away, I know it hasn't been easy being close to me especially in those first months, sorry if I put a burden on you,”

“What? No!” Jason says suddenly and Dick jumps back a little at his abrupt tone. “It's not like it's a burden to take care of you, how can you think that? If I was there, it was because _I wanted to be_, not because I felt a responsibility. It would never be a burden to be there for you.”

“And then why you want to walk away suddenly? Is it something I did?” Dick asks, showing his concern.

“Hell no! Why do you always assume that you are the problem? There is nothing wrong with you, quite the opposite. Can't you understand that I just have to get away a little?” Dick swallows hard and looks away, his shoulders falling a little more. Jason wants to say what he really feels, he wants to explain himself better, what makes him crawl back like he used to be and want to hide from this weird feeling. But he doesn't know _how_ to do it, the words _don't come out_, he _can't make him see_ what's really happening.

“Ok, I… I understand. If you want space, okay” Dick says taking something out of his jacket, he leaves some bills on the table and he never looks up. “I hmm, I gotta go, good night.”

Jason sits there, like the biggest stupid on the planet. Dick gets up and disappears through the door, the bell announcing his exit.

And just there he realizes that there really is _something wrong_ with Dick, _he would never_ give up so quickly with an explanation as mediocre as the one Jason just gave him. He would never be satisfied with such empty words. It's like Dick is letting him go on purpose.

_Or maybe_ he got tired of his shit, like everyone else.

Jason stays there for a while longer, reproaching himself for how bad everything went. Fucking stupid.

Dick doesn't need to be listening to his insecurities and unfounded fears. He doesn't deserve to be his punch bag or listen to his demons. Dick needs someone strong, someone who can take his hand and lead him to that stability that Jason doesn't have. _Anyway... Dick is too special for him._

_It is too much for anyone._

Later, Jason finds himself hunting a parasitic scum, hunting him like a vile rat. Enjoying perhaps _too much_ braking him little by little and hear his screams rumble on the walls of the old warehouse.

_____________

Dick leaves the restaurant a little more affected than he would like to feel. He quickly reaches his motorcycle and takes his helmet, but doesn’t leave immediately. He stays there for a moment, leaning on the wall and watching the sky, it is clear and a few stars can be seen through the clouds. He smiles as he remembers the stories his parents told him about constellations and how he still remembers every word perfectly. Dick feels his phone buzz and sees that is Damian asking if he will be late and where he is. Dick can't help smiling again when he sees his brother is so vigilant of his location but he decides to write to him that he will stay at his apartment in Blüdhaven tonight.

So he puts on his helmet and vanishes in the opposite direction, and this time he takes his time to arrive, he lets green lights past and stops every so often, just enjoying the speeding sound of cars dissipating behind him as he weaved between them. The cold loud air pushing against his face is soothing and familiar. He takes all the time in the world to not reach his empty apartment in Blud and not having to think about everything that is happening right now, everything they are putting on his shoulders again. Then he remembers the note this afternoon. And he feels a chill run down his back.

He arrives at his apartment and immediately closes the door with lock, Dick ensures that each window is secured and with its security system running. And he knows he's so dumb. If the sorceress wanted to go after him, a stupid protection like that wouldn't work, but that keeps him a little calmer. 

He gets comfortable. He takes off his jacket and his shirt by dropping them to the floor, he puts on comfortable pants and gently removes the _“vest”_ and the bandages, when he finally finishes he releases a sigh and stretches his wings. They were starting to feel numb for so many hours. But isn’t anything so unbearable. He makes some movements to relax his tense back and moves his wings slowly to relax the muscles there too. Then he goes to the kitchen to prepare something to eat, he realizes that there are some feathers on the floor but it seems nothing of concern and he starts to check the shelves for something. 

And he realizes that his kitchen is in fact, quite full of food. Things he remembers never having acquired. He finds some instantaneous cheese macaroons and he prepares them while checking what else is in his kitchen that was not before. The more Dick observes the more he notices things that were not there _before_. And then it comes to his mind _who_ was the one who filled his entire kitchen; _Jason._

He didn't want to think about what just happened, what Jason said, and he shouldn't be surprised. Jason is not _someone_ who likes people invade _his_ space and he definitely needs his time, right? It shouldn't even hurt like this. Jason had always made it clear that as soon as he was 100% better he would return to his routine and personal things. _Why does he feel like this?_

It must be for spending _all the time_ with Jason, all the months that have been coexisting all day and all night, Jason had not left or moved away for more than three days. He always came back and made sure everything was fine with him. And honestly, he is already so used to his company, and now he has to get used to_ losing that now._

Dick returns to reality when he listens to the microwave and begins to devour his macaroons, he turns on the TV and then realizes that there are many extra channels that he had not hired. _Jason,_ again he was doing things in his apartment, _agh_. He decides after a few minutes that he is not concentrated enough to watch TV and just let it sound like background noise, to _turn off_ the silence of his _empty_ apartment. Dick hates silence. It makes him want to think again, take his mind to those dark corners, remind him of everything that has happened in these few hours, and feel the fear wanting to go back out.

And it's also for that reason that he didn't ask Jason for more explanations, that _he let him go_ without putting so much resistance. He doesn't want anyone to get hurt, let alone if _she..._ if she’s really somewhere there, _watching him_. Just thinking about it makes him nauseous, so he leaves the macaroons on the table and lies down on the couch. He takes the note from his jeans on the floor and watches it over and over again.

_He can't risk anyone. He can't put a loved one in danger._

So he looks for a lighter and then brings the flame to the paper, watching how it burns slowly and ends up being just ashes. Dick needs to keep this a secret. He cannot risk someone else knowing that she has reappeared. In addition, he must be focused on what is coming, in less than a week he will go back out there, to patrol and he should not lower his guard at any time, he needs to have his mind in the game and be able to feel like before. _Be Nightwing again._

He will not allow _anyone_ to take that away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Don't worry they will eventually fix their sh*it, haha it's just that there's so much happening right now, for one side Jason doesn't know what to do with that feelings and for the other side, Dick is afraid that somebody might will get hurt because of him). 
> 
> Soooo anyway... Happy New Year!!!  
I know its two days left but I wanna wish you the best, good vibes to you and I hope this 2020 will be the best year.  
About this story, I hope to make it better and better and give a good end eventually, because this story has so much more to give, so I hope to make this long and a gooood. 
> 
> Do you have questions about something? Something isn't so clear? I will love to hear from you guys! <3 
> 
> PD: to write this chapter I was listening to this song: you're special by NF. It is a song that omg I feel its something Jason will listen and think about Dick, yeah hehe. :3


	18. Flying Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightwing is back...

Dick feels the air moving his hair softly. He takes a strong inhalation and lets out a small smile. _Hell, how much he had missed this._

He can observe the entire city from the top of the roof where he is standing. He stays there for a moment, simply enjoying the view, recording it in his memory with great intensity. And then Nightwing approaches the edge of the building and without hesitation throws himself into the void, falling, enjoying the sound of the air ringing in his ears and the sensation of his body falling without a net. He can observe the lights and cars as he gets closer to the ground, an image in a blur due to the speed of his fall. The adrenaline runs through his veins and his heart beats with fury in his chest, filling him with a rush of happiness, he feels more alive than _ever. _In a fast and precise movement, he throws his grappling gun feeling the tension of the cable and then glides over the buildings quickly. He takes his time while moving through the air, enjoying every second. He belongs here in the air, _almost flying._ He doesn't belong to the ground with chains that keep him caged like a broken bird. Right here, right now, he is _free_. 

Once he reaches his destination, he spins giving a few acrobatics movements, _showing off a little, yeah._ And he lands on a new roof, crouching down immediately. He looks closely at Gotham's dock, counting the ships that are anchored and if there are any new ones that he hadn’t seen before, with the help of the lenses in his domino mask, he searches for signs of heat and at the same time collect data on approximately how many people are in the dock. Nightwing hears movement to his right and he cannot help but smile widely.

“It surprises me all the time you let me go showing off without saying anything… Robin,” Nightwing replies, returning his eyes to the dock. Robin makes a noise of exasperation but crouches down next to him.

“I just let you stretch a little, it seems logical after all the time you were out of the field, and it's not as if it's not nice to see you in action,” Robin answers the latter very softly, but enough so that Nightwing can hear it.

“Thank you Little D, I missed patrolling with you too,” Nightwing replies pushing Robin's shoulder slightly, who refuses to make eye contact.

“No names in the field,” Robin replies with an almost imperceptible smile, but Dick knows how to recognize it.

Both remain silent for a moment, waiting for Batman's orders. Dick suspected that in recent days Bruce was assigning him the simplest patrols, the quietest routes where there were no crimes as bloody and repulsive as in the rest of the city. Today was the proof of this, a long stakeout watching a possible Black Mask drug operation at the dock, but in recent days the activity has been almost _none._

It was obvious that Bruce wanted to give him the simplest patrols so he wouldn't get hurt. On one hand, Dick appreciated the way Bruce showed his concern and that he cares, but on the other hand Dick can't help feeling a little _angry_ at that, he's not a child anymore. If he wanted to, he could leave and return to Blüdhaven _(where he should be),_ but he himself had agreed to be here in Gotham until the wings no longer bothered him. But besides that, _was it so bad to spend time with his family?_ Dick has to admit that he missed this so much. So he could take these simple patrols for now, well, he could do it to spend more time with his family. 

“Any weird movement? Or will we stay here until we count all the fishes in the water?” Nightwing comments after a good hour had passed, he can't help it. He has never liked doing this kind of stakeout. The silence is simply _so boring. _He needs to be in _action_, not sitting in his ass.

“We are observing from the same position, if there were any movement we would have both seen it,” Robin replies calmly, he is so good at this, he can be for hours without speaking or moving, just existing, like _Yoda._

“I can't believe that B sent us here again, these days there has been no activity, it is possible that Black Mask has moved his drugs somewhere else, we are wasting time,” Nightwing comments, releasing a dramatic sigh and leaning on the roof without looking too far from the port.

“Silence Nightwing, you know that Batman doesn't make mistakes, if he sent us here it was for a good reason,” Robin says pretty sure.

“Or because he's an overprotective father,” Nightwing answers in a whisper, very sure Robin heard him. “And besides, where is Batman anyway?”

“Apparently there was a breakout in Arkham, Batman and that fool are dealing with Two-Face.”

“Two-Face!? We should be helping! Not here watching the water move,” Nightwing says sitting down quickly. “Hey, and don't refer to Red Robin like that. Also, why are you so calm being here and not there in the action? It's not common for you to prefer patrols so boring and not being kicking asses. Unless… _you want me not to be in action?_” Nightwing asks slowly and then Robin's shoulders tense, he turns to see him shaking his head immediately.

“What? No. That's absurd, of course isn't like that Grayson,” Robin replies and Nightwing can't help smiling.

“No names in the field” Nightwing replies with that mocking tone that his brother hates. “So it's true, everyone wants to keep me away from the action. Ouch.” Dick can't help to sound a little hurt.

“That's nonsense. Nobody is conspiring against you or trying to get you out of the action. You should focus your mind on this mission and not wander about rubbish or that idiot of Hood,” Robin growls crossing his arms and Nightwing makes a noise of protest.

“What does Red have to do with all this? Why do you mention him? Nothing’s wrong,” Nightwing says now crossing his arms.

“Please, the idiot has not been in the manor for the last few days and has not been your shadow since the last time you saw him. It is obvious that the idiot screwed up and you are angry with each other, if you ask me, we are much better without him,”

“Hey! That is not true”

“Of course we are better without that zombie. You are _too_ much for him, he does not deserve your kindness and compassion, but you are too blind to see it, you are too soft with him. You need to protect better your heart.” Nightwing lets out a sigh without being able to avoid it, he didn't want to think about Jason again, and how he actually had stayed away as he had warned. And Dick has to admit he _misses him_, damn, he does.

“Well, we agree that we don't agree. Please, don't mention it again.”

“I didn't want to cause you discomfort or bad memories, excuse me for it. I just wanted to make you see the truth. You know you can come to me if you need to talk to someone,”

"I know. Thank you.” Dick smiles and gently shakes Damian's hair, the boy approaching the contact subtly. They both hear a noise and look toward the dock, watching how a few armored SUVs park and as several armed men begin to leave the cars heading for a specific ship, one of which Dick had not recognized since the start. He can see how some containers begin to be moved towards the bay and the ship. “Hell, they didn't change the place, they're carrying the merchandise to that ship,” Nightwing says as he starts counting how many men there are in total while Robin turns on his comm.

“Robin to Batman, Black Mask's goons are transporting the drug to a ship and preparing to do the exchange, I'm sending you the location, ASAP”

“Backup?” Nightwing asks wrinkling his forehead. _Since when does Robin ask for backup for something as simple as this? _

“Nightwing, there are 28 men in total, armed to the teeth, not to mention that we didn’t know that the operation was going to be done tonight, we do not have a plan, our job here is just informing Batman and gather information about the-...”

“And we will let the drug leave the port?” Nightwing interrupts Robin. “Batman and Red Robin are too far away. By the time they arrive, they will be gone,”

“Robin, Nightwing, report.” Batman's voice is heard through their communicator. Dick quickly rushes to speak before Damian.

“Batman, Black Mask's goons are unloading the drugs to a ship, we must intervene before they leave the port,”

“Negative.” is Batman's immediate response and Nightwing lets out a growl.

“I am not asking for permission, we must intervene, we don’t know what type of drug they are transporting. We need to stop them _now,_”

“I assigned you this mission to gather information and inform about their movements. Not to intervene. Place a locator on the ship and we will reach it when it arrives at the final destination. Red Robin is heading to your location as we speak.”

“Tt. Ok.” Robin replies sharply upon hearing about Red Robin, and Nightwing immediately clenches his fists.

“Nightwing, follow the order,” Batman says roughly.

“Whatever,” Dick disconnects his communicator with a growl. Damian watches him closely and takes out his grappling gun after a moment.

“Shall we?”

“What? What happened to follow orders?” Nightwing asks a little bit incredulous.

“I know you weren't going to follow the orders, it's better that I accompany you. And anyway, we haven't kicked butts together for a long time,” Damian answers, standing up, Dick follows. “Besides, Father should know every time he forbids you something, you do it anyway, and who better than me to look after you.”

“Thank you Little D” Dick replies with a warm smile and Damian returns it but a little more devilish.

“What's the plan?”

“I detect a heat signal on the ship, which means that there may be more people inside, I would say about 7 people. I need you to take care of them first and stop the ship.”

"Stop it in what way?"

“You know, break it down, something like that”

“And you will take care of everyone from the trucks? It is not to underestimate you but they are too many, even for you,”

“Don't worry Little D, I'll give them a little distraction,” Dick says winking though he knows his mask doesn't allow him to show it, Damian knows him very well to know his reactions. Then he checks that his smoke bombs are in his utility belt. “As soon as you finish with the ship and the people inside find me outside”

“Okay,” Robin replies moving his grappling gun. “Be careful, remember not to expose yourself too much and take care of your back,” he adds later, Nightwing nods giving him a comforting smile.

“Don't worry Robin. Give me your signal when you're inside the ship and wait for me to tell you that I'm ready with the distraction.”

Both nod and Nightwing pulls out his own grappling gun, he waits for Robin to disappear from his sight and then he begins descending. Without making the slightest noise Nightwing hides behind some containers. He cautiously looks out and begins to analyze how many men he can knock down before attracting too much attention. He prepares to launch a smoke bomb while waiting for Robin to indicate that he is already inside the ship. Dick releases a few breaths and tries to calm the adrenaline he feels running through his veins. He moves his back a little feeling his wings want to break free, but he tells himself that at the moment he finishes this he can take a good shower and stretch his wings.

“I'm inside the ship,” Robin says very softly through the comm. Nightwing again observes the goons and catalogs the best strategy to launch the smoke bomb and begin to immobilize each one.

“Wait for my signal,” Dick does a small breathing exercise again and once he lets go of all the air, he squeezes the small device tightly, ready to throw it. “Now!”

He throws it with precision towards the men waiting outside the trucks and then he hears the screams and the weapons loading, but he doesn’t wait for another second and shoots out of the smoke, having each of the men well located. He arrives at the first and before the thug can see him he kicks his chest, the man screams in surprise and then Nightwing ends him with a punch to the face leaving him unconscious. Nightwing gives a backflip and with the impulse of his hands on the ground, he kicks another man in the back, throwing him away. He immediately gets up from the ground and begins to hear the shouts of warning and weapons.

He makes some movements and reaches the following men, disarming them with a rapid movement and hitting one thug's knee hard, the man screams and other thug rushes against him, but Nightwing jumps in the air and hits him on the back throwing him down. The man who knocked on the knee limps up but raises his gun, Nightwing moves away from the shot and in an agile movement hits the guy's hand, who releases another scream and drops the gun. The smoke begins to dissipate and Dick can see several men running towards the place with larger weapons, so he rushes to disarm the thugs closer to him. Nightwing pulls out his escrima sticks and, with a rapid movement, brings the cane to the neck of a thug who runs towards him, the man immediately falls to the ground unconscious. Nightwing quickly moves away when some men start shooting, he curses and then throws several wingdings at the goons, who immediately drop their weapons with a growl. Nightwing seizes the opportunity and uses his sticks to hit and knock some more unconscious. He immediately finds who the boss of this drug operation looks like. He studies him carefully and knows that he is not like the others.

“Wow, Nightwing in Gotham. We thought you had left the map.”

“Did you miss me? Wait, don't answer. I can see it in your eyes.” Nightwing replies disarming the last guy and leaving him on the ground.

“You will miss your hands when I rip them off for ruining this,” the man replies throwing a knife at him, Nightwing manages to move in time before it could have go through his face.

“As long as you don't touch my face, yeah? It's a national treasure,” Nightwing replies with his usual smug smile.

The man throws himself and they both exchange good blows, Dick observes that this man has military training, and seems to know his movements, so Dick decides to change tactics, he gives a backflip and then the man approaches, Nightwing takes advantage of the closeness and with his sticks, he hits his chest, the man growls and then he punches his face hard, Nightwing takes a few steps backward blinking several times, the man doesn’t waste time and throws another blow to his face, Nightwing protects his face with both hands but the thug takes advantage and kicks his chest. Dick lets out a groan and takes the opportunity to hit again with his sticks hitting the guy's abdomen, who lets out a scream and punches him in the face again. Nightwing releases his stick by inertia and then the guy seizes the moment pulling out a knife, Nightwing barely pulls away, simply receiving a cut on his chest.

Nightwing hears more movement and then watches another armored truck appear and more guys descend, he curses and dodges another blow from the military.

“The little bird came alone? Bad idea” Nightwing moves his escrima sticks agilely and watches something move, he distinguishes a cape and then smiles sideways.

“I'm never alone,”

He hears a scream of rage and several screams of surprise and he doesn't turn around knowing that Robin has everything under control. Nightwing concentrates on the man in front of him and throws himself in the air towards him, taking him by surprise. They exchange a few more blows and then Nightwing takes a turn releasing a strong kick to the chest of the military, who falls on his back closing his eyes, Nightwing seizes the moment and punches him in the face, leaving him unconscious.

He turns to Robin and watches him take a final blow, several men on the ground, unconscious or hurt enough not to want to stand up.

“Did you stop the ship?” Nightwing asks, catching his breath and touching his jaw. _Ouch_, he probably will have a few bruises in his face.

“It won't be able to turn on in a while,” Robin says showing off. “The drug is inside. All the goons are tied and ready to be arrested.”

“That's my boy” Dick can't avoid the tenderness in his tone, and he can see Damian look away, noticeably flushed.

“Tt, let's tie these losers,” Both get work together and once all the thugs are tied up, Dick calls Gordon who is surprised to hear his voice but then says that the police are on their way, and of course he repeats that he is happy to have him back. Dick hangs with a smile and then approaches Damian.

“Movie night?”

“While we don’t see these terror atrocities is fine”

“Oh come on, those are the best!” Damian shakes his head and then looks at his face and at his chest frowning. 

“You are injured” Dick watches his chest and sees a cut. It is not too deep to need stitches, just will a need good disinfectant. He raises his shoulders slightly.

“It's nothing serious” When Damian is about to answer, he watches him tense and look behind his back. 

“Nightwing!”

He turns just in time watching two thugs near the ship in a small boat, one is putting bags of drugs to the small boat and the other points a gun directly at them. Dick doesn’t think twice and stands in front of Damian. He hears two shots and then moves Damian away, feeling a little pain pass through his leg. He looks up and sees the guy fall to his knees holding his shoulder tightly, the blood running down quickly. 

Dick observes that the man was shot and then he quickly looks for the shooter. It must be a very _good one_, with a great aim to shoot the guy from afar. Dick immediately thinks _who_ could have done it and before he can say anything he observes Red Hood's boots approaching the guy. Nightwing gets up and watches Robin.

“Are you okay?”

“You didn't have to put in front of me! What were you thinking?” Damian shouted crossing both arms.

Dick doesn’t answer and directs his eyes to Red Hood, who is very possibly threatening the man and pointing his weapons at him. Dick lets out a sigh and then observes that the boat with the few drugs and the thug are not there, he searches frantically and uses the lenses of his mask to find it faster in the dark, after a few seconds he finds the guy running away at full speed.

“Hood! The boat!” Nightwing doesn’t wait for an answer and begins to run towards the place, but immediately he feels the pain in his right leg. Nightwing observes a bit of blood begin to appear and he sighs. Well, at least the bullet only grazed at his leg. 

“What fucking boat!?” Red Hood replies turning to see him.

“That boat!” Nightwing points the boat running away from the bay. Red Hood makes a heavy blow with his weapon to the guy's head and he falls unconscious. But Nightwing doesn’t stop, he runs to the ship and throws his grappling gun, hurrying to get on the ship and reach the boat before it goes too far.

“Nightwing, wait!”

Dick can hear Jason's robotic voice but he ignores it, running down the deck of the ship. He also ignores the little pain in his leg and then arrives at the end of the ship, he watches the boat pass quite close and without thinking it he launches, falling heavily on the boat. The guy didn’t expect that interception and let out a scream, some bags with drugs fall into the water and Nightwing struggles with the guy, both hit each other and Nightwing quickly takes the key of the boat and it stops abruptly, the abrupt movement sending them to both cold water.

Dick releases the guy and begins to swim towards the surface, the water is freezing and he feels his bones freeze. He manages to reach the surface and gives a deep breath. He watches more movement in the water and watches Red Hood on top of the boat, pulling the guy out of the water and knocking him out roughly, Red Hood turns on the boat and doesn't waste time approaching him, Jason pulls out a hand and Nightwing takes it right away, going up the boat. He tries not to shiver from the cold while sitting in the small space, and Jason without saying anything directs the boat back to the bay, he can see the police and how they are arresting the thugs. Dick feels his teeth grind and Jason lets out a growl.

“What were you thinking?”

“I was swimming Hood, it's a magical night tonight,” Dick replies trying not to show how cold he really is.

“You're a jerk,” Jason replies storing his guns sharply.

“I am a jerk? You are the one who says he needs space and you appear out of nowhere and start shooting! It makes no sense,” Dick says, unable to avoid sounding hurt.

“I was passing by,” Jason says and Dick knows right away that it's a big lie. _Why would Jason be around here?_

“Yeah, right”

“What where you thinking? You could have been killed! You’re so so stupid,” Jason says trying to sound angry, but underneath all the hostility Dick can still perceive real concern.

“Sorry, I didn’t think about it, I just though about protecting Robin, I- just...jump, I guess,”

“Whatever Dickface, you have to go to the cave now, you can have hypothermia,” Jason says coldly as they reach the shore of the bay, where Robin waits for them with folded arms.

“What are you doing here Hood?” Robin asks without hiding his annoyance.

“Saving Dickface's ass, you're welcome” Red Hood answers as he gets off the boat, Nightwing growls and gets off the boat, and this time he can't help but shake. He feels that Jason is going leave at any moment and disappear again, but Jason takes off his jacket and puts it on his shoulders.

“Thanks Jay" Dick replies, he can't keep being mad with Jason, it's impossible. He just can't. _He's too soft. _

“Anyway, I’m leaving” Jason turns around and starts walking away, but before he can go very far Dick holds him by the wrist.

“Red, you don't have to leave, can we—.”

But Jason doesn't stop, and Dick can swear he watches as Jason's shoulders fall as he walks away. Dick tries to swallow the lump in his throat and squeezes Jason's jacket tightly against his body. It smells like cigarettes, gunpowder and that characteristic aroma of Jay, like lemon. _It makes him feel safe._

Dick watches him disappear as he feels the tiny drops go down his body and feels his wings very much uncomfortable. He hears the Batmobile from the distance and Damian claiming how careless he was, but Dick doesn't concentrate on that, he only looks at the place where Jason disappeared.

“Nightwing.”

_Oops,_ Batman is angry.

He is in serious _trouble._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, sorry for posting so late but I wasn't at home and I couldn't post the chapter sooner! love u guys! thanks for keep reading, the next chapters are going to be... intense ;) <3


	19. Father and Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Dick talk. 
> 
> (yes, this is the way I personally think Bruce should act and talk with his children's) :P  
(PD: we all know Bruce will never do that, but thankfully here we can make that happen 🥺, only here).

“Nightwing” Dick closes his eyes for a moment and slowly turns around to see Batman, he can quickly distinguish the angry tone, and Dick perfectly knows the lecture that awaits for him. He can see the stiff pose of Bruce's body as he examines him from toes to head, his mouth wrinkled in a straight line.

“Hi,” Nightwing smiles naively while inside his mind he starts compacting all his _feelings_ in a small box and leaving them in the oblivion. He smiles hiding the cold he really feels, and how his teeth want to shiver due to the air pounding against his wet suit. Dick tightens Jason's jacket around him even more, knowing how strange it must look above his suit. But Dick could not care less. The important thing is the heat that still spreads through his cold body.

“We'll talk in the cave, go inside before you get hypothermia,” Batman says sharply and sending a Batglare to his direction. Nightwing lets out a sigh and walks defeated towards the Batmobile. At his back, he can hear Robin's hurried steps following him. Once he looks up, he watches Red Robin walk towards him with a shock blanket. Tim places it on his shoulders quickly rubbing a few circles on his back.

“Wing! You're okay? Do you still feel your limbs? Can you move your toes?” Red Robin asks frantically as they get into the Batmobile.

“Relax Red, I'm fine.” 

Dick sits down and quickly his two brothers sit beside him very close. Dick tries not to smile, and that is when he starts shaking again. Robin growls but still, he gets closer, muttering that his proximity is merely to provide human warmth. Dick hears footsteps and watches Batman climb and start the Batmobile at full speed. Silence immediately arrives and he can only hear the engine and the little noises coming from his mouth.

Dick shivers again without being able to avoid it and growls a little as he moves his back, his wings are _too uncomfortable_, he can feel that the water penetrated his suit and the vest, wetting his wings, is _not_ a pleasant feeling.

“What happened to... t-two face?” Dick curses internally when he starts to stutter. _What opportune moment that his body chooses to react to the cold, ugh._

“Don't worry, he didn’t go too far. We caught him before he could do any real damage, he's locked up again,” Red Robin says and Robin makes a noise of exasperation but Tim decides to ignore him. That's when Tim watches him closely. “Jason was here?” Nightwing can feel Batman's intense gaze through the rearview mirror and Dick giggles, but it sounds more like a groan.

“Why do you say that, Timmy?”

“Well, for the jacket that clearly belongs to Jason. Besides, it stinks of cigarettes, if you ask me,” Tim says trying not to smile.

“Oh,” Dick says biting his lip. “Yes, mmm, he was here,”

“He shot a crook," Robin replies crossing his arms, clearly still upset about the whole thing.

“He shoot someone?” Bruce can't help getting into the conversation. Dick shakes his head trying not to stutter again. He needs to explain things before everyone makes their own _wrong_ _conclusions_.

“Yes, but it was in self-defense. He didn't seriously hurt the guy, it was a shot to the shoulder to immobilize him and prevent him from shooting Robin,”

“Of course he wasn't going to shoot me! I had it under control, and you didn't have to stand in front of me, Grayson. That was foolish and reckless. How do you think of going after him with a bullet on your leg?” Damian almost shouted in his face.

“They shot you in the leg?” Bruce asks turning to his direction, while Tim lowers his gaze to his leg.

“It doesn't count as a shot. The bullet just grazed my leg, okay? No need to worry. I'm f-fine,” Bruce returns his sight just when they reach the cave letting out a growl. “Sorry Dami, I didn't want to make y-you worry. You know I would never let anything happen to you, any of you.” Dick says hugging both Tim and Damian. Tim smiles at the touch. 

“I wasn't worried about you! It was such a stupid thing to do, I got angry,” Damian growls while pushing gently away from his hug. 

“Yeah, sure” Tim answers with a mocking smile. 

“I wasn't talking to you, asshole”

“Language,” Bruce says at the same time that Tim. 

Once the Batmobile stops completely, everyone jumps out of their sits and Dick lets out a growl as he stands up. He is _clearly not going_ to limp in front of his family, of course _not_. His pride is bigger. So many months he was unjustly locked up and a simple wound like this will not send him to bed, _no, no_. He needs something much worse to convince him to stay at home. He just hopes his overprotective family can understand that.

Dick squeezes harder the blanket around his body as he walks to where the batcomputer is, ready to make his report and be able to express what actually happened tonight and not the disaster that everyone thinks happened. But Bruce stands in front of him, Batman's hood back, showing his stern expression. 

“Don't even think about it,” Bruce says knowing him well enough to know what he intended to do, Dick rolls his eyes but obeys, _just for now_. He takes off the domino mask sharply and removes some of the glue that is left over his face.

“Master Richard, it is urgent that you take a good hot bath and dry those wings immediately. I'll make you a good hot chocolate, does that sound good?” Alfred says interrupting the tense moment. Dick releases a sigh imagining something hot going through his throat.

“Sounds perfect Alfie, t-thanks,”

“Go up to your room please young sir. It's much warmer than down here, I'll go up to check those cuts right away.”

Dick smiles warmly at Alfred, _the savior of this family_! He quickly goes to the elevator and can feel the look of his brothers and father figure on his back, but he decides not to look back. He will talk with Damian once the kid isn't mad at him. Once he goes up to his room he rushes into the large bathroom and begins to throw everything out of his body and into the floor— (_unity belt, boots, gadgets, his wet suit_) everything except Jason's jacket, which he leaves on the dresser. Once only the vest remains, he turns on the water as hot as possible. He quickly takes off his vest and lets out a growl as he stretches his numb wings. He sees several white feathers fall to the floor while slowly moving both wings trying to relax the muscles. He frowns but doesn't think of anything _bad_. He gets into the shower letting out a noise of pure happiness. The hot water is a relief for his cold body.

He bathes quite slowly, enjoying the water falling on his body and wings, which started to be cold—, a feeling so strange and different for him. Dick watches them sideways making sure they are well and then continues bathing. He looks at his leg and he can see the blood wipe of the wound and disappearing through the strainer. He notes that it is not so serious and ignores it while soaping his hair one last time. Dick feels a small burning and then remembers the cut in his chest, it isn’t so deep but it can infect without the proper treatment. When he finishes he dries very well and puts on clean boxers and comfortable pants. Carefully he starts cleaning some feathers but he knows he needs someone's help to completely dry his wings. He observes his face in the fogged mirror and when he cleans it he can see some bruises forming on his jaw and cheek taking a purple and a little greenish color. _Why always the face?_

He goes to his room smiling at the feeling of the temperature. It is quite cozy and warm. He hears footsteps behind the door and he first thinks it's Alfred with that hot chocolate he promised, but instead, he watches Bruce enter with that say chocolate and a tense look.

“Can I come in?” Bruce asks, clearing his throat. Dick gestures to the room and sits on his bed, crossing both arms. Bruce closes the door with his foot and passes him his hot chocolate. Dick can't help making another happy noise when he feels the heat pouring from the cup to his hands. “Why are you shirtless after almost freezing in the river?” Bruce interrupts the cozy moment with his reproachful tone.

“I need to dry my wings... duh,” Dick can't help smiling grimly at Bruce, who makes a noise. He knows perfectly well how to get Bruce crazy, _he has a lifetime of practice after all._

“Do you need help with that?” Bruce asks looking him straight in the eyes.

“Please,” Bruce nods and looks for a dry towel. Once he finds one, he approaches uncomfortably towards him. Dick rolls his eyes and turns his back on Bruce. He feels his big callused but warm hands begin to touch his back and wings. Dick feels a chill go thought his back and he realizes that it is the few times Bruce has touched his wings. The whole family has caressed his feathers. It was already a tradition that everyone seemed to have in common. Something that relaxed not only Dick but whoever caressed those long, beautiful feathers. Everyone but Bruce. Who clearly finds physical contact still problematic or simply doesn't like the wings. “Before you start with your lecture, I need you to hear my version,” Dick interrupts after a while, bringing his legs close to his chest, enjoying the feeling of the towel drying the feathers gently and slowly.

“Humm,” That would be Bruce's affirmative answer, so Dick continues.

“We couldn’t let the drug leave the port, you know how good Black Mask can hide a cargo and how they had backup plans for his henchmen. We were there, why wait for back-up? _It's illogical_. You know that Robin and I make a great team, he listens to me and we can complement our movements. My mistake was assuming that they would not bring more reinforcements, but we handled it very well. No one was injured and everyone was arrested, the drug is confiscated and Gordon will make sure it doesn't get to corrupt hands,” Dick says and can’t avoid closing his eyes to the comforting touches in his wings.

“Humm,” Bruce answers again. Dick lets out a sigh.

“So I don't see why you should give me a lecture. I’m not a child anymore. And let me tell you that I didn't like at all the way you told me what to do, you know that I hate that you want to control what I do Bruce, we have talked about this before and you have to admit that you are simply being overprotective. I agreed to stay here in Gotham until I adapted to my wings, and I am doing that. I am not taking care of my city. I'm here with you guys, but I told you what my terms were, remember? Nothing about being a controller or a…”

“You're right,” Bruce interrupts and Dick almost chokes with the chocolate, he begins to cough dramatically and Bruce releases a sigh and a small blow to his back.

“What?” Once Dick finishes coughing he turns to see incredulously at Bruce, who ignores his gaze. “What did you say?”

“You heard me well,”

“This is something that doesn't happen every day, okay? You? Giving me the reason? You’re admitting that I am right for once?” Bruce rolls his eyes, throwing the towel into the laundry basket and sitting on the bed beside him. Bruce takes the first-aid kit that Dick hasn’t seen him brought and Bruce starts checking the cut in his chest. After a few minutes of silence, he puts disinfectant to the wound and put on a gaze with medical tape, Alfred would be _proud_. Dick takes a sweatshirt and puts it on, fighting with the holes in his back and Bruce helps him once he finishes taking care of the cut.

“I didn't say such a thing, I admitted that you're right about something you said, not that I agree with the way things happened,” Bruce says after a few minutes once his wings are comfortable.

“But you said I'm right! I need to know what you mean with that,” Dick says making a gesture with his hands while Bruce sits back in front of him. Bruce watches him and makes a gesture with his hand. Dick approaches his leg with a noise of exasperation. “I'm fine B, it's nothing serious. I just another cut, like the one in the chest,” 

“I'll check that out,” Bruce says raising his pants slightly and checking the wound on his leg with a meticulous look.

“So, am I right?” Dick insists again knowing Bruce's tactics to avoid talking about certain issues.

“You're right to say I was being overprotective,” Bruce says focusing his attention on applying a disinfectant. Dick tries not to whine about the burning. _Okay, it actually hurts_. “I didn't want you to face still so many guys, I wasn't sure you were ready for that. I have assigned you slow patrols to try to make you take your previous rhythm, and that is selfish. I can't control what's going on out there. I can only trust that you are ready for everything that comes in your way.” Bruce says sincerely as he now places gauze and a small bandage around his leg. Dick swallows without knowing what to say, _Bruce, admitting his feelings? Being honest with his intentions?_

“I… I don't know what to say. I thought you were going to start screaming and reproaching me for not following your rules,”

“Yeah, me too,” Bruce says and Dick can't help laugh at that.

“Thanks for caring about me, I know it is not easy for you to admit your fears out loud. I appreciate that you are trying,” Dick says trying not to sound so sugary, Bruce smiles slightly.

“This is much better than shouting nonsense and starting a stupid fight. I admit I was about to do it, but we all know how that would _end_. I don't want us to keep distancing ourselves, with everything that has happened in this few years, these months,” Bruce says with a sigh as he watches his wings. “I can't let things like this happen to the people I care about, I won't. I promised you that I would return you back to normal and I will do that.” 

“Hey, remember I'm fine. This… this was difficult—” Dick says raising his wings and closing his eyes for a moment, as he opens them he sees Bruce directly in the eyes. “But time has passed and I have really got better. I have gotten used to the wings. They are part of me now. _I've learned to love them, even._”

“I know chum, I've seen you hit bottom and come back _stronger_, as you always do. I have seen you train every day and try to take back your life despite the difficulties. You've done great, never giving up. But that doesn't mean you have to stay with the wings forever. Don't forget that it was a spell, a curse that a witch _gave you _and we don't know what her true intentions were in giving you those wings. I promised you that I would get to the bottom of this and find a solution. You know I will.” Bruce promises looking into his eyes intensely and Dick nods trying not to cry. _Since when did he become a crybaby?_

“I know Dad, **I know.**” Dick can't help calling him that and he can see the emotion behind Bruce's eyes. Dick gives him his best heartwarming smile and hugs him quickly. “I know you would look for her until the end of the world and force her to undo this. But I want you to know that I'm fine, I'm happy and that nothing will happen if you break that "_promise_" I need you to trust me and know that I will be fine. That is my promise to you.” Bruce nods and slowly pulls away. Dick leaves him do it and lets out a happy sigh.

“Can I ask you a question?” Dick says after a moment of silence and Bruce nods looking at him curiously.

“Hum,” that's a _yes_.

“You don't… don't like my wings? Do they seem repulsive or something to you?” Dick asks swallowing. Bruce frowns right away.

“No, why would they seem repulsive to me?”

“It's just that, you never watch them for a long time, or touch them. It is as if you want them to disappear. You always tell me that you will return everything back to normal as if you can't stand to see them around.”

“It's not that,” Bruce says scratching his jaw. “It's just that I can't stand to see them and remember what happened that night. How they appeared and caused _you so much pain_. As for weeks, you were sick, throwing up, without strength, as your life was being taken from you, ruining all your plans. As if they were something bad, like a burden. But I begin to see them differently. Maybe, everything happens for a reason. And your wings have a reason to be.” Dick nods feeling a lump in his throat and feels very calm knowing what Bruce really thinks and feels. “They're not repulsive,” Bruce continues to look at his wings. “They are beautiful.” Dick nods touching his right-wing with love.

“They are,”

“Anyway, too much sentimentality,” Bruce says standing up and clearing his throat. “We don't want the sky to fall due to such a strange moment of weakness from Batman.”

“That’s not weakness, _but yeah_, it’s pretty weird coming from you. Are you truly you or you’re from another dimension?” Bruce smiles touching his long hair and putting it away from his face.

“Good night chum, rest.”

“Good night B,” Dick says as he lies on his back, covering himself with his warm blankets. Bruce turns off the light and disappears through the door.

Dick still can't believe that Bruce really talked about his feelings. _His feelings!_ The sky is really going to _fall._

So with that, Dick compacts again everything bad that happened today, leaving it locked in a small box and he decides to focus on moments like this, great moments that don’t happen every day. Dick closes his eyes smiling like a fool getting lost in the sleep immediately, hoping to have good dreams.

But it seems that life doesn’t want to give him a break because that night is when the _nightmares begin._

Reminding him that _she_ is indeed out there, watching him. Reminding him that not everything is under control. And that he can’t let his guard down.

That night, he dreams with sharp teeth and a voice whispering fears into his ear. He dreams with blood staining his hands, and too-familiar faces, their motionless bodies laying on the ground, their lifeless eyes looking into his deep blue eyes.

Dick wakes up _screaming. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting closer to the drama and everything! ;) 
> 
> what are your thoughts about this chapter? did you like the moment between Bruce and Dick? 
> 
> Next chapter is about Jason, and how he is doing without Dick. :/  
Thanks for reading <3


	20. Stalking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason is basically stalking Dick. 
> 
> :P
> 
> PD: There is a lot of cursing in this chapter. Enjoy <3

Jason can feel the wet floor beneath his cargo pants. He scowls trying to guess what can be that wet piercing the fabric. Maybe it is the rain, _yeah_, Jason hopes is just water. These last weeks have been very rainy, sunny days were now in the past. Gotham's climate was certainly something unpredictable. The only thing always present was that aura of darkness and pollution in the sky. Oddly, the weather matches his mood. And the simple thought of that makes Jason angrier.

_When did he allow himself to be so weak? _

It's as if since he asked Goldie for space—to get back his head to the game—, nothing has gone well. The days seem eternal, the nights are long and full of nightmares, (Jason was used to nightmares, had been repeating them for years), but now they felt more overwhelming. Jason even come to admit that sleeping in that uncomfortable chair, he had rested so much better than sleeping far from Goldie. _Fuck._

On the day Jason spends his time planning operations, _as always_. He does exercise and then he reads for a few hours. To calm his mind. At night, he makes his routine patrols and carried out his plans, massacring some low-profile gangsters, but who were equally vile scum. And after all that, he started watching Nightwing from the distance. Jason told himself he wasn't stalking after him, _nope, not at all._ He was just observing, not-profit. 

But, honestly, he had actually promised that he would watch after him. No to Dick, directly. But he had said that out loud, now he had to keep his word, right? It didn’t matter if they didn't talk, or rather, that Jason didn't talk to Goldie. That night on the dock still can't get out of his mind. Dick's face had that look so heartbreaking. His big, pretty blue eyes looked so sad and pleading. He was asking him to _stay_. Getting away from him at that time has been so much difficult, much more of what he can admit. And Jason has been through some hard shit, so he doesn't exaggerate by saying so.

That is why this cold night Jason is here, crouching down on the top of an old building, watching a group of meaningless gangsters exchanging money and secrets.

And Jason never thought he would use the comms to hear the conversations of the birds and the bat. _He has fucking spying on them!_ Just to know where Goldie was. (And Jason was sure Tim probably knew what he was doing, that fucking genius. And Bruce too, Bruce knows almost everything, everything except being a good father, ha.) But nobody had told him anything, _yet_, nor had he been claimed to be sneakin' on the comns. And honestly, that surprised him a little. But what surprised him the most was that Goldie hadn’t noticed his presence every night, Jason following him into the darkness like a shadow. It is as if Dick was being sloppy. And that kept him more alert. Jason kind of sense that something was wrong, but he didn’t have the courage, nor would he allow himself to lose his pride by asking someone about Dick.

Jason sees the time and he and knows that Nightwing should appear at any moment. Lately, the Boy Wonder was taking more solo patrols. It seemed that Daddy Bats was giving him more freedom. But it was obvious that everyone kept an eye on the little bird. Nightwing always ended the night with Red Robin and Robin, all three returning to the cave, playing and bluffing in the heights. It was clear that everyone enjoyed Dick's company, _and who wouldn't?_ Goldie simply has that effect on the whole fucking world, that feeling of serenity and joy that he gives you just for being by his side. It's like an addiction, you need more and more, you can't settle for little. Being in his company is addictive and dangerous. It makes you weak, and dependent.

_Jason is not dependent._

In time, he hears movement in the building and he adjusts the night vision in his helmet. He watches the room start to fill with smoke and the thugs start screaming and getting up for their seats. But Nightwing doesn’t give them time to react, because in a moment a blue and black shadow is seen through the window, breaking the whole thing with a loud ‘bang’ and sending glass all over the place. For a moment everything stops. The tugs standstill, shitting in their places wondering if it's Batman. And that's _another big mistake_, underestimate the pretty bird. Nightwing is _beautifully_ dangerous, and exactly for that reason is a mistake not to take him seriously. They usually underestimate him thinking that he's just a pretty face, and in a moment, _bam_, you're on the floor. In seconds the shots begin, aiming at emptiness. Nightwing is much faster, and before the scums can assimilate who the fuck is, Nightwing throws his escrima sticks, throwing two guys to the floor without any effort. The others aim their weapons at the figure in blue and black, but who quickly gives a backflip disappearing into the smoke that is just beginning to dispense.

Jason can't help smiling when he sees the men start shouting in confusion, saying things like '_where is the little shit!?_', searching where the pretty bird hid. Everyone tries to get out of the room, like dogs running from the pound. But before they can get close to the door, Nightwing comes out of nowhere and with a single kick throws a guy on top of the table, destroying it and throwing both to the floor. Nightwing wastes no time and starts throwing wingdings, dodging some shots from thugs farther from where he is. Then Goldie finds who is shooting and kicks the gun from the guy's hand, which lets out a scream. Nightwing punches him in the stomach and then in the face, throwing him unconscious. His fingerstripes looks just so _elegant_ while Nightwing moves his escrima sticks and hits a guy in the neck. He does a cartwheel and then Goldie picks up the fight with the several guys in a blink, dodging blows and moving acrobatically among the idiots. A guy tries to kick him but Nightwing uses his escrima sticks and hits the thug in the ribs. One by one they realize that they can't match Nightwing. Nobody can touch him. He just moves so fast.

Jason can't control staying like a fool watching what happens from the distance. It doesn't even seem that Goldie has wings under that tight suit, it doesn't seem like a few months ago he couldn’t stand up on his own, it doesn't seem that he lost many pounds and muscle, he looks just amazing, _as always_.

Watching Dick fight is like watching a well-coordinated dance, _deadly_, but it's still like a dance. His body moves full of grace and elegance, his punches are clean and precise, causing only enough damage to immobilize, not to cause more pain. Dick goes from here to there, jumping, bending down, making spins, cartwheels, and movements that just seem impossible for anyone else. But Dick makes it look so easy, the movement isn’t forced, is natural. Everything about him is natural and real, and beautiful.

Nightwing ends all the guys in a very short time, he begins to zip tie them and he calls the police while moving the escrima sticks in his hands, the movement is agile and precise. Goldie seems bored. But even so, he still looks extremely stunning. Jason swallows and looks away. He can't keep feeling all those chills when he watches Goldie. He is supposed to get over him, don't fall more!

When he is about to leave, he feels the edge of a sword in his throat, instinctively he raises his gun aiming at whoever dares to caught him off guard. _Damn_, _at what moment did Jason lose so much concentration to low his guard like this?_ Goldie is not only dangerous for gangsters, but he is also dangerous for everyone else.

“Don't even think about it, Todd,” Jason turns around at hearing that unbearable voice, and then he growls.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole? What you think you are doing?” Robin pulls the katana away from his neck and puts it in place, then he crosses his arms and scowls his face under the mask. Jason puts his gun down and stands, looking at Damian radiating frustration.

“I could ask you the same thing, Hood. What are you doing being a pervert and watching Grayson from here?” Robin says angrily.

“What the fuck?” Jason asks instead. “How did you know I was here?”

“It is impossible not to notice your pestilence at the distance, or how not to sense your shadow stalking all the time. I find it hard to believe that Grayson has not noticed your ridiculous attempt to be discreet,”

“Whatever brat, go to hell. It's not your business what I do,” Jason says as he begins to collect his weapons from the roof.

“I certainly don't care at all what you do, but I'm curious because you resort to stalking Grayson from afar. And why you don't have the courage to speak to his face and apologize,” Robin says with that tone of superiority that is so frustrating.

“Excuse me?” Jason asks incredulously, ignoring everything the brat just said. “Why would I apologize?” Clearly Jason must apologize, but he _wouldn't_ admit it to Damian.

“Apologize for getting away from Grayson with such a foolish reason. Grayson misses you and I honestly do not understand why, I have tried to make him see that we are much better without you, but you know how sentimental and stubborn he is. So tell me why you walked away from him in the first place.”

“It's none of your fucking business!” Jason hisses, but Damian doesn't seem affected at all. _As usual_.

“You are worried that something might happen to him. Is that why you keep an eye on him?” Damian asks as if he already knew everything and he’s only highlighting things. “Do you think the sorceress is watching him too?”

“I don't know, demon. I haven’t found anything about her. Nobody knows in which hole she is hidden. But what I do know is that this is not over yet. I'm just making sure Goldie is fine.” Jason admits, returning his eyes to the building opposite. Seeing that Nightwing has already left, the police are now arresting the thugs instead.

“Well, obviously Grayson hadn't told you anything since you don't talk. And you how he is, he is a self-sacrificing idiot and would not admit he is not fine. So I'm gonna tell you something,” Damian says lacking his usual condescending tone. Jason frowns. “In recent weeks Grayson has had nightmares, where he ends up screaming to wake up. It seems strange to me that out of nowhere they have begun to happen,”

“Huh. It's not a coincidence,” Jason says quietly, bless his helmet that doesn't allow the brat to see his worried face. _Nightmares? What kind of nightmares?_ “Wing’ has been fine? Another strange thing you noticed in him?”

“In addition to the nightmares, I have noticed him more paranoid, he is not relaxed. That's why I came to you, just for that reason. You seem to know Grayson extremely well, and although I don't like you, I must come with you to know what's happening to him. Has he already had that kind of nightmares before?”

"Sounds like you really care about Goldie," Jason teases and Damian denies right away.

“Of course I don’t.” The boy says clenching both fists tightly.

“Yeah, right. But no, I mean, everyone has nightmares, but I don’t remember Goldie having any, and I don’t remember him telling me about recent nightmares. It’s weird that they started just now,”

“Tt. So are you going to share information with me, or what?” ‘_let's work together_’ is the implication in Damian's words, since neither would admit that they are working together. _Ugh, everything Jason has to do for Goldie._

“Okay, but I only do it for Goldie. He is the only reason, understood? I don't care if you don't want to admit your true reasons, but understand that this is serious shit. We are facing dark forces, or _whatever._ And I'm not going to let a fucking witch hurt him again, it's our job to make sure nothing happens to him,”

“Of course we are going to make sure that nothing happens to him, first she will have to pass over me. I won't let someone hurt him like that again.”

“Don't steal my phrases, dwarf”

“It's not like you invented those words, prick”

“And who the hell teach you those words, huh?” Jason asks raising an eyebrow. 

“You!” Damian says with a mocking smile. Jason cant help return the sharp smile. 

“That's right brat, don't forget it. So,” Jason says sitting on the edge of the building. Damian doesn't sit, but he gets close. “Where are kinda like his bodyguards? A group of protection for Birdie?”

“It should be more than two people to be considered a group, but _whatever,_ only if you are good enough to keep up,” Damian says with a nod. Jason rolls his eyes but doesn't say more. Until Damian clears his throat. “And, have you seen something out of the ordinary in your patrols stalking Grayson?” After a moment Jason lets out a growl and looks at the demon again.

“I haven’t seen anything out of the ordinary, I don’t detect any sign of movement or heat near Goldie when he is patrolling. I haven’t heard anything suspicious in the streets either, there aren’t rumors of sorceresses or anything related to the supernatural. As I had told you, it's just as if the bitch didn't exist,”

“Father has not stopped looking for her and has reached the same conclusion as you. Now he is more focused on what a new serial killer looks like. So we can't let our guard down. Grayson plans to return to Blüdhaven in a few days,”

“What? Oh,_ fuck,_” Jason says raising his voice. “Why didn't you say that earlier brat?”

“I told father it was not a good idea Grayson being on his own again, but he insisted that he had a conversation with him and that they had reached an agreement.” Damian ignores his question. 

“An agreement? _Hell_, I find it hard to believe that the old man had a conversation, a real conversation? More than 5 words?” Damian lets out a sigh and completely ignores his words. _Again!_

“The important thing is that Grayson shouldn't be alone,” this time Jason can sense some emotion coming out of the demon and he lets out a laugh.

“Ow, and you are going to miss your older brother, aren't you? Poor little thing,” Damian doesn't try to deny it, but he throws a kick to his stomach. Jason lets out a growl but doesn't try to hit him back. “Ouch, watch it! You could have thrown me off the roof!”

“Focus, idiot. My plan was to go with Grayson and stay with him. But the damn school would expel me for so many faults. And it's not as if I care at all what those empty-headed think. But Grayson has insisted so much on me attending that I cannot disappoint him,”

“Maybe... I can keep an eye on him,” Jason says without thinking, getting serious for a moment. “I mean, it would be tough to go from Blüdhaven and back to Gotham every night. But maybe I could even hunt some gang in Blud and stay for a while, I have done that before. But I can't just leave everything and go after Goldie, who would do my job? Who would clean the city for me? Batman and his stupid morals wouldn't let you take care of my shit. And it's not like I'm going to give that up just for him,” Jason says, sounding dead serious. But he must admit _deep down, really deep down_ that if Goldie asked him that, he would do it. He would do everything. _Damn_. And the brat knows it very well, that's why he came to him. That is _why_ he is asking this directly to him. But for once Damian doesn't make fun of him. He doesn't put on that face of superiority by being able to bring out one of Jason's very few weaknesses. _Goldie._

“You know you would do that, Todd. You can lie to my face and I don't care about that, but you can't lie to yourself. That would say how little man you are. Admit that you would be willing to do all that and more for Grayson. Because if you're not, then you don't deserve anything from him, you don't deserve him at all.”

“Why do you ask that if you already know the answer?” Jason says raising his voice. _Why of all people, does it have to be the fucking brat asking these questions, again?_ “I don't deserve him, nobody does, okay? But I'm willing to leave everything and watch his fucking ass, and I know you would do the same for him. Everyone would do it. I don't care about your opinion, the only important thing here is to keep Goldie safe.” Damian watches him for a few seconds without saying anything and then lets out a small, devilish smile.

“It's all I needed to hear, I knew you weren't so incompetent after all. And don't worry about Gotham, I'll make sure all the idiots are under control,” Jason rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh, how can Goldie call this demon _cute?_ Jason walks away from the edge and turns its back to the dwarf, ready to call it night. But he hears Damian speak again. _Now what?_ “Before you go, Todd,” Jason turns his head, listening. “You should talk to Grayson. Unfortunately, he misses you so much. And just like you, he's a complete idiot, do something about it, and don't be a coward.”

With that, he hears him disappear and Jason growls. _Fuck_. He needs a drink. Cross out that, he needs a _lot_ of drinks.

_____________

Days go by and everything seems to move in slow motion. The hours are unbearably boring. Jason feels he hasn't slept enough. Nothing seems to be enough. He feels more irritable and in a bad mood, _more than usua_l. And he doesn't understand _why_.

His plan before seemed simple; get away from Goldie, go back to his cold and focused mind, come back after a while being the usual Jason. _Now_, that plan sounds stupid. Of course, nothing was working according to plan. Damn it, everything was worse now. His mind wasn’t cold and focused, he was distracted, and he was out of focus. Nothing was working as it should.

Jason grabs his jacket and decides to take a night off. There was nothing to do. It's as if the villains had taken a night off too. The only concern was a supposed serial killer on the loose, but Batman was taking care of that, so Jason had no problem taking a single fucking night off. Goldie was still with the family, which meant he wasn't alone. With that thought in mind, Jason decides to go to one of his favorite bars. After a few minutes, he parks his bike outside and walks thought the old wooden door. Everything was empty, of course. People knew better than going to a dive bar, in one of the worst parts of the city, and at night. But Jason knew this place perfectly. It was one of his first hiding places when he was a kid and where he learned to drink before he was old to do it.

He quickly orders some drinks and after a moment he takes a good shot of whiskey. He tries to forget everything. He needs a night for himself. Nothing about the Demon. Nothing about B. Nothing about Replacement. Nothing about criminals or sorceresses. And certainly, _nothing about Goldie._

Jason goes for his fifth drink when he pays attention to the background music, and he lets out a laugh. The few people look at him strangely, but he ignores every look, knowing how maniacal he should look laughing alone. But everything is so damn funny. Hell, can't he have a rest? He takes a good drag of his cigarette and blows the smoke through the air.

He hears carefully to the song and then he remembers Goldie—_always him_— Interestingly, it is one of the blue-eyed favorite songs. One that he kept singing all damn day long. And he knows that even the Replacement was humming that too.

It's like fate wants Jason to always be thinking about him, he doesn't give him a _break_.

The rest of the night passes and Jason feels much very much tired, there is still something that leaves him anxious. For some reason, his sixth sense keeps him at the edge of his seat. And not even the alcohol seems to help. Jason resigns himself to simply staying there. If only Dick saw him in this way, drowning in his sorrow. After a few more minutes, Jason prepares to leave, there is nothing else he can do, this drinking is not working. He asks for the bill and leaves an extra tip. When he takes his jacket ready to leave he feels his phone buzz and he lets out a growl. He notes that he has many missed calls. Most of the Replacement, one from Alfred, and that immediately puts him on alert. When he looks for the number of the elder ready to return the call, he feels the buzz of the device again, he stays dead on his heels when he sees _who_ is calling him. Jason swallows hard and answers quickly.

“Goldie? What is happening and why is everyone calling me? What’s wrong?” Jason answers quickly. He can't help getting a little excited. Only a little. _Is he talking because he misses him? For real?_

“Jason” that's not Goldie's voice. Jason feels a chill go through his spine. _Something's wrong_.

“Tim? What the fuck, why are you talking from Goldie's number?”

“Jason, something happened. Come to the cave, please”

“What happened? Tell me what's going on, now.” Jason in seconds is going through the door, ready to go.

“Mm... it's Dick. Something happened. I think it would do him good if you were here,”

“_Fuck_” Jason feels his hands shake as he reaches for his motorcycle. “I'm on my way”

With that hangs the call and puts on his helmet. He shoots towards the cave. He feels his heart beating furiously through his chest. Dammit. _Now what?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, hor are you guys? <3 
> 
> Im here with a new chapter. For the ones who were asking about the number of chapters, I still don't know how many, Im just writing and things just happen, but let me tell you this story isn't over yet. The best is yet to come, there so many things that are going to happen, I cant wait that you all read the next chapters. ;)


	21. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick keeps having nightmares and he can't stop feeling helpless. When he begins to feel strange, he doesn't think of anything relevant, until it is.
> 
> Chapter Edited ;)

_Previous 24 hours. _

Dick hasn’t been capable of sleeping well for weeks. Every time he closes his eyes the same damn nightmare infest his dreams. Even if some things change in each dream, they all have something in common. Is always the same people, the people he loves most in the world, dying in front of his eyes. And Dick can never do anything about it. He is simply a witness. He just stays there, screaming until he feels his throat ache and burn. And then he wakes up, screaming almost as piercingly like in the dreams, up till he picks up isn’t real. Almost always someone is by his side, grabbing his hand or stroking his hair. Dick feels much better when he wakes up and finds another pair of familiar eyes looking at him and smiling warmly.

Dick knows who is to blame for those nightmares, he can sense it. And honestly, _he is afraid. Terrified even._ The sorceress is manipulating his dreams, making him see the death of his family. _How can she do it_? _How is she able to get into his head this way_? _Where is she?_ Bruce hasn't found anything about her. It must be impossible for her to get into his head this way, she has to be close somehow. Or maybe she’s too _powerful_, and that only makes her extremely dangerous. And Dick is afraid to tell someone. He’s sure his family assumes something wrong. Tim always gaze him thoughtfully, so does Bruce. Damian is much less discreet and always asks about his nightmares, Alfred always gives him that look that he knows—something—and—hopes—that—Dick—confesses—his—secrets.

‘Tonight's nightmare starts like always. Dick is patrolling the city, everything is and feels so real. He can even feel the cold air brushing his hair. He always appears in front of at an old house on the outskirts of the city. It has a rather strange metal door that doesn’t match with the old structure of the house, it seems like the house can fall apart at any time. Nightwing always walks through that large metal door and sees nothing but darkness. The lenses of his mask show him the way down some old stairs that squeak every time he steps on them. The place smells like moisture and dust. It feels like a haunted house, which gives him the chills while he walks through the darkness. Once he reaches the upper floor, he notes a closed door. There is light coming from under the door. That's when Dick hears the screams, _they're always screaming. _

Dick tries to open the door but he just can’t, and that's when he recognizes the screams. _“Dick! Help me!” _That's Tim's voice, screaming nonstop. Dick always feels tears running down his face when trying to open the door. _“Help me!”_ Damian's voice is what makes him start knocking on the door with all his might. His little brother always sounds so scared. The voices scream his name over and over again. And then, a moment later complete silence is heard. That always takes Dick to the limit, and with one last kick, he opens the door breaking the hinges. Dick runs into the room and the first thing that catches his attention is always a strange portal on the wall, it looks so authentic that he can even feel the electricity hang in the air. It is green and is almost impossible to stop looking at it; as if it hypnotized him. But Dick always manages to look away and that's when he falls to his knees on the floor. Everyone is there, bleeding on the floor. _Dead_. The reason for their deaths is always different, but the way Dick finds them is the same and breaks his heart every time. This time, between sobs Dick can see something move on the ground. _It's... Jason_. Jason extending his hand to him. Dick doesn’t doubt it and crawls towards him, trying to take his hand. When he is about to reach his hand, _his bloody hand_, something begins to pull him toward the portal. No matter how much Dick tries to stop the hand on his ankle, he can never do it. _“D-Dick, this is your fault. You did this…”_ he hears Jason say between harsh breaths. Dick screams and kicks, again and again. But he can never do anything. They drag him to the portal and the last thing he can see are the faces of his family, their bodies lying on the wooden floor, _lifeless_. Jason falls to the ground spitting blood and that's when Dick wakes up suddenly.’

“Dick?” He hears Tim's voice whispering his name. Dick opens his eyes suddenly when he realizes that he is trembling. He sees Tim in the dark of his room. The teenager quickly lights up a small lamp next to his bed and comes back to him, taking his hand. “Did you have another nightmare?”

“Y-yeah...” Dick swallows and instinctively wraps his wings around his body, wrapping himself among the soft feathers. _Seeking for comfort_. He doesn't let go of Tim's hand. “Sorry, did I wake you up? I was screaming?” Dick mumbled.

“You weren’t screaming. I only heard you sobbing and I felt your body shaking,” Tim replied quietly.

“Sorry kiddo,” Dick says trying to smile. But he is sure that doesn’t fool anyone. _Much less Tim_.

“Dick, what's going on? You've been waking up screaming these last weeks, what aren't you telling us?”

“Tim, it's nothing. They are just nightmares, okay? It's just a rough patch of nightmares.”

“Does the sorceress have anything to do with all this?” Tim asks quite seriously and Dick lets out a sigh.

“I'm not sure, ok?” Dick finally doesn't deny it. “It may be a possibility, but I cannot be sure. It can be many things.”

“Hmm, yeah, many things,” Tim grunts rolling his eyes. “And then why didn't you say anything? You know we can help you. We can try to do something, we—”

“Because it's you guys,” Dick sobs and can't help feeling tears rolling out of his eyes. “It's always you all, ok? All of you show up in every nightmare. You’re always dead. How can I not be afraid? What if is a threat? I can't let something happen to you.” Dick lets out a sob again and Tim immediately hugs him. Dick wraps his wings around both.

“They aren’t real, okay? If she really is the one behind this, she just wants to scare you, she wants to keep you feeling this way, _helpless_, you can't let her reach her goal. We're fine, okay? You don’t have to worry about that. You have to tell Bruce,” is what Tim says after several minutes. “You can tell Zatanna, or Constantine, _or someone_. But you need to talk about it, now,” Tim breaks off a little from his hug and looks him in the eye. “I know that in a few days you will return to Blüdhaven, but I don't think it's a good idea you being on your own. Please don’t go.”

“Tim, I need to go back to my city. You know there have been a lot of things happening. The serial killer is slaughtering many people, here in Gotham and Blud. I can't stay locked up and do nothing about it.” 

“We still don't know if it's a serial killer or a gang. And you don't have to worry about that either, we can watch both cities. You don't have to go there alone.”

“Even if I didn't want to leave, you know I need to go back. It's my house Timmy, my responsibility. But if I tell Bruce about this, you know he wouldn't let me go. It doesn't matter that we have talked and clarified things, he will simply have me here, and I don't want to go back to those stupid fights.”

“It's the best Dick, I assure you. Please don't go.” Tim pleads again. Dick closes his eyes for a moment and nods.

“Ok, I will tell him in the morning, okay?”

“Okay.”

Tim stays by his side all night and is a comforting presence beside him. But Dick can't sleep. He can't close his eyes fearing to relive those nightmares again. Much less thinking of Jason saying him that. He doesn’t want to see his broken and almost shattered face. He doesn’t want to see again those turquoise eyes dying before his eyes. _He can't relax_.

And then, that day ends up getting worse in an almost comical way. _Of course it's not funny, but it could be_.

It all starts when Tim wakes up and goes for his usual morning caffeine dose. Dick gets up and it is when he takes notice of a lot of his feathers laying in the bed. It seems strange that they have begun to fall out of nowhere and more of this magnitude. Dick remembers that he had been feeling feathers falling for a few days, but it didn't seem strange. _Until now._

He hides the feathers under the bed and he runs a hand through his hair. He goes to the bathroom of his room and analyzes his wings carefully. They don't seem to have anything strange, but he can distinguish that there are some empty spaces where the feathers should be. He begins to feel itching and is very uncomfortable. Dick takes a quick bath trying to relieve it, but that doesn't help, and he starts catching sight of more feathers falling. He doesn't want to scare anyone or himself, so he dries his feathers as best he can and puts on his ‘vest’. He pays attention to his face, and _wow,_ those are really awful bags under his eyes, and he can also see small drops of sweat falling towards his face. _What the fuck_. He cleans it with the back of his hand and then he changes to his civilian clothes. Dick feels a little strange, the itching on his wings hasn't stopped and it's become quite annoying now.

He goes down the stairs two at a time and he can smell the delicious breakfast Alfred has made. There he finds Tim having his second cup of coffee and Alfred setting the table.

“Good morning Master Richard. Breakfast is ready.”

“Hi Alfie, thanks. Where is Bruce?” Dick notices Bruce's usual spot empty. And it isn’t already time for him to go to work.

“Master Bruce had to leave earlier than usual. He was going to compare the information with Miss Barbara about the supposed serial killer. And then he would go back to work, there’s something wrong, young sir?”

“Oh, no. Everything is okay.” Dick nods and shares a look with Tim. The teenager gives him his best batglare.

“Do you feel good, Master Richard? I notice you a little reddish, and not to mention those bangs.”

“I’m okay. It’s just that last night I couldn't sleep.”

“Hum, I see. Nightmares again? You've been looking very stressed these last weeks. Is everything truly okay lad?” Alfred again gives him that piercing look of _I—know—everything._

“I don’t know. I feel tired,” Dick says, running a hand over his face. “I just need my daily dose of hugs and maybe with that, I can feel better,” Dick says with his prettiest smile. Alfred lets out a small smile and gives him a quick hug.

“I agree, young sir. But maybe I can make you a cinnamon tea, and I would recommend you to take the afternoon off. Everything else can wait.”

“Thanks, Alfie.” Dick beamed letting out a sigh. 

After a few hours, Dick is lying on the couch. Tim hasn’t left his side at all. The teenager had said he didn't have much to do and that he could do things from his laptop. Dick begins to feel a little strange. _His wings want to tell him something,_ the discomfort he feels isn’t normal. But Dick doesn't know what to do. He decides to sleep for a moment, hoping that that makes him feel better. Tim gets closer to his side and begins to stroke his hair.

“Oh Timbo, you know how to coddle your older brother,” Dick says, already closing his eyes at the soft caresses. Tim giggles.

“Sleep. I will be right here.”

Dick can't even say anything else because fatigue makes him lose himself in sleep.

He feels that he rests for several hours. But that doesn’t free him from dreaming again. This time the dream is different. There is no darkness or old houses, no blood or screams, no portals. _But is scary._

‘Dick sees himself walking through a forest. It's cold, and then he realizes he's half-naked. He’s only wearing white pants, something he had never worn before. His large wings are uncovered behind his back, but this time they seem much larger than ever. But Dick continues walking. He feels the passing of what seems eternal hours. He can hear a river and the smooth movement of the water moving. He can hear some birds singing in the distance. But there is nothing else. A few more steps and Dick manages to catch sight of a house in the distance. The closer he gest, he can contemplate a mansion, a beautiful mansion. It seems taken from a fairy tale. Dick gets closer and notices that the door is open, he gets in and observes everything quite impressed. It so elegant, it almost hurts his eyes with the intensity of the white. 

There are antique furniture and sculptures, the white color _stands out_. It reminds him of the manor, _his home_. But this place is very different, everything seems to shine brightly. As Dick advances through the mansion, he finds paintings of angels, sculptures of angels, and that makes him smile. His wings look like those of an angel, and Dick can't help comparing his wings with the paintings. He stays a moment staring at everything and then he finds a big screen, curiously he comes closer and then he can see the news. Everything feels so real, he can even feel the cold floor against his bare feet. Dick sits in the white room and looks at the screen. He frowns at the terrible news, bloody deaths, and how there is a possible serial killer loose. Images of the people they have found begin to appear and Dick squeezes the couch tightly. The images are inhuman. Dick feels he can throw up. That seems much more than a common murder, it is extremely bloody, considering that is Gotham, _for good sake_. He takes the remote control and starts changing the channel, but always a different image comes out as if it had no end, he tries to change the channel over and over again but the TV doesn’t change. Only death and blood continue to appear on the screen. In a moment he feels something fall to the ground and that is when he stares at his hands. Dick lets out a scream as he inspects them, they are full of blood, the white pants are now soaked with red, in his left hand he holds a weird kind of _dagga?_ Dick drops it immediately trying to get away from the pool of blood. He hears an inhuman laugh and he feels chills run down his back. He stares again at the screen as photos of the murders continue to appear. He notices that some of the wounds seem to be made by some sort of knife or something sharp. He looks back at the dagga on the floor and he wonders if it is the same. The same laugh is heard again and Dick covers his ears, staining his face with the blood. Red is the only thing he can see now.’

Dick feels hands touching his face and he lets out a whimper, _no, no, no. It can't be her_, _out, out._ Thoughts of fear and about that strange mansion come to his mind. _The blood, the dead people, the dagga, his hands stained of red._ Then he questions begin to formulate on his mind. _ What if...? _

“Dick! Wake Up!” Dick suddenly awakens and notices Damian and Tim watch him with real concern. Dick releases several quick breaths and realizes he is still on the couch, there is a blanket covering his body. Dick passes a hand over his forehead. His hands are icy compared to his forehead, which is lukewarm.

“What happened?” Dick says suddenly feeling very cold. Damian is the first to speak.

“You were shaking and screaming. And also you were saying things in your sleep. What were you dreaming about, Grayson? Nightmares again?” Damian says with folded arms.

“Yeah, I think… I think it was a nightmare. What was I saying?”

“Something like, _‘No. It's my fault. Go away’_. Are you sure you're okay?” Tim asks looking at him carefully.

“It was just a stupid dream,” Dick explains leaning on the couch. His whole body feels heavy, without energy. “It's nothing to worry about.”

None of his brothers believe him, but they decide to leave him alone. The two sit next to him after a moment, Damian just sitting there, quiet, while Tim starts typing on his laptop again. Dick feels very tired as if he wants to sleep all day, so Dick closes his eyes trying to sleep again, he wants to stop feeling his wings in this way.

Dick loses track of time again, one moment he is asleep again, and then he’s awake and he catches sight of Damian possibly doing homework with a scowl on his face. Tim eats a sandwich while he’s still on his laptop. He has no energy to say something so he falls asleep again.

Many hours later, _is it still day, or is it already night?_ Dick feels his back quite stiff as he sits slowly. He scuffs his eyes trying to keep the fatigue away from his brain. Gradually he realizes that he is no longer on the couch, but on his own bed. Dick tries to stretch and moves his back trying to relax the tense muscles. His wings feel _numb_, and the strange sensation is still there. He looks at the clock on his bedside table and he gets up immediately, feeling a little headache. _Fuck_, _how did he sleep all day?_ He feels his stomach growl, _yes,_ he was definitely lost all day. _Why?_ Regardless of so many hours of rest, Dick doesn't feel well. He feels like he’s about to get sick, _why?_ He gets up slowly and walks to the bathroom, wetting his face trying to open his eyes properly. His face is a _mess_, he still had pronounced dark bangs and red eyes. And since his face is much thinner he seems half dead. Dick feels the need to go back to bed and bury himself between the cozy blankets and pillows, curl up for hours. But he _can't_ do that.

Dick is very sure that if Alfred finds him like this he will not let him out. So he decides to go to the huge window of his room and sneak away as he learned to do years ago, ignoring every muscle protesting with pain while disabling the sophisticated security alert and then he goes through the window, almost in autopilot. Dick jumps, holding on to the branches of a tree and impeccably falling to the ground. _He has been doing this for years_. With that, Dick quickly goes to the garage and looks for his bike, leaving almost silently and heading towards Blüdhaven, where he has another suit. But while Dick moves through the streets, he can't help feeling a little guilty when he leaves like this without saying anything to Alfred, Dick can imagine the sermon that the elder would give him for going out in this irresponsible way. He tries not to succumb to that guilt_. He can't _leave his family alone_._ He has to take care of them, he has to make sure nothing happens to them. The nightmares are still fresh, reminding him that if something happens it would be his fault. _Like everything else._

Dick can't allow that. _He won’t._

Once he arrives at his apartment a few hours later, the first thing he does is shut the door and lean against it. _Hell_, he feels exhausted and he hasn't even gone out on patrol. A headache begins to appear and he wants to sleep, but he can’t. He goes to his hidden closet to find what he is looking for.

He quickly puts on his Nightwing suit, everything feels so _heavy_. Dick really feels the need to lie down. For some reason, he wants to curl on something warm and stay like that for days. But he takes that thought away again while he finishes putting everything in its place. Once ready, _or as ready as he could be_, Nightwing comes out the window and goes around the city, taking his time because he hadn’t patrolled here on his own for a very long time. Every time Nightwing reaches a new roof, he has to wait a few seconds to catch his breath. His body feels exhausted. After a moment, Nightwing turns on his comms hoping to hear about the others. It doesn't take him long to hear their voices. Dick hears the conversation between Batman, Robin, and Red Robin, witch parts of the city they are being divided to patrol with a wider range to look for the city in his absence. Also, search for clues of the new serial killer. Dick feels chills remembering his dream. 

_Is she pulling the threads and moving the peons?_ _What does she want from him_? All those months without knowing anything about her, and now out of nowhere, she wants something. _Why can't she leave him alone?_ Dick had never wanted this, he never had asked for this curse. And although he must now accept that the wings mean something to him, they are still something he didn’t ask for. _Can he live with them for the rest of his life?_ Well, that's another story. So many things have changed in these months. His body, his mind, his spirit. But thanks to great people, he had managed to overcome every challenge, get up from his broken pieces and slowly rebuild his pieces. _She’s is just one more test, just one more villain._

The wings were another test, and Dick knows that he already loves them, the wings are part of his life, something unexpected, something that wasn’t according to the plan. If someone had told him that one day he would have wings, he would have laughed very loud. Now, _well, it’s real._

The important thing now is to stop her. He won't let her touch the most important things in his life, the people who mean the world for him. He will not allow someone to take away his family again. If winning means losing everything, Dick is willing to give everything, _no matter the cost_. No matter how powerful she is. There’s always a weakness. There’s always a price to _pay._

Dick passes a hand over his forehead, feeling sweat accumulate there. His body feels worse and worse, each step is heavier than the last. But Dick ignores it. _He has to be here_, protecting the city.

“Nightwing? Why are you patrolling?” Dick hears through his comm. He lets out a sigh and he leans against a wall. Well, it didn't take them long to discover he had escaped. _Here ends the anonymity._

“Because it's my job, Batman.”

“The last time I saw you, you were almost passed out on the couch, and when I left you in bed you were completely lost. So I ask again, why are you out?” Batman hissed with his typical reproach tone.

“I’m perfectly fine. I was just tired. You didn't have to leave without me.” Dick whined like a little boy.

“Please Grayson, you were totally exhausted. How is it that you have not fallen asleep yet?” Robin growls at the comms, _like father, like son._

“No names in the field.” Batman grunts.

“How did Agent A let you out?” Red Robin joins the conversion and Robin can be heard growling even more.

“I'm a big guy Red. That means I don't have to ask for permission to go out, ok? I know what I am doing,”

“No,” is the immediate answer of the three. _Dick rolls his eyes_.

“But ‘wing, you didn't look fine in the morning. There isn’t anything important going tonight, everything is really quiet.”

“I'll just go for a routine patrol and if I don't see anything interesting I'll go back to the cave, ok?”

“Nightwing, you are too far from our location. Blüdhaven has shown no signs of any unusual activity. If it is true that you are not well, you should not be outside. Even less without backup,” Batman insisted again.

“I'll go, I'm closer,” Robin growls as if it annoys him to go to him. _Everyone knows that it is not true._ “Stay there.”

“No, I should go. I planned to go there anyway before finishing my patrol. I have promised ‘wing that I will watch his city.” Red Robin replied.

“Nobody is talking to you, cretin,” Robin says through clenched teeth.

“If I remember correctly, nobody asked you either to go with ‘wing.”

“I am the closest. Strategically I am the best option.”

“Enough.” Batman orders clearly stressed having to hear three of his sons fight over the comms.

“Yeah, shut your mouth dipstick,” Robin says and everyone makes a surprised noise, _well, everyone but Batman._

“Where did you hear that word?” Nightwing says clearly altered.

“Jason.”

“Robin,” Batman growls.

Dick can't help feeling a little pain when he hears Jason's name. How much he wishes to Jason be here. Dick hasn't heard much from Red Hood. It seems that Jason did take his word to disappear for a while very seriously.

Dick hears as everyone starts fighting again and he lets out a little smile. _Some things never change._

It is then that he pays attention to a truck that is quite suspicious. The truck starts to give turns around, trying to mislead a possible follower. With the lenses of his mask, he zooms in watching the van enter a parking lot. Nightwing switch to heat vision, he sees several men leaving the truck. He can half distinguish weapons under his clothes. Everyone takes the elevator. Dick checks the building and stars looking for information about the owner through his glove. A rich guy, not very well-known. He doesn’t seem to have ties to the mafia or suspicious affiliations. But his instinct tells him that something doesn’t seem right, the guys must be up to something.

Nightwing shoots his grappling hook and moves closer to the building. He scans the rest of the building, there are 5 floors.

“I think I found some suspicious guys. I'm going to take a closer look.” Nightwing states.

“Nightwing, wait…” Batman starts to demand but Nightwing answers first.

“This is easy cake. I'm just going to make some recognition.”

“Grayson—”

But Dick deactivates his comms before he can hear anything else. He makes some movements trying to relax his sore muscles. The truth is that he doesn't feel better. He even wonders if it is a good idea to move forward feeling like this. His common instinct tells him no, that he should leave, or wait for backup. But Dick is curious because these men are clearly armed. What are they doing in an unoccupied building in the middle of the night?

So with all the agility he can manage, he throws his grappling hook towards the ceiling. Once he arrives, he finds a door locked. With a pin, he opens the lock and slowly starts going down thought a careless staircase. He can hear laughter in the distance. He reaches a dark hallway and he spots several closed doors, at the end of the hall there is light coming out of a room, all the voices come from there. Nightwing enters the adjacent room and tries to hear the conversation. The rooms are old and dusty, they look like what it used to be an abandoned office. He finds holes in the walls, probably made by bullets. He gets closer and he sees several cracks on the wall, most likely because the building is old and there is dampness everywhere, he can observe through the crack the thugs. They are around a table with one briefcase, Nightwing cannot clearly see what it contain, but can hear that they are selling at a great price whatever this merchandise is. 

“You heard me well gentlemen. Times have changed, with the arrival of the so-called ‘heroes’,” Everyone laughs. “We must expand too. Our weapons are no longer enough against those bastards. We need something better, something to kill them once and for all.” The guy who is talking points out to the suitcase. “That's why I came here tonight. I have a few interesting things up my sleeve.”

“I hope it's something valuable and doesn't waste our time,” a guy interrupts while smoking his cigarette. “Everyone claims they have the best weapons, but in the end, they can't contest against those clowns in leotards.”

“Believe me, Mr. Fitzpatrick. These weapons can compete against that idiot of Batman and his chicks. With this technology, even their ridiculous costumes can prevent the blow.” Nightwing frowns, _all right_. This is much worse than it seemed. They are not simple thugs, Nightwing begins to collect information, trying to recognize the several men. Moving a little away from the wall, Nightwing turns on his comms again.

“Guys, I think this is more important than I thought,” Nightwing whispers as he has to look for support on the wall. “Apparently they are going to sell modified weapons to face us. If what they say is true, they can do a lot of damage.”

“Do you recognize anyone?” Red Robin asks a second later.

“No, I don’t have many coincidences, but the only name that seems most meaningful to me is Fitzpatrick,” Nightwing mumbles pulling the damp hair away from his face.

“Hm, a second class gangster. He got out of jail a few months ago. It seems that guy has a great interest in high caliber weapons,” Red Robin says after a moment. “However, he’s not from Blüdhaven. I don’t know why they meet there.”

“Most likely because Nightwing has not been seen much wandering around, they take advantage that there is no one supposedly out there,” Robin says joining the conversation. “They are simple and boring losers.”

“Maybe, but it seems they have powerful weaponry,” Nightwing replies.

“I see your location. Stay undercover. Gather the most information you can about who will acquire these weapons and who is selling them. I'm on my way.” Batman grunts.

Nightwing disconnects his comms and he can't help sitting down for a moment. This is bigger than him, he can't face them in this state. He looks at the location of Batman and the others heading towards him.

Dick closes his eyes for a moment trying not to make much noise. Everything sounds far away. He moves his shoulders trying to relax the muscles. He feels that he can fall asleep right there, but with all his strength, he gets up and gets closer to the wall again. It is hard for him to concentrate on hearing the conversation, but he tells himself that this is his job. The thugs are analyzing the weapons, they don't seem very big, but that doesn't mean they aren't dangerous.

“As you can see, it is a trim and simple design. They do not seem very dangerous, therein lays the real trick. This beauty contains a long-range and triggers a magnetic pulse that hurts like fucking hell, regardless of the protection the fuckers may have. On top of that, it fires a small portion of a drug that paralyzes the body, no matter how immune they are. You can send the great Batman to the ground.”

Nightwing frowns again. It sounds too good to be true. He is almost certain that it would be almost impossible to take down Batman, but something tells him that such weapons shouldn’t be taken lightly. So many times in the past people have created weapons powerful enough to tear the Kevlar, but Bruce always upgrades the suits, one step ahead of those weapons. But combining electricity and drugs, _well_, that's another story.

Dick releases a small cough, he slumps to the floor. He can’t longer pay much attention, his mind wanders towards his king-size bed, waiting for him.

A moment later he closes his eyes, feeling that his body is ready to sleep. He loses a small fragment of time. But then he hears nothing but silence. Dick frowns, _why everything is quiet when a moment ago there was noise?_ He doesn’t remember what he was doing there, he opens his eyes slowly, just then a bullet swipes his knee by centimeters, Nightwing immediately becomes alert and he remembers what he was doing there. _Weapons, bad guys, stop them!_ He can hear a fight unfolding and as everyone is shooting everywhere. Nightwing stands up as quickly as he can.

“_Damn_. They are blowing their brains out. I—I don't know why...”

“Get away immediately. Don't interfere, we're 6 min over.” Batman demands hurriedly. Before Nightwing can respond, he hears a huge explosion rumble the building_. Well, actually he feels it first_. As he can, he covers his face feeling pieces of wall and other things flying in all directions, Nightwing growls when he feels something crush him. He kind of hears the voice of B on his ear but his ears are buzzing. Quickly, he tries to remove the pieces of things from his body. He blinks several times trying to focus his gaze through the dust and the flames that are left on the ground. He can distinguish a figure holding a weapon.

“Gentlemen, this deal is over,” the voice grunts. “I keep everything. Thanks for coming.” Nightwing rises among the remains of wood and recognizes the thug, is Fitzpatrick, who is shooting the guys on the ground, blood begins to spread over the floor. The whole room is shattered, the window and half the wall are both destroyed and the cold night air blows the dust and everything that was shattered with the explosion.

“Fitzpatrick, I'm not surprised that you've blown everything up, after all, you're a madman, right?” Nightwing says between quick breaths.

“Wow, look what the tide brought. Nightwing, I had not heard from you for a while. Have you been spying hidden in the shadows? Kinky.” The guy answers as he takes the suitcase full of weapons. “I heard rumors that you had left us, but I see that they were false. Blüdhaven has his protective bastard again.”

“Hey, you don't have to sound so rude, if you want an autograph you just have to ask for it, I won't judge you,” Nightwing mumbles while trying to come up with a plan. _He is not 100% okay to face this guy, but he is just a regular guy, right?_ He needs to stop him before he leaves with the weaponry. Or distract him enough in what the cavalry arrives.

“You always use that big mouth of yours, don't you?” Fitzpatrick says as he takes a gun and points it at him. “That's why I won't miss you, see you in hell, _Nightwing_.”

“Oh, that's getting ahead of the facts. I can assure you that’s not true. _I have literally wings_.” Nightwing says releasing one of those annoying grins. 

Without thinking, he throws with all his strength his escrima stick towards the guy's face. He blocks the stick with the suitcase, but Nightwing doesn’t give him time to compound and immediately rushes towards him, hitting the gun of his hand. Fitzpatrick growls and gives a good blow to his face, Nightwing is too slow to prevent the blow, the pain explodes in his jaw, but he isn’t allowed to move away and he throws a kick towards the guy. He thug recovers and begins a series of blows. It is a clean and very equal fight. Dick knows that if he didn't feel so sick, he would be done with this by now, but his body is too tired. Nightwing kicks the briefcase away and throws a wingding towards Fitzpatrick's shoulder, who screams when the wingding pierces his cloth. He pounces on him and Nightwing cannot avoid the series of punches towards his face and stomach, he bends in pain and then he manages to come apart with a kick to the chest, Fitzpatrick stays away squeezing his chest. Nightwing can feel the air from the broken window behind his back. 

“I thought you would be more indestructible, you hear many stories out there. Turns out you're just a useless coward under that mask,” the guy spits blood at his feet. “And now you're going to die alone.”

“I can't die before I taste the new Crunchy Crunch,” Nightwing says as he stands up with enough effort. _Where are you Batman!?_ And just when that thought comes to his mind, he can hear footsteps in the hall, and he can't help smiling. What was left of the door is knocked down in a second, and the shadow of something passes by, a second later Batman appears.

“Put the gun down,” Batman's scariest voice makes Fitzpatrick jump in his place. “Put it down _now_.”

But before anyone can move, Fitzpatrick pulls the trigger for pure inertia. Nightwing cannot do anything when he feels the impact against his shoulder, the pain is immediate, the electric shock makes him feel his body tremble uncontrollably, electricity spasms run through his body, for a moment everything happens in slow motion, he can see Batman bring down the thug, but Nightwing can't even think clearly when his legs fail and then that's when he realizes _he's falling. _

“Nightwing!” Dick is sure he can hear Batman's voice but can't do anything as he feels himself falling. He doesn't have time to throw his grappling hook, he doesn't have time to try to move his body and fall without doing much damage, he doesn’t have time to freak out. The last thing he can see is the shadow of something going in his direction, but at that moment Dick shuts his eyes when his body hits something.

Everything is _dark._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooorry, poor Dickie I know :( im a bad person for making him suffer like this.
> 
> Did you already know what was happening to Dick? I hope that I put enough clues so that you know what it was. If you don't, well, Dick is having his first molt. Soon, it will be explained better. But yeah, when a bird has his molt (depending on the kind of bird), the molt affects his body. To Dick, is like that. That's why he feels the need to lie down and sleep (like nest), that's why his body is so tired. 
> 
> Any questions? <3
> 
> PD: The dreams are important, don't forget about them.


	22. My Love Will Never Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason arrives at the cave to know what happened to Dick. The family has a conversation and Jason opens with Dick.

Jason arrives at the cave in what looks like a blink, but it really felt like an eternal agony. Long and agonizing minutes. His mind is so distracted. Not knowing what is happening makes him feel anxious. He hates this feeling of uncertainty, _of weakness._ Once he parks his bike, Jason takes a few seconds to take some deep breaths, ‘_keep your head cool’_, it's what Jason repeats mentally as he takes off his helmet and shoots into the cave. The first thing he sees is the Replacement leaning on a wall, looking at the void. Jason tries to look normal, not like he's growing with concern. 

“Timbo.” Jason can't help the nickname coming from his lips, Tim looks up and gives him a small smile, but the smile is ruined by his reddish eyes, he looks distressed.

“Jason, thanks for coming so fast.” Tim begins to say as he runs a hand through his hair. “I didn't think you would.” He murmurs quietly. 

“Why wouldn't? What's going on? Where is Dickface?” Jason snaps trying to hide his worry. Tim examines him closely, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“Are you drunk?” Tim asks instead and Jason grunts making an exasperated gesture with his hands.

“That isn’t your business dork, what happened to Dickface?”

“Do you remember what Constantine had said about that Dick could have a molt?” Tim replies instead and Jason raises his eyebrow.

“What the fuck? Are you calling me because Dickie here is becoming a fucking bird? Is that the ‘problem’?” Jason hisses crossing both arms around his chest. But by the look in Tim's face, he knows there is something _else_. Jason wants to stop feeling that lump in his throat.

“Jason,” Tim says with a tired sigh. “You know I wouldn't call you if it wasn't anything serious. Dick was patrolling in Blüdhaven despite feeling a little sick. He didn't know he was having a molt. He found some criminals selling modified weapons.” Tim explains noticeably ruffled about it. “The point is that in the time he waited for us to arrive, an idiot flew the damn floor to keep the guns and Dick faced him and—”

“Go to the fucking point. _What happened to Dick?_” Jason grunts clenching his jaw.

“He fell from the fifth floor,” Tim answers immediately.

“What!_?_ How did he fell from a fifth-floor? Dick is literally a damn bird. He lives up there! And you tell me he just _fell_?” Jason yells without being able to avoid it.

“Dick was weak because of the molt, he was not in a position to fight, and the weapon he was trying to stop was modified to face us. It shoots an electric shock and a drug that paralyzes the body, Dick had no chance to do anything.” Tim hums angrily.

“And where were you, _huh_? Where was the almighty Batman? Stopping the guy instead of saving his precious golden son?” Jason snaps with rage, _with so much poison in his voice._

“Where were you?” Tim answers calmly looking into his eyes. Both know the answer to that question.

Jason opens his mouth about to say something and closes it a second later. Guilt floods his system, that guilt that creeps through his bones and makes him feel more vulnerable than ever. Is true. While Goldie was risking his life doing well. _Where was Jason when Dick needed him?_ He was in a fucking bar, drowning in alcohol, breaking his promise of looking after him. Anger leaves his body and is replaced by _guilt_. For the way Tim looks at him, he’s sure his face shows off all his emotions, his _regret_. Jason wishes to have his helmet back on. 

“Look, I don't want to blame anyone, ok? It was an accident. I am not reproaching you for anything. Dick is an adult and he knows how to take care of himself, today just... it was simply a course of unfortunate events.” Tim stuttered letting out a sigh.

“How is he?” Jason asks slowly.

“Here.”

Tim doesn't wait for an answer and turns around, heading to the cave's infirmary. _Ha, what money can buy_. Both enter through the door in silence and that is when Jason stands still for a moment, staring the scene in front of his eyes.

Damian is sitting on a small sofa in front of a hospital bed, the demon looks tense and ready to start bloodshed. Bruce is sitting in a chair beside the same bed, staring at the motionless figure lying there. The old man's face looks grim and _tired._

That's when Jason takes the courage to meticulously check out Goldie. His face has small cuts and bruises, the bruises look dark-purple that contrasts against his pale skin. He has a black eye that seems painful. He has a nasal cannula as well as several connected devices checking his vital signs. Jason lowers his gaze, and that’s when he feels that sick feeling again. Dick's wings are sort of visible behind his back, and they look really _hurt_. There are many rosy empty spaces where those glowing white feathers used to be. Now they look sick and fragile. They had always seen fragile to Jason like if he touched one feather it would fall, but when he placed his hands on the wings they were strong, powerful. But now, _now they look in bad shape_. Even Jason can see little band-aids on both wings. Dick has his right arm immobilized against his chest, there is a bandage on his shoulder as well. He cannot see other wounds insight under the blanket that covers the rest of his body, but he’s sure there are more. 

“Jason.” Bruce's voice makes him look away from Goldie for a moment. Jason realizes that he had stayed frozen like an idiot in the middle of the room. Slowly, he gets closer to the bed, feeling that lump in his throat grows even more with every step.

“Bruce.” Jason tries not to growl his name and instead stands by the side of the bed, not wanting to get away from Dick not even for a second.

“Todd,” Damian hisses looking at him with despise. “Who told you that you could come?”

“I called him,” Tim answers while holding a cup of coffee.

“Why? Todd has nothing to do here. He is not welcome.” Damian answers.

“Damian, stop it.” Bruce orders. He runs a hand over his tired face, but he doesn't look away from Dick.

“Because when Dick wakes up, he would like Jason to be here like the rest of us,” Tim says instead. Jason clears his throat.

“What the fuck happened?” Jason asks trying not to sound so desperate for an answer. But Jason knows very well that his face is easy to read, his emotions are painted on his face for those who know what to seek. 

“He fell about 15 meters high,” Bruce grunts after a few seconds. “His wings absorbed most of the blow and for that reason, the consequences were not so serious, save for a few broken ribs, a strain on his right shoulder, a sprained ankle, as well as severe bruises on his back. We are not sure yet but it is possible that he has a concussion due to the fall, but until he wake up from the drug we can’t do the other correspondent studies.” 

“Don't forget the bullet impact on the shoulder that caused all this.” Damian hisses.

“Yeah, we do not forget about that,” Bruce says leaning back against the chair. “Leslie came a few hours ago to give a second opinion and complement the diagnostic.” 

“You will imagine her surprise when she saw the wings,” Tim says with a small smile. “She was so surprised that she asked me to pinch her.”

“She recommended that we let the drug leave his system alone, blood samples indicate nothing out of the ordinary about the drug. Until the effect passes we can administrate something for the pain,” Bruce ignores Tim's words. “The MRI shows no signs of brain damage or cerebral hemorrhage, so even though it was a risky fall, Dick is not in any imminent danger.” 

“Now we just need to know more about the molt. I read about it, but I dunno if Dick’s will be similar,” Tim says sitting next to Damian, who throws daggers with his eyes at the teenager.

“We need an expert's opinion, not yours.” Damian snaps, Tim just rolls his eyes. 

“As soon as Dick recovers a bit from his injuries, Constantine will come again to give his opinion. As far as we know, it is not something alarming or that will put his health at risk, it should take a few days for the feathers to fall entirely and a few weeks more so that the new ones grow.” Bruce informs and Jason crosses his arms. 

“And then what, _huh_?” Jason speaks for the first time, everyone pays attention to him. “The magician comes and tells us his humble opinion but not any solution. The sorceress is still out there, planning something and we are not doing anything. Dick is vulnerable and this only shows that this is what she wants.”

“We can't guess her plans, or fight directly against her. We wouldn’t win against her powers,” Bruce growls looking at him. Admitting that he’s under a lot of disadvantage is difficult for the old man. “We can only prepare for the worst and make sure we have the best protection against her. We can't do anything against this Jason, we can't disappear the wings even if we wanted to.” 

“No, but we must stop her at any cost,” Jason exclaims feeling powerlessness against the situation, against _everything_. “This is only part of her plan, Dick is having nightmares and nobody seems to connect the damn things. She is causing all this! She’s manipulating his head and we don't know what else she can do against him. We must hunt her down and stop her once and for all.” 

“And what have you done all this time Todd?” Damian says pointing a finger in his direction. “Just make a fuss and criticize us. But remember you asked Grayson for space and then just walked away from him, you didn't do your part about taking care of his back. Where were you tonight, _huh_? Getting drunk in a bar like the failure you are?” Jason clenches both fists trying to control the urge to hit the little fucker. But a part of him, a small part, _knows it's true_.

“Damian, stop it. We are not going to blame anyone. We cannot afford to split now. We need all the possible help if we want to face her. The only important thing now is that Dick recovers and we can make a strategy against her. It's what we should focus on.” Tim says taking everyone's attention back, Bruce nods.

“Tim is right. We can’t focus on the past. What matters now is to be ready for anything.” Bruce says leaning his face on his palm, thinking a thousand times an hour. “About the nightmares, clearly she wants to manipulate Dick. I'm not sure if she had anything to do with this incident, but we can't rule out anything.”

“Of course it's her fault. If she hadn't bewitched Grayson any of this would have happened,” Damian says a little calmer. “Everything that happens to Grayson is her fault.” Dick lets out a small groan and they all shut up right away, watching the little bird. Jason gets closer to the bed and he is about to bring his hand close, but he controls himself and simply stares at his face. Dick must have pain, a lot of pain. _Fuck. Or maybe he’s just really high. With isn’t better. _

“Master Jason, it's so good to see you. It took a while to you to came back,” Alfred's voice floods the room and Jason gives the elder a small smile. “Master Dick should wake up soon, and he will do it with a lot of pain. Please stop the arguing. Richard doesn't need any of this. We need to do a final check to make sure everything is okay and administer a painkiller so his injuries don’t hurt much. The questions will be for later.”

_No one contradicts Alfred._ Everyone nods while once more the silence overtakes the room.

Alfred kindly prepares a tea to calm the tension in the room and Jason accepts a cup. He places both hands around the cup enjoying the heat emanate towards his cold clammy hands. Jason pulls a chair across from Goldie and sits down with a sigh. These are going to be long long hours, _again_. There is nothing worse than waiting, waiting for those baby blues to open so that everyone can relax a little knowing that Goldie is fine. Or at least without any pain. The amounts of feathers that keep falling scared Jason. It is not as if he didn’t know about the molts, he remembers very briefly how Dick explained to him that subject, but no one thought that it would really happen. It still seems so unreal all this. Goldie really has the wings of a bird, his body changed and even now he has to go through molts. But his face, _his face still looks like an angel's. _

“How did you find out about the nightmares?” Tim asks casually after a long time of silence (_hours, maybe?_) Jason raises his eyebrow looking away from Goldie.

“A few weeks ago the demon came to me quite worried about his older brother. He gave me all the details of those nightmares.” Jason comments and then Damian gives him a heavy look. Before Tim can respond, Damian throws a pillow at his face, Jason barely catches the projectile. 

“That's not true!” Damian exclaims. “You were the one who whined about Richard being in danger and who started all that crap about taking care of Grayson from afar. I simply confirmed my participation in your plans, and just to make sure your stupidity didn't put Richard in any risk.”

“_Ha-ha_. Sure brat. We all know that if Goldie asked you to blow up a planet, you would ask which one.” Jason can't help letting out a wicked smile as he sees Damian's cheeks turn red. Bruce hides a smile as he drinks from his cup. 

“You speak as if you were not willing to do the same for Grayson, and it is also merely a stupidity to use the metaphor of destroying an entire planet, which I can’t. _Yet._” Damian says trying to regain his dignity, but everyone can still see his reddish cheeks.

“Whatever. The important thing is to know if those nightmares have a purpose, or rather, _what purpose it is_.” Jason says returning his eyes back to Goldie. 

“One night ago, Dick woke up crying and trembling with fear,” Tim begins to say. “When I asked him what he was dreaming about, he told me that his dreams were about us — that we were dead,” Tim swallows. “He was terrified to tell me about it, he felt that it could be a warning, that's why he didn’t say anything about his nightmares. He was terrified.” 

“Mmm.” Bruce wrinkled his forehead. “It's very predictable that she wants to scare Dick. To show him his worst nightmares so that Dick feels responsible in some way if something happens, make him feel guilty, so that he commits a mistake, like doing what she asks in exchange for his nightmares not becoming true. It is a twisted and heartless manipulation. And the worst part of that is that Dick is very susceptible to falling into the trap.” Bruce ends saying with that face of defeat again. Jason now understands that everyone is feeling the same as him, for a moment, just for this moment, everyone is on the _same channel. _

“And what can we do about it?” Tim asks, biting his lip. “Dick is very affected by his nightmares, he feels that this it's his entire fault, I don't know how to make him see that it's not like that.”

“It is impossible for Richard not to be a martyr. He always decides to heed his emotions rather than think with reason. He is a sentimental fool. I have repeated to him so many times that it could kill him but Richard never listens. He insists on carrying his heart under his sleeve and I doubt we can do anything about it.” Damian says, rolling his eyes. His words might seem harsh, but the way he says it doesn’t show malice, but rather hidden fondness. 

“Damian is right,” Bruce says in a calm tone as if he was reliving old memories. “Dick has always used his heart to make decisions. I always tried to make him change that. I warned him that in this kind of life, letting himself be ruled by the heart could be mortal. But Dick always ignored my words. And that made him became the kind of man he is now. There is no way to change him.” 

Jason moves from the chair uncomfortably. This conversation is getting very deep. It's one of the few times Jason has heard Bruce talk about the past so openly and without sounding regretful. It's like watching a part of Bruce that seems unreal. Jason still feels sometimes that uncontrollable anger towards him, but the time has healed him a little. Gradually that fury stops being so intense and Jason feels that for the first time since he walked out the grave, he doesn't hate Bruce. To that damaged man, who, despite having made so many mistakes, tried to be a good ideal. It didn’t work the way he expected, (at least not with him). But the proof is that everyone has changed, is right here. 

All of them in the same room, without arguing or beating the crap out of each other. They are trying talking to each other, like a _fucking family_. 

All of that for that occupant in the bed.

“So? If we can't make Dick see that none of this is his fault and he doesn't have to carry more weight on his shoulders. What are we going to do?” Tim mutters.

“We will protect him,” Damian says for once not sounding petulant. Instead, he sounds unquestionable.

“We have to join forces,” Bruce says nodding. “It's only a matter of time before the sorceress may appear and carried out what she plans. We can't ignore her powers, she’s too dangerous and we can't defeat her alone. But what she doesn't know is that we are willing to give everything to protect one of ours.”

Jason nods and for once he doesn't say a sarcastic comment, nor does he reproach that he would have wished to hear those same words addressed to him many many years ago. Jason has grown up, and he knows that if he really wants to grant forgiveness and let the past go once and for _all_, he has to accept that he was never and will not be the favorite son. He’s the black sheep in the family. Redemption for him came in another way. It arrived in the form of beautiful bright eyes and a warm smile. And for him, Jason is willing to do everything. _Absolutely everything. _

Another groan is heard but this time louder. Jason stands up without thinking and observes that Goldie begins to blink slowly, recognizing his surroundings. His wings move a little and Dick wrinkles his forehead. After a few minutes, Dick shakes his head slowly and focuses his eyes on him.

“Dick?” Bruce asks first, Dick looks away from Jason for a moment watching Bruce.

“Bruce—” Dick whispers after a few seconds trying to smile, but it looks more like a grimace. Jason clears his throat and Dick returns his eyes to him.

“Hey Goldie, can you hear me?” Jason says slowly, feeling like a fool because he speaks so softly. “How you feel?”

“Jay,” Goldie mumbles. His pupils are out of focus. “It’s really ‘u?” Jason doesn’t have time to answer because the demon speaks first. 

“Grayson?” Damian sounds with obvious emotion in his voice. Goldie gives him a sleepy smile. 

“Hey ‘ddo,” Dick mutters and when he tries to move he lets out a little whining as he moves his chest, possibly from the broken ribs. 

“I don't recommend that Master Richard, I need you to take deep breaths and avoid moving your body sharply.” Alfred interrupts appearing out of nowhere. He is the true stealth in the family. The elder watches Jason with a small smile. “Would you be so kind as to let me check our patient, Master Jason?” Alfred asks, gesturing at his hand, that’s when Jason realizes he's holding Goldie's hand. He immediately moves away feeling his cheeks getting red. Jason feels Bruce's gaze on him, but he ignores him completely. 

Alfred approaches a small flashlight and brings it close to Goldie's eyes.

“Can you follow the light Master Richard?”

“I'll ‘ry,” Dick answers softly and tries to follow Alfred's instructions. He’s very sensitive to the light. Soon Tim lowers the intensity of the light leaving the room in half-light. He clearly has a concussion. Alfred does the basic tests and makes him recite the alphabet backward and forwards. He asks him simple questions and gradually increases the intensity. Goldie has a hard time answering sometimes but in the end, he manages to answer everything, _kinda_.

“Very well, it seems that you have a concussion but nothing too serious. Do you feel any dizziness, vertigo, a headache?”

“Dizzy,” Dick replies trying to touch his forehead but lets out a groan as he tries to move his immobilized right arm. “Ouch, that hurt. What happened? Why do I feel like a truck passed all over my body over and over again?” Dick tries to sit down again but lets out another groan. 

“Stop.” Bruce slowly approaches putting a hand on Dick's chest to keep him from getting up. “Don't try to get up, stay there. What is the last thing you remember?” Bruce asks calmly, pulling the messy hair away from Dick's face.

“Mm, I was— patrolling. And then— something about bad guys, fire, pain, and then— ‘bang’.” Tim can't help letting out a small laugh and putting his palm on his forehead, even Bruce must restrain himself. Not even Damian can resist. 

“That ‘bang’, was a fall from 15 meters and all because you are too stubborn to follow orders. Not to mention that you didn't say anything about that you felt bad and despite of the fact, you decided to go out and face those cretins without being 100% functional and now that cost you some broken ribs, arm and multiple wounds. Now we have to add a concussion to the list of your nonsense.” Damian says quickly. Trying not to smile when he sees his brother smile at him stupidly. _Goldie didn't understand anything Damian said. _

“Dami, you speak very fast. But don't worry, I'm fine.” Goldie answers casually. But he has his good hand on his chest, holding his sore ribs. Alfred wrinkles his forehead.

“You are in no position to affirm such things young sir, you are very lucky that your wings took the worst of that impact because otherwise, it would be a rather different story.” 

“My wings? How are my wings?” Goldie asks as he tries to direct his eyes to his back. Slowly he moves his left-wing and brings it close to his chest. He makes an expression of pain when he closely observes the empty spaces and pink areas due to the fall of the feathers. “Ouch, this doesn't look good at all. _What is happening?_ Where are all my feathers?” Goldie asks making a pout. Jason has to bit his lip to not let out a stupid smile.

“You're having a molt Dick, don’t worry. Do you remember anything I explained about it?” Tim asks slowly.

“Uh, no, I don't remember much Timmy, I'm sorry,” Dick replies with a sad smile. “But this looks awful, it looks like they are falling apart.”

“Most of the feathers are going to fall,” Tim says. “And new ones are going to start growing, I still don't know how long it may take, I won't look pretty for a couple of days. But calm down, your wings will be fine.” 

“You promise?” Goldie asks like a little boy, Tim gives him a comforting smile.

“I promise ‘wing, everything will be fine. Your wings look bad but it's something that happens with the molt. It's completely normal, in a couple of weeks they will look as usual.”

“And they'd be better if you hadn't come out to patrol without backup, none of this would have happened,” Damian growls, crossing both arms.

“Sorry kiddo, my fault. I didn't mean to cause this. ” Goldie says looking at his wing slowly.

“Enough talk about that, what happened happened and there is no way to change it. Now, if you allow me to check you one last time to be totally sure that everything is under control before I can give you any pain reliever.” Alfred says.

“Sorry Alfie, just don't take long because I really feel like I fell from the sky and not in a fun way.”

Jason rolls his eyes. It's good to see him more lucid with every second. The only bad thing is that his face also begins to change when his wounds begin to feel more and more without the paralyzing drug in his body. Alfred and Bruce rush to do the tests and scanners now that the little bird is awake. After what seems like hours, and everything seems to be in order, Goldie is finally given an analgesic and a sedative. Dick looks ready to sleep for another 12 hours straight. 

Jason stays by his side as the drugs begin to take effect.

“Jay, you're ‘lly here,” Dick says with a stupid sleepy smile. Jason can't help returning it.

“Where else could it be?” Jason comments very softly, hoping no one will listen.

“Don‘t go, please. I'm on very good drugs, and I don't want to wake up ‘n see you 've vanished again,” Dick tries to say, he slowly begins to fall asleep but is struggling to stay awake, _to tell Jason that_. “I missed ‘u so much Jay, don't go, please,” 

“I am not going anywhere. Never again.” Jason says feeling a pain in his chest when he sees the hope in Goldie's eyes. _Fuck._

“’lly?” Dick says closing his eyes but trying to move his good hand towards him, Jason holds it with a little doubt, but then gives a strong squeeze.

“I promise,” 

With that Dick is finally still, medicine and pain meds doing their job. The whole place is silent again. Jason loses track of time and reminds him of the first nights when he took care of Dick while recovering from his wings. And now it's almost the same scenario, _only that everything has changed._

Tim and Bruce stay close, but they are checking the weapons that Dick tried to stop. Dismantling the pieces and trying to track their origin of manufacture and those responsible for making them so that Batman can bring them to justice. (_Jason plans his own pursuit, finding the Fitzpatrick who shot Dick and put his life at risk._ _He plans to teach him a lesson for hurting Dickiebird. And no one is going to stop him.)_ Damian is lying on the couch in front of the bed, sleeping. Alfred comes every hour and checks Goldie. So Jason is basically his provisional nurse.

Time goes flying, but it feels eternal. The counter-clockwise moves so _slowly._

Jason eats one of the specialties Alfred prepared for him and spends several hours reading one of his old favorite novels. He also takes a quick shower and changes into something more comfortable. Leslie comes around to check Dick's scanners' results and report that the wonder boy is relatively well and out of danger. He gives Alfred a list of medications and indications for the coming weeks, in which his wounds heal properly_. (And yes, she still can't believe that the wings are real and ask Tim to pinch her a second time.) _

When night comes, Jason realizes he is finally alone with Dick. Everyone went to patrol as usual and left him in charge of Dickiebird. It feels good to have the confidence to take care of the blue-eyed. Jason stretches his tight muscles and sits back in the chair, close enough to be able to monitor him better. He still feels that lump in his throat, which doesn’t let him breathe okay. It's a pressure in his chest that pleads him to say something, to talk to Goldie, but he's asleep, his mind unreachable now. And Jason must stay there, _waiting and waiting. _

_____________

Jason is immersed in another book a few hours later when Dick makes a small movement and lets out a groan in his dreams. Jason stretches his hand slowly, trying to calm the older of whatever he’s feeling. He takes Dick’s warm hand and caresses his palm gently, tracing his fingers through the soft skin. After some caresses, he brings it to his mouth, placing it close enough so that his lips brush Dick’s hand. 

“I'm a coward,” Jason begins to say. This is the moment when he must apologize, and he knows he is a _wimp_ for doing it knowing that Goldie doesn't hear him. “I don't have the courage to tell you this awake, and that is why I don't deserve you. You're too much for me, _hell,_ I don't know a single person that deserves you. But I want to try, you make me want to be better, a better man. You make me want to be a better person.

But I'm still a coward because I don't have the courage to look you in the eyes and explain what I feel. To explain why I wanted to get away and that it has nothing to do with you. _How could there be something wrong with you?_ You are not the problem_. I am_ the damn problem. I can't let go of everything I want to tell you, I don't even know what to say now. I just know that—I must apologize to you. If I had done things right from the beginning, none of this would have happened, and you would be fine,” Jason mutters, putting his forehead against that warm, soft hand. “I'm not good enough to take care of you, and I can't admit that to your face. So many years ago I tried not to think about you, about what you make me feel. I tried to deny my feelings, but I can't do it anymore. I almost lost you one more time, and I can’t bear to lose you without you knowing the truth. I'm a _screwed_ person, I'm damaged, broken, but you... you helped me. You made me see that I was not completely lost, that I could heal. And I was so blind that I didn't see what was in front of my eyes. _And you're so good, purely good_... and I'm just a boy who died and came back from the grave, and I became what I’m now. And I pushed you away many many times, I closed the door in your face thousands of times, but you didn't give up on me. You brought me back from the dark. And it's stupid, because you're asleep, and you'll never remember this. And I won't have the courage to look you in the eyes and admit I said this. That will be my punishment. But I accept it, as long as you're fine. Nothing matters more than that. I won't let them hurt you again, I won’t allow it.” 

Jason slowly approaches his face to Dick, brings his mouth to his warm forehead. He leaves his lips for a few seconds, enjoying the warm moment. With all his control, he steps away again, letting out a sigh. But he doesn't take his hand away from Dick's.

Jason falls asleep after a few minutes, watching Dick's chest go down and up in calm breaths. The sound lulls him and he falls asleep. Tonight there are no nightmares, no bad memories. (_And even though his back protests and his butt are asleep_) Jason rests as he couldn't do it for months.

While Jason is sleeping soundly, he doesn't realize that Dick's hand gently squeezes his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking long in posting and leaving you with suspense. It was my birthday and I take some days and besides this chapter take me a time to write, I don't know why! 
> 
> I hope you're okay. More chapters are to come. Ready to know about the sorceress? :D


	23. Hanging By A Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just enjoy <3

Jason wakes up hearing a noise on his right. His senses are immediately on guard and the first thing his brain tells him when he starts to wake up is _“Lookout, where’s Goldie?” _Jason opens his eyes and without thinking, he gets in position ready to attack. Fists held high. He unconsciously seeks his weapons at his sides but curses not feeling them. He looks at the room trying to recognize his whereabouts; he can see sunlight enlightening the white and sterile room. For a moment Jason has no idea where he is. _A hospital? _

It is when he focuses his attention on the bed and then to the figure sitting next to said bed. Bruce stares at him with an eyebrow lifted, taking a drink from his steaming cup. 

“You’re okay?” Bruce asks looking at his protective pose. Jason lowers both fists and sits back on the chair. He passes both hands across his face feeling like an idiot. _Fuck, what was that?_ After a few minutes, when his breathing soothes, he turns his attention to Dick and how the blue-eyed still sleeps. He looks so quiet, oblivious to the mess he made with Jason’s feelings, well, with everyone’s feelings. _He seems_ _so fragile, but no, Dick is not fragile, not at all._ But he still looks quite hurt in this state. Jason looks at Dick's wings and how they look worse. He swallows when he caught sight of all the new feathers that fell at night. _Or is it already day? _Jason doesn't even know what day it is. 

“I was—” Jason begins to say before clearing his throat and pulling the white strand of hair away from his face. “Wait, _fuck_, how long have I slept?” Bruce raises his empty hand and lays eyes on his luxurious watch. 

“I would say about 11 hours.”

“11 hours!? Why did nobody wake me up?” Jason asks frantically. _How he could be so careless? Was he really so exhausted?_

“You seemed tired. Alfred suggested we let you sleep longer. Even so, Dick hasn’t waked up. You didn't miss anything.”

“Fuck.” The more he blinks, the more he begins to push the sleep away fully. Jason doesn't feel any trace of sleep now. The truth is that he had had months without feeling so refreshed. It’s like just for this good night rest, he finally recovered all the time he spent tossing around in his bed, those nights that seemed endless— _he felt so alone every night_. It is like his body finally got enough rest. Jason feels stronger than ever. 

“Alfred left you your coffee the way you like it,” Bruce comments taking a sip of his own coffee. Jason's stomach growls, he’s so hungry, _but coffee first_. If Bruce is here, Jason needs all the coffee in the world to have a civilized conversation with the old man. That’s when he looks up and recognizes his old coffee mug. He smiles remembering how proud he was of the way he ‘redecorate’ the cup when he was little. Now it looks ridiculous, but Alfred still keeps the mug. When Jason tastes the coffee he can't help but let out a satisfying noise.

“As good as I remember. Black as the nigh, strong like a sin,” Jason comments out loud.

“I know.”

“And what are you doing here?” Jason asks after a moment. Bruce raises his eyebrow again.

“You mean sitting here or having a cup of coffee?”

“Down here with Dickiebird instead of being in that fancy company of yours,” Jason answers while pouring his second mug.

“I had nothing important scheduled right now. Besides, I wanted to make sure Dick was fine before I go.”

“Hmm.” Jason doesn't want to talk anymore. That simple conversation is still too much for his monthly quota with the Bat. Talking with Bruce has never been easy. And now... the old man looks relaxed. But Jason knows how to read people very well. And even if he didn't want to admit it, he knows Bruce well enough, _or at least _he used to know how to read him. And now he can perceive the way Bruce moves his body rigidly. Something _concerns_ him. “Something interesting happened tonight? No crazy goons trying to burn the damn city?” Bruce immediately clenches his jaw and Jason knows that he hit the right nail. _Bingo_. 

“We found something unusual,” Bruce puts his coffee mug on a small table and then places both hands on his lap.

“_What_? An elf? A ghost wandering around the city?” Bruce puffs a breath.

“There was another homicide, a multiple one,” 

“Oh yeah, the supposed serial killer. Everyone talks about those bloody crimes. What did you find, _huh_? Anything more interesting than searching for the sorceress?” Jason exclaims putting the mug aside. He would hate to break the stupid thing and deal with a scolding Alfred. Bruce looks up and examines him closely.

“That, _‘supposed serial killer’_ has murdered too many people. Far too brutally, and for no apparent reason. There are no tracks, no clues. It is as if the murderer was slaughtering these people just to give a message. And I'm afraid I find the motive.”

“Enlighten me,” Jason growls. Of course he has heard in the news about the murders here in Gotham and Blüdhaven. About crime scenes that were too bloody and that had left everyone on alert. But that is the job of the police, a serial killer isn’t something so strange here in Gotham, it’s a regular thing. There is no reason why Batman should direct his attention so much to this case. Unless it is too fucked up, and the numbnuts of the GCPD have reached a dead end. There is something strange about the way Bruce has been acting. He looks too affected by this. _Well, who wouldn't be?_ Jason feels his fists clench at the awareness of so many innocent people dying and that he still hadn’t do something about it. 

“The crime scene was too screwed up. That was not just a murderer, it was disembowelment. Something unmerciful. It doesn't look like something made by a human, it's too messy as if a monster had attacked all those people. And then I saw it, carved on the skin of a victim.” Bruce says, his face clearly affected by what happened. Jason frowns at the reaction of Batman himself. “At first I didn't think of anything strange. But then I started analyzing the marks. In each victim were scratches and cuts made apparently by a knife— but I still doubt it was a knife. Nevertheless, they looked like simple wounds. But yesterday I thought I saw a pattern.” Bruce passes a hand over his face and then bends down and takes some papers and folders. Jason raises his eyebrow. Now that Jason studies Bruce better, he can see the dark circles under his eyes. He didn’t sleep because he was analyzing all this crap. Jason moves uneasily in his seat, he has a bad feeling about this. Instinctively he focuses his attention on Goldie, to make sure he stays sleeping peacefully. Away from all this knowledge. _Safe from the dark_. “Do you notice anything out of the ordinary? Perhaps something I miss?” Bruce extends the folders and Jason accepts them sharply. 

“Asking the opinion of the psycho in the family, huh? Well thought.” He takes one look at the dreadfulness of the photographs and Jason can't help feeling his stomach twist. “Shit, this is screwed.” 

“Of course not.” Bruce begins to say shaking his head. “I need another opinion, another pair of eyes. Know if I'm just visualizing things. Tim agrees that there is something out of the ordinary. He is almost sure it’s a message, but I am not completely sure what to think. And I really wish it wasn't.” Jason inspects the photographs with a critical eye, trying to put his feelings at bay or stop the helplessness he feels when he sees the massacre of bodies. Whoever has done this _is a monster_. And it needs to be put down as soon as possible. There are scratches and wounds everywhere, lots of blood to fully appreciate the details. But Bruce has marked with a sharpie what seems suspicious, Jason analyses them carefully trying to find some pattern, some message, _anything_.

“This is fucked-up. I mean... it looks too bloody.” Jason starts to say. “Who would do such a fuck-up thing? I know were in Gotham, but this, this is— Are the victims connected in any way?”

“No, we are pretty sure that there is no connection between the victims. There is nothing they share in common only that they are from Gotham and Blüdhaven. And that is the strangest thing. Commonly, a serial killer leaves a mark, has a way of making known that the victims have something in common and that is why he kills them. But there is nothing here, it is simply a brutality.”

“And what makes you suspicious about these marks? I don’t see anything.”

“Yesterday I observed a word, I am almost certain it is. Whoever did this wants to say something. But not for everyone. For us.” Bruce says slowly. Jason feels his skin bristle. Immediately he sits better in the chair, suddenly feeling that anxiety growing again, wanting to take over his body. _That well- known rage, _wanting to come out and speak what he really thinks.

“For us?”

“If my finding is correct, and what I investigated tonight are not hallucinations of mine trying to complete the puzzle. I could be pretty sure that the sorceress is behind this.” Jason drops the papers abruptly, his hands feel shaky. He looks at Bruce trying to read his body language, ‘_is this a damn joke?_’ It's Jason's first thought. But Bruce never jokes, let alone with something like this, he wouldn't say something like this without being almost completely sure. He’s the fucking Batman! How could he be wrong with something like this? But Jason still feels that mistrust towards him. But the more he looks at Bruce— at his stiff pose and his tight jaw. He knows this isn’t a game. Bruce is nervous, even _worried_. And that sends Jason to the limit.

“What the fuck? Are you kidding!?” Still, Jason asks, not wanting to believe it, to believe him from all people. 

“I wish to be wrong,” Bruce says biting his lip and then leaning against the chair heavily. “How could I joke about something so severe like this?”

“I don't know, you're full of shit. I wouldn't be surprised if you're exaggerating the things.”

“Tim is pretty sure. You know how he is, he’s a very good detective. I don't want to reach a sudden conclusion, but we can't rule out anything. The murders started to happen at the same time that Dick began patrolling again. They have not stopped since then. Doesn't it seem strange to you? Coincidences do not exist.” 

“It can be a fucking coincidence,” Jason exclaims at the same time that Bruce finishes speaking. Both look at each other heavily. Jason doesn't want to accept that it may be true. That she is really doing all this for Goldie, to prove that she isn’t afraid to kill innocent people just to reach her goal. To get his hands on Goldie. Jason sees green just thinking about her putting her grubby hands on him. 

“Jason” Bruce growls tiredly. “Just look at the photos and tell me you don't see anything strange. Just give it a real look and tell me it isn’t something that only Dick could understand.” Jason clenches his jaw and takes the pages off the floor. He tries again to make sense of the notes that Bruce and Tim left on the pages. To the annotations made with the aggressive handwriting of Bruce. When he passes his eyes for the fifth time on the same photograph, it is when he notices something.

“Fuck, I think I see something.” The more he sees it, the more he can make sense of what Bruce says. Those scrapes and cuts might seem quite insignificant to anyone else, but for the trained eye, they are clear messages. Jason looks closely at the photograph that was taken a few days ago and can now clearly see what Bruce talks about. Among the whole disaster of wounds on the victim, words scattered on the victims' bodies can be seen. There is no order, there are no clues. But there is something there. It is when he reads what Bruce wrote that he looks up and gazes at the old man frowning. “Are you completely sure?”

“I cannot be completely sure based on simple speculation. But I'm almost sure that's a message for Dick. I'm not an expert in the language, not like Dick. But I am certainly sure that is Romani.”

“Shit. This is fucked-up. We have— we have to do something. Now.”

“I know. I already sent that same information to Zatanna, she said she will investigate thoroughly. I even asked her to put some kind of protection in the manor. She came last night. I may be overcoming the facts, but I cannot take anything for granted. If the sorceress is doing this for Dick, to make him feel guilty and make him suffer in a twisted way, we have to put an end to it. For now, the house is insured. It's the safest place for Dick to be.”

“Hell, you're serious. You are sure she’s doing this.” Jason says more to himself.

“I have a feeling,” Bruce says with a sigh. “But I don't let myself be ruled by my hunches. I need evidence, evidence in my hands. But with magic, we can't get that. It is magic after all, uncontrollable, chaotic. There are no rules, no congruent explanations. But I will not risk anyone by ignoring my instinct. We can't pass this by.”

“Why did she take all this time to send a message? All these months without knowing anything about her, not even a trace. She could've got to Dick so easily. Why take all that time and start killing people just to get our attention now?” Jason shudders at the idea.

“We cannot guess her intentions. But I'm sure everything has a reason. It is a well-crafted plan. And we are only pawns in their game. Dick is his goal.”

“Shit, shit.” Jason passes a hand over his face again, he feels useless. _How could he face someone as powerful as her?_ He is simply a man. How it is that Jason Peter Todd could defeat a sorceress by himself? He only has his brains, his weapons, his armor, his fists. He needs help. Accepting it is almost as difficult as asking for it. And then a sudden thought hits him, he thinks of the face that Dick would put because of knowing what she’s doing, committing all that death just to get to him. It would completely break him. Dick could do stupid things like giving himself to her just to stop it_. And Jason won't allow that. _“Are we going to tell him about this?”

“I don't know… you know Dick. He would go crazy, it would hurt him. I don't want to lie to him but I don’t have the heart to tell him this either. I can’t put more weight on his shoulders, he's dealing with many things, and this... this would affect him more than anything.” Bruce mumbles. Jason immediately drops the pages and leaves them under the bed, feeling his hands burning.

“Fuck, I hate to say this but yeah, I can't imagine what he would do knowing this,” Jason says looking at the ceiling.

“Don't worry, we're going to stop her. There is always a plan B, and C. There is always a strategy that can work against the most dangerous of our enemies.”

“Yeah, and how are you going to do that, _huh_? Are you going to kindly ask her to leave your son alone? Are you going to put her in an inter-dimensional prison?” Jason growls feeling that anger wanting to came out. “Let me state something clearly. Once we find her, I won't let her go alive. I don't care how powerful she is, or of what world she comes from. She hurt Goldie, and I'm not going to let her go without paying for it.” 

“Jason, I know—”

“You don't know shit!" Jason exclaims raising his voice. “You don't know anything at all! I will not let the same thing that happen to me, happen to him. That no one avenged my pain. I'm not going to let something similar happen to Dick, not while I’m here. I don’t seek your approval, nor your permission. And I don't give a shit that you don't support my actions, I don't do it for you, I do it for him. If I'm here, it's for him. Trust me, I would rather be anywhere else in the world than here. But I'm stuck until Dick is safe.”

“I understand what you feel. Believe me, we all want to protect Dick. And I still don't forget your pain.” Bruce says slowly, he is entering dangerous ground and the old man knows it. Jason stands up suddenly, throwing the chair with a loud thump that echoes in the silent room. 

“Don't talk about things you don't know. You don't know shit about my pain.” Jason exclaims, that rage present in his voice, that venom witch blinds his mind. “Your moral rules always get in the way. Don't forget what happened the last time! Because I don’t. But listen carefully, that doesn't matter anymore. I am willing to let all of that go for once. I’m willing to forget that you didn’t save me that day, that you didn’t revenge my dead. But if something happens to Dick, I swear to you that I will never forget you— If you are not able to do what is necessary to protect him, there will be nothing to stop me until she disappears from this world. I don't care if you kick me out, or whatever. I would do it again and again. We're clear?” 

Bruce looks at him intensely, in his gaze so many emotions that he hardly lets out. But Jason perceives them. _And they weigh like bricks._

“Jason. I know there is nothing I can say that change things, or make you forgive me. I get it. But I only ask you not to let revenge cloud your judgment. If you let it control you, you can lose everything. I know what Dick means to you... I know. We will do everything we can to stop her and that she never hurts Dick again. That is my promise to you, and I plan to keep it. But I can't allow you to do foolishness and get hurt too… I won’t let that happen either.” 

“What else could I lose? _My soul_? Please. I lost all that a long time ago. But Goldie, he is—” Jason lets out a sigh. “Whatever. Your promises are only empty words. If you want to show me something, find a way to keep Goldie safe. It's the only thing that matters to me.” 

“I will,” Bruce promises. For a moment, Jason believes him. He would never admit it, but he has seen that look before. _It's Batman talking_, Batman making a promise. 

“Don’t fuck it up again, just stop talking,” Jason mumbles.

“S-stop it.” They both turn to look at Dick, Jason feels Dick's hand take his arm with a light squeeze. Drifting away his mind from that rage, Jason returns to reality with a jerk and he searches for those blue eyes, those eyes that soothe his mind as if they had their own magic. Goldie peeks at him behind his large eyelashes, trying to push the dream away from his gaze. “Stop fighting, please,” Dick mutters again. Bruce moves from his place and gets closer to Dick.

“How you feel?”

“Like I fell from a fifth floor,” Dick answers with a small mocking smile. But it looks pitiful. 

“Your puns are not funny, Dickface.” Jason shakes his head.

“Tim laughs of my puns, you are the ones who have no sense of humor.” Dick tries to sit down but lets out another groan.

“Don't get up, what do you need?” Bruce asks tensely.

“I need you two to stop screaming. And I need somebody who brings me a bowl of cereal. Urgently.” Dick says making a silly pout, Jason must bite the inside of his cheek to not smile. _Fuck._

“I'm sorry to tell you that you can't eat any of that for now, not with your molt. You need to eat healthily, but I'll see what I can do.” Bruce answers and then he disappears closing the door behind him. 

Jason swallows hard not knowing what to say. For some reason, he feels nervous. It is as if all the anger had left his body and is replaced by shame. What if Goldie’s mad at him? What if he asks him to get the fuck off there? After all, Jason has been pushing him away. Dick doesn’t deserve that. 

They keep silent for a few minutes, Jason doesn’t know what to say. He already said everything last night, _right?_ Bullshit, Jason knows he’s still a coward. But no, no matter how much he wishes to have the courage, _he can’t repeat last’s night’s words_. Not now.

“I thought yesterday I was imagining you here,” Goldie whispers, breaking the silence.

“I'm right here,” Jason mutters.

“Why?” Goldie asks very softly, like he’s afraid to ask.

“I—I just…” Jason whispers pathetically before releasing a sigh. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You think I’m okay?” Dick states making a gesture at himself.

“I know, sorry.” Jason doesn’t want to see Dick’s face. But he does anyway.

“Do you plan to leave again? Disappear and never come back?” Goldie asks swallowing. 

“Do you want me to do that?” Jason asks slowly. Dick looks up and stares at him so fiercely that Jason must hold to his chair so he doesn't run away from that look that makes him _weak_, which makes him a simple and helpless _man_. 

“No. I don't want that,” Goldie begins to say. “But it's not about what I want. I want you to stay only if you want to stay.” Jason lets out an emotionless laugh. Dick trembles under the blanket.

“Isn't about what you want? Of course is about what you want. All this is for you! I wouldn't be here if I didn't care about you. You can ask me to do anything and I would do it, _damn it_. You still don't understand? That's why I'm asking you, do you want me to stay?”

“Yes,” Dick responds without hesitation.

“Then I will stay. I will stay until you ask me to leave.”

“Why would I want you to leave?” Dick asks with real curiosity. Jason gestures to himself with hostility.

“Isn’t obvious? I destroy everything I touch, I am poison. If I hadn't left you alone from the beginning, none of this would have happened. I'm damned Dick. I can't stain a person as pure as you. I can't afford to drag you into my shit.” Dick makes a sad face, like a lost puppy. He tries to get close to him but lets out a groan as he moves his injured body. Jason moves towards him, putting a hand on his chest, preventing Dick from moving another inch. Dick looks tired and injured, he looks vulnerable under those blankets, with devices monitoring his health, with bandages and splints. He looks made to break and Jason is full of sharp edges. “Don't try to get up dammit, you're going to hurt yourself,” Jason mutters.

“Hurt myself? You think this hurts me?” Dick makes a gesture with his good hand. “I don't care about this. I've been through worse things. What hurts me is knowing that you think so low of yourself Jason, that you think you are poison. _How can you say that?_ _How can you believe that?_ You are not poison, you’re not cursed. You're just a little broken, ok? You have yourself wrapped in thorns, and then you hurt everyone who tries to touch you. You think you are the problem, but you are not. I wish you could see you through my eyes. I am not a pure person either, I don’t even consider myself as valuable as everyone says I am. I'm hurt too, but I learned to bury it and not let it control me. I don't allow myself to hurt the people I love with my broken parts. And that's what you do Jay, you don't realize that there are so many people loving you, people who would give everything for you. And I understand, I know it is hard for you to think that you could leave all that behind, all your anger, and suffering. But I see you Jay, _the real Jason_. I can see what you’re trying to hide. That good and fair man that you are behind the helmet. I can see that man full of emotions and feelings, a man who can love and protect others so fiercely and that would give everything for the people he loves. So yes, answering your question. I want you to stay. But I want you to stay because you want to, because you are willing to let me help you, let me into your bubble. Don’t run, don’t hide, Little Wing. _Please_.” Jason stands still, almost breathless. It is as if the entire world ceases to exist. As if there was nothing else. Only this beautiful man in front of him. _Always him_.

“Fuck,” Jason says closing his eyes and opening them slowly again. Goldie keeps looking at him like that. Only a fool could walk away now. So with all the courage, Jason can muster, in a quick movement he pounces and wraps Dick in a hug, holding his head against his chest. Dick lets out a groan but returns the hug as tightly as he can. Jason is not good with words, but he hopes that with this hug he can say everything he feels. _Yes, help me, heal me, save me. _He doesn't apart for a good moment, feeling powerful and complete hugging Dick in this way. Feeling Dick's breath on his neck, feeling his heart pounding against his chest. _Alive, safe, in his arms_. Jason can feel Dick's immobilized hand and how he lets out another groan of pain, and he remembers that he can hurt him. “Okay,” Jason says stepping away slowly. Dick makes a small noise of protest but lets him go. Jason brushes Dick's hair away, contemplating every detail of his face. “Ok, Pretty Bird. **You got me**.” Dick lets out a smile so beautiful that Jason can't help but return it back. “You're good?”

“Yeah, your hug made me dizzy.” Goldie jokes touching his head with his good hand, Jason lets out a small laugh.

“I was not aware of the effect I have on you.”

“Hey, I meant my concussion. Don't make yourself bigger.” Goldie mutters. “I still don't know how I could tell you all that without stuttering, my head is killing me,” Goldie lets out a sigh, settling back on the bed.

“You need something? More meds? One more hug?” Jason jokes with a half-smile. He feels different, with less weight on his shoulders.

“I need a dose of hugs from you, but if you squeeze me so hard my bones will not resist. I can barely breathe.” Goldie says dramatically, Jason rolls his eyes.

“I forgot I was talking with a drama queen.”

“Dork,” Dick responds immediately, changing his face from pain to one of humor.

“Who was the one who fell from a fifth-floor being a bird? Literally you, Dickface.”

“Hey, that was not my fault. And I'm not just a bird, I'm human too. We all have accidents.”

“Yeah, your human part is very stupid. That explains everything.”

"You are the one who came to me months ago because you didn't know how to change the tone of your cell phone.”

“Hey, that's bullshit. I just wanted to know how to do it without buying any fucking tone, I wanted it for free.” Jason says feeling his cheeks getting red, Dick sticks out his tongue. _How is it that Dick can still remember that? _

“Admit that you are an idiot and that you need me.”

“Maybe,” Jason whispers, feeling that emotion again when he sees Dick's shy smile. He’s so into Goldie that Jason doesn’t hear Bruce burst in the room. 

“I couldn't convince Alfred about cereal but I could get a protein bar—” Bruce stops in the middle of the room looking at them both with his eyebrow raised.

“Thanks, B, I'm starving,” Dick says animatedly. Bruce gets closer with a tray full of food. He puts it on the bed still looking at them suspiciously. Jason steals a bite from the protein bar and Dick hits his shoulder gently. “Jay, that’s not fair.”

“Sorry Birdie, but taking care of you leaves me tired.” Jason jokes taking another bite the bar, this time Dick tries to snatch it and Jason lets out a laugh.

“Enough, get off, I deserve that.” Dick finally manages to remove the bar and then he takes a bite. Jason is lost so much at the moment and in ‘fighting’ with Dick over the food he doesn't hear when Bruce says he'll be in the batcomputer. Both ignore him while they continue with their thing. They talk for hours as if nothing had happened. Jason doesn't remember when it was the last time his smile felt so authentic.

_____________

Jason must go to his apartment for a few things, he hates to admit it but he obviously doesn't plan to leave the manor until Goldie feels better, (_and frankly he doesn’t want to leave Goldie’s side never again_.) So Jason takes hold of the moment when Dick falls asleep soundly. Slowly he gets up and once he makes sure Dick isn’t going to wake up soon, he takes a small paper and leaves a quick message in case Goldie wakes up and so he doesn’t think Jason run off again.

Jason is about to take the elevator to the manor when he just finds who he was looking for.

“Hey, Jason,” Tim greets him with a wave of his hand while holding his laptop under his other arm. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I'm going to my place for some things, can you keep an eye on Dickiebird?” 

“Yeah, sure. It was coming to see him actually.” Tim says with a small smile. Then he raises his eyebrow. “Does that mean you plan to stay here again?”

“Nah, just until Dickface feels better.” Jason makes a gesture with his hands as if it wasn't a big deal. But well, Jason could never leave even if he tried.

“Yeah, right,” Tim says with a look like he knows something Jason doesn’t. “Hey, before you go. Alfred wouldn't be happy, but I heard that Dick's favorite cereal brand just release a new flavor. And, I thought he would cheer up if you brought him one, don't you think?” 

“What am I now Tim, a fucking slave!?” Jason exclaims a little offended. _Since when does he run errands for Dick?_ Then Jason clears his throat. “What's the name of that shit anyway? I’m curious.” Tim lets out a mocking smile. 

“Something about marshmallows and rainbows, you know that Dick loves everything that has those dumb colors.”

“Whatever, if I have time I will buy that shit, if not, oops.” 

“Jason, wait,” Tim says stopping him. “Bruce told you about... the killings?” The teenager is clearly affected by the issue. Jason clenches his jaw.

“Yeah, the old man said something about that. Do you believe that shit?” Jason tries not to show how worried that new information left him. 

“I am very sure that there is something strange there, I have a hunch. I've analyzed every photo, I've seen every damn angle and I'm sure there's a message written there. And then Zatanna call a few hours ago.” 

“What did she say?” Jason wrinkled his forehead, Tim bites the inside of his cheek.

“She said that she can perceive something. _I mean_, clearly, she needs to be in the crime scene to really perceive something magical happening, but she’s pretty sure that the people were not killed by someone with magic, but actually they killed each other’s, as if they had been under someone's influence. And the marks... someone magical made them. The sorceress is behind this. She left the messages or whatever for Dick to just understand.” 

“B said something about that shit being in Romani, aren't you supposed to be a genius or something so you know what it says?” Jason asks a little sharply. Give green light that she’s doing this... puts Jason to the limit.

“We know it is in Romani, but there is no order in the words, not even Zatanna can decipher whatever she left. It's possible that only Dick can understand.”

“Shit,” Jason says trying to contain himself from hitting the wall, to destroy something. “We can't tell Dick,” Jason mutters, the idea of lying to Dick twist his stomach, but also the idea of telling Dick that those deaths are just to give him a message makes Jason sick.

“I know. I don't want to lie to him, but I fear he will do something silly if he finds out that she’s killing those people just for him.”

"This is our time to hunt her,” Jason says looking Tim in the eyes. “She’s serious about putting her hands on Dick. She will do everything her stupid magic allows her to reach Dick. So tell me, are you willing to do everything to keep Dick safe?” 

“Of course, you know we would all do everything to protect Dick. But it's not time to let yourself be blinded by revenge Jason, we must keep a cool head. Don't let your feelings for Dick cloud your judgment.”

“My feelings—? What the fuck are you talking about?” Jason raises his voice without being able to avoid it. Tim jumps.

“I've seen you, Jason. How you look at him, how you talk to him. You don't have to deny it, you know? Maybe if you just stop staring at him and actually say something, maybe you could have a chance.”

“We spoke.” Jason crosses his arms feeling threatened. _Fuck_, why _everyone else can see what Jason feels before him? Is he so obvious? _

“Really?” Tim says with a knowing smile. “Both of you talked? Did you tell him what you feel?”

“Well, he spoke. But he knows what I feel.” Jason mutters looking away. _Fuck_, he wishes to have his helmet right now.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, are you deaf? Why the hell am I talking about this with you!?” Jason tries to get away but Tim takes his arm, Jason pulls his hand away with a swipe.

“Tell him,” Tim says simply as if it were so easy. Jason basically said it, _didn't he?_ Well, no, he actually hadn’t said it with words. “Tell him, Jason. Never kept something like that for yourself. Be brave and tell him. Anything can happen, and tell me, wouldn't you regret your entire life for not saying it on time? What do you have to lose?” 

“My fucking dignity, maybe?” Jason says repeating Tim's words over and over in his head.

"Yeah, as if that had ever stopped you.”

“How funny, dipstick. Well, I have some errands to do, so get out of my sight.”

“See you around.” Tim gives him that mocking look and disappears into the hallway.

Jason lets out a growl, turning around and returning to the garage. He takes his helmet and goes outside, drawing away from the manor in a few seconds, flying at full speed just to stop thinking for a moment. Jason wants to stop overthinking so much and just act. With that in mind, Jason makes a mental list of what he is going to buy. _Fuck_, _who would say that one day Jason would be running errands and talking about feelings with Tim? _The world is upside down_._

_____________

Jason returns several hours later with several bags in each hand. He tries not to meet anyone who can ask him something about those bags. Jason would deny everything. He takes the damn cereal box, (for which he had to fight for) Nobody had told him that the damn limited-edition cereal box would be so desired. Making sure Alfred is not in sight, Jason descends to the cave with quick steps. He enters the infirmary waiting to see Goldie but when Jason finally walks past the door, he finds instead an empty bed. He immediately feels a chill run through his body, he squeezes the cereal box tightly and he tries not to panic. He takes a step back and that's when he bumps into someone. 

“Master Jason, is everything in order?” Alfred looks at him from top to bottom. And then he gives a hard look at the cereal box.

“Alf, where’s Goldie?” Jason asks frantically.

“Do not worry young sir; Richard is taking a well-deserved bath. I just took him there myself, so there’s no need to panic. But now that you are here, I would appreciate it if you could help him to return safely to bed. Could you?” Jason lets the air out in his lungs slowly, _Fuck_.

“Sure Alf, I will bring that hardheaded safe into bed.”

“Thank you very much, Master Jason. By the way, if you plan on giving him that sugary meal, make sure Master Richard doesn't finish it in a single night.” Jason squeezes the cereal box releasing a curse and then a half sorry smile.

"Sure, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, young sir, don't let our patient soak for so long.” Jason turns to where the cave showers are feeling his cheeks burning. For a moment he thought—_ugh_. Goldie is safe, nothing’s wrong. Jason knocks on the only closed door and hears a soft _‘come in’_, so he quickly enters closing the door behind him. Jason contemplates Goldie submerged in a bathtub. His long wet black hair is backward, leaving his face in plain sight. He no longer has his arm immobilized and is now resting freely on his chest. Jason can see the gunshot wound on his shoulder and several ugly bruises on his body. His wings are bent behind his back, they look more hurt sopping like this.

“Jay.” Dick opens his eyes giving him a tired smile, Jason slowly approaches. “Omg, is that what I think it is?” Dick exclaims remarkably excited seeing the cereal box. Jason sits on a small bench near the bathtub, showing the box to the blue-eyed. 

“Yup. I had to fight for this, I hope the damn shit is worth it.” Dick gives him a smile from ear to ear.

“You're the best, Jay! Thanks, thanks!”

“I know,” Jason says smiling. “By the way, who put a bathtub in the damn cave? Does Batman has a good bubble bath after patrolling?”

“Yeah, I'm sure he does,” Goldie says with a laugh, but then he stops laughing placing a hand on his chest. “Ouch, I hate not being able to laugh.”

“Next time don't fall from a fifth floor.” Jason reminds him, Dick extends his good hand and gives him a small hit.

“Will you ever stop bothering me with that, Little Wing?”

“No, never Pretty Bird. You are literally a bird, I can't let it pass.”

“I can’t fly,” Goldie says looking discreetly towards his wings.

“No, but who says you won’t later? Your feathers will grow, maybe you will fly like a little bird in the future.”

“It would be amazing,” Goldie says, his eyes shining like diamonds. _Jason melts_. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot me.”

“Why is everyone so worried all the time? Is there something you are not telling me?” Goldie asks, his face changing. It is as if his wounds are more noticeable when he wipes out that smile from his face.

“What? No, nothing’s wrong.” Jason releases the words with difficulty, feeling them like sand in his tongue. He doesn't want to look at Dick, because if he looks into his eyes, he won’t be able to lie to him.

“Are you sure? Because if you aren't telling me—”

“Don't worry your pretty head on this. I assure you that everything will be fine.” Jason takes the courage and lays eyes on Dick, trying to convey him that everything will be really fine. Trying to make him understand that while he’s there, he won't let anything happen to him. And Dick nods as if he understood every word left in the air. “C’mon, and can’t let you swim for too long, let’s get you into bed. And then you can have your stupid cereal.” Jason murmurs.

“Ok,” Dick says, his eyes wavering around, his mind drifting away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii, I hope you're okay.  
I couldn't contain myself with putting all this fluff, sorry <3 but I did what it felt right, what it felt natural. We're getting closer to the drama, I know kept saying that but I can't just drop it without having the right things on the table.  
Love you all! Xoxo


	24. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick starts to feel that something is wrong. Maybe he's just freaking out?  
But the things he hears, the things he sees. Maybe is something else. 
> 
> Dick's state of mind is unstable in this chapter.

_“The house was awake, the shadows and monsters_   
_The hallways, they echoed and groaned._

_I sat alone, in bed till the morning_   
_I'm crying, "They're coming for me"_   
_And I tried to hold these secrets inside me_   
_My mind's like a deadly disease”_

Dick feels the hours go by like bricks on his back. _His wings are not the only heavy thing tonight. _

Just one night ago he was allowed to return to his room after almost two weeks sleeping in the cave’s infirmary. Dick would like to say he feels better, but he honestly couldn't say it. Physically, his wounds are healing. He has yet to take meds and cannot wander freely around the manor as he would like to, but he no longer feels as terrible as the first days. His wings are getting better and new feathers are beginning to grow, although most of the time he still feels exhausted, the molt gradually begins to become more bearable. 

But mentally, _well_, Dick feels off. For some reason, Dick feels constant anxiety. A fear that doesn't let him drop his guard. He has chills every time he thinks about closing his eyes and sleeping. It terrifies him to have those nightmares again. Since his accident, he has not had any, and that is more chilling than having any. Every time he closes his eyes he fears to dream, so he prefers not to sleep at all. And not only that, he feels a constant paranoia, he feels that he is hearing things that are not real, he feels that he is seeing things that are not there. Maybe after all, he’s losing his _mind. _

_What are you supposed to dream for when there are monsters outside of your window? _

That is why he is now sitting in the darkness of his room on a small sofa by the window, contemplating the night and the moon. His _only company this evening_. Dick is almost certain that if he concentrates enough, he can hear voices whispering his name, calling him. Dick wants to ignore everything and attribute it to his contusion. But he is quite certain that the shadows moving in the dark are not an invention of his tired mind. _Or they are?_ So Dick just tries to ignore everything and concentrate on something else, anything else.

After several minutes Dick's eyes start to feel heavy. He discovers himself closing his eyes and opening them again. He blinks several times trying to keep the fatigue away. Dick closes his eyes again without being able to avoid it and he lets out a growl of frustration. With much effort, Dick opens his eyes focusing his gaze back to the window, in doing so he accidentally drops the paper he was holding in his good hand. Slowly, he bends down trying not to let out a groan from the effort and recovers that little note.

‘_I’m not going anywhere. I will come back to you before you know it._’

Jason had left that note almost two weeks ago when Dick woke up and only Tim was by his side. For a moment, Dick feared that Jason had left again, that he had fled despite what they had spoken, despite those sincere looks and that hug that sounded louder than words. For a moment, Dick believed that Jason had left him _again_. But when Tim assured him that Jason was only going for a few things and that he would return, Dick didn't feel so scared. When he noticed the note hidden in his immobilized arm, Dick could breathe again without feeling that his heart was going to burst. 

Dick squeezes the note tightly, feeling the truth of those words, knowing what Jason wants to make him see. And that simple thought makes Dick forget for a moment everything else. He only concentrates on watching the window, his mind blank, just sitting right there, trying not to think about anything.

It doesn't matter how tired he feels, it doesn't matter if his mind wants to wander to his huge King Size bed and the comfort of his blankets, to his soft, silky pillows, to Jason asleep right there, snoring softly.

He has to be _awake_. Because he fears that if he lowers his guard again, something terrible can happen. And he's not afraid of what might happen to him_, no, of course not_. That is not the priority. What really matters to him is that figure sleeping comfortably a few feet away from him, those turquoise eyes and warm hands. What matters to him is his family, _Damian, Tim, Bruce, Alfred._ He knows that right now three of them are out there, doing their duty, fighting, protecting the city. _But who protects them?_ Dick should be out there, doing just that. Protecting them— in case she decides to keep her word and hurt them just to get to him.

Dick closes his eyes trying to get that thought out of his mind, _no, out_. He won’t allow that.

“Dickie?” Jason's sleepy voice makes him jump and look away from the window. He hears Jason's almost silent steps walk towards him, he hears a yawn and when he looks up Jason is there. “What are you doing there? You’re okay?”

“Yeah,” Dick manages to whisper in spite of the lump in his throat, looking one last time at the window. No noise is heard, but Dick feels that voice continues to murmur his name, over and over again. “I'm okay, I just can't sleep.”

“Huh, do you want something to sleep? I don't know, a glass of hot milk? Meds?” Jason asks in his typical mocking tone, but he’s still standing there, watching him closely.

“No, no more meds,” Dick mutters leaning on the couch, _no more meds_, meds that make him feel sleepy, that doesn't let him be alert. 

“Are you having nightmares again?” Jason asks moving slowly and leaning on the window, covering his view. Dick lets out a sigh.

“No... I'm just afraid of sleeping and having them again.” Dick responds simply. Which is not completely a lie? But he doesn't tell him about those murmurs in the dark, he doesn't tell him about those shadows that seem to follow him everywhere. He doesn't tell him about that fear that he doesn't let him sleep.

“Uh,” Jason says not very convinced and then he hears him sigh. “You shouldn't be there alone. Come here, it's cold.”

“I'm fine, Jason,” Dick says releasing some irritation in his tone.

Because honestly, as much as Dick wants to have his family closest to him right now, to make sure they are well and take care of them... They are all just a little bit _overprotective_. There are times like _now_ where he would like some space to breathe.

Because if it's not Jason who doesn't leave a single moment from his side, it's Damian watching him and being his shadow every hour of the day. Or is Tim stopping going to his activities and preferring to do them from home, or rather, do them in his room. Or it's Bruce, who comes every morning and every night to check him obsessively making sure Dick doesn't jump out the window.

Alfred is the only one who seems to notice the obsessive-compulsive overprotection of the family, he is the only one who allows him a few minutes every so often and lets him move without supervision. Dick misses his independence, but it would be selfish if he said he doesn't enjoy the attention a bit.

But the other big problem with his family is that they are hiding things from him, Dick is very sure that there is something everyone knows and they don't want him to know. Jason keeps giving those tense smiles and those _‘Everything is fine Goldie’_, but Dick can read Jason like the palm of his hand. He knows him completely; he can perceive all those words that Jason doesn't dare to say. And Dick wants to believe that they are doing it for a good reason, not because they believe that Dick cannot defend himself. _He’s not helpless. __He’s not weak._

The thought of that makes his feathers bristle.

Dick would like to feel much calmer. Having Jason here again with him reassures him in a certain way. All those months without hearing from him, without hearing him complain or speak with his only sense of humor, without feeling his hands, feeling those heavy turquoise eyes watching him all the time. He missed him so much it_ hurt_. And having him here again, at his fingertips, very close, relaxes his mind. Not having to worry if Jason is okay, if he's hurt, if he has felt alone, being able to see with his own eyes that Jason is truly okay relieves his mind.

Since they spoke, Jason seems to be more charming, he is not complaining as always of being here in the manor, he is not making his usual scandals against anyone. He seems... _different_. Dick is not sure what made that change so significant. But he is very happy to appreciate the real Jason. That man who tells jokes and reads him in the afternoon, that man who cooks only for him (and Alfred) and caresses his hands until Dick stops worrying. 

But then his mind reminds him again about the nightmares and those same eyes closing, and he feels a pain in his chest.

He reminds himself why he is sitting right there, why he must keep his guard high, why he must be alert, he must ignore those whispers that call him. He must be strong. 

“Goldie?” Jason's hand shakes him suddenly and Dick must blink several times to return to reality. Jason looks at him with concern.

“What were you saying? I'm sorry. I was— uh.” Dick says realizing that the window is covered by the curtains and he notices the light of his bedside table dimly lighting his room. _When did all that happen?_

“What's going on? For a moment you got lost, is it your contusion? Do you need anything? I should call Alfred?” Jason sounds worried, so Dick shakes his head and tries with all his might to release a true smile. Jason has to understand that everything is _fine._

“I'm okay. I was just going around something. I'm sorry I scared you.”

“Bullshit,” Jason says but his tone doesn't sound angry.

“Jason—” 

“No, don't lie, you don't seem okay. You look too strange sitting here alone at the window, and you look… you look off. What's happening?”

“I just couldn't sleep. I didn’t want to wake you up,” Dick answers quietly. Jason looks defeated, he knows when he's not getting anything from him. It hurts seeing how much Jason knows him too. 

“Well, now that you already woke me up,” Jason starts saying in an accusatory tone and Dick watches him trying not to smile for real. “I planned to read something. Wanna hear?”

“Sure Little Wing.” Dick takes one last look at the window and then looks at Jason's hand, Dick slowly pulls it away. “Come on, I can go back to bed by myself, I'm not invalid.” Dick stands up with a small growl, holding on with his good hand on the wall. Slowly, he walks towards the bed trying not to put a lot of pressure on his throbbing ankle. After a few minutes, he finally falls on his bed groaning when he puts pressure on his wings and back, but Jason says nothing. It's until Dick tries to pull the sheets with his good hand and failing to untangle them is that Jason gently pulls his hand away.

“I didn't know it was so complicated to tuck you up,” Jason mutters and Dick doesn't need to see Jason's face to know he has that cute mocking smile.

“Shut up.” Dick stares at him while he takes his book from the nightstand and the way he grabs the book with so much care. He stares at Jason running his long fingers looking for the page where he stayed. Once he finds it, he leans on the chair, raising his feet to the bed, making himself comfortable. 

“_There are few people whom I really love,_” Jason begins to read aloud, clearing his throat. Dick cannot help smile hearing that sleepy voice. “_And still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it—_”

Dick is so immersed in Jason's voice that he doesn’t realize the passing of time, his mind completely away from his previous thoughts. For a moment he is no longer afraid, he no longer feels anxiety, he can only concentrate on Jason's soft voice, on his lips telling that story so in detail that Dick feels part of the book. He doesn’t realize the time until he is closing his eyes due to fatigue and that is when he hears the door slowly open.

Jason stops reading aloud and looks up, in his face a gesture of irritation from the interruption.

“Oh, keep reading Jason. I like that part.” Tim mutters closing the door and getting closer to the bed.

“What do you want, Replacement?” Jason answers with a growl, closing the book with his hand. His tone is very different from what Dick was hearing.

“I just arrived from patrolling. How do you feel, Dick?” Tim asks sitting on the bed, his attention directly on him.

“Hey, Timmy. A long night?” Dick asks softly trying to sit down but Jason places a hand on his chest, not letting him sit up.

“Nah, there was nothing interesting,” Tim says raising his shoulders slowly. But he looks tense, his face tired.

“Come here,” Dick whispers, closing his eyes without being able to avoid it. Tim immediately takes off his shoes and crawls towards him, settling beside him without getting so close to not lying on his right-wing. But he brings his hand near stroking his feathers. Dick releases a happy noise.

He can hear the voices of Jason and Tim talking, he even figures to hear Damian's voice too, but Dick feels so tired that once he closes his eyes he is completely lost.

_____________

“Dick begins to hear noises around him, and that is when he realizes he is waking up. _Or he’s still dreaming?_ He can hear voices and the usual noises of the manor.

But when he opens his eyes, he’s standing in the middle of his room. _How he got here? Where are the others?_ Dick tries to speak but the words don't come out of his mouth. Instead, the only thing that comes out is a scream. Dick tries to stop but he seems to have no control of his body. When Dick tries to move, something grabs him by the shoulder. Dick lets out a yell of surprise and then stays still. He feels the hand squeeze his shoulder, the long nails digging into his skin tightly and Dick releases a groan trying to pull away from the grip, but the hand doesn’t release him, it keeps squeezing him further, breaking the skin and spilling blood. Dick screams, again and again, waving his wings desperately trying to pull away.

**“Pretty Bird. **Open your eyes. Find me.”

“Dick, wake up!” In one jump, Dick wakes up completely biting his lip so he doesn't scream again. Terrified, he opens his eyes looking for whoever attacked him, but the more he blinks the more he realizes that it was just a dream. Dick distinguishes his brothers watching him. Dick releases a breath he didn't know he was holding and tries to relax. _It wasn't real, everything is fine, you're fine. _

“Goldie? What was that?” Jason asks immediately, Dick shakes his head trying to get his voice back.

“Dick?” Tim asks insecurely, looking at him with concern. “You were screaming. It was a nightmare? It was—”

"What a stupid question, Drake." Damian mumbles, Dick tries to compose and not prove he’s freaking out. “What is going on Richard?” Damian asks instead, sounding like a little boy. Dick wants to hug his little brother and tell him that everything is fine, but that would be a big fat lie. The three look at him waiting for an answer, but Dick doesn't have any. It's too much, everything comes together for a moment and Dick wants to scream again. So Dick gets up as he can, trying not to complain about his ribs or the rest of his aching body, and he reaches the window in a few dumb steps. He leans his head against the cold glass, trying to calm his mind, trying not to scream in frustration. Slowly, he does some breathing exercises and when he calms down enough, he moves away from the window and then confronts his brothers.

“I'm sorry.” Dick begins to say, trying not to look very closely at each one's face, trying to ignore the concern that each one has surely engraved on his features. “For a moment I felt overwhelmed. I was dreaming something that I thought was real, okay? I didn’t want to scare you guys, I didn't know I was asleep.”

“Dick—” Jason begins to say but is interrupted by a small knock and the door opening. Bruce enters the room looking at everyone with a frown and then he looks at him, analyzing him and why he’s in the middle of the room and not on his bed. 

“What's going on? I thought I heard a scream. Is everything okay?” Bruce demands sternly.

"It was having a weird dream. But everything is okay.” Dick says before anyone can comment. As nobody says anything, Bruce nods not at all convinced but decides not to ask anything for now.

“Zatanna and Constantine are ready for a video call. Do you feel well enough to take it? Or perhaps—”

“I feel good. I just need to use the bathroom.”

Dick doesn’t wait for an answer and walks as fast as he can to the bathroom of his room trying not to limp at any time, _nope_, absolutely not. Once he arrives he closes the door behind himself and leans at the door, closing his eyes for a moment.

He walks to the sink and he doesn't dare to look at his reflection. He wets his face and pulls his long hair back, breathing long breaths trying not to disturb the ribs. It is when he feels a burning in his shoulder and when he lowers his eyes he can see strange marks inside his shirt. Dick immediately pulls the shirt away so he can look better and he lets out a surprised noise. 

There are nail marks on his skin.

Dick feels cold sweat going down his temple. _It can't be. It has to be a trick_. _Please, no, no, no._

But when he redirects his sight again, there aren't any marks. Dick wonders if he's hallucinating. _Fuck, everything is a mess_. He’s definitely going crazy. But Dick breathes, tries to compact his fear, his anxiety and keep them in a small box away from his head. There is no time to be afraid, there is no time to cry and hide. He has to raise his head and be strong. He has to show his family that he is fine, that they don't have to worry about him. They have to take care of themselves more than ever.

_‘You're good. You're fine, damn it. It's just stress.’_ Dick repeats himself again and again as he walks to the door and leaves.

Once they reach the cave, only Jason and Bruce go along him. On one hand, he prefers to be like that, he wouldn't want to have another panic attack and scare his little brothers even more. Jason is something like his anchor, he brings him to focus, here in the present. And Bruce is... well, Bruce.

Dick drops heavily on the chair in front of the bat computer. While Bruce adjusts some things, Dick makes small circles in his temple, trying to ward off the headache. He feels Jason's warm hand on his back and then he feels a small squeeze. Dick raises his head and gets ready for the act.

Two windows appear and then the face of Zatanna and Constantine appear on the screen. Dick tries to smile.

“Hey, Z,” Dick smirks looking at Zatanna across the screen, she gives him a sincere smile.

“Dick, I heard about what happened. You're okay?”

“Bullocks.” It's the first thing Constantine says when he sees him through the video call. “I see ya fell high, love.” Jason makes a noise of annoyance and Bruce simply crosses his arms raising his eyebrow. Dick doesn't take it wrong and giggles. 

“Yeah, you could say John. But I'm better, I feel so much better.”

“What happened?” Zatanna asks rolling her eyes at Constantine's answer.

“It's a long story, I know I look like I've been hit by a truck, I know. If it weren't for these bruises on my face I would look as great as ever.” Dick replies, making a gesture with his wings.

“You are having a molt. I cannot believe it.” Zatanna begins to say. “I didn't think it would happen, honestly. That means that it was indeed a powerful spell. Someone high-level in magic.”

“Someone like you?” Bruce asks.

“I do not think so. There are many kinds of magic, and I can't guess for sure what kind of magic she has. But I am very sure that it is dark and dangerous magic, but very powerful,” Zatanna responds. “As I said many times, this was not a random attack. Someone has a plan, they wanted Dick to have wings, they transformed his cells so that they could achieve all this and that he could have a real molt, like a bird. Everything has a reason.” Dick bites his lip heavily, running out of things to say.

“So the wings are not going to disappear any time soon, clearly.” Jason interrupts with an accusatory tone. When Dick briefly turns his attention to Jason, he can notice him throwing daggers towards Constantine's face. Dick tries not to smile. 

“No. It's been months. If any other sorcerer had done this, the wings would have disappeared in a short time. Not everyone has the ability to generate this kind of magic. There are not many people who can. That leaves us more likely to find her, but we would be at a great disadvantage.”

“That's why the manor has so many protection spells, huh? Well thought out, that is the only place where ya are safe. For now.” John comments looking at him. Dick feels a chill, _for now? _

“For now?” Jason comments clenching his fists. Saying out loud what Dick fears. “You two are supposed to do anything with magic. How can you not know who is doing this? How can you not fucking stop her now?”

“There are limits in magic, Jason,” Zatanna explains. “I have limits. But there is magic where there is no such thing. As an example, there is chaotic magic, there are no rules on it, and they can do anything, there’s no breaking point. When you face this kind of magic you cannot simply search in a book for all the people who these powers. They are off the radar. My magic doesn't work that way. It would be almost impossible to locate her if she is protecting her location. For now, we can only focus on protecting the manor and be alert in case she wants to attack.” Zatanna makes a gesture and then turns her attention back to him. “We can discuss that later, but I need to ask you something else, Dick. Tell me about your dreams.” Dick swallows hard trying not to show his nervousness. He doesn't want to tell them, he doesn't want Jason and Bruce to know, but he knows he must say it. So Dick tries to act. Act that everything is under control.

“They feel very real. They started weeks ago. Every night is the same, over and over again. I am in an old and strange house, I go up to the first floor and the door is always closed. But then I hear screams.” Dick starts to tell softly. He can see Bruce tightening his fists. “I kick and hit, but it doesn't open. Until the screams stop. It is when I enter the room and the first thing I see is a kind of greenish portal. Something calls me about it. But I always look away and… everyone is d—” Dick says closing his eyes, unable to finish speaking. _No, he can't do this_, not with Bruce right there, not with Jason listening to every word. Dick opens his eyes feeling them teary, immediately he tries to wipe them trying hard not to cry, not here. “What if... it's a warning?”

“Don't worry Dick. Everyone is safe here. I will not allow anyone to hurt your family, or for her to put her hands on you. I assure you that the entire community of magicians that I know will take care of their backs. You do not have to fear. Do you have other dreams, something strange?” Zatanna says trying not to look at him with pity and Dick thanks her for the effort, but he must look pathetic, hurt and broken, whom he wants to fool... Dick is perhaps not as strong as he thinks. 

“There is another dream that is repeated lately. In the dream I was walking through the forest, my wings looked longer and bigger, they were uncovered. I walked for hours until I saw a huge white mansion and when I approached the door it was always open, inside it looked like a museum, there were many—” Dick stops halfway through history and clenches his eyes, bringing his hand to his temple. Again those headaches. “I was— sorry. Headache." Dick lets out defeated.

“He had a contusion,” Bruce explains, approaching him and putting a hand on his forehead. “Don't force your mind.” He tells him softly.

“Okay,” Zatanna says with a comforting smile. “If you don't remember that's fine, those are only dreams, they don't mean anything as long as you don't take them seriously.”

“So what’s the plan?” Jason interrupts sharply. But when Dick turns to see him, Jason gives him a small smile, almost imperceptible and only for him. That gives him the strength to try to ignore the headache.

“For now, the highest priority is to watch Dick. I know you hate staying at home, but in what your wounds heal it is crucial that you don't leave the manor. I conjured a protection spell, while everyone is here, she cannot harm them. If she tried to attack, I would sense the attack and could come right away. So, for now, it is the best plan I can come with. I would like to be more helpful, but as long as she doesn't show up, we can't do anything. As long as she remains hidden, we cannot identify her.”

“I hate to agree with ya, but it's true,” John speaks for the first time more than just tiny words, taking out a cigarette and smoking it calmly. “I don't like to recommend that ya hide, because you're not a coward, Dick Grayson. But given the circumstances, _well_. If you want to keep your skin intact, staying there is the best option. Sooner or later, she is going to take the first step, and we have to be ready.”

“Can't we stop her before she can try to do something?” Bruce asks, frowning.

“We can only assume what she is, guess her powers on base of what she did to Dick. But we can't underestimate anything. For all I see, it is very likely to be a chaotic entity. But I can't assure anything. We can defeat her, as long as we know her powers, we can use what she wants against her, there are ways to catch a sorceress like her. But again, unfortunately, we cannot plan anything without knowing what we face. We can only make backup plans, be prepared against everything.”

“It's the only thing we have left, I guess,” Bruce says clenching his jaw. “What calms me a bit is knowing that the house is insured as well as possible. While we wait we can implement support plans, whatever is necessary.”

“Well, I think that works for now,” Jason says a little skeptical, but less defensively.

“I'm sorry I can't do anything for now. I know it's frustrating, but we can't let frustration become careless. It is the moment where you should be more alert to anything strange, a pattern, a dream. All these are messages. And you should not put aside your instincts, you need to follow them. It could be the difference between life and death.” Dick swallows hard trying not to think about all the messages and signals he is seeing, he knows that this is the time to _say it_, _to speak it, to ask for help_. But the lump in his throat intensifies and images of his shattered family make him shut his mouth. He can't take a risk, he can't make a mistake and submit to his hallucinations, none of that is real. Everything is _fine. _

“Dick? Are you sure that's all? Isn't there something else you're seeing? You can tell me.” Zatanna says softly as if she’s reading his mind. Dick shakes his head, forcing himself to release a sound of disappointment.

“It's all I have Z, I would like to be more useful but those dreams are the only thing I've had. And in fact, since the incident, I haven't dreamed anything. I guess it's a good thing, isn't it?”

“Hmm,” Zatanna says through the video call not looking very convinced, but wisely says nothing. “I don't know, maybe she is simply looking for another way to reach you. First, she began with dreams, your worst nightmares to make you feel scared. Then she can start with messages, signs that she’s still there, so you don't forget it. She wants to keep you unease, caged, stressed. She wants you to feel that you are alone because only there could you be vulnerable. It is a psychological game.”

“True,” Constantine comments scratching his chin. “It's a long and tedious strategy, but it gives ya the best results. You break someone slowly from the inside, and with that, you can get the person to do what you ask. It is extremely cruel if you ask me. But we can't expect less from a cruel numbskull.”

“And what can we do against that?” Bruce asks in a serious tone.

“I can go there and maybe I can protect Dick's mind, but I would worry a little about the contusion he has, I wouldn't want to overload his mind, it could be dangerous if Dick feels extremely charged with things in his mind.”

“I'm a little overwhelmed, yeah,” Dick comments softly.

“I know there is nothing I can tell you now to calm your mind, I'm sorry. I can only ask you to try to relax, the more you have your mind in stress, fear or some negative feeling, the easier she can manipulate you. We are vulnerable when we let those emotions cloud our thoughts. I know it's too much to ask, I know that with everything that's happening to you it sounds hard to stop feeling that way, but it's the best thing you could do now. Let your family take care of you, let us protect you.”

“Relax a little, have a drink, do things that the rich do, I don't know.” Constantine comments, Jason makes a noise of exasperation again. “Don't worry ya pretty little head on this. You'll be fine.”

“Thank you.” Dick answers without knowing what else to say.

“We will keep in touch, okay? I will be aware of everything. Take care of yourself, Dick.”

“Thank you, Z.”

“Cambio y Fuera, Bats.” Constantine makes a gesture with his cigarette. Both disconnect the video call and the cave is silent once again. Bruce looks too lost in his thoughts to tell him something, so Dick gets up slowly and then he feels Jason's hand take his forearm, being his support in more than one way.

“You heard Pretty Bird, nothing to worry about. We can watch those boring movies and eat popcorn. Sounds good?”

“Of course.”

A few hours later, Dick is sitting in the living room, surrounded by his brothers and junk food. (Alfred didn't approve but had to give in because of Dick's puppy eyes.)

For a moment he feels wonderful, for a moment there is nothing wrong in the world, there is only his family, the people he loves most at his side, together. 

For a moment, nothing else matters.

But every time Dick directs his eyes to the windows, he can't help feeling chills by imagining what is really out there.

_Waiting for him._

_____________

She walks through the trees, feeling the dry leaves creak under her black boots. Slowly she leans on a tree, passing her sharp nails through the trunk. She scans the mansion from the distance, perceiving the magic emanating from each brick in the house. She can't see the little bird from here, but she can perceive him. She can feel his sorrow and his frightened mind. He smells so _sweet_. She’s more than ready to catch the Pretty Bird, but she knows she has to wait, everything is settling. She can’t disturb the pattern of_ fate_. The more she feels the magic surrounding the mansion, she has to giggle. That magic doesn't work against her powers, and for that reason, everything seems so funny now. It seems curious to see so many people protecting a simple human. _What's so special about him? _

But if _he_ asked for that specific human, she must take it and fulfill the plan. It doesn't matter if it seems unnecessary. If _he_ requests it, _he_ gets it. And she has never failed. In addition, she must admit to herself that with so much time to observe such a human, even she is a little curious.

She likes the challenge, if not, _what fun would it be?_ If there is no resistance, if there is no fight, _what point would all that have?_ She is eager to test these humans, see their ability to protect a loved one. What will the famous Batman do when it comes to protecting his family?

It's a challenge, and she accepts it with interest. 

With a snap, she disappears from among the trees, leaving no trace of her presence. She just leaves a little present and the feeling of something dreadful staining the place with darkness.

You can find me on Tumblr <https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nightwingmar> ;) you can ask me anything. With pleasure, I will answer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for taking so looong, for a moment I ran of ideas. I have a very good concept about the next chapters, but actually I didn't have any for this chapter. Sorry if it was a little boring. 
> 
> Thanks for keep reading <3 
> 
> PD: That lyric it's a song by Halsey named Control and damn, I was hearing it while writing and this came out.


	25. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason POV.

Jason starts reading the same paragraph several times until he manages to concentrate enough to change the page. He feels like he's been reading the same thing over and over for a time without end. Honestly, his mind is absolutely focused on stroking Dick's right-wing.

It amazes Jason how the feathers are _growing_. It's a slow process, but being able to observe the change every day always leaves Jason truly dazzled. He feels he can't stop looking even if he tried. There is something electrical that doesn’t allow him to look away. The feathers are changing color and it is something stunning. While most feathers are still bright white, the inner layers of feathers are taking a beige color. Jason is sure that in the sunlight they could shine like gold. 

_Jason feels hypnotized just looking at the feathers._

That's when he decides to stop pretending and really lay eyes on Goldie. _Goldie_, who finally fell asleep. He would be lying if he didn't accept he is worried. Jason finds Dick staring at the void all the time, lost in his _mind_, oblivious to his surroundings. It is so strange to observe a person who never loses attention to be so disconnected from the present. And many times he had noticed Dick jumping when someone speaks to him, or when a sudden noise is heard and Dick trembles for a moment before regaining his calm. It’s _frustrating_. All of these actions are things that are a red light on Jason's mind. But Dick doesn't want to speak about it. And Jason would be a hypocrite if he were angry at the lack of communication because he definitely is the clear example of a person who never talks about his fears. But with Dick, he doesn’t have to fear. For the first time, Jason is ready to throw his walls, _to let him in_. Why is Dick not doing the same? Why is he closing his own walls _now_? 

Jason is afraid of not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say so that Goldie can trust him. He fears to be not good enough to try.

Dick looks better on his wounds, his bruises are turning in a yellow tone, and it shouldn't take long for them to disappear. But his face still looks tired, worn out. There are lines on his face and dark circles under his eyes. _Of course he’s not okay!_ There's a damn bitch trying to put his hands on him. The whole family is stressed and the atmosphere is heavy. _It’s a_ _fucking mess_. Jason feels that time is torture. Waiting for something to happen, waiting for nothing to happen. _Jesus, it is too much. _

Dick groans in his dreams and Jason gets closer to him. He already knows what to do to stop Goldie from having bad dreams. So delicately, he reaches his hand and slowly touches Dick's forehead, running his fingers through his soft skin, making a pattern of caresses. Being this close to Dick, _wow_, _steals his breath away_. For a moment, Jason forgets where he is and what is happening, he just stays focused looking at Dick closely. Jason slowly moves his hand to Dick's hair tangling his fingers through Dick's soft curls, smiling as he smells Dick's sweet shampoo. Jason brings his face closer feeling an adrenaline rush when he realizes how close he really is. He just needs to get a few inches closer and he _could_... 

“Jason!” Both (Dick and Jason) jump and due to the closeness, Dick's forehead hits Jason's nose, who lets out a growl, and Goldie makes a surprised noise. Tim lets out a '_shit_' but nobody says anything about it.

“What the fuck!?” Jason screams getting up and looking at the Replacement with an angry expression. _Fucking hell, what was he thinking? _

“Timmy?” Goldie asks instead rubbing his forehead and blinking several times. Tim enters the room looking a little pale. _Shit, did he see all that?_

“I'm so sorry, I didn't want to wake you up ‘wing. You're okay?" Tim asks remarkably sorry. Jason rolls his eyes in irritation and instead Goldie giggles.

“Don't worry, you just scare me. What were you doing so close Little Wing?” Goldie looks up at him with a cocky smile and Jason feels his cheeks boiling. _Fuck. Fuck. _

“I was— uh, it doesn't matter. What the fuck Replacement? Why did you scream my name like that?” Jason mumbles like a fool.

"Sorry— I was surprised, and I, hmm... Bruce needs you in the cave.” Tim answers.

“What? And what the fuck does the old man wants? Couldn't he come himself?” Jason crosses his arms. But Tim glares at him and there is something in his eyes. Jason translates that look as pleading. _Something happened_. “Fine,” Jason feels more than ready to get out of there. So he gathers courage and looks at Dick, who peeks at him with still that stupid smile. “Stay right there.” Jason points him with a serious expression, and Dick rolls his eyes now. 

“Yes, sir!” Goldie responds with a military salute. Jason resists the desire to smile at that pretty mouth. 

With that in mind, he arrives at the cave in a short time and sees Bruce turning his back on him. Jason is about to make a rude comment but stops as he really catches sight of the old man. He looks quite stiff. _Something's wrong_. When Bruce hears his almost silent footsteps, he turns to see him and Jason stops when he sees that look on his face.

“What the hell?” Jason asks more for himself. Bruce lets out a long breath.

“Jason.”

“Uh? What's going on?”

“She was here,” Bruce says slowly, shaking his head and directing his gaze towards the batcomputer. Jason walks slowly towards B looking at the screen as well.

“Who?” Jason knows what he means, but he prefers not to believe it. _Please no. _

“She…” Bruce almost spits out the words with bitterness. Jason can appreciate recordings from outside the manor and how he repeats a shot many times. “She was here, just outside the manor,” Bruce speaks again without taking his eyes off the recording. Jason clenches his jaw trying not to see green. 

“Fuck. How—?” 

“I don't know. Any alarm sounded, not a single detector show anything. The cameras were cut for a few seconds and then it's like nothing happened.” 

“And how do you know she really was here?” 

“Because she left something,” Bruce says slamming his fist against the table. Jason tries not to jump at the intensity of the blow echoing in the cave. “She left a message. Here, right in front of my nose.”

“Fuck, what did it say?” Jason asks feeling a headache, _damn, this is getting worse. _Bruce doesn’t say it but he makes a gesture so Jason follows him without asking questions. Bruce looks too angry, he looks ready to lose control, and Jason hasn't seen him like this for a long time. They both walk silently out of the cave and towards where the small forest is located.

“Titus found it.” Damian's voice makes him turn around. The demon is standing still, watching something on the ground. “He kept barking, so when I approached I could see what it was. Titus is reluctant to nearing again.”

Bruce stops and Jason does the same, looking at the ground. He feels immediate indignation, and he can understand why Bruce is acting like this, why Tim looked so pale. On the ground, among all the dry leaves and sticks, the message can be clearly seen. This time is not on another language, this time is loud and clear. 

It looks as if someone had burned that little area, as if life there simply rotted. There are feathers everywhere, but not small feathers, they look like... like Goldie's. And on the ground, as if it had been carved with some gadget, it says the following. _‘Give yourself up Pretty Bird or the consequences of your disobedience will be punished. Come to me, or I shall slaughter all the people who get in my way.’ _

Jason feels a knot in his stomach and for a moment he feels nausea rise through his mouth. _This... this is too much_. Before he can think better, Jason lets out a yell of rage and hits the closest he has. He feels the trunk creak against the force of his fist. O_r it was his hand?_ Jason releases another noise and continues hitting, but he stays still as he feels a hand on his shoulder squeezing subtly. Jason turns sideways and realizes it's Bruce, staring at him.

“Jason, stop. Calm down.” Jason jerks his hand away and steps away, trying to cool out.

“How am I going to calm down? That damn witch just made it clear that she won't stop until she has Dick. What the fuck are we going to do!? How do you expect me to calm down? I can’t!" Jason screams and Bruce clenches his jaw. 

“I know.” It is his simple answer. Jason wants to yell again. “She is provoking us. She wants just that.” Bruce says pointing to Jason's tight fists. “She wants us to lose control, she wants us to divide. It is a damn game. We are only his puppets, and she expects us to put up resistance, to react like this and make a mistake.” 

“And what else am I supposed to do? Go with Dick and tell him everything is fine? Nothing is ok. I cannot lie to him. I can't look at him and pretend everything is fine. Hell, _I can't_.” Jason says trying to control his voice, he doesn't want to sound like he really feels.

“I know,” Bruce says again, but he sounds defeated. “I can't lie to him either, I don’t want to. But if we show him this… you know what Dick is going to do.” Jason doesn't know what to answer, because he knows it's true. But this is a lot. If Jason felt confident a few minutes ago, he now feels like a loser. He doesn't have the courage to go with Goldie again and keep pretending as nothing happens. _He just can't_.

“What shall we do, Father?” Damian asks, he sounds like a damn child, _what he is_, what everyone forgets he it is sometimes.

“I do not know,” Bruce says and for the first time, he looks as lost as Jason feels.

“I am uncertain in showing this to Grayson,” Damian says crossing his arms. “It will hurt him and I can't allow that.”

“But not telling him, it's worse,” Bruce responds without looking at any. “If he finds out that we are hiding it from him, he could react badly. And I don't want him to be foolish and be blinded by guilt. I cannot allow that either.”

“In both ways Grayson can do something foolish. It doesn't matter if we tell him or not, Grayson will be hurt anyway. And I'd rather avoid it.”

“Damian, but if we don't tell him, she's going to find another way to leave a message. I bet she will continue to do so until Dick sees it with his own eyes.” Jason says trying to think of something, _any solution_. 

"But if she really wanted Dick to see it, she would have made it much less subtle. It's a test, to see our reaction, to see if we tell him.” Bruce says and Jason lets out a growl.

“Is everything a test for you? She just left another fucking message for Dick! Just like that damn message on the fucking dead people. She's having fun with us.”

“Then we tell him,” Damian says. Bruce and Jason turn their sights to him. “We tell him about the messages before it gets worse. Grayson is not an idiot, he totally knows that we are hiding something from him, and when he finds out about this because he _will_, he will think that we do not want to tell him because we think he’s weak... It's not fair to keep him away from all this, it’s better when you have all the pieces of the puzzle.” Jason would like to argue against that, but he knows it's true. The demon is right. But even so, knowing that it's the right thing, Jason doesn't have the courage to look Goldie in the eye and tell him this. _Nop_. _He can’t. _

“Okay,” Jason says before he can regret it. “But I won't tell him.”

“Coward,” Damian says between his teeth and Jason knows it's true.

"I'll say him," Bruce says with a slow nod. For a moment he doesn't look sure, but in a second his posture changes and shows that serious and determined old man. Jason doesn't know if he imagined that moment of weakness. “This cannot wait any longer.”

Jason turns around and leaves. But he doesn't walk back to Dick, he prefers to walk for a moment. Clear his mind.

Jason doesn't even know what he should do. He knows he's a real coward for not wanting to go with Goldie. But the very idea of seeing his face right now, _heck, is too painful_. But Jason knows he must be there, he must be his support, prevent Goldie from breaking further. He can't leave him when he needs him the most, even if Jason wanted to run away, he knows that more than ever he should stay. So he walks to the cave again and he sees Bruce on the batcomputer so he gets closer to the old man.

“We need to tell Zatanna about this shit.”

“I already did,” Bruce answers immediately while still typing. “I am waiting for her to return my call.”

“We need to make more plans. An emergency plan, I don't know. Get Dick out of here.”

“And where would we take him?” Bruce stops writing and turns to see him. “For now, it is the safest place for him.”

“There are many places where we can take him. I'm sure Zatanna must have somewhere in mind where she can take Dick in case something happens”

“Well, actually yes. But she didn't want to tell me much about it, it must be a location that none of us knows, to keep the place completely secret.”

“Witty,” Jason comments with a sigh. “So? When will you tell him?”

"First, Zatanna needs to see the message with her own eyes. We need to find a clue, something. Before the trail gets cold.”

“Are you trying to make time?” Jason comments trying not to laugh at how pathetic Bruce can be sometimes. 

“Of course not,” Bruce answers wrinkling his forehead.

“Aha. You are afraid, aren't you?”

“I fear his reaction. I fear what he may do.” Bruce admits. Jason can't help letting out a nervous laugh.

“Fuck.”

“Hey Jason, can I ask you something?” Bruce asks. Jason must clear his throat before he can say anything.

“What?” The question comes out much more aggressively than Jason was trying. _Oops._

“Could you keep Dick entertained for a few hours? I feel like the more I try to keep something hidden from him, the faster that he finds out.”

“Mmm, entertaining him in what way?” Jason must ask trying not to sound curious. He can't help the sassy smile that comes out of his face. Bruce clears his throat. 

“You know, read, watch a movie, cook, I don't know. You know him pretty well after all. Just keep him away from the cave.”

“Dick wouldn't come to the cave anyway, I know he finds it annoying not to patrol again.”

“I have seen the recordings of the cave. Dick comes here when there is no one with him. He likes to read the nightly reports and check what happened in the city.”

“Oh, typical of Dick,” Jason comments awkwardly, not knowing what else to say. Sneaky little dumb.

“So I am asking you to keep him away from the cave just for a few hours. Only in what I talk to Zatanna.”

Jason nods not very convinced and runs away from there in the direction of Dick's room.

Bruce acting like this gives him more headaches.

He arrives at Goldie's room in quick steps and closes the door. He finds Dick still in his bed, sleeping on his side with his wings around himself. Tim is sitting in the chair Jason was occupying, his face serious and tired. Jason wonders what his face must look like right now.

“Hey,” Tim whispers looking at him for a moment and then looking away.

“Timbo.” Jason sits up in the bed with the utmost care, trying not to wake up the sleeping beauty and trying so hard to compact all the feelings from minutes ago. But he knows that if he’s good at something, is in hiding what he really feels. And well, now he needs to think of something to entertaining Dick for a while. _Okay, very easy_.

“You saw it?” Tim asks taking him out of his mind for a moment. It takes Jason just a second to understand what he means.

“Yes, I saw it.” The mere memory of that message gives him goosebumps.

No one says anything again for a long moment. Jason never imagined that something like this would happen. He never thought that a meeting all those months ago with a sorcerer would become this journey of ups and downs, _and right now..._ it is only descending more towards an outcome to which he can do nothing. He wishes to go back in time and never set foot in that warehouse. But it's no use thinking about the past. The present is here, warning of the danger of what may happen.

His thoughts are interrupted when the bed moves and then he sees Goldie move his wings pulling them away from his body, he yawns and then focuses his gaze on him.

“Jay, hey,” Dick says sitting slowly and stretching both arms. Jason looks up and when his eyes meet Dick, he can immediately notice how the blue-eyed bites his lip for a second and then he ran his eyes all over Jason's face. Goldie can perceive something’s wrong with him, _shit, he really knows him so well? _“What happened?” _yeah, he does. _

“Do you want to cook something?” Jason asks out of the blue. Goldie opens his eyes in surprise and Tim lets out a cough.

“What?”

“I was going to bake a cake. Wanna help?”

“Mmm… okay, right. But you know I'm not allowed in the kitchen. I'm a mess.” Dick says flapping his wings dramatically.

“Yes, you are. But that doesn't mean that I can't try to teach you something, right? What's the worst that could happen?”

“Burn down the kitchen?” Tim whispers and Dick giggles. Jason ignores him.

“Come on Birdie, don't be shy.”

_____________

After almost two hours, Jason puts the mold back into the oven a second time with a sigh. He quickly cleans his hands in the apron he is wearing and he draws nearer to Goldie, who is still stirring a bowl with a spatula? He is full of flour and has a chocolate-stained face. _And damn, he looks undeniably adorable. _

“Jay, I don't know what happened.” Goldie begins to say, placing his head on his hand and looking at the strange mixture that is inside the bowl and on most of the table. “I mixed every ingredient you told me, I followed your orders step by step and still this strange stuff came out, I don’t understand.”

“Look, Dickie, sometimes things don't go as we expect,” Jason says leaning back on the table and looking at Dick with a half-smile. “The truth is that you are a fucking mess in the kitchen.” 

“Hey!” Dick says offended moving closer to Jason, who remains in place with a cheeky grin. “I can be a mess in the kitchen, but there are many things I'm good at. Better than good, actually.” Dick says with a lovely smile.

“Yeah? Like what?” Jason asks, not looking away for a second, getting even closer to Dick until their faces are quite close.

“A lot of things,” Dick says winking with another smile. Jason feels he is out of breath for a moment.

“Maybe you can show me something,” Jason says seriously, Dick tilts his head to the side looking at him mindfully.

“I could show you something right now.”

“Yeah?” Jason says bringing his face closer. _He’s so close_, just like this morning. He just needs to move _and..._ Dick reaches out and rubs his fingers across Jason's face leaving a smear of his weird cake mix. Jason curses touching his cheek, feeling the paste staining almost half of his entire cheek. 

“_Dick!_” Jason lets out hearing the laughter of Goldie, who moves away from him touching his stomach. Jason immediately takes a napkin cleaning his face. “Why did you do that?”

“I wanted to show you how dumb you are,” Goldie answers as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Jason throws the napkin in the trash and when he turns around he realizes that Dick had stained his own mouth and chin with the mixture. “Yup. How much time we must wait until the cake?”

“Mmm,” Jason says getting closer again and casually bringing his finger to Dick's mouth and chin, cleaning the chocolate stain and then bringing it to his own mouth and cleaning his finger nonchalantly. Dick stands comically still, widening his eyes in surprise. Jason tries not to laugh and turns around, pretending to check the oven. “I would say about 45 min.” 

“Uh.” Dick mumbles. Jason turns around and looks at Dick with a wide grin. _‘Who is the fool now?’_ Jason would like to say, Dick's face is pure art.

“What happened, Pretty Bird, did the cat eat your tongue?” Jason sits across from him on one of the stools. Dick lets out a sarcastic laugh, touching his lips and then he pulls his hand away when he notices the gesture. 

“Of course not,” Goldie says. “I just rambled on something.”

“Huh, I see. Well, what do you want to do while we wait for my amazing cake?”

“I don’t know. Do you want to go for a walk?” Goldie says sounding a little hopeful, Jason immediately feels the tension return to his body.

“Dick— I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think it's safe.”

“Bullshit. Why wouldn't it be safe?”

“Uh, let me remind you that there is a bitch hunting you right now, who can literally fly and has fucking magic."

“Trust me I don't forget Jason,” Dick says bitterly and Jason curses at the change of mood. “It's just that I can't spend the rest of my life hiding, I can't. And you know it.” 

“I know Dickie, I know. But c’mon, don’t underestimate what may happen, the danger you may be in. I know I sound fucking paranoid, but it's the safest thing for now.”

“Yeah,” Dick says giving up, leaning even more on the table as if the energy has gone from him again. 

“Hey, I know it's hard. But soon it will all be over, somehow we will stop all this and everything will go back to the way it was before. Okay?”

“Ok, Little Wing.” Jason nods feeling that usual heat wrap his chest every time he hears that nickname.

“Well, we should clean up this mess before Alfred expels you forever from the kitchen.”

“He wouldn't do something like that,” Dick says with that same old smile. He doesn't look stressed or down, he doesn't look terrified from sleeping or lost in his mind, he shines with his usual light and Jason feels happy to be able to contribute to that smile. _It makes him proud_. 

_____________

Hours later, they are both sitting on a balcony with their feet coming out of the edge, watching the afternoon, and eating chocolate cake. Jason bites his lip trying to hold back the laugh again. Dick has not stopped laughing with the anecdotes that Jason has told him.

“And that's how I ended an organization with just a screwdriver and a spoon.” 

“I can't believe you. Stop!” Goldie says leaving his empty plate aside and removing tears of laughter from his bright eyes. “Stop, my stomach is hurting.”

“Is all true Birdie, every word. And that doesn't even reach my top 5.” Jason says smiling as he hears Dick give another laugh, his wings move every time the laugh comes out and it is a cute picture. Jason would like to record this moment in his memory forever. 

“Jaaaay, please stop it.” Dick manages to say between chuckling, looking at him with a gesture of pain. “My ribs are not happy, by the way.” 

“Shit,” Jason says recalling the wounds still healing from Dick, slowly he pats Goldie on the back when he releases a few coughs. “I forgot.”

“Me too,” Dick says shaking his head and directing his eyes outward. It begins to get dark and the sky is painted in orange and purple colors, a strange sight compared to the usual gray sky. As soon as he feels the air, Jason wonders if they should get away from the balcony, but watching Dick and seeing his relaxed face as the air moves his hair is a relaxing sight. Jason can't take that moment away from him. Not now. “For a moment I forgot everything.”

“Humm” Jason mumbles directing his eyes outward, feeling the change in temperature.

“Yeah,” Dick says with a long sigh, flapping his wings to hug himself. “I just wish I could stay like this and forget everything else.”

“I know,” Jason mutters directing his eyes to Dick again, not knowing what else to say. “He should go,” Jason says without thinking, but Dick looks at him with a weird expression on his pretty face. “Let's get out of here, far away from Gotham.”

“You're joking?” Dick whispers. 

“No, I'm not. We could just leave and never come back.” Jason feels his heart racing with the idea of he and Goldie running away, just the two of them, far away from this shit hole, far away from the witch... but before Dick can answer, the door burst open. 

“Jason!” They both turn to hear the worried voice of Tim, who approaches the balcony turning on the light in the room. “I didn't know where you guys were, for a moment—” 

“We're fine Timmy, what's up? Something happened?” Dick asks right away, again in his role as big brother.

“No, it's just that Bruce wants to talk to you,” Tim says slowly, shooting Jason a look. _Dammit_.

“Oh, it's fine. Are you coming, Jay?”

“Okay.”

They both close the balcony doors and the three leave there, then they walk in silence down the stairs and into the cave, Tim is lost on the road saying he has some things to do. Jason feels anxiety burn his stomach and for a moment he feels sick.

Bruce is turning his back to them, looking at many papers and photographs scattered on a table, he doesn’t look up at any of them and when Jason looks at him more closely he can see that the old man looks even tenser. Something in his pose makes him even more nauseous.

“What's up Bruce? Tim sounded very serious. Did you find anything?” Dick asks facing Bruce, and then he looks at the whole mess of papers on the table. 

“Dick,” Bruce says, his tone serious and devoid of any emotion. “I need to tell you something.” 

“Go ahead, tell me,” Dick says biting his fingernail slowly, a nervous gesture. Whatever Jason has seen in Bruce, Dick can see it too and even better than him. After all, he knows him better than everyone else. Jason sees Dick move his wings nervously, a gesture the older makes when he feels helpless or nervous. Dick looks like a little bird with his wings bent and that's exactly how he should feel. “Come on Bruce, I've never seen you so hesitant about telling me something. Say it already.” Goldie says for the third time in almost a minute, Bruce clenches his jaw even more. 

“This morning Titus found something.” Bruce begins to say, looking Dick in the eyes. “I didn't want to tell you because I wanted to be sure it was what I believed, so I talked to Zatanna and asked her to come and give it an eye herself. She confirmed what we feared.” 

“What are you talking about? What happened?” Dick asks, again looking nervous and alert.

“This,” Bruce says holding a photograph up to Dick. “She left this.” Dick immediately swallows hard and with trembling hands takes the picture. When he reads the threat, he immediately throws it away, looking at Bruce with teary eyes.

“You mean that— that she was here? Outside the manor?” Dick asks forcefully. “She left that... for me?”

“Yes, she was here. And I have no idea how she did it, Zatanna was honestly a little surprised. I didn't want to hide it from you any longer, Dick. This is serious, and I honestly don't know what else I should do. And besides that,” Bruce says looking away for a moment to take more pictures; Jason clenches his fists as he recognizes the photos of the murdered people. When the old man looks up, he looks vulnerable. “She is also guilty of all this.”

Dick stays quiet for a long moment, watching the photographs with wet eyes, observing the bodies and scratches of the dead victims, Dick releases the photographs covering his mouth with both hands. For several minutes, he says nothing. Jason feels that lump almost close his throat. From one moment to another, Dick makes a noise and barely manages to throw up on a trash can, Jason tries to think of something to say, when he tries to get close, Dick stands up with shaky legs, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. 

“Dick—” Bruce tries to say, but Dick shakes his head, not looking him in the eyes.

“Don’t.” It's the only thing Dick says, turning his back on both of them.

“Son...” Bruce tries again, approaching Dick and putting a hand on his shoulder. Dick trembles at the contact and Bruce pulls his hand away as if he's been burned. Dick moves away further.

“No. I don't want to hear anything you have to tell me.” Dick whispers shaking his head.

“Listen to me—” 

“No! Don't say it was necessary. Don't say damn it. Why did you keep me so long away from the truth? All those deaths... are my fault. How could you do that to me, Bruce?” Dick says between gasping breaths. He is hyperventilating. “And then this. It is a damn threat. She is threatening you guys! I can't…” Dick says closing his eyes, his wings stay glued to his back but they look fluffed.

“I'm sorry...” Bruce lets out trying to get closer but Dick raises his hand, shaking his head again. “I know what are you feeling, and believe me I wish I could put an end of all this, but I can’t. Put yourself in my place, I was afraid that you were going to do something stupid, that you would succumb to guilt and fear, I can’t allow you to do something like that and put yourself in her clutches. Those deaths are not your fault, don't even think about it for a second Richard.” 

“And you could put yourself in my shoes!?” Dick screams quite loudly, tears about to spill from his eyes. “You expect me, me? To stay idly while she threatens my family? Do you expect me to stay here allowing her to keep massacring innocent people? You're right, I'm willing to do a ‘stupid thing’ as long as you all are safe Bruce, she was here. _Here!_ Dammit! How do you expect her not to come back and kill you all? Or more innocent people? And I'm not going to hide like a coward and let that happen.” 

“Richard… none of this is your fault. I need you to place that in your head. Understood? She's just messing with your mind, she wants to hurt you, she's setting traps and messages for you to do just that. But I promise you that I won't let something happen, believe in me. I have it under control.” Dick shakes his head again. He looks like he’s about to have a panic attack. Jason would like to come closer, would like to say something. But there is nothing he can say to change things, there is no way to calm Dick now. 

“Did you know?” Dick asks suddenly, looking him straight in the eye. Jason swallows hard feeling his heart ache at that look. “Jason, did you know this?”

“Yes,” Jason replies trying not to sound hurt. Dick stares at him and his face shows pain and disappointment. 

“And you did not tell me anything? You— you were just trying to distract me, keep me away from this?” Dick says looking away remarkably distressed, it feels like a slap in the face, Jason feels a lump form in his stomach. 

“Dick—” Jason begins to say.

“No. I don't want to hear it.”

With quick steps, Dick walks away without looking back. Jason must breathe deeply to pull the knot aside and not tremble. Bruce stays completely still and then drops tiredly into a chair. Jason gets out of there following Dick, he can't let his cowardice drive Dick away again, he can't allow the blue-eyed to feel even more guilty and lose himself in his mind like all these days. 

On the way to Dick's room, he finds Damian and Tim and both brats look at him with a guilty expression but Jason doesn't stop. He stares at the closed door and when he tries to open it he finds it closed, he knocks several times trying not to kick it. 

“Dick... Dickie. Please open the door. Just hear me out.”

“Leave me alone Jason!” Dick screams. Jason tries not to shake at the loud tone.

“Just hear to me, okay? Just hear my reasons. If you don't want to hear me later I will understand, but please open the door.” Silence makes him lay his forehead against the door, hearing inside the room. For a moment, Jason fears that the door will remain closed. But then he hears almost silent footsteps approaching, Dick unlocks the door, opening it just a little, revealing his face. His big blue eyes are full of tears, he looks exhausted, angry, and scared. But before he can say anything, Dick points him with his finger. 

“No, you listen to me first.” Dick starts to say. “How do you expect me to hear you, Jason? You didn't have to lie to me.”

“I didn't—” Jason begins to say but Dick interrupts him.

"Of course you did! By not telling me anything you did it, by telling me that everything was fine, you were lying to me. I thought... I thought we were getting to something. But it seems that you don't want to move forward. You keep hiding things from me. How do you want me to trust you?” Dick says out loud.

“Sorry. I was afraid, okay? I was afraid that you would react just like this. I was so afraid that you would run away and let yourself be caught by her. I'm still scared, I couldn't— I-I can't let that happen. I can't lose you, okay? Everyone is willing to fight so you can stay safe, I know you hate that, but you have to understand. We didn’t tell you because if you feel guilty you can put yourself at risk no matter what happens to you, but Dickie, I can't let you do that. Not after all.” Dick closes his eyes, leaning his face on the half-open door, saying absolutely nothing. Jason slowly puts his hands on the door and slowly pushes it open, never taking his eyes off him. “I know you're angry...” 

“I'm not angry!” Dick screams taking a few steps back and releasing the door. “I'm terrified! Jason, I'm scared to death. How do you expect me to feel after knowing that she threatened to kill you if I don't do what she tells me? How do you expect me to react? My nightmares— they could come true. How do you expect me not to do something about it?”

“I'm sorry, Dickie, but I can't let her put her hands on you. Believe me, I won't let that happen.”

“But what about all the people who may be in danger? They are innocent people, Jason! I can't let something happen to people who have nothing to do with this. You can't ask me to ignore that, because I can't let anyone else to get hurt either.” Dick says raising his voice again. Jason knew this was waiting for him, he knew that would be Dick's reaction. He just didn't know how it would hurt. 

“This sounds selfish, but I care more about you. Put yourself in my place.”

“How can you say that?” Dick says notoriously surprised. “How can you prefer one life rather than the life of innocent people? You don’t care?”

“Dick, of course, I do. It’s against my principles, of course I care about the people. But it's you! And you— you mean a lot to the family.” _‘you mean a lot to me.’_ “But there is always more than one path we can take. We have more options, if you don’t expect Bruce to already have thousands of backup plans then you don't know him at all.” 

“I know,” Dick says defeated. With slow steps, Dick lays his forehead in Jason's chest, and without hesitation, he wraps Dick in his arms. “But it's too much... this is all _too much_.”

“I know Dickie, I know. But you are not alone.” Jason says putting his chin over Dick's head, who spreads his wings wrapping them around Jason. “Don’t believe for a moment that I will leave you alone. You don't have to carry this weight alone. I'm here with you Birdie.” Dick nods releasing a noise of anguish but he doesn’t get away. Slowly, Dick moves away from his chest, looking up and looking into his eyes. Jason understands that beaten look so he draws near his face leaving his lips on Dick's forehead, trying to encourage him. Jason slowly pulls his face away, touching Dick's unruly hair with slow movements. Dick leans against his hand, releasing a strong breath and then closing his eyes. Jason stays right there, not moving much and just hugging Dick against him, knowing he doesn't want to let him go at any time. But Dick opens his eyes and gives him a sorrowful look.

“I want to be alone.”

If only he had known what would happen, he would never have let Dick _go_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost there!! :0 
> 
> what other tags do you think I should put? I hear you guys! thanks for reading, thanks for the kudos and the comments, is the best in the world :') <3


	26. Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick POV.

Dick leans against the locked door closing his eyes and trying to ignore his dry mouth and the urge to throw up _again_. He can hear Jason still outside the door, so with shaky legs, he walks slowly into the bathroom closing the door and heading to the sink and wetting his face trying to wipe off the tears that keep coming out, Dick refuses to pay attention to them. He picks up his blue toothbrush and starts brushing his teeth trying to get the bad taste out of his mouth, and in doing so he can't help but notice Jason's red toothbrush. _He tries to not cry harder at that. _

Once he finishes rinsing his mouth, he decides to take a bath in the hope that his body relaxes a bit. Once in the shower, Dick tries to just focus on bathing and not thinking about what he just found out. He tries to stop crying but it’s really not easy. And _well_, cry in the shower is something that Dick does often anyway, so he lets himself cry without feeling guilty. He really tries not to think about everything, but it's so hard. He really tries not to repeat that threat in his head, _but how could he ignore it?_ Everything is just so much. For a moment everything crashes together in his head, the constant fear, his dreams, the threats, the nonstop paranoia that hadn’t let him sleep, and Dick feels that he cannot breathe. He lets out a sob and he’s surprised to hear how broken his voice sounds. That makes him sob harder but he immediately puts a hand over his mouth.

Dick knows the walls have _ears_. He knows Jason is still behind the door.

He doesn't want Jason to feel guilty; none of this is his fault. But Dick gives himself permission to cry and lie on the porcelain floor, his back and wings protesting against the cold surface of the shower, but Dick stays there trying to control his breathing, trying to stop feeling the pain inside him that leaves empty and weak. When he realizes, the water is gone cold. So with shaking hands, he closes the water, staying there a moment longer just trying to find the strength to get up. A few minutes later he takes a clean towel drying himself with clumsy movements, he puts on clean clothes, dries his wings, brushes his teeth again, all in autopilot. When he blinks again, he is sitting on his bed with the vest to cover his wings in his hands.

Dick knows that feeling that tells him what he _should _do, he is sure that there is a buzz in the air that whispers what he _has_ to do. So almost in autopilot _again_, he takes his sneakers and looks for new bandages and then he does a quick and awkward job wrapping his wings behind his back, he manages to put on his vest and put on a loose shirt and then a hoodie. When he returns to himself, he realizes that he is in front of the window. But he doesn't dare to make a move. _No, he can't go._

Dick stays frozen running a hand through his still-wet hair. He looks at the clock next to his nightstand, 10:44 pm. It is not yet late, but it is not so early either, _what could he do at this time_? _where could he go?_ Dick begins to walk in circles around the room, trying to calm his mind. It's when he's about to open the window that he hears voices in the hallway, he can recognize Damian's voice speaking to Jason, but he doesn't try to hear what they say. Then he hears a knock on the door. 

“Grayson? Is everything okay in there? Why did you lock the door?” Damian says in his calm, collected tone as usual. But Dick can hear the worried tone his little brother lets out. Hearing no response, Damian insists again. “Richard? Please answer.” 

“Everything is fine Dami. I just need a little privacy.” The words taste bitter in his mouth, but surprisingly he sounds much calmer than he actually feels. _Keep your shit together_. 

“Tt. Could I come in? I want to make sure everything is truly fine. You don't have to be alone.”

“Sorry Dami, but I need to be alone for a moment. I'm going to sleep early. _Please_.” Dick releases some of his affliction into his tone, knowing that his brother is particularly good at recognizing his state of mind. 

“Okay, I'll give you your space if that's what you want. I just want to make it clear that… that I owe you an apology if at any time you felt hurt by my actions of keeping silent. It was a stupid action. I'm sorry that everything happened like this. Remember that you can come with me if you want to talk. If you need me… you know where to find me.” Damian sounds like a child despite his serious tone and mature words. Dick tries to swallow the tears. 

“Thanks, Little D. _I know_. Good night.”

“Good night Richard, see you tomorrow.”

Dick stares at the door until he hears the footsteps walk away and then he lets out a sigh. He wanders around in his room again until he hears new footsteps and he knows it's Jason, he just _knows_. He knows that Jason will not open the door. He knows that Jason is trying to give him space and this is his way of doing so. Dick feels a pain in his chest as he also remembers the ache of the lies that everyone was telling him. He knows they were trying to protect him, but Dick is so tired of having to keep demanding to be told the truth when that shouldn't be asked at all. It hurts that they all think he’s _weak_, that he cannot take care of himself, that they are so overprotective with him. _Damn_, he’s the adult, he’s the older brother! He should be protecting everyone, not the other way around. With that in mind, he walks silently to the window and spends a few minutes just standing there. So much indecision is not good. He knows he should go to bed and think things through in the morning. He knows that at this moment his mind is unstable. Making decisions right now is _dangerous_. But just remembering the photos of the innocent people, the message carved on their dead bodies and that it was directed for his eyes only, in his own language; the language his parents taught him, that is part of his heritage and history. _It is like a kick to the gut._

Dick tries not to cry again and slowly he begins to open the window, knowing how to disable the protection alarm. He realizes that everything is going suspiciously fine, he manages to open the window without any problem. He feels the cold air hit his face and he lets out a slow breath. Then he's closing the window again and sliding down the tree smoothly. With both feet on the ground, Dick realizes he has no plan, doesn't even know what he _should_ do. The adrenaline just makes him run without thinking.

For a moment he loses track of the reality and his mind just disconnects, he doesn’t know what he’s _doing_ or _where_ he’s going, he only lets his feet run and his senses guide him. When he manages to get a sense of reality again, he is standing on the side of the road, away from the manor, from his home. _How he got here?_ _How did he get past the fences of the manor?_ Dick knows that he should be suspicious, should know that there is something wrong. But at the same time, he wants to stop fucking thinking. So he starts moving his feet, one after the other, walking without looking back. 

After what it feels like forever but he knows it wasn't that long, _or maybe it was?_ He stops to catch his breath. He feels drained, his right foot is throbbing and he knows he shouldn't be putting much weight on it, his ribs ache with every deep breath. But that doesn’t compare with his broken heart. So Dick keeps walking, the pain and exhaustion manage to drive his thoughts away, so he just focuses on keep going. He stumbles over something and then stops when he realizes he is in the city. The lights hurt his eyes for a moment, Dick blinks and immediately he knows where he is, he knows the city almost like the palm of his hand. He stands still trying to think of what to do. He meditates if he should go with someone he knows, someone who can help him. Barbara is close, _damn_, he knows that there are many people who would welcome him with open arms right now. But the memory of the threats returns like a hot slap. He knows he can't put anyone else at risk. Anyone who he contacts can become another target. And he can't bear more blood on his hands. 

He can't go to Blüdhaven, _too predictable_. Dick tries to remember somewhere, and then he almost slaps himself, _puff_. A few blocks away there is a flat he can use, a safe house that he keep in private in case there was an emergency. Well, now’s the time. So Dick walks there, gazing at everything around him as if it were the first time, as if he had not seen the world for years. Gotham is loud and shiny like every night. People walk here and there; the night is young in this part of the city. It is not as ‘insecure’ as the rest of the city. (who’s kidding, everywhere is insecure). Restaurants are full, the same with pubs, clubs, cinemas, theaters. Dick recognizes almost all the places; he knows the menu of some restaurants by heart. People also know him very well, some people watch him whispering things, so Dick puts on his hoodie trying to hide his face as best he can. 

It felt like an eternity since the last time he was alone, that he has walked around the city as an ordinary person, not as a vigilante. He didn't know how much he missed it until now, until he could hear, see and breathe all this again. Dick checks his pockets trying to find out what he has with him. He curses himself when he sees that he only has his wallet and his phone. He knows that the phone was a mistake, his family can find him faster, but he also knows that it was on purpose, he doesn't want to get too far away, he doesn't want to run away. He just needed to _breathe_.

He checks his wallet and realizes he has at least some money, so he buys a strong coffee to stay awake and not have those disconnected moments where he doesn't know what he's doing. The lady who takes his order recognizes him and draws a heart and her number on the container, Dick tries to smile and leaves there ashamed. When Dick arrives at the street where the flat is, he curses himself again when he realizes he doesn't have keys, but as he goes up the stairs he remembers that he left a key hidden. The place is almost deserted, not many neighbors are heard. It’s been a long time without coming to this place. He finds the hidden key buried in an old pot, so Dick opens the door and closes it quickly, putting the locks on. Dick leaves the lights off just to see the light of the city passing through the windows. For a moment, he felt like a normal person, like he was part of the bunch, a regular average man. But when he leans his back against the door, his wings protest and the reality hits him again. Dick has never been normal, but now... his life can’t ever be the same again. He knows that very well. But the thought hurts again, like an old wound that never healed as it should. 

Dick turns on the lights and closes the curtains, admiring for one last time the glittering city. He takes a tour of the flat, it is not very big or luxurious, but it’s a nice and cozy place. Dick finishes his coffee and starts to check what he left here. Some clothes, some personal stuff, there’s not any weapons in sight, maybe just and old bat. There’s no food, just a few expired macaroni and cheese, and an almost empty cereal box. He checks everything trying to keep himself busy so he doesn't have to think, so he doesn't have to remember anything. He takes off his shoes and walks barefoot. He goes from here to there, doing nothing, just making time. The more time passes, the more aware he becomes of what he has done. 

“Shit.”

Dick whispers to nothing. He didn't know he still had the guts to run away and do something so stupid. The adrenaline wants to return but Dick tries to stay in the present, to think about what he did, what he’s doing right now. Running away from home like a stupid teenager, leaving the safest place where he could be, with a crazy witch who wants to take him away for who knows what. Everything seemed so easy; everything went so well that he didn't have time to even try to stop. It seems strange to him that there isn’t yet a member of his family breaking down the door and taking him home. It seems strange that even his phone doesn’t ring or he doesn’t have missed calls. They must have realized his absence by now, _right?_ Jason was behind the door! They must have let him go on purpose just so he could calm down and now they're watching him from the window, _right?_ Dick looks out the window and sees nothing strange. Something doesn’t fit. It shouldn't be that easy, _huh?_

Dick tries not to have a panic attack again feeling that paranoia. He turns on the small TV in the living room to have some noise and not drown in the silence of the lonely apartment. He walks into the bathroom and closes the door. He knows he can't panic, he has to relax. He picks up his phone wondering if he should dial Jason’s number. _What if something happened to them? What if she break into the manor? _

Dick drops the phone, his hands shaking when he manages to bend down and pick it. _No, nothing’s wrong_. _They are fine_. _They had to be fine. _

He starts to dial Jason's number ready to cry and tell him he’s sorry and that he needs him right now, but when he is about to call he hears a noise in the apartment. Dick feels a chill run down his spine. He barely realizes that the TV noise sounds choppy, everything is silent, a silence that drowns him. Dick begins to tremble and tries to control himself. Fear hits him like never before. So he leaves the phone on the sink and walks slowly to the living room, not without first carrying a baseball bat that was in the closet, he doesn’t remember how it got there, but he feels a little more secure when holding it tightly in his hands walking down the hall. Quickly he scans the living room and kitchen, but there’s nothing. He peeks at the TV and as the signal seems cut off, Dick slowly gets closer and out of nowhere the signal returns, making him jump at the sudden sound. Dick lets out a shaky breath but doesn't lower the bat. He walks to the door and looks through the peephole, but there is nobody there either. He makes sure all the locks are in place and leans his face against the wooden door. _Maybe he’s really losing his mind._

Dick turns around and walks down the hall, but before he can enter the room he clearly hears a laugh. Dick drops the bat out of inertia; he feels his body tremble at the sound, the same sound that resonated in his nightmares for so long, but listening it for real is a thousand times worse. Dick picks up the bat again and walks over to where he heard the laughter, and then he finds her right there, leaning on the kitchen table nonchalantly. She looks exactly as he remembers her, in that long dress and black boots. With long, tousled hair. Dick blinks repeatedly trying not to break down in tears. _‘It's not real. You are dreaming. Wake up.’ _

She stands still, piercing him with her big green eyes, eyes that look like they know everything, as they've already seen everything.

“You are not dreaming, beloved. Quite the opposite.” She speaks. Her voice icy and creepy. Her sharp teeth stand out when she lets out a smug grin. “Boo.”

Dick freezes, he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know what to say. He stands there without moving, almost without breathing, just holding the bat with too much force. Before she can speak again, Dick runs into the room, slamming the door shut and dragging a piece of furniture to lock the door. He knows that it is pointless, he knows that if she wanted she would have already taken him, she’s just _playing_. The simple thought makes him laugh, but it sounds more like a sob. Dick moves away from the door holding the bat as if his life depended on it. His legs tremble again and it is impossible to ignore it any more when he falls on his back, he just sits there closing his eyes. _‘Please no, no, no. I want to wake up.’ _

Dick regrets going out, regrets not having called Jason, but he’s also relieved that he’s alone. Nobody else is going to get hurt, but that doesn’t make it any easier. He lets out another sob, he sounds like a scared and helpless creature. But Dick cannot control his body. He regrets leaving without saying goodbye, without giving one last hug, _one last first kiss_. Thinking that this noon it might be the last time he had seen his family makes him whimper and the pain in his chest keeps him from passing out. 

He hears noises behind the door and wonders why she’s taking so long. _Is she just making fun of him?_ But then the door flies off and crashes into the other wall, destroying itself in thousands of pieces of wood flying in all directions. Dick gets up without knowing how and finds strength he didn't think he still had.

He cannot allow being taken without giving one last fight. Dick isn’t a coward, and although he knows he has no chance, he moves toward the door with his bat raised. She walks calmly towards him, looking him up and down. She gives another laugh that freezes him in place, but Dick lets out a cry of rage and runs towards her, ready to strike. She raises her hand when the bat is just inches from her face. Dick makes a noise trying to move the bat, but it is as if there’s an invisible wall between her and him. Dick drops the bat with a cry of defeat and looks into her eyes, trying to prove that he is still ready to fight. 

“My dear boy, you still possess that wild and untamed spirit. Perhaps, after all, you may not be so disappointing.” Dick gulps and she tilts her head to the side, still analyzing him with icy, calculating eyes. “Nightwing, it's time for you to come to terms with your future. Don't waste your insignificant strength trying to face me. You don’t stand a chance against me.” Dick uses that moment of distraction and holds the bottles of lotion and other products throwing them at her face. She laughs and lets them crash on her face, but she doesn't move a single muscle, nor does she remove that smug smile.

“Get away from me!” Dick finally screams out of his trance and runs away from her. He tries to think of another way to escape. She makes a noise of exasperation and reaches out, something grabs his ankle and drags him toward her. For a moment Dick feels a shadow envelop his entire body, Dick tries to fight but everything happens in seconds and when Dick blinks against the darkness he’s in the kitchen dining room, sitting on a chair. When he tries to get up he feels something holding his wrists, chest, and legs and realizes that there are thick chains tying him to the chair. Dick grunts trying to break free of the chains. It’s clearly impossible. 

“Enough.” Her voice makes him jump. Dick watches her circle around him, watching him like a hunter. Dick tries to move his mind away from the adrenaline and the desire to escape and he remains still, evaluating his situation. “Do not tempt my patience; we can do this for the good or the bad way. The decision lies in your hands, Nightwing.” Dick tries to move again but his brain yells at him to wait, to listen carefully. _Nightwing_. _His secret identity_. Dick looks up at her in surprise.

“What...?” Dick must swallow hard, his voice sounds small. Dick doesn’t recognize his own voice. “How—?”

“I know everything.” She exclaims gesturing with her hands, her long nails making him jump again knowing there’s no escape. “I know who you are, Dick Grayson. Nightwing.” She says quietly, not looking away even for a moment. “Robin. The circus brat. I know all about you, beloved.” She says with that same grin. Dick freezes again. This is_ bad_, more than bad. Dick should ask her how she knows, but it's more than obvious, she's not human. “Come on, you looked more enlightened in the warehouse. Did a small fall make you more stupid? Perhaps a drink will help you connect your mind in order. I suppose someone like you drinks tea.” Out of nowhere, a steaming cup stood in front of him. She stops walking and sits in front of him like they're old friends. Dick swallows again feeling everything like a crazy and strange dream. This is not what he expected. She looks at his chained hands and let out a giggle. “Oh, I forgot.” The chains disappear releasing his hands, but the chains around his chest and legs remain there. “Well, aren't you going to start screaming? To ask me for answers? I hope I didn't break you so quickly. That would be pathetic.” She says taking her cup and taking a sip. Dick can only stay there, trying to get out of his trance.

“What is all this?” Dick manages to ask after minutes of silence. He can feel the sweat go down his temple, his body feels hot and at the same time he can't help but shiver at the temperature of the place, everything feels cold.

“Isn't it obvious, beloved? We’re having tea.” 

“I mean— what are you doing here? What do you want of me?” So many questions he would like to ask, so many things he wishes he could say, but his tongue feels numb.

“Finally, something interesting.” She mutters. Her skin looks pale and greenish. “Well, I thought it would be obvious by now what I want. Wasn't I clear enough? I left you many signs, beloved. I always had made it clear what I want from you.”

“And why did you take all this time?” Dick asks feeling his stomach ache, he wants to puke, and his head is killing him. At last, he feels a little more confident that his voice is not going to break now. “Why do all this? What do you want of me!?”

“I finally see some of that fire that grab my attention, Pretty Bird.” She blurts out the words coldly and Dick closes his eyes, feeling his chest ache too, the air not wanting to pass through his lungs. That nickname makes him tremble again significantly.

“Please, s-stop it,” Dick says between gasping breaths. He tries to move but he feels the chains squeeze him harder holding him in place.

“Everything has a specific order. Things went perfectly according to the plan. I could not rush anything, or get to you sooner than planned. This that you are seeing is the conclusion of a plan so much bigger than you.”

“Why me?”

“Well, I did not make that decision. I am just directing this game, and curiously I did not choose you. The _monsieur_ did it. I still don't know why to choose a boring human like you, but I suppose he saw something in you that even I cannot identify yet.” 

“Monsieur? You work for someone?” Dick tries to make sense of what's going on. She makes a disapproval noise. 

“I work _with_ someone. Are you stupid enough to believe that someone like me would work _for_ someone?” 

“I don't understand,” Dick begins to say, the words coming out unable to stop them now. “First you try to hunt me, you threaten me, you fill my nights with nightmares. And then you catch me and tell me that someone else is involved. That doesn’t make sense, just tell me what you want from me! What is all this shit about?” 

“You just need to understand your place right now. You don’t have a voice here; you’re no more than a simple doll ready to be delivered to your creator. If it were up to me, this would be over. It would be funnier and bloodier, but the monsieur is the one making the decisions for _now_. He is benevolent when he wants to be. For now, he doesn't want to break his little toy anymore.” 

“Get this over with,” Dick says raising his voice and looking at her desperately. “I'm tired! I can't keep listening to you talking to me like I'm just a fucking doll. I'm not! What do you want of me!? Just do what you have to do, but do it. NOW!”

“Let me see them.” She says instead, her tone calm as if she hadn't heard what Dick said. As if they weren't talking about his life and that he no longer has control over what's going to happen. 

“What?” Her response baffles him for a moment, she stands up and Dick immediately stiffens.

“Show me the wings.” She orders. “My, my, are you deaf? I do not have your useless time.”

“I can’t.” Dick gestures to his chained chest. Out of nowhere, the chains disappear and he jumps as he feels new chains holding his lower body tightly against the chair. Now that half of his body is free, she gestures again, hastening him. Dick gulps and for some reason begins to remove his hoodie as if a force is forcing his hands. Dick tries not to panic again. 

“I suppose the molt is finishing up and the feathers are now changing color, perhaps a golden one? You are beginning to feel more weight on your wings, I am wrong?” She says with that shit grin, looking at his actions with curiosity.

“How do you—?”

"I created you. Do not forget that.”

“You didn’t create me,” Dick says finishing taking off his shirt. With shaking hands, he takes off his vest and bandages under her still piercing gaze. “You just ruined my life.”

“Did I?” Dick feels numb. When he finishes he stretches his wings uncomfortably against the chair, there is not enough space for them to fully stretch. He feels almost naked in front of her. He doesn’t know why he is doing what she tells him, but he also knows that this moment his mind is overloaded, about to break down. “They look appealing.” She remarks looking closely at his wings. "They're looking exactly the way they should.” She gestures with her finger and the chair rotates slowly, Dick clenches his hands on the armrest. The chair stops and he feels anxiety when he cannot see her now, he’s turning his back to her as if he were fresh meat displayed in a tester, ready to be eaten. “I must admit that you are a remarkable specimen after all.” 

Dick lets out a cry of surprise when he feels her icy hands touch his back; she pushes his body forward bending him over and exposing his back. Dick closes his eyes and begins to tremble more strongly as he feels her sharp nails pass through his lower back and then touch the wings with methodical movements. She takes his right-wing and Dick contracts it, trying to push it away from her hands. He makes a strong movement with the wing hitting her in the face, the which growls bending him even more with a supernatural force. 

“It pleases me.” She says as she grabs his wing again and extends it, Dick stands still squeezing his eyes and asking for this to end. He feels exposed. “I am pleased with a little rebellion, with a revolt. But if you do something like that again, I'm going to break a bone.” She extends the wing as far as she can, touching and pulling. Dick lets out a groan of protest as he feels her manipulate both wings, stretching and checking them between her sharp hands. “They grew up remarkably good; they look like real bird wings.” 

“Stop— touching them,” Dick says defeated, wanting her to step away, to stop petting his wings. No stranger had touched his wings before, the contact feels wrong. She chuckles again and bends the wing, setting it in place. 

“Do you know how many bones are in your wings? _I do_. I know how to break every bone. I know the sound they make when they snap. I know the time it takes for them to set. And I know how much it _hurts_. You are just a pawn. You don’t know anything about them, you just carry them. You belong to me, your wings belong to me. I created them.”

“I don’t belong to you!” Dick growls moving his wing away, but she grabs the wing again but with more force. Dick tries not to cry.

“I would have cherished to be there that night. See the bones beneath your skin rattle and crack before the wings emerged, hear your sweet voice screaming.” She says running a finger close to his face, Dick whimpers again at the closeness of her. She runs her finger over his face. “You smell _so sweet_ right know Pretty Bird. All that distress, all that dread. I can almost taste it in my mouth.” She passes her tongue over his cheek and Dick whines.

But at last, she walks away and Dick lets out several quick breaths, trying to get the air to stop burning his lungs. Dick flaps his wings slowly, almost fearfully, and leans back as far as he can in the chair, watching as she leans against the wall in front of him, looking at him with that cold glare like he’s an experiment and she’s learning from her mistakes.

“Why did you give me these wings? Was it even your idea? Why want to ruin my life?” Dick says looking up and looking into her eyes. Eyes that look too dark now. Of course, he’s fond of his wings, but he doesn’t want her to know. 

“Tell me,” she asks, ignoring his words. “Is it my power that frights you? Or the fact that your problems are not my doing at all?” she lets go looking at him closely. "It's always easier to blame someone, isn’t? I just gave you those wings, Dick Grayson. You have ruined the rest of your life with your pathetic weakness and pathetic vision. I gave you a gift, a gift that no one else could bear. Everything else that has happened to you has simply been your doing.” 

“But all this is your work, give me these wings, play with my mind for months, threaten my family. That's you, or whoever you work for. I have nothing to do with this. You are the reason all those innocent people are dead, you are a murderer! You are the fucking problem! Don't you—“

“I didn't kill those people.” She cuts him off right away.

“Of course you did! You left a message for me. Why!?” Dick yells trying to find those answers he wanted for so long. 

“I did not do it. You did it.” She simply answers. Dick gives a desperate laugh. 

“Me? How could I have done that?”

“I did it for _you_. All that blood stains your hands. It's your fault that they all died. I sent you the warnings, the dreams. I gave you everything you needed to come to me. But you did not. It's your fault, Pretty Bird. You killed them. Like I told you, it's always easier to blame someone, isn't it?” Dick looks away trying not to shed any more tears, but he no longer cares at all about breaking in front of her. _It's too much._

“Just take me. Do what you have to do.” He says defeated.

“No.” She answers, Dick opens his eyes looking at her without understanding.

“What?”

“I did not come to this disgusting city and this ridiculous place to take you. Not tonight. Things are not as you think, Dick Grayson. You still haven't understood anything.” Dick blinks in confusion, having no strength to say anything else. Dick is sick of these games, the meaningless words, this damn wait.

“Just take me with whoever your damn Master is or whatever. I'm fucking tired.” Dick immediately opens his eyes upon hearing a growl, it sounds like of a beast. The sorceress's eyes glow green, like flames burning in her gaze. She takes a few steps toward him, the atmosphere changing and becoming icy. Dick lets out a breath watching the mist leave his mouth.

“I have no owner. Nobody controls me. How dare you spit out such lies? You have no idea _who_ I am, _what_ I am. Do you think someone can control me?” she growls each word with little restrained anger.

“From what you said, yeah. He pulls your strings and you are his puppet. You are not free. You just follow orders, you are someone else's slave.” Dick doesn't know where those words come from, but he manages to say them. The satisfaction of seeing her face change is short-lived when he feels an invisible force pulling his neck towards her, Dick makes a muffled noise and brings his hands to his neck feeling new chains squeeze him hard. Dick starts making noises trying to breathe, but the force is too much. Dick begins to see black dots appear in his vision and begins to lose consciousness when she suddenly releases him. Dick begins to cough heavily, trying not to pass out from the strain of his still sore ribs.

“Go ahead, underestimate me. That will be fun.” She simply says, calm returning to her face. Dick manages to breathe better and falls back into the chair, feeling the force go from his body. “I wish I could kill you right now, unfortunately, I am not allowed to. I will not fall for the provocation of your unsubstantiated words. I am much better than you in all aspects. However, as you say, let’s get this over. I have a deal for you.” Dick feels too far gone to be able to answer, if only to understand what she’s saying. Out of nowhere, she sits across from him, putting that mocking smile back. “In exactly thirty days I will come for you, no struggle, nor that useless resistance like the one you just showed me. I will give you thirty days so that you can say goodbye to your closest people, call it an act of mercy that the Monsieur wants to offer you. In those thirty days, I will not bother you, you can do what you want. But when those thirty days are over, you will go with me. Or, you can choose the other way, my way of doing things and finish this once and for all. You decide, Pretty Bird.” Dick stares at her, unable to answer something. He can feel something cold running through his veins, Dick doesn’t know how long it takes to find his voice. He clears his throat several times trying not to growl with the effort.

“Are you giving me a decision?”

“Clearly not,” she blurts out rather bored from the conversation. “I win anyway. It is not a decision, it is simply a choice. Do it the good way or the bad way. There is nothing you can do to change your destiny. Not even the great Batman can save you. I only gave you the choice to accept my mercy and be able to spend your last month with your family. Or, finish everything now.”

“And if I do that, you won't you hurt anyone else?” Dick asks slowly.

“If you comply with your deal, I will do it with mine.”

“And how will I know if you will keep your word?”

"You do not know." She says running her tongue through those sharp teeth again. “And that's the best thing about all of this. Amusing, isn’t?”

“I need a guarantee. I need to know that if I do what you want, you will leave my family alone and… that you will stop killing innocent people.”

“Look at him; Nightwing speaking, the hero, the one who sacrifices himself for everyone.” She says with a grin. “If you do your part, I will do mine. You have my word.” She says resigned.

“I need more than your word. I don’t trust you, you are a sorceress, a being of chaos, you have no principles.”

“You have no idea what I am. And in that you are wrong, I have principles, and my word is of vital importance. How could it not be? I'm from the old school. A deal is a deal.”

“I need a real guarantee.” Dick insists again, she growls in despair but extends her hand, a steel blue dagger appears out of nowhere, it has opals and a velvet-covered grip, is extravagant and elegant. She holds it in her hand and then slowly floats up to him, Dick stares at the dagger for several seconds. “Uh?”

“Let's make a well-done deal, beloved.” She says looking at him closely. Dick understands what she means. 

For a moment, everything disappears, Dick finally manages to focus his mind from the desire to pass out and think seriously for a moment. He would be making a deal with the _devil_. He knows is dangerous, he knows he’s probably making a mistake. But just remembering his nightmares, just remembering the pain of thinking about what could happen to his family makes him take the dagger. He doesn’t have a choice anymore. He holds the dagger in his hand for several seconds, struggling with himself. Then he runs the edge of the knife over his palm, groaning when he feels the blood run out from his palm.

_Knowing that he just sealed his fate. _

She claps her hands and Dick jumps up, looking up from his bloody palm at her. The dagger disappears from his hand and appears in hers.

“Astonishing, I didn't think you had the bravery, Pretty Bird.” Without taking her eyes off him, she makes the same movement with the dagger running it across her palm. Dick surprises himself seeing the wound, waiting for the blood to change color, but no, it is red, just like his. Out of nowhere, the sorceress's chair ends up right in front of him, very close. Enough so that he can feel her cold breath on his cheek. “I, make a deal not to kill anyone else in exchange for you, Dick Grayson, in exactly thirty days to give yourself to me voluntarily. But if you don't keep your word, or if you tell someone about it, without any problem, I will ruthlessly kill every single person who gets in my way, starting with your dear family.” Dick gulps at having her in front of him, the owner of his nightmares, who has just offered him a deadly deal. Dick raises his head and holds his bloody hand.

“I— Dick Grayson. I accept the deal and will keep my word, as long as you promise not to touch my family or any other person.” She aggressively holds his hand, joining their palms and the blood from both hands mixing. Dick closes his eyes at the contact, feels his skin froze with the contact of her rough palm. She lets him go abruptly, walking away to the other side of the table. Dick slides into the chair, exhausted. He holds his palm closed tightly, trying not to break right there.

“Well, there is your blood pact. Now there is no going back beloved. Officially you are all _mine_.” Dick has no strength to deny or say anything to her, he just closes his eyes and squeezes his hand feeling he is about to lose consciousness. “Goodbye, Pretty Bird.”

In a moment, the darkness surrounds him again and Dick feels like he’s going to throw up, everything happens in seconds and then Dick jumps when his body collides with something. His eyes snap open and then he feels something comfortable under his body. He blinks against the darkness several times and realizes that he’s in his room in the manor. As if everything had been just one bad dream. Dick feels uncertain for a moment. _It was all real?_ _Or it was just an invention of his mind?_ Dick slowly sits down and looks at the window, it's wide open. 

Dick gets up on shaky legs and slams it shut. He goes back to his bed and lets himself slump to the mattress. His mind is blank, there’s nothing, he doesn't remember why he felt so angry, why he felt so scared. He closes his eyes hugging himself with his wings and falls asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't kill me! omg, I felt so much emotion writing this chapter, I hope you can feel it too. 
> 
> questions? something wasn't clear? some things will be clearer in the next chapters. Soon you will know everything. Love yo all, thanks for reading <3


	27. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason POV.

Jason feels... _guilty._

He's been hovering outside Dick's room for a long time. Too coward to actually knock the door, too scared to explain how he feels and ask for forgiveness, _again_. But Dick had asked for space, he has to give him that. Jason feels like a fucking idiot just standing there behind the door. He can hear Goldie moving around, he definitely hears the water running. And then, _silence_. So he sits near the door, trying to calm himself. He’s so wrapped inside his mind that he doesn’t hear the footsteps getting closer until he feels the intense stare and when he looks up he sees Damian glaring at him with pity, Jason stands up feeling hot rage because of that glance.

“What do you want brat?” Jason demands crossing his arms, Damian pays no mind to him.

“I want to speak with Grayson.”

“Good luck with that, he told me he needs space, gremlin.” Jason answers and Damian ignores him. But then he glares at him again, so Jason lets out a growl but walks away.

_He needs a fucking drink._

Once he finds some fine liquor, he puts it inside of a Thermo trying to dissimulate. He’s really trying to give Dick space, but it is so hard. _What if Dick jumps out of the window? What if he’s already out? _He runs to Dick’s room again and Damian is not there, so he puts his ear close to the door. He can recognize the noise of footsteps walking around, he lets out a long breath, and just to be sure, he heads straight to the cave where he can check the perimeter fence security. He’s a bit shocked when he doesn’t see Bruce there, so he quickly stars working. Nothing is out of the ordinary; there isn’t a single break in the system. Dick is fine. _He will be fine. _

So Jason walks around, trying to spend his time doing something rather than just keep waiting outside the door like a fucking lost puppy. He doesn’t want to put on his helmet, not tonight; he doesn’t want to leave the manor. So he cleans his weapons, sharpens his knives, he surfs thought the batcomputer checking info that may get handy someday. When he’s over, and there’s nothing else he can do, he walks towards Dick’s room again, but in the way there he pauses when he sees the light of Bruce's office on. He knocks the door rather roughly and sees Bruce sitting there.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Bruce barely lifts his eyes from the papers scattered on the table. But he definitely shrugs at the rude tone.

“Work”

“You mean, Brucie Wayne work?” Jason comments lifting an eyebrow. Sometimes he forgets that Bruce also works, that he has a second life completely different from who he really is.

“Uhm,” Bruce hums looking again at the mess of papers. Jason is about to leave when Bruce speaks, his voice strained. “Have you spoken with Dick yet?”

“Barely. He asked me for space.” Jason says trying to sound nonchalant. But for the tense nod from Bruce, he isn’t credible enough. 

“It may take him some time. Dick is hurting, he feels betrayed. Maybe in a few days, he will talk to you again.”

“You’re not worried about that?”

“As long as he stays in his room, _where he’s safe_, no. I will speak with him when he wishes to, is his decision to make. He has every right to be mad.”

“_Huh_,” Jason says trying not to start another fight right now. “All right then, let’s hope he forget us at all.”

“He will forget you,” Bruce states looking away from his laptop. “Me, I’m not so sure yet. It may take more time.”

Jason nods knowing that’s true. So he walks out and he ends outside Dick’s room one more time. Jason can't sleep that night.

Just like Bruce had said, Dick takes his time. He doesn’t open the door for days. Jason is freaking out. He almost has an entire speech about the idiot he is, about how much he regrets lying to him. _Fuck!_ He's even seriously considering just throwing down the door and showing Dick how much he really regrets and how much he’s hurting having a door between them. _Inches apart… but so far away._

That’s until one afternoon Dick opens the door. He looks marvelous as always. There isn’t a single trace of tears or resentment in his pretty face. And that should have put him at maximum alert, but Jason was so relieved to see him that he had let that go. He had expected to hear screams, more tears, words that could have cut him like knives. He expected to be told to get the fuck out of there; he expected a lot of scenarios. But he hadn’t expected… _this._

It was like nothing was wrong, like if Dick had forgotten about the witch and the threats, about the people murdered. He just didn’t talk about anything near to that subject. He just kept with his routine, spending time with the brats. But Dick was a bit bipolar, some days he didn’t want to let Jason go, but some other days he just couldn’t stand him. Most of the days' everything was fine. Not at all what he had expected. Never in a million years. _Like, now._

Jason lets out a shaky breath, he feels… nice. Like all the problems in the world had disappeared just being in the arms of Dick, or rather say… the wings of Dick. He should be asking why he’s acting like this. But he doesn’t have the balls or the bravery to ask him. He just let himself be squeezed and be treated like a fucking teddy bear. Dick's wings are everywhere. His feathers so soft and warm, like a blanket that covers him from the cold world. Jason feels Dick squeeze him tighter and can't help the huge smile on his face. _Who can blame him?_

But then he must let out an exasperated sigh. _Fuck._

“Dickie?” Jason mutters softly, touching the hand that Dick is holding over his body. “Are you awake?”

“No,” Dick whispers tightening him even more, wrapping his wings around them again, Jason can't see anything but white and gold feathers.

“I need to pee,” Jason says defeated. He had wanted to go to the bathroom for a long time, but he would be a liar if he didn’t admit that he didn’t want to get up.

“Uhm.” Dick hums making a noise of protest but a few seconds later he begins to release him. First, he moves his huge wings away, and Jason feels a chill when he realizes the warmth that they had provided to his body. Then Dick untangles his limbs little by little until he’s finally free. Jason turns over his shoulder looking at Dick, who now is turned upside down and with his wings slumped all over the bed, taking up _too much_ space now.

“I won't take long.” Jason still mutters. Dick makes a noise that sounds like an ‘_okay_’ but he quickly falls asleep again.

Jason wastes no time and goes to the bathroom to relieve himself. Once he finished, he washes his hands and gets his face wet. _Damn_. _Who would have thought that the big bad Red Hood would end up being the little spoon? _

He feels a bit ashamed, but he knows that deep down he doesn't care. All his life he had tried to cover his feelings, compress them to the point where it seemed they didn’t exist in the first place. But that never meant that he had no feelings... _quite the contrary_. Jason knows that he’s a person who feels deeply but decides to pretend not to. He knows what has happened to many people who had allow themselves to feel, knows firsthand how they are a clear disadvantage. But, he’s also realizing that allowing himself to feel and admit it is fucking liberating. It is adrenaline that he never thought he would find this way. It is a whirlwind of emotions that often leaves him breathless, but at the same time makes him feel alive, free, strong, much stronger. He can finally feel _indestructible_ again. The realization of that makes him stop.

Maybe destiny is finally by his side. Maybe life will finally allow him to move forward and progress, stop backing down once and for all. Maybe, Dick, it's his way out after all.

Jason comes out of the bathroom and spends a moment admiring the view, admiring that incredible body collapsed on the bed, those huge wings that shine with the light entering from the windows, that face that leaves him frozen and speechless. _Damn_, he doesn't deserve him, but _hell_; Jason could do everything he can so he could wake up like this every morning.

“Jay?” Dick asks and slowly begins to move, spreading his wings with a yawn and then turning to look at him. “Are you going to stand there or do you plan to go back to bed?”

“Heck, you don't need to ask me twice.”

Yes, Jason knows that maybe there is something suspicious in all this; he knows that Dick couldn’t have forgiven him so easily, especially when Jason hasn’t even tried to say sorry again. But he also knows that Dick isn’t resentful like him. Maybe Goldie is tired of feeling that kind of emotion right now.

Still, as he hugs Dick and holds him tightly, Jason wonders if he's missing something, if this is just a fading moment of happiness and calm and it’s about to sneak out of his fingers like everything else that has been taken away from him in his life. With that in mind, Jason squeezes Dick even tighter, knowing that if there’s a conspiracy against him, he’s going to fight everything he has to not let him go. 

_____________

“Jason.” Dick's voice manages to get him out of his thoughts for a moment; Jason seeks his blue eyes and finds them already looking at him. “Little Wing.”

“Uh?”

“Are you with me?” Goldie asks biting his lip, Jason quickly turns his body away from his view of the window.

“Yeah, why?”

“Jay, you've been looking at the window for hours. Did I miss something else?”

“No. I'm just making sure everything is fine.”

“Jason, you've been paranoid for days, looking out the window like if she will suddenly appear, relax. Everything is fine.”

“How are you so sure about that Goldie?” Jason steps away from the window and walks toward him, raising his eyebrow. “Just because you aren’t having nightmares and no one has turned up dead that doesn’t mean everything’s fine. _Fuck_, it must be a fucking game and she's waiting to attack when we're—”

“Jason. Enough.” Goldie says clenching his fists. He looks like he's trying to control himself. “That won't happen, I’m sure.” That should have been a red light, but Jason wasn’t hearing what really mattered.

“How can you be sure of that, _huh?_ Dickie, we can't let our guard down now. Not just because all is fine for now that means it will last.”

“I know. And I'm not letting my guard down... I'm just enjoying the moment. I'm tired of waiting for something to happen. Zatanna said this is the safest place, isn't it? It means we can relax a bit.” Jason lets out a weary sigh and sits next to Dick, knowing that maybe it's true. But Jason doesn’t feel relaxed, just the opposite. _How can he relax knowing that there is something out there trying to take away the most precious thing in his life? _It is simply impossible. But still, Jason nods defeated. Maybe Dick is right, maybe, for now, he’s safe.

“I want to do yoga for a while, are you coming?” Jason quickly raises his eyebrow. Ok, that has his full attention now.

“Why not?” Jason sounds casual, but inside he can't help but make a triumphant noise. Watching Dick doing yoga or training is another matter. And with his wings. _Fucking hell._

Goldie gets up after putting on tight sweatpants so he can exercise. Jason follows him down the hallways, unable to think of anything else having such a sight before his eyes. Dick's wings finally finished their molt and _now, fuck_... There is no way to describe the beauty of the wings. They grew too large, almost twice their size before. Their colors are a mix of white and gold. It is almost impossible to look at them and not wander about their magic. They are really beautiful. But now Dick has more trouble hiding them because as they are bigger they now take up _more _space. Which means sitting, sleeping, showering or getting dressed now is a bit more complicated. Dick prefers to be shirtless most of the time, he finds it more comfortable. Like now.

“Dickie, watch out,” Jason mumbles catching a porcelain decoration in time before it crashed to pieces.

“Oops,” Dick says arranging his wings behind his back, trying not to spread them as far back.

“It would almost be the twelfth time that you throw something with your wings,” Jason says adjusting the ridiculous decoration and slapping Dicks back. “Alfred is not happy at all.”

“Poof, I know,” Dick says moving forward and gesturing with his hands. “I can't help it— I wasn’t ready for the wings to grow this big.”

Both arrive at the gym and Dick wastes no time in going to the center of the room and getting on a mat, starting to stretch. Jason sits down on the floor in front of him, trying to hide his complete attention on Goldie. But again, _who can blame him?_ This is something completely unbelievable.

Dick stretches his arms doing one of those yoga poses that Jason could never remember and he also stretches his wings. Then he makes a strange movement towards the mat trying to make an arch, but with the size of its wings, it is quite difficult. So Dick chooses to stay like this leaning his wings against the mat while they hold his full weight as if they were his hands. Then he gets up again and continues doing his rare poses. It is when Jason hears more footsteps that he must hide the irritation he feels from having more company.

“Richard. Good morning,” Damian advances with his typical pose of superiority and ends up next to Goldie, who gives him a smile from ear to ear. “I do not know why you decided not to inform me that you would come here to exercise but now I’m here.”

“Sorry kiddo, I just stared. Besides, you know I'm here all the time.” Goldie murmurs while hugging Damian tightly, circling his body and almost completely covering him with his wings. “If you have nothing else to do we can spar together. Sounds good?” Damian pulls away slowly trying not to blush.

“Tt. Sounds okay. It's good to have you here again, Grayson.”

"I know Dami." They both warm-up together and start sparring only as they understand each other. Jason looks up when he senses someone's presence and then he feels Tim sit next to him.

“Hey Jason,” Tim says taking a drink from his bottle. He looks sweaty, he's also been exercising.

“Timbo,” Jason comments with a nod. He’s been playing with his knife for a long time.

“How's Dick?” Tim asks after a few minutes of silence.

“As well as he could be. I mean— it’s strange, he’s fine, not as I thought he will be.”

“I know.” Tim lets out a long breath. “It confuses me sometimes. I had expected many things when Bruce told him everything, but I didn’t expect anything like this. Dick just looks... okay. And that doesn't make sense.”

“Yeah, I know. There’s something weird. I want to believe that he's really dealing with everything in the right way, but hey, we're not the best example of dealing with things that way. Were all fuck-ups.”

“And also, everything is quiet outside. There’s nothing out of the ordinary, it is as if things had just calmed down. I have a bad feeling.” 

“As long as Dick is here, I guess everything will be fine,” Jason says trying to believe it.

“Have you spoken to him?” Tim asks looking at him closely, analyzing his reaction.

“About what?”

“About everything. Have you talked about what happened? What do you feel? What he feels?”

“Jesus, who the fuck do you think I'm? A fucking psychologist? Clearly I am the worst example to speak about those shits.”

“That’s not true,” Tim says raising his eyebrow. “He trusts you. Remember what happened in the first months after the wings? Dick pretended that everything was fine and then... he ran away. You're the only person Dick really trusts to talk about stuff like that. You know he won't come to me or Damian. He doesn't want us to keep worrying about him.”

“Huh, I guess you're right,” Jason says, letting out a laugh without grace. “But I'm still me, Timbo. I suck when it comes to talking about those things.”

“You are afraid,” Tim says and Jason lifts his knife reflexively. Tim raises his hands in a serious gesture. “It's true. You are afraid to talk with him about it and that maybe Dick will walk away again. You are afraid that Dick will isolate himself like the first days and that he could act like a normal person after being lied to will do. Jason, you know this reaction isn’t normal, there is something wrong. Dick needs to express his feelings, not bottle them as usual. It's not healthy. He can explode.”

“Of course I'm not afraid,” Jason says putting down his knife and looking away. He’s actually terrified. Admitting to himself is one thing, but admitting to somebody is still so hard. Still, he should have listened better.

“You are being selfish,” Tim says and Jason raises his eyebrow with an evil smile.

“Selfish?”

“You don't want to bring that up with Dick because you're afraid he'll stop paying attention to you and run away again. You don't have the courage to tell him you're sorry. You're being selfish Jason.” Jason doesn't control his emotions and punches Tim, not as hard as he could, just as a warning. They both stand up, Tim stepping away from him. Jason growls.

“Don't talk about shit you don't know, Replacement.”

“Hey, hey. What's going on? Jay, why did you hit Timmy?” Goldie asks right away, Jason feels a hand on his shoulder and tries not to turn it off, but he knows that Dick is trying to calm him down. Jason breathes and pushes the anger out of his mind. Tim makes a noise of exasperation and Dick immediately approaches him, touching his cheek slowly. “You're okay?”

“I'm fine,” Tim responds throwing one last disappointed look at Jason and then focusing his gaze on Dick. “I'll take a shower.” Dick nods touching his shoulder and giving a slight squeeze. Tim disappears from there and Jason tries not to feel guilty again. And worse knowing that the idiot is right. He’s afraid. Despite everything, he’s still afraid. Despite the feeling of invincibility, he’s still that coward.

“Jay.” Dick's voice makes him look at him, he couldn't ignore him even if he wanted to, not when Dick looks him with those big blue eyes full of affection. 

“I need air.”

Jason walks out of there without allowing himself to look back, he needs to calm down and not say something hurtful. He walks through the manor feeling it like a maze of halls and ghosts, he doesn’t know how much time he spends just walking. But then his nose picks up a familiar scent and he slowly walks to the kitchen. Alfred is, as always, preparing something delicious, when he goes in, the older man pats him on the shoulder, like if he knew Jason needs to chat with someone right now.

“Master Jason, is everything in order?” Alfred gestured for him to sit on one of the kitchen benches, Jason does so watching the butler spice whatever he has in the saucepan. It smells appetizing.

“Yeah, it's just that— _uhg_.” Jason groans with a sigh. Tim's words keep repeating themselves in his mind. It is true, every word.

“Problems with your siblings?” Alfred raises his eyebrow, refocusing his attention on his task.

"It was something he said.” Jason starts to say, talking about things is something he's trying, it feels good. He knows that Alfred always listens to him; he’s the true genius in the family. “Tim said something that is true. But I didn't like hearing it.”

“Hum.” Alfred hums bringing a cup of tea to him, Jason looks at it perplexed not having noticed it before, but he still takes it in his hands. “Most often, the things we need to hear are the hardest things to listen to. It is difficult to accept certain things, but the more you try to deny it, the harder the blow will be. Perhaps it's good to hear a different opinion from time to time, it gives you another perspective. But listen well Master Jason; one must always follow his heart.” Alfred finishes saying with a small smile and sitting next to him for a moment. Jason lets out another sigh and nods.

“I know. Tim is right. But that doesn't make it any easier.”

“If it were easy, everyone would do it,” Alfred says wiping his hands on a kitchen cloth. Jason laughs and takes a sip of the tea. _Limon tea._

“You are a true genius, Alfred.”

“I'm just old Master Jason, I've lived through all of that.”

“How— do you take courage and do something that frightens you?” Jason confesses nervously. This feels like a first step, like he just launched into war with a simple kitchen knife. But Alfred doesn’t laugh, he doesn’t mock that the great Red Hood is afraid. He just looks him in the eye.

“Listen carefully, young sir. There are things in life that only happen once, we cannot go back in time, nor can we take a pill that gives us courage. Sometimes you just have to jump in and wait for the hit; sometimes there is no time to think about it, you just have to do it. You became an adult long before you were at the right age. You've been through a lot of things Master Jason, things that could have been prevented. Perhaps you were given a second chance so you could get up and do a greater good. Either way, thank heaven you're here, it's been a tough and lonely road, but you don't know how happy I am to have you here again my boy.” Alfred says and Jason looks away, feeling that emotion return, that nostalgia, but above all, _melancholy_. “The point is that in this life we cannot afford to wait, you must say what you feel and do what you must before it is too late. The grave is full of regrets. Don't let that happen to you, Master Jason.”

“Wow, did you have all that prepared?” Jason smiles taking a sip of his tea, Alfred smiles at him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Of course, you don't know how long I waited to offer you a piece of advice like this Master Jason. That will always be _my_ regret.” Alfred gives him a sad smile and Jason gulps. Alfred gets up and begins to stir the contents with a soup spoon. Jason finishes his tea and stands up, placing his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie.

“Thanks, Alfie, that... that helped me a lot.” Jason admits. The elder one looks him in the eye again.

“Don't waste time Master Jason, tell_ him_.”

Jason stands still, watching Alfred in surprise. Sure, of course, Alfred knows, he knows everything! Jason wants to ask if he’s so obvious, but he also knows the answer to that, so he just nods, disappearing from there. Jason returns to the gym feeling the adrenaline. He knows he must do it, he must tell him he’s sorry, tell him what he feels. Maybe Dick is not mentally well right now, maybe he’s bottling his feelings and he can explode at any moment, but Jason can no longer bear this weight. Maybe Jason can help him get through this, get better. _Like Dick did with him so long ago. _

When he enters the gym about to say his name, he sees Goldie and the Demon lying on the mats, both look exhausted and sweaty, but with a funny smile, Jason is about to interrupt but hears Dick's voice speak with so much happiness so he prefers to stay there, just listening.

“Hey, that was the best spar we've ever had.” Dick lets out a sore laugh, and from his place, Jason is sure that the brat is also smiling, something that Jason has never seen in person. “I’m hurting in places I didn’t know could hurt.”

“Of course, anything we do together is the best. And of course, that is because you are stupid.” Damian responds immediately.

“Hey! Well, you’re right. Without a doubt, kiddo,” Dick says and Jason sees him sit letting out a grimace, Damian notices too.

“But you are not really hurt, are you?”

“No Dami, just a little sore, but I guess it's normal after hours of sparring.” Dick gives another laugh and Damian nods with that little smile again, he looks like a totally different person, like a damn child. Jason stares as Damian gestures with his head and Dick slowly extends his hand, Damian takes it carefully and begins to remove the bandages from his fists.

“I missed this,” Damian admits after a few minutes of silence. Jason knows he should go, is none of his business, is not his place to stay and hear, but seeing Damian that way, so honest and open leaves him nailed to the floor. “I missed being just you and me, with no one else. As in previous years in the Penthouse.”

“I know Dami, I miss it too.” Dick replies with a nostalgic smile “It was a very good time. But now that we are all together everything is good too. Don't you think?” The gremlin gestures with his shoulders and finishes with the bandages.

“I guess so.”

“I know that you may not yet be completely used to having a full house, but remember that everything is better with your family. It is the only thing we have.” Goldie says with a warm look and soft voice, Jason knows the weight that can be taken away just for that sweet look. “Everything will be fine, okay?”

“I know.” Damian answers and surprisingly he begins the physical contact, hugging Dick tightly. Jason's jaw drops, that's not Damian at all. Not the brat he knows. “Everything will be fine Richard, we will stop her and everything will go back to the way it was before.” Jason barely hears that.

“I am proud of you Damian, of what you have become. You may not see it yet, but you are becoming a great man, a fair, honest, and a good person. The world is a better place having you here.”

“Grayson,” The gremlin mutters and Jason knows he must he like a tomato, he can imagine his face. “Why do you say such things? You're okay?”

“They are the truth, Little D. Is so important to say them; I want you to always keep that in mind. Always.”

“Thank you,” Damian says after several minutes of silence, he slowly moves away but doesn't completely separate from Goldie, he stands shoulder to shoulder with him. “Your words mean a lot to me.”

Jason prefers to turn around and not listen anymore, this is a moment that he shouldn’t have heard, but it gives him more perspective. Knowing that Dick hasn’t only helped him, but even a spoiled and egocentric boy like Damian. Seeing him so docile and acting like a child is something that always leaves Jason feeling strange. It is a facet that only Dick can see. Dick is something like the glue that holds them together, that keeps this family so fucked up floating, somehow they work because of him.

So Jason gets down to business and decides to plan something for Goldie, something he can enjoy, so he can relax for a moment and not worry about whether or not there's a fucking which out there. For now, he’s safe. Jason is willing to do anything to keep it that way. 

Once he's done fixing everything, he picks things up and orders the little spontaneous picnic-dinner. They cannot go out, but being on the open balcony and being able to observe the view outdoors, it can help a little. So Jason accommodates everything, being the perfectionist that he is, and noting how thoughtful he can be, _Fuck_. Jason wants to stop but he doesn't, he isn’t allowed to back up now. Once everything is ready, he takes a shower and gets dressed, he starts looking for Dick and finds the blue-eyed hanging around in the library, (an unusual place to find him, honestly) Dick notices him and leaves the book quickly, smiling at him. He looks freshly bathed and he has comfortable clothes.

“Hey Jay, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I'm sorry about all that. The Replacement just got me out of my mind.”

“It is not with me that you should apologize.” Dick reminds him, Jason nods in defeat.

“Yeah, yeah. I'll talk to Tim.” Jason says awkwardly. Then he puts his hands behind his back. _Fuck, this is not easy_. “_Huh_, do you have something to do now?”

“Uhm, no. I am free. Why?” Jason gestured for him to follow him, Dick raises his eyebrow but says nothing, just following him. They begin to go up to the upper floor and to the several extra rooms, passing through where the ballroom is. Once they arrive, Jason opens the door.

“Why are we going here, Jay?”

“Come on, we're almost there.”

Dick laughs but continues following him, and then Jason opens the door to the open balcony and makes a reverence to Goldie. Jason comes in first and steps aside, letting Dick walk inside still giggling.

Maybe it's not so elegant or luxurious, but it looks good. Jason placed a typical picnic tablecloth on the floor, as well as several cushions and a blanket. In the center (with Alfred's help, of course) there is a basket with the typical food that is eaten at a picnic, and there’s a radio playing that pop music that Dick adores so much. The view is good, the sky is clear and although there are clouds starting to appear, it is still a great view. Dick is stunned watching everything and Jason can't help but feel the nerves again. _Maybe it was too much?_ _Is he being very daring? Hell, maybe he doesn’t want any of this right now. _

But then Dick turns to see him with that cute little face, looking at him with amazement and gratitude.

“Jay, did you do all this for me?” Jason can't answer, so he nods casually as if it weren’t much. “Thank you— I loved it.”

“Come on, let's devour all this.”

They both sit down and Jason ends up explaining everything he brought, Dick listens attentively with that cute smile and in the end, the nerves disappear, everything goes to hell and Jason allows himself to enjoy the moment, live it as if the world were going to end. Dick grins when he sees the bottle of wine, and then they eat, drink, laugh, discuss old cases, eat again, and drink again: As if they were the only people in the world. Jason stares at Dick with attention while the Birdie explains about his wings growing. 

“—I mean, I didn't think they would grow like this. It's like when your hair grows overnight, you don't feel it growing, obviously. But you can notice how little by little it begins to grow. You understand?”

“Yeah, I think,” Jason says spinning the gold feather in his fingers. Dick rolls his eyes.

“It's nothing from the other world. It just happened— and now I have to get used to them being much bigger.” 

“Maybe, after all you can finally fly,” Jason comments watching as Goldie smiles broadly.

“I haven't really considered it… but now it doesn’t seem crazy. Well, not so crazy. Sometimes everything still seems unreal.”

“What do you mean?” Jason says as he looks up at the sky. It is already dark. _What time is it? How is it that time moves so fast and at the same time so slowly?_

“There are times when I still wake up and feel that everything has been a strange dream. That I'm going to look back and not see feathers. And sometimes I wish it were true. But I also know that I am already used to them, to feel them on my back, to move them naturally as if they were other hands.” Dick says and moves his wings, placing them at his sides. “I've already become used to drying them, cleaning them. So many things. If I could go back in time, I don't know if I would change things.”

“Well, since we cannot go back in time, we can only accept what we have. And besides, they aren't that bad after all.” Jason comments and Dick laughs.

"They're not bad at all. They are… actually great.”

They both stay in silence for a moment. Jason looks at the basket searching for a refill of wine but stops when he sees candles. _Damn_, Alfred is not playing around. He doubts for a moment, he could definitely just turn on the lights, but that will kill the vibe. He sees around and he can’t see Dick’s face like he wishes to, so he brings his lighter and lights the candles. Goldie stops looking at the sky and stares at him with a shy smile. Jason puts the candles around trying to make it look nice. When he’s over, he looks at Dick.

“More wine, sir?” Goldie giggles and takes his glass.

“Yeah, of course,” Jason smiles and refills the glass, doing the same with his. They both take a sip. The silence is just interrupted by the sound of the radio sounding with low music. “Thanks for this Jay,” Goldie says smiling again. “I didn’t know how much I needed something like this.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Jason says. “You know, it’s like a date.” Dick chocks with his wine and he begins to cough, Jason instinctively gives a smack to his back. _Fuck, that wasn’t what he needed to say. _

“You okay?” Jason asks, Dick nods releasing a sore laugh.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to that, just— took me by surprise.”

“Too soon?” Jason asks shyly.

“No.” Dick looks at him with his big eyes and they say everything Jason wanted to know. “Just… I don’t know what to say.”

“Damn, the great Dick Grayson lost at words. I never thought I would see that moment.”

“Yeah I mean— isn’t our first date. If you count all the times we went to eat, to drink, I mean… they have been a few, right?”

“I hadn’t count them as dates… but yeah, you’re right.”

They both remain silent. _Fuck_. He needs to say it _now_. This is the moment, the perfect moment. But then, Dick grabs his hand and gives a strong squeeze. Jason looks at him and he feels speechless again. Then, Dick intertwines their fingers. And _yeah_, they have been sleeping in the same bed, they have been holding each other, but this… this feels more intimate. Jason lowers his gaze towards their hands and feels his heartbeat going crazy. He fears that maybe Dick can hear it too. Jason looks at him again, looking at him with real attention, all of him. His body, his heart, his soul. _He’s fucking in love with him._

“Dick— I need to tell you something.” Dick nods squeezing his hand tighter. “I…” Jason is interrupted when his motherfucker's phone starts buzzing. _Fuck_. Jason is about to throw the stupid thing away when he remembers that his number is just for emergencies. Jason doesn’t take his hand away from Dick’s. “Just give me a second.”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Dick says with a little smile. It looks nothing compared with his real smile. But then he pulls his warm hand away. Jason feels his chest tightening. 

Jason gets up and he takes the damn phone. He sees Roy number and he growls.

“What the fuck do you want asshole?” Ok, he sounds really pissed of.

“Jesus, good night to you too, motherfucker,” Roy says sounding pissed off too.

“Roy, just go to the fucking point. I’m in the middle of _something _important.”

“Man, I just got a call from my contact. The thing you were looking for, I know where it is.”

“Fuck. Are you sure?”

“I’m fucking sure! You spend months whining about that shit. You don’t know how hard was to found it. Now get your ass here.”

“Fuck, okay. I’m on my way.”

“Say hi to Dickie from…”

Jason hangs the call and closes his eyes. There’s nothing in this world that could have taken him away from Goldie, but now there’s something that maybe can protect him, something that maybe can be the difference between winning and losing. Jason isn’t going to miss a chance like that. If he has the opportunity to really protect Dick against her, Jason isn’t going to think it twice. _Even if it breaks his heart._

Jason goes to Dick and he blue-eyed is already standing, looking at the sky.

“Dick— I’m so sorry. There’s something I need to do.” Jason mutters feeling his heart aching. Dick nods and looks at him with a stiff smile.

“Don’t worry Jason. Do what you have to do.”

“Trust me… if I had had the chance I would never leave you like this. But this is important, please, understand me.”

“I do,” Dick mutters. “There’s no problem. Go.”

Jason turns away and leaves.

_Maybe after all the destiny isn’t by his side._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii... *hides under a rock* 
> 
> I'm so sorry, but everything has a reason... or maybe I like the pain. Yeah, is that. <3  
thanks for keep reading.


	28. Goodbye  1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick enjoys his last month with his family. 
> 
> (omg, I wrote so much that I needed to cut this chapter in two parts, sorry not sorry) <3

The days have been blending together like a high-speed video. Day and night no longer make sense. The things that used to matter, they just don’t matter anymore. It’s kind of absurd, the way things can change so fast, it only took the snap of her fingers and now nothing will be the same ever again.

Dick marks one more X on the calendar, or maybe it would be better to say one less? _Yeah, it feels like one less._ Dick feels... _fine_. That would be the correct word. He honestly does. Dick would like to feel bad or guilty, but somehow he can't. There is nothing to blame himself, he knows what he did, the deal he made... _an unbreakable one_. It really isn't something he regrets having done. There was no option, anyway. It was either that or simply surrendering to her that very night. The deal only meant delaying the inevitable, but at least now he knows what’s going to happen; he has time to savor every single day, he has time to say goodbye. 

Every day his back weighs more, his wings grew twice what they were. They look _beautiful_, the colors melding into each other gently. _White and gold_. Dick knows they are no such things as coincidences, he knows that the sorceress wanted it this way; she wanted _his_ wings to grow like _this_. The question is always the same, but there is no answer. ‘_Why?’_

This time there are no whispers, there are no shadows following him everywhere, there are no messages or threats. There is nothing. _Only his own damn mind._ Every day it feels like one less, like he's digging his own coffin with every moon that melts away. Dick cherishes all his days, there is no time to think, and he doesn’t waste time crying or mourning. He just wakes up every day ready to enjoy every moment, every hug, every word. Even the tiniest of things that he used not see are valued now. Everything counts. The clock is ticking and time is running out. 

“Grayson?” Damian's voice makes him stop looking at the calendar. His brother makes a small gesture of greeting; Dick can recognize that small smile peeking from his mouth. “Are you ready? Or have you chickened out?”

“Me? Chickening out?” Dick turns to him with an amusing smile. “I was born up there kiddo. I can do it with my eyes closed. What about you?” 

“I'm sure I can do it right if you teach me,” Damian admits.

“What are we waiting for?”

He had promised Damian a few months ago that he would teach him the basics of acrobatics. And well, now is a good time. Teach his little brother what he loves to do most in the world, what his parents taught him with so much fondness. Dick feels a little nostalgic as he explains some things to Damian and they both do stretches on the mats. Dick can't help but feel that heartache hitting him hard. See Damian so bright and happy, behaving like the boy he is hurting him more than ever. Dick doesn't know what will happen to his life, he doesn't know what the sorceress will do to him. Maybe he will never see his family again, maybe he will miss seeing Damian grow up. _That hurts, it hurts a lot._ But Dick repeats himself over and over that at least he will be safe, he will grow and become a good and exemplary person. Dick only hopes Damian can ever forgive him.

“Richard, do you need extra time? You are a little distracted.”

“Sorry Dami, I was thinking about something,” Dick admits shaking his head and brushing the unruly hair out of his face. Damian narrows his eyes.

“We will rest for 5 minutes,” Damian announces placing a towel around his neck. Dick smiles, nodding and sitting on the floor with his brother. They both spend a few minutes drying the sweat off their faces and drinking water. After a moment, Damian clears his throat. “Were you thinking about Todd?” Dick coughs a little because of the question and tries not to feel heartbroken again. Something must have shown in his expression because Damian growls. “I knew it. That loser is only good in hurting you. He is not worth being sad. Far less for such a fool like him.” 

“He’s not a loser Dami, and no, he hadn’t hurt me. We are—“

“Tt. Do you know anything about him? How long has he been gone?”

“Just two days,” Dick responds trying not to ruin his mood thinking about him again. “And no, I haven't heard much from him.”

“Typical of Todd. However, it seems strange to me that he has just left, after all, that insect never leaves your side. I should have known better than he would screw up things again.”

“Dami, it’s not like that. He said that it was something very important. I’m okay with that.”

“Something more important than you?” Damian hisses. Dick lets out a sigh trying not to take it seriously.

“Come on kiddo, I have so much to teach you yet.”

Damian drops the subject and gets up immediately. The afternoon turns out to be a wonderful moment, hours of practice, and laughter from both of them, but at least Damian learns a lot of new things. Dick can't remember the last time he laughed like that with Damian. Dick wishes he could relive that moment forever, the simple idea that it may be one of his last memories breaks his soul, but Dick has no time to feel this way, there is no time for anything gloomy.

_____________

Tim is another dilemma. The teenager has been a little distant, and Dick hasn’t tried to get close either, because maybe he and Bruce are the ones who can figure it out that something doesn’t fit. Tim knows something’s wrong, he knows that Dick is hiding something. Tim is so smart that even Dick fears he already knows everything. For that reason Dick prevents Tim from asking him questions, he avoids getting to that theme of conversation with him. 

“Dick,” Tim breaks the silence of meditation for the fifth time. Dick doesn't open his eyes, he just makes a noise that he's listening. “If there's something you can't tell us… at least try to tell Zatanna about it. I’m sure she can help you. ” Tim says out of the blue. Dick opens his eyes shocked peeking at Tim, expecting him to look at him with accusatory eyes, but Tim looks only serious, Dick lets out a sideways smile. 

“What are you talking about Timmy?” Dick replies closing his eyes again “Don't cheat, in meditation, we can't speak, only exist.”

“Wing, come on. Don't expect me to be like everyone else and play dumb. Something happens. And I thought we wouldn’t hide anything from each other again,” Tim sounds annoyed, Dick reaches out and squeezes Tim's shoulder, making him make a noise of surprise.

“I am not hiding anything,” Dick mutters. “Is there something wrong with the fact that for once in my life I am trying to forget everything and just spend time with the people I love? I'm tired Timmy, tired of being scared. I have to be strong. ”

“Bottling everything up?” Tim asks slowly, he sounds much less strained, he sounds softer.

“I'm trying not to, I'm focusing my attention on the things that do matter as you do. I'm sick of feeling helpless Timmy, there would be no use to cry or stay in my bed. Why waste time being mad with you guys? Yeah, I didn’t take it fine being lied to, but I get it now. I just need to be strong, for me and for you,” Tim is silent and Dick opens his eyes, he looks Tim in the eye and tries to transmit everything, he tries to give him a soothing smile. “Everything is ok Timmy, I assure you that,” Before Dick can say anything else, Tim lunges at him, hugging him tightly. Dick squeezes him back, feeling Tim shiver. “I promise you everything will be fine, trust me.” Tim nods and they both stay like that for a long time.

_____________

When 4 days pass by without hearing anything from Jason, Dick begins to worry. Dick had refused to think about that afternoon. _It was too painful_. But on the one hand, he was a little relieved by that interruption; he was so lost in the moment that he wouldn’t have had the courage to reject Jason. And it's not that he wanted to reject him, of course not. If things were different he would already have kissed him. But just thinking about Jason's reaction when the 30 days are done, it makes him sick. It would be so unfair of him to excite him and then disappear. It would break his heart, and Jason doesn't deserve that. _He deserves the whole world_, not someone who is about to leave, Jason deserves the truth. He doesn’t deserve a forced goodbye. Everything is so unfair. But his life has never been fair, _why should be now?_

Dick already has several drafts of a letter, since he knows he doesn’t have the courage to tell his family about the deal he made. Dick knows he would not stand the weight of those looks of disappointment and hatred, so he prefers to focus on writing down his reasons and being ready for when the moment comes. He doesn't think about Jason anymore, because thinking about him only makes things worse. There is no time for that, he has to be strong. He knows his family is going to hate him, but he prefers that to them being dead. He prefers the weight of his failure rather than having to live his nightmares. But it is so difficult to write something, _what could he say?_ _How could he explain what he did?_ It is so hard. Dick finishes writing a draft feeling extremely sad when he hears the door. Dick hides the letter and looks up, hoping its Jason, but instead is Bruce... another dilemma. 

Bruce, who has been giving him his space, talking about mundane things like the weather and other nonsenses, Bruce, who has been busy working all day and has been surprisingly in Wayne Enterprises most of the time. Dick wanted to talk to his mentor, let him know that he was no longer upset with him, he never really was. Now there is no time to distance themselves again, there’s no time for such absurdity... but Dick is somewhat afraid. After all, Bruce knows him like the back of his hand, Bruce only needs one look and with that, he would tell that something is wrong, just like Timmy. But with Tim, he was able to make everything clear by letting go of his fears, which made Tim leave a bit of his uncertainty behind and they could be somehow ok again. But with Bruce... _it's not that simple._ Luckily Dick knows how to mislead him. 

Bruce enters his room closing the door and Dick knows it is serious; Bruce always gives him his space after an argument, now he seems determined to talk.

“Dick, we need to talk.” Bruce indeed says sternly, Dick nods and gestures for him to sit down. Bruce does so and sits on the edge of the bed. Dick swallows hard trying to look unruffled. “I... I must apologize again—“

“Okay,” Dick answers before Bruce can say anything again. He doesn't want Bruce to continue blaming himself for those things, it's not worth it. “Yes, I was resentful knowing that things were hidden from me for so long, it pains me that after all this time I have to keep demanding the truth when that is something I shouldn’t ask for. But it would be unfair for me to keep being upset when I already forgive everyone else. I'm not upset anymore B,” Dick admits. “I understand why you did it, maybe I would have done the same.” 

“Dick... You don’t have to take the weight of everything on your shoulders. I am the father, I should have been brave and said the truth from the beginning. You shouldn’t be so quick to forgive me from my mistakes, what I did I wasn’t okay.” 

“It wasn’t, but I forgive you, Bruce,” Dick says trying not to break there, trying not to tell his father everything. Dick reminds himself that he must be strong, he must protect them. “I get it, I know you're trying—“

“Is not enough!” Bruce exclaims full of anger, but not anger at him, at himself. “Nothing I do seem to be enough, I can't stop her, and I can't protect my family like I'm supposed to do. If I had done things differently from the beginning perhaps this would never have happened.” 

“Bruce, none of this is your fault,” Dick is quick to say. “You are doing everything you can, and that is enough for _me_. There are things out of our hands and no matter what we do, maybe it is not our place to stop them at this moment. But I don't blame you, I never would. I can see how you are trying to do all you are capable of, how you keep searching her nonstop, you are not giving up, not now, not ever and that’s what matters to me. Everything will be fine.” Dick says looking at Bruce and trying to convince him. 

“I should be the one telling you that, not the other way around! You already have enough on your back. You don't have to worry about anything else, you hear me, Dick?”

“Yeah, I heard you B,” Dick says, Bruce nods and then he stares at him thoroughly, as Batman would do. Dick tries so hard to look okay, to not make evident the fucking mess he made.

“There’s something you need to tell me? Something that you have been keeping to yourself?” Bruce asks solemnly like he already knows the whole truth. Dick gazes at him puzzled. _Time to put out a show. _

“Why would I be hiding something?”

“Tim has been worried about the way you been acting. He said that it was odd that you’re acting like nothing is wrong. And indeed I agree. In the past, you wouldn’t have forgiven me so fast, not without an argument. The day I told you about the threats and the messages you were very shaken. But these last weeks, it’s like nothing happened at all. So I ask, what changed?” 

“Nothing’s wrong Bruce, yeah, I admit it, I’m very dramatic most of the time. But I’m tired, B. I’m tired of feeling lost and crushed. I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of crumbling again. Being mad with you is useless, what good it would do? Just tear us apart. I don’t want that. I want my family when I need it the most.” Dick releases distress in his voice. Bruce immediately responds to that tone nodding slowly, all that thoughtfulness leaving his face.

“Ok, I understand that— and you’re right. Just remember that you can come to me always chum. Don’t ever forget that you are not alone. I will keep doing my best until everything is truly okay. I have a plan. For now, I can't tell you more, but I want you to be sure that you will be fine.” Bruce says pretty certainly, Dick gulps.

“Bruce... what are you talking about? What plan?” Dick feels that anxiety again.

“I can't tell you now. Zatanna has been helping me with some things, we have tried to think of backup plans, in case something happens, but telling you could jeopardize everything. It is better if you not know for now, in case the sorceress tries to mess with your head.” 

“Okay,” Dick replies, he can't think of anything else to say. _‘Bruce, don't worry, I already offered my life in exchange for yours, you don't have to worry about me.’_ Dick would like to say, but he knows he can't. He would like to do so many things, but that will not be possible. “See? I have nothing to worry about, everything is fine. Right?” Dick says instead, smiling. Bruce nods and it is as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, he looks again as always. 

“Everything will be alright chum,” Bruce says slowly. Dick approaches and hugs Bruce tightly; trying to transmit everything he can't say to him. Bruce clumsily hugs him, but he does. Dick holds back his tears and just enjoys the moment.

“Thanks, Dad,” Dick whispers, knowing that those words always reach Bruce deeply. Bruce nods slowly and then comes apart, he gives him one of those honest little smiles and then gets up. 

“Hum, so I heard you were hosting a horror movie night,” Bruce says with a playful look. “Damian insisted that I couldn't turn down your offer. Can you tell me a little about that?”

“Sure, I was waiting for you to ask.”

Dick smiles and tells Bruce about it, both agreeing on which movies to watch. At the end, when the night comes everyone sits in the movie theater, with junk food and pizza, enjoying a movie night like Dick always hoped to have with his family. Dick forgets everything, simply living in the moment and enjoying his remaining time like never before.

_____________

Within a week of Jason's absence, Dick feels like he's hyperventilating. Jason had always been with him, offering one of his warm smiles and mocking comments. Not having him here is like having his anchor taken away, the one who reminded him why he was doing all this, the reason that kept him sane. But Dick doesn't have time to think about it, he can’t. The days go by and life doesn’t stop. Dick loses track of time, it seems like he lives in a bubble. Dick spends all his time with his family: training with Damian, talking about life, and making sleepovers. Meditating with Tim, discussing cases, having whole afternoons of fascinating conversations. Trying to learn how to make better pancakes with the help of Alfred. Talking with Bruce like he didn't do years ago, coexisting with him like when he was little and he was eager to go out on patrol with those bright colors. Dick doesn't have a single moment to think. He doesn’t think about the sorceress, he doesn’t think about the deal, he doesn’t think about the 30 days. It's like he’s high all the time, just living in the present. _Like now_, Dick stops laughing and looks at Tim and Damian trying not to chuckle, he sees Bruce shake his head and have to pretend to do something so he doesn't have to smile too, it's until Tim stands and takes some papers from the table that the mood changes. 

“Damn,” Tim says a little more seriously. Everyone is in the cave ‘arguing’ about new cases and listening —mostly Dick, anyway. He’s the one who hadn’t left the house— Bruce comment on the things that have happened in Gotham. Everyone has been patrolling normally, only one family member always stays with Dick as a precaution. 

"What's wrong Baby Bird?” Dick asks playing with one of his escrima sticks. _Oh man_, how much he misses being out there, kicking butts.

“Nothing ‘wing, I just forgot that by now it was supposed to be the charity gala of every year. You haven't said anything about that, Bruce.” Tim turns to see Bruce, who immediately puts on a more serious face. Dick had almost completely forgotten that. “The media are beginning to comment with their usual eagerness that you have been delaying the main event of the year.” 

“Have you been delaying it?” Dick asks quite interested. It is the only event to which Bruce gives his full attention, after all, it is a gala for charity. Bruce never loses attention to things like that.

“I have proposed the gala due to... all the events that have been presented this year,” Bruce comments making a discreet gesture to Dick's wings. “I don't think it is something that requires our primary attention. We can always cancel the gala and skip the entire show and simply make the corresponding donations. Or I just won't be the host like every year.”

“Bruce, you've never canceled a charity gala.” Tim insists, raising his eyebrow. “I agree with that, it is not the most important thing now. But I don't think everyone may take that decision well. After all, all the Gotham journalists are criticizing you on the front page.”

“Their opinions do not matter at all,” Damian answers quickly. “They are just viutres desperate to make out a few coins with their outrageous notes. What they think is not meaningful.” 

“No, it's not important but that gala it is, Damian.”

“Why not do it?” Dick casually says, moving his escrima stick with his hand. Everyone turns to see him. “I am not a genius like Tim or B about the company and everything— what I do know is that with the money raised, it always ends up helping many people. I don't doubt that you can raise the sum B, but that's what that silly gala is about, that the elite of Gotham at least pretend a little bit of humility and donate their money to people who need it. It is a good action.”

“And do it here?” Bruce asks, suddenly getting thoughtful. “I don't think it's a good idea.”

“Maybe do it somewhere else?” Tim asks.

“Yes, after all, it's a charity gala that Wayne Foundation organizes every year, it's also been held at the company. Most of the time has been performed here, but I could make something up about it.” 

“Just make up a story that your kids destroyed the event room with one of their crazy parties,” Dick says laughing. Tim nods.

“I'll think about that,” Bruce comments, thinking about a thousand of scenarios in his mind, _surely_. “I'm still having my doubts about doing it, but maybe doing it somewhere else can be good.” 

“Yeah, with that the media will be pleased and stop attacking the image of Brucie,” Tim says and Damian rolls his eyes.

“Tt. Who cares,” Damian remarks, Bruce ignores them both.

“I will talk to the other associates of the company,” Bruce says pulling out his phone and starting to send messages and arrange new meetings, Tim giving him ideas and organizing everything. Dick is glad that’s not his responsibility, Dick repudiates all that. It just never was his thing. “It can be organized later this month.” 

Dick feels like a tug that brings him back to reality. After all these days stopping looking at the calendar, Dick had lost time perspective. Slowly he leaves his escrima stick on the table and takes out his phone, checking the calendar. It is when he feels that anxiety coming again. Dick hopes that the dates don’t synchronize, _but..._ maybe it can be something good, it will mean that they will be away from the manor the moment he has to go, maybe it won’t be too painful. The next day, Dick is biting his nails, hoping to casually hear something about the charity gala. It is when he decides to wait for Bruce to arrive from the company and ask him directly. Bruce comes back a little later than usual, Dick tries to look cool and not like he's nervous. Slowly he knocks on the door to Bruce's office.

“Dick, what's going on? Is everything in order?” Bruce answers looking up and checking him out. He inspects at his wings, his face and when he sees that everything is in apparent order, he returns his sight to his PC with a tired sigh. 

“Oh yeah, everything is ok. I was just curious about the gala.” Dick nonchalantly comments, sitting on the sofa by the window.

“Hmm,” Bruce doesn’t say anything else, focusing his total attention on emails and documents.

“And I was wondering... what about it?” Dick insists again. Bruce ignores him for a moment while writing something, then he raises his eyebrow. 

“You? You are curious about something related to the company?” Bruce blurts out a bit incredulously.

“Well— I'm interested in the gala, you know I always like to pass by, have a drink and put on my most charming smile,” Dick says trying to sound normal, Bruce makes a noise again. “So? What about it?” Bruce gives a small growl but turns to see him. 

“Yes, Dick, it will happen. This year there may be many powerful benefactors who can contribute more capital than other years, it is something that I cannot ignore. After all, there are many people who depend on this. I’m still uncertain of the location; it will probably be done in Wayne Enterprises.” 

“Oh, okay,” Dick says trying not to bite his nails again. “And when will it happen?”

“Probably later this month,” Bruce says again, Dick is about to ask specifically when, but Bruce speaks again. “If I have a date it would be August 31st,” Dick stands still for a moment, trying to absorb the information. “Why?” Bruce looks him in the eye, analyzing him seriously. Dick gives a smile about to invent something when Bruce narrows his eyes. “You are not thinking of wanting to attend, correct? You know that is out of the bargain. No matter where it ends up happening, you cannot be present.” 

“Bruce—” Dick pretends reproach in his tone and immediately Bruce denies.

“No, don't expect me to let you out of the manor after all this time just to go to a gala. Nor do you expect that if the gala is held here you can attend just because it is here, you can barely hide your wings, and also we do not know if the sorceress can infiltrate in the gala in any way, respectively from the protection of Zatanna, I cannot risk anything. Not just because the sorceress has left no more messages that mean that everything is fine, far from it. It is when we must be more careful. There is no discussion about this Richard.”

“Okay, okay.” Dick raises his hands in defeat. “Is out of the question,”

“Right,” Bruce says with a frown. “Now if you allow me I have a lot of work to do.”

Dick nods and disappears from there. He immediately goes to his room and closes the door. Slowly he comes nearer his calendar, looking at all the prominent X. Okay, not a big deal. Dick is still not sure how the sorceress will come for him. She never told him how it would happen. Dick hasn't had time to think about that either. _Will it be at midnight? Will a portal appear out of nowhere and take him away?_ There are many questions. 

On the one hand, he is a little calm knowing that his family will be busy that day, wherever the gala ends up happening. Dick hopes it doesn't end up being here at the manor, that would only complicate things further. _Please, _let luck be on his side for once. 

_____________

Dick was side by side with Damian as his little brother drew on his sketchbook, they were both leaning against the headboard of Damian's bed. Dick stroking behind Titus's ear, who was slumped over Dick's legs. It is one of those afternoons when both didn’t need to do any activity to connect; being in complete silence and simply next to each other was enough to spend a really good time. Dick moves his back trying to accommodate his wings more comfortably in the backrest, his huge wings that now take up much more space than before. Damian makes a noise as he is moved by his left-wing. 

“Oops, Dami, sorry. Did I move you?” Dick asks turning to see his brother, who drives his sketchbook to his chest, shaking his head. 

“No, Grayson. I have already finished my drawing,”

“Can I see it?” Dick asks cautiously. Damian hardly ever shares his drawings with anyone, but in recent years he has been the one to show him each drawing. Now he seems a little more nervous, so Dick prefers to ask. Damian nods and extends his sketchbook. Dick takes it delicately and begins to contemplate the draw that Damian finished. It is a drawing of Titus in the background of the courtyard of the manor. The colors are bright and balanced... it looks wonderful. “Wow kiddo, you really nailed it. I love it.” 

“Yeah?” Damian asks. “I mean, yeah.”

“Sure, it's beautiful, I love the colors you used, it looks warm and soothing.” 

“I was going to leave it in black and white, but because you always insisted on bringing things to life, I figured the colors would work.”

“They do,” Dick starts turning more pages and Damian turns red. “Can I see the others?” Damian nods, still looking embarrassed, Dick tries not to smile and begins to turn the pages slowly, appreciating every beautiful drawing or sketch that Damian has been doing these past few weeks. It is when he stops to look at one particular drawing, he feels his heart throbbing. It is a drawing of his wings, Damian drawing it in such detail that Dick runs his finger slowly imagining that he touches his own feathers, is stunning. Dick keeps turning pages and realizes that most are from his wings, and there is one from his face, Damian takes the sketchbook with red cheeks. 

“Grayson! You shouldn't have seen that drawing yet.” 

“Dami, I love them, all your drawings are marvelous.”

“So did you like them?” Damian asks looking at him closely, Dick smiles.

“Of course I liked them... more than that, I loved them Dami, you are a fantastic artist. Were you planning on showing me one?” 

“Yes, maybe. Well, I was planning to give it to you at Christmas,” Damian admits, and Dick feels his heart breaking. _Christmas…_ he hadn't thought about Christmas. Dick swallows his tears and smiles again. 

“Well— but now I've seen it, and there's a lot to go before Christmas, maybe— could I have it now?”

“Are you certain?” Damian asks opening the sketchbook and turning the pages slowly. 

“Little D, you know I don't care about gifts, having you as a brother is the best gift I could have,” Dick says, Damian nods, not looking him in the eye as he delicately rips off the drawing, handing it to him with a cute little smile on his mouth.

“If you insist,” Dick observes the portrait with a proud smile, analyzing every detail that his brother drew with such attention, it looks like a photograph of his face, is really impressive. Dick smirks, even more, when he notices Damian's signature. 

“Damian, this is beautiful, thank you, it is the best gift.” Dick hugs Damian tightly, squeezing his brother and closing his eyes. Damian makes a surprised noise but lets himself be hugged.

“Grayson, you have been more sentimental than usual, asking for physical attention all the time. You are truly okay?”

“I'm fine,” Dick laughs as he feels Titus want to be part of the hug, Damian giggles a bit and pulls away, stroking Titus's ears with a smile. Then Titus turns alert and raises his ears, directing his attention to the door, which seconds later opens announcing Tim. Titus growls for a moment and Damian claps him on the back. 

“Calm down, it's just the useless of Drake. You can let your guard down.” Titus quickly calms down and goes back to lying on the bed. Tim makes a noise of annoyance but looks at Dick instead. 

“Zatanna came to visit you. Are you free?”

“Mmm-uh, I’m gonna just leave something in my room,” Dick answers looking at Tim with a frown. The teenager looks a little odd, like if he’s suspicious. Dick lovingly ruffles Damian's hair and goes to his room, leaving the precious drawing on his furniture. He then walks in the direction of the cave but stops when he observes her at the foot of the stairs. Dick smiles at her and she hugs him, making a startling noise at the wings.

“Dick! I had been told that the wings had grown, but I did not think so much.”

“I know, I'm still trying to get used to them,” Dick admits with a smile, then Zatanna stops to stare at him, she looks serious.

“Dick, we can talk?”

“Sure, we can go to the ca—“

“Let's go to another place, okay?” She cuts him off, Dick gulps but nods, feeling that nervousness appears again. They both walk and Dick directs her towards the library. They both sit in front of a window, Dick doesn't know what to say, he just knows that he must act as always. 

“What can I do for you Z?” Dick asks carefully. This is an unstable ground. Dick doesn’t want to screw things more.

“I just want to talk. Tim asked me to come, he said he was a little worried about you. Same with Bruce, he would never admit it out loud, of course. But they both have been feeling like you are acting strange. So I came here to check on you. What is wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I speak with them already, I’m fine.” 

“I can feel that something has changed. I can feel this dark vibe around you, like if the light you always project is gone. You cannot fool me, I am your friend, I have been for many years. I know you, Dick. I don’t know why you fear to speak him me about this. But I can help you.”

“No, you can’t,” Dick says bitterly. _What’s the point of denying everything? _Zatanna can’t help him now anyway.

“Yes, I can. I just need you to tell me—“

“Zatanna, you can’t help me, not anymore. Not after what I have done.” Dick instinctively holds his palm close to his chest. Zatanna inspects him and then she frowns. Zatanna says nothing but instead extends her hand. Dick frowns now.

“Your hand, let me see it," Zatanna says seriously, looking him in the eye. Dick raises his eyebrow and extends his left hand. Zatanna shakes her head. “Your other hand,” Dick swallows and extends his other hand, palm up. Dick observes his hand remembering the cut and the blood, Dick imagined that a scar would remain, but any evidence of the blood pact had disappeared. Zatanna takes his hand and inspects it closely. She traces her fingers in the center of his palm. 

“What's wrong Z? Do you like my hand?” Dick tries to joke, but Zatanna doesn't smile, instead, she shakes her head again. 

“What did you do Dick?" Zatanna says releasing his hand and looking him in the eyes.

“What?” Dick responds. 

“Don’t act bluff,” Zatanna says frowning. “Tell me, tell me what you did. I can feel all that dark magic eradicating from your hand. I can feel it, Dick.”

“I— “ Dick looks away pressing his palm to his chest. There is no scar, but Dick can still feel the burning, the reminder of what he did. “I did what I had to do.” Dick finally admits. Zatanna closes her eyes, letting out some rudeness in a language that Dick doesn't understand. When she opens her eyes, she stares at him with such intensity that Dick almost trembles. 

“What were you thinking? Why didn't you say something? The house is insured! That means you went out. How?” 

“I just— did. I have no idea how, but I went out of the window as if she was calling me,”

“I do not understand,” Zatanna says running a hand over her face. “How could she do that? The spell, the spell is powerful. That means that…”

“She’s more powerful. She’s possibly a chaos lord— well, woman, _whatever_, she’s someone who has been living for a long time. It’s like no one I have met before, and I have met a _few _sorceresses, but not like her,” 

“Yeah, I figure. Maybe she’s one, _a chaotic entity_, but I do not know for sure yet. That will explain this dark vibe about her,” She says more to herself. “We have faced a chaos lord before. Klarion, remember him?” 

“Yeah, I remember,” Dick says almost hearing his malicious laugh.

“We can’t kill a chaotic entity; just banish them, _with luck_. Their magic is just very powerful to be contained. And besides, there are no rules in their magic system, the only rule it will be no rules at all! But, nearly always a chaos lord needs to be anchored by a host or through a familiar to remain in this dimension, did you see something similar with her?”

“No, she was alone. But she told me she works with someone else.” Dick says feeling a pain in his palm again. 

“With someone? That does not make sense. Why would she be working with someone? That is odd. Maybe with she’s working is her anchor? Tell me everything. Tell me about what you— what she force you to do.”

“I cannot tell you,” Dick mutters. He can't tell anyone about the deal, that would be breaking it. Zatanna changes her face to one of sadness. “I did the only thing I could do, protect my family. I had no choice. Literally—it was my only option.” Dick closes his eyes raising his palm. “I said yes.”

“Dick...” Zatanna says, understanding everything immediately. “I—“ 

“It is not your fault Z, you have done everything you can, you have been with me since almost the first day. There was no escape. Now I need you— to take care of everyone, to look for me when the time comes.” Dick says feeling his palm burn even more. Zatanna understands again, taking his hand. 

“Bruce and I had already everything planned,” Zatanna admits a few minutes later. “A plan to get you out of here and take you to a safe place. At least until we could know what to do with her. No one would know about this place, not even Bruce. Constantine and other magicians I know helped us with this place. And now—” she gulps, and Dick tries not to break again. _What else could break now?_ Dick is just broken pieces. 

“I don’t have much time.” It's the only thing Dick says, feeling his palm red hot. “I have no other choice. I need you to keep it secret, you can't do anything now. You can’t help me.” She nods in defeat and takes his palm, running her fingers over his skin. Dick closes his eyes and tries to speak again, but he can't, there is nothing more to say. _Is a lost game._

“I'm afraid you're right... if you broke the agreement there could be very serious consequences. It’s like if you had traded your soul,” She says with a sigh. “Whatever you have agreed upon, it cannot be interrupted or altered. There's nothing I can do against that kind of deal. When the time comes, I will not be able to prevent her to take you,” Dick nods in defeat. He already knew, but hearing it come from one of the most powerful sorceresses he knows, Zatanna. _It's hard_. “However... I can think of something that might work.” 

“What?” Dick whispers, opening his eyes. Zatanna makes a gesture and Dick extends both hands, she holds them tightly.

“There is something we can do that may work, not now, but it will, _most likely_. You cannot tell me anything about this agreement, not the what, the when or the where, but—” she says, regaining her confidence. “When all this over, I can make a mental connection with you.”

“How? I'm sure she will hide my location the same way she’s been doing all this time. You will not be able to find her.” Dick answers. 

“No, I cannot perceive her or know where she is. But maybe I can do it with you.”

“And she won't be able to know it?” Dick doesn't want to risk anything, but he knows the deal only ends when the month ends. What happens next is no longer part of anything.

“She won't know anything if you don't know either. When the time ends, and she takes you away, the deal will be over; you would have fulfilled your part of the deal, so there’s no danger with that part. So, if we do now a mental connection, _a strong connection_, that means that maybe I will be able to go inside your head and perceive where you are. I don’t know if it is going to work, but this is our only chance to rescue you. When we finish with this, you won’t remember anything. I will erase the memories of this conversation to protect you, you will not know about this plan. I will not tell anybody either, this will remain secret until the right time comes.” Zatanna says smiling and getting closer to him, pulling her chair closer together. “Listen carefully, Dick, this is what we will do.”

Dick feels his heart pounding out of his chest. Zatanna explains her new plan to him, _well_, it doesn't count as a plan because they don't know if it'll work, but that's better than nothing. Dick listens carefully. Dick cannot say anything about the deal but that doesn’t mean that Zatanna can enter his mind and see it for herself. _That doesn’t break the rules, right? _They both talk for hours, thinking about all the pros and cons of the idea. After all, it was risky, but it could work. Zatanna is really good at mental manipulation; she goes inside his head so smoothly that he feels safe and sound. He can feel her now, like a presence in his mind, like a soft whisper. Eventually, she can feel him too. A strong link between them is made. Then, she puts her palm against his forehead again with teary eyes. 

“Your mind to my mind... your thoughts to my thoughts,” She says softly.

“That isn’t a Vulcan quote? Are you really quoting Star Trek at this moment?” Dick says with a tired smile. 

“Shut up,” she says with a fond smile, and then she says something backward, her palm burning against his forehead.

_Everything turns white._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking this long to update but i had a mental block and i wanted this chapter to be fucking good, I hope you enjoy this and please cry with me in the nexp chapter. Second part in a few hours I'm editing. :(


	29. Goodbye  2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick last day. 
> 
> Important note: please cry with me

_Thirtieth Day._

Dick couldn't sleep in the last week; he was so busy taking delight of every second of the day that sleep seemed like a waste of time. There was no time to lose. He can't say it hasn’t been a good time, it was, each one of the days has been. _Each day was worth it_, every smile, every hug, every word; it reminded him _why_ he had made that deal in the first place. The only thing he needed and missed so much was Jason. _Jay_, who has been almost 14 days away. Dick had tried with all his self to not miss him, but that was the one thing he couldn’t bottle up. At least he knew Jay was fine. The bastard called him saying that he would be back soon, that he was ok. On the one hand— _a cowardly part_, Dick preferred it that way. It would be much less painful to leave without having to say goodbye, but he knew that would hurt Jason so much. But he preferred that to see him dead, he would do everything to protect him, just like making that stupid deal. If Jason was going to hate him, _okay_. He preferred that but knowing that he will be _safe_. Part of Dick craved for him to come back soon, and part of him expected him not to. 

The days banished from his fingers so quickly that Dick feared that he was losing his mind little by little. He was so caught up in the present that a moment after he blinks, and he’s standing in an empty balcony, just in front of the window, eyes burning with tears, fists clutching so thigh the banister that his knuckles are white. _How did he get here? Is morning, or is afternoon already?_ He doesn’t know, he’s sure he ate breakfast with his family; maybe after all it was his _last_ breakfast with them. He remembers everyone at the table was busy with something else, ready for tonight's gala. Everyone was so focused on the event that they may haven’t seen the forewarning signs on him. _Never mind._ Dick preferred it that way. 

Dick doesn’t remember how he end up here, _alone_. Possibility, he was acting in autopilot again. His mind far away— terrified because today was the day. His mind was trying to protect him, blacking him out of reality so he wouldn’t really lose his fucking shit. 

“Dick?” Bruce’s voice makes him jump. Dick laid eyes on him taking a quick breath. _Oh,_ _Damn_. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? What are you doing here?” Bruce stares at him carefully.

“Jesus B, knock the door, will you? But yeah, I’m ok. Why?”

“Because,” Bruce answers getting closer, his face impassable. “You were acting a bit odd at breakfast, and you haven’t tried to convince me about letting you go to the gala. I told you _no_ just one time and you didn’t argue about it. And that’s not like you at all.”

“Ok, I know I _never ever_ hear you out and I always disobey your rules but trust me, I’m not in the mood for a gala,”

“And why is that?” Bruce asks with honest curiosity.

“I don’t know, I guess I’m— tired and I would appreciate a night to myself.”

“Hmm, really?” Bruce sounds not convinced at all. Dick releases an exasperated sigh.

“I’m serious Bruce! I’m not going anywhere,” He doesn't know _when_ she will appear, he doesn't know _how_ she will break through, he doesn't know _what_ expect from this day. _It’s too risky to go out._

“I will know if you leave the manor, Zatanna will be on surveillance of the perimeter, she said she will be monitoring you, I mean, the house,” Bruce points his finger at him anyway, like if he didn’t hear him, but there’s a funny little gesture on his face. Dick can’t help but smile, but he doesn’t say anything else. The words don’t come out, he feels a lump in his throat. Something most show on his expression because Bruce frowns. “See you in a while, chum,” Bruce says and turns around, hand on the doorknob, but then he turns back. “Are you sure it's okay for you to be alone? I can cancel my participation and—”

“Yes, Dad, I'm sure. And besides, I won’t be alone, Alfred will only drive you there and go back when the gala ends. He will be here in the in-between. And plus Zatanna will be watching, you don't have to worry about me, I am an adult,” Dick says in a light tone, smiling at him once more. “See you in a while,” Bruce nods a bit unsure but disappears from the room. Dick looks again at the window. He doesn’t know how much time passes; he just stands there, like in trance. Then he hears something and he can recognize by memory the sound of those footsteps.

“Grayson, I finally find you,” Damian speaks standing next to him. Dick smiles at him coming out of his momentary daze. “You are not thinking about attending to the ludicrous gala. Right?” Damian says crossing his arms. _Why everyone thinks he’s going to that damn gala?_ He almost laughs at that. “I was considering... not attending and maybe doing another silly marathon of those ridiculous movies you like.”

“Oh Dami, thanks. But you should go, I’m sure Bruce would want you there,” Dick answers with a small smile. He can't risk it; he must be alone this day. _But it hurts a lot to say it_. “I'll be fine kiddo, I could enjoy an afternoon alone, after all, I've been in the constant company of everyone. I need a day for myself.” 

“Fine, but when the silly gala ends we can continue with the marathon,” Damian says frowning. Dick can't find his voice to say something else. Dick doesn't know if there will be a tomorrow. They both stand there for a long time, just looking at the broad window overlooking the forest and in the distance, the city can be glimpsed. Dick feels like a caged bird again, with no possibility of breaking free, just espying at his freedom. The possibility of escaping is sneaking through his fingers with every second that goes away. Damian lets out a sigh beside him which brings him back from his thoughts.

“I extremely dislike those people,” Damian breaks the silence. “They are self-centered and hypocritical people pretending to be altruistic. They are so fake,” 

“They are, most of them,” Dick says remembering that as a child he didn’t love attending to so many events and galas. “But the money they donate helps a lot of people, that's the only thing that matters. Bruce always makes sure that all money is genuinely donated. Many people pretend to be a sheep when they are wolves. Most of these events indeed help people but also give other benefits to a few others. Our dear Gotham.” Dick says bitterly. 

“When I grow up, I will be like father and make sure that these kinds of events are really charitable. I hope to continue his heritage in every way...” Damian says and Dick turns to see him, a proud smile appearing.

“I have no doubt about it. I have told you many times, and I would do it many more, but you are going to be a great man. You can change the world by being a good person and helping whoever needs it. This is what all is about,” Dick says. “It's not about who you used to be, that's in the past. It's about who you are, _right now_. What you do will have positive or negative consequences. Damian, always choose to be a good person.” Dick squeezes Damian's shoulder, who is watching him closely. “That's what being a hero is about. It isn’t about praise or fame. It's about doing the right thing, save someone. That is the best satisfaction there can be.” 

“Richard— Dick," Damian says, full of emotion. Dick smiles more when hearing his nickname, Damian never uses it unless it really slips him away, like now. “Trust me, I will be. After all, I have a worthy mentor. Thanks for your words. I will keep them in mind. May I ask why are you saying these things now?” 

“Little D, these are things that I should always say. After everything that has happened, I have learned to say things at the moment before it is too late. Sounds paranoid, I know. But I feel the need to say them now.”

“Tt. Very well Richard, if you insist. I guess you are correct, it is important to always be truthful and transparent. I have learned it thanks to you.” Dick nods knowing the truth of those words. So he comes face to face with Damian, holding his shoulders. 

“I love you, Damian,” Dick says feeling his heart shattering, Damian blinks several times and then he hugs him. “Maybe I don't say it that often, _well_, maybe I do. But when I don’t say it, I hope that my actions speak louder.” 

“They do,” Damian admits in a whisper, as if being vulnerable is something only he can hear. “I—love you too Grayson. I never say it as I should but I hope my actions speak louder too,” Dick closes his eyes holding on to this moment. Then Damian pulls away clearing his throat and adjusting his pajamas. “Well, thanks for sharing that moment with me. Now I must get my clothes ready for the gala. I'll see you in a while, Grayson.”

“Yeah Dami,”

Damian nods and disappears to his room. Dick peek one last look at the window and then he walks to his own room, hugging himself with his wings. The urge to cry again hits him harshly; he doesn’t know if he would bear this any longer. He knows that he’s being much sappier now, but he can’t help it. Damian is his little brother, one of his highest priorities, maybe Bruce or Tim would understand why he did what he did... _but Damian_, maybe he isn’t going to understand it. Dick hopes than Jason understands too, _someday_. In the letter he left everything he can’t say now, every reason, every goodbye like he wished he could have, but he knows that won’t be possible, is just too much, today is the day and Dick isn’t ready. He left too a letter to Zatanna, trusting her to watch over his family, she will understand the word _sacrifice_. Dick doesn't remember exactly what happened with her, he just knows that somehow he feels a little soothing. But he can't remember why or what changed. But he knows there’s something; he can feel it in the back of his mind. For some reason, he prefers to leave it like that, _untouchable_. 

Dick spends time sitting on the floor, piercing the clock with his eyes. Every second that goes by is one that will never come back. Dick wants this torture to end. _It's too much_. Dick is broken, but now it feels like she’s breaking every already broken part, making him just dust. Dick closes his eyes, and then he hears hasty voices and hurried footsteps. He stands up as he can and opens the door, looking out into the hallway. _Waiting._

“Dick!” Dick stands frozen, barely breathing... Hearing Jason's voice— _catches him off-balance_. He twists around and finds him running towards him. He looks like a mess, with tousled hair and disheveled clothes. He has huge dark circles under his eyes and cuts on his eyebrow and a small one on his cheek, he also has smalls bruises on his handsome face. Jason stands in front of him, breathing heavily as if he ran all the way to get here. Jason doesn’t think twice and hugs him, holding him tight. Dick closes his eyes, hugging him back. They stay a few seconds like that and then Jason slowly moves away, staring at him. 

“Jason? What happened to you? Why did you take so long? Where were you?” Dick asks feeling that pain again. _Fuck_, he didn't expect to see him, not this day, _not now_. Dick slowly reaches out his hand and touches his face, brushing his wounded cheek, needing the confirmation that isn’t a dream; this is real, _he’s really here_. Jason closes his eyes at the contact and lets out a sigh. 

“Fuck. You are okay, everything’s fine,” he whispers more to himself. “I will explain everything to you Goldie, I have a very good explanation, trust me,” Jason says releasing a tired smile. Dick nods taking his hand and dragging him into his room.

“Come on Jay, you need a bath,” Dick says with an honest grin. Jason really needed a bath. Jason laughs rolling his eyes.

“Is that the first thing you say to me after all, Birdie?” Jason jokes sitting heavily on his bed. “What did I miss? Everything is truly fine?”

“Some things, but yeah, everything's fine,” Dick says scratching his forehead. This time he takes the time to look more closely at Jason. He looks exhausted like he's fought with an entire army. But at the same time, he looks relieved, as if he had come back with less weight on him. Jason keeps giving him that burning look. Dick gulps and pats Jay's back. “I will tell you everything once you explain everything to me. Don't expect me to act as nothing happened, you went away for days, Jason.” 

“Fine,” Jason says getting up with a groan and heading to _his_ bathroom. Dick giggles, Jason hasn't even tried to go to his old room. It is as if he has moved into _his_ room. Jason burst in the bathroom and begins to regulate the temperature of the water, Dick remains at the door, not knowing if he should go inside. Jason begins to remove the layers of shirts that he’s wearing. As he does so he lets out a groan as he moves his back, without thinking Dick reaches out and helps him take off his shirt, watching a bruise cover his back. Dick runs his fingers gently over the skin, Jason jumps a little at the touch. 

“What the hell Jay?” Dick asks leaving his hand a few more seconds. Jason turns to face him with a half-smile.

“I’m ok Goldie, just a few bruises,” Jason says stepping forward and taking off the rest of his clothes. Dick feels his cheeks getting red and he decides to brush his teeth and look at the mirror trying not to focus his attention on Jason going inside the shower. He lets out a noise of satisfaction. 

“And could you tell me why you have bruises in the first place?” Dick demands with his mouth full of toothpaste. Jason makes a noise. 

“That night when we were having— our moment,” Jason says clearing his throat. “Roy called me and—“

“Roy? Is he okay? How’s Lian? Why did he call you?” Dick says at full speed. It's been a while since he last spoke to Roy. Dick tries to ignore the pain in his heart. So many good friends that he may never see again. 

“Can I tell my story first?” Jason says soaping his black hair. Dick nods, ending with brushing his teeth and trying not to look at him too much. “As I was saying... Roy called. A couple of months ago, when we still didn't know much about the sorceress, I asked all of my underworld contacts about rumors or reports about her; there was nothing. So in the following months, I was doing my own research,” Jason says wetting his face and hair. “It turns out that there are not many things about lords of chaos, after all, they are unpredictable fucking things, or _whatever_. But— I had heard rumors of a weapon that was designed to only kill stuff like that. It was supposed to be a legend, so I asked Roy to help me investigate further. Not much was known about this weapon because everyone thought it was magical and mystical, but there are certain people who knew things. When he called that night, a contact had obtained information that the brother of who knows who had told him and blah, blah,” Jason turns off the water and grabs the closest towel, starting to dry himself. “We went to see this guy so he could tell us specifically about the location of such a weapon. There were rumors of a place where it could be. There I was all this time.” Jason comes out of the shower placing the towel around his waist.

“So... you went looking for the myth of an almighty weapon?” Dick asks slowly. Jason nods heading to the room and opening the dresser taking his own clothes.

“Yep,”

“And did you find it?” Dick asks curiously. Maybe this is something in their favor. _Something good after all_.

“Yep. Do you think I would come here empty-handed? I told you I would do everything to really protect you. It wasn't easy, a lot of shit happened, like if everything was against us. But I am persistent.” Jason says with a proud smile. He finishes putting some boxers and sweatpants. Dick gets closer as he sees more bruises scattered across his abdomen.

“What happened? You are injured?” Dick asks not knowing what else to say. Jason went looking for something like that, _just for him_. It is a lot to process. And again that discomfort comes. The guilt— _the guilt_ hits him for the first time. _Oh no. _

“I'm fine Goldie,” Jason says pushing the damp hair away from his forehead. Dick gets even closer, he reaches out his hand and brushes the bruise on his side. Jason lets out a laugh. “It wasn't cute,” Jason says smiling as he possibly remembers what happened. “Those who protected the weapon weren’t happy with an outsider taking something so valuable,” Jason comments reaching out and putting his hair away from his face, Dick shivers at the contact. “But I was pretty convincing.”

“What did you tell them?” Dick whispers feeling Jason's breathing so close to his cheek, _very close_. Dick should walk away, he should do the right thing and not continue in this cat and mouse game. If he keeps like this, he's only going to break Jason's heart more when he leaves.

“The truth,” Jason whispers back, looking at him closely, his turquoise eyes with that touch of green leaving him hushed. “I needed that weapon to protect the most important person in my life. And that I was willing to do anything to get it,” Dick hears feeling a lump in his throat. “Maybe they saw something in me and they make me do a test, prove that I was worthy enough, supposedly the blade is powered by the soul of the wielder, so the blade kind of choose me? I don’t know, the point is that I passed the fucking test and here I’m,” Dick doesn’t say anything and Jason stares at him deeply. “Hey, but don't worry. I'm fine Goldie, I got it. Now we have something for us, we can beat her.” Dick tries to nod. What could he say? _‘Jason, it is not necessary... I already made a decision. I did exactly what everyone feared and offered my life in exchange for your safety. Oops.’_ “You don't have to worry about anything else. I promise you.”

“And where’s the blade?” Dick asks curiously.

“I left it in the cave, I didn’t want to walk around with a fucking sword, maybe Tim can take a look, or someone with magic, I need to prove that isn’t fucking fake,”

“Jason!” They both turn to see Tim, looking Jason up and down. “Where have you been?”

“Long story,” Jason says, letting out a noise of protest as Dick breaks away from his embrace. Dick walks away and moves to his dresser, pretending that it is not difficult to breathe. Tim observes him with a frown but the teenager must assume that it is about his _‘complicated stuff’_ with Jason. “What did I miss?”

“Important? Nothing serious. Everything has been calm. There has been nothing alarming or unusual. The only drawback was days of organizing the charity gala of each year. Bruce was going to cancel everything and leave it to someone else, but in the end, we decided to do it, many people benefit from this and cannot wait any longer. It will be tonight.”

“Damn, it's been a long time since I've been to one,” Jason says putting on a shirt and sitting on the bed. “Whatever, I have good news.”

“Seriously?” Tim asks crossing his arms and looking at him closely, obviously interested.

“As I was telling Goldie, I found the thing we needed right now. _An advantage_. Maybe this is our only chance to stop that bitch.” Jason says and Tim raises his eyebrow, clearly not expecting that.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“A sword, a sword that can be our ticket to win,”

“A sword? Against a powerful sorceress?”

“Don't be stupid, Tim. It is not just any sword, it was only created to vanquish magic-based threats, evil and powerful beings like her. Why do you think I look like shit? I didn't go on vacation. It wasn't easy to get it, but I'm the fucking Red Hood after all.”

“I don’t know what to say. That is good news, more than good. Maybe it can all be over at once.” Tim says with a small smile, it looks as if the weight of his shoulders is gone. Tim turns to look at him and Dick pretends to smile, tries to change his body language, tries to feel at least a little hopeful.

“We'll talk about this when the ridiculous party is over. We need to see those witches again. It is time to put together a real strategy. Finally, we will be in control.”

“Zatanna was going to be surveillance for 'wing tonight. Bruce prefers not to take any risks. But now that you are here, I am relieved to know that Dick will not be alone.”

“Yep,” Dick comments, pretending to look for something in his drawers. “It's been a while since I saw her and not by video call. It good to know she will be watching over us.”

“Dick, but it is not less than 7 days since she came. Remember? You were talking for a long time. Don't you remember that?” Tim asks, putting that worried look back on. Dick blinks several times just remembering the event, _right_. But everything seems blurred as if there was a hole in everything. Dick nods. 

“Oh yeah, I remember,” Dick says gesturing with his hands. “For a moment I forgot.”

“Are you planning to go to that stupid gala? With your wings like that?” Jason asks, watching him closely, knowing that there is something strange.

“No Little Wing, I'm not in the mood,” Dick says with a smile.

“You can't go, Dick, you know it wouldn't be the wisest thing to do,” Tim repeats to him again, has been reminding him for _days_ why it would be a bad idea. Everyone knows that Dick is never good at following orders. But c’mon, this time he’s staying home, _ha_. 

“I don't think I will Timmy, it's been a long time since I've attended a gala. It's not like I miss them, but I miss feeling normal.” Dick says leaning on a piece of furniture. “But given things, I agree that it's not a good idea, maybe I can't hide my wings this time.” Before either of them can reply, Dick heads to the bathroom. “I need a bath.” Dick closes the door with a sigh, time is running, and it doesn't wait for anyone. Dick continues to feel those chills. _How much time does he have left? Hours? A few minutes?_ The constant paranoia comes back, like an old friend. Everything continues to get complicated. But at least his family will be away, the only problem is Jason, he won't leave him alone. Dick has to think of something, but the ideas don’t come to his mind. _There is nothing_. Dick takes a slow shower, taking his time. Once he comes out he dries up and changes, all in autopilot again. It is much heavier to dry his wings now, they are twice as big, but he manages to do it fine. Once out, Tim is gone, just Jason, who is still sitting on the bed. He looks exhausted. So Dick doesn't think twice and gets closer, pulling him towards the bed.

“Oh, won't you wait for our second date?” Jason jokes with that beautiful smile. Dick feels his cheeks reddish as he sits next to Jason.

“We already discussed that. No, you need to sleep. You look like shit.”

“If you insist,” Jason says releasing another tired sigh but passes his arm around his half; Dick tries not to tremble at the contact. Jason instead focuses his attention on stroking his left-wing, touching every exact spot he knows he loves. Dick closes his eyes. “Relax Pretty Bird. Everything will be fine.” Jason whispers. Dick squeezes his eyes and tries to say something, but in the end, he prefers to take Jason's hand and intertwine their fingers again. Jason squeezes his hand and it doesn't take him long to fall asleep, snoring softly. Dick savors the moment, holding it tight. If this is the last time, he needs to enjoy it like never before. Dick can't help falling asleep, being next to Jason, sleeping next to him makes him good.

_____________

Dick is awakened by a movement next to him. When he opens his eyes he blinks several times in the low light. Jason gives a yawn and moves again. Dick sits up suddenly, _fuck_. _How much time passed? What time is it?_ Dick can only hear total silence. The manor is never so silent, but right now there is nothing. If someone dropped a pin, Dick might be able to hear it.

“Hey Goldie, relax,” Jason says releasing another yawn. Dick gets up looking towards the window, the curtains are closed. But outside there is still some light, it is just getting dark.

“Did you rest a bit?” Dick asks, refocusing his attention on Jason.

“Yeah. Whenever you are around I sleep better,” Jason admits, then gets out of bed and slowly stretches his body. “Fuck, I’m starving.”

“Me too. Maybe we can eat something quick with everyone before they leave.” Dick tries not to sound desperate, it was not his intention to sleep, it was a mistake, time wasted no matter how much he missed sleeping next to Jason. But then Jay waves his hand.

“They're already gone.”

“What?” Dick can't help the high pitch on his tone. _Oh no, please no_... he couldn't say anything else; he didn't see them for a last time.

“Yeah, Bruce came but he found you asleep and he didn't want to wake you up, the old man told me to take care of you. They wanted to leave earlier, I don't know why, something about a technical problem. Alfred took them there,” Dick nods trying not to burst into tears. At least they're far, far away now. Everything is fine. “Is something wrong Dickie?” Jason asks feeling his agitation. Dick shakes his head, re-entering that trance that he forced himself to be for 30 days.

“Nothing, I just wanted to tell them to have fun. That's it.”

“You can send a text,” Jason says with a shrug. "Well, I was thinking,” Jason says finishing stretching, letting out a little groan. "Why don't we start watching that TV show again? I didn’t pay attention to a few chapters. And maybe we can finish what we left that day at the picnic.” Jason says nervously. Dick gulps trying to think of something to say, having to change the subject.

“You know? I was thinking about—” Dick stops when his phone starts ringing. Dick takes it reading the name of Zatanna, he immediately answers. “Z? Hi?”

“Hi, Dick. How are you? Bruce told me that Jason had returned and would be with you, which calmed him down considerably. And Tim told me that Jason had found some kind of sword that we could use against the sorceress, is that true?”

“Yeah, it's true. Jason says that when the gala is over he will tell them everything that happened.”

“Okay, are you okay?”

“I'm fine Z,” Dick says tightening the phone.

“Okay, I'll be keeping an eye on everything anyway. I will reach you soon.” Dick hangs up the call feeling a headache, _reach him? Why would Zatanna say something like that?_ There is something familiar in all that, in that word, but Dick cannot remember anything. But Zatanna doesn't know anything, nobody knows about the deal. She just wants to know how he is, make sure everything is fine... Dick decides to stop thinking about it and let it go, that's not important now. If these are his last hours at least he should have a good time, enjoy his time with the only person who he hasn’t been able to see these last weeks, the person who turns his world upside down and makes a fuss, but who Dick needs now more than ever. So Dick turns to see Jason with a half-smile.

“So I was thinking— why don't we go down for a few drinks and have that movie night? And maybe… we can finish what we left at the picnic.”

“Fuck, yeah, ok. You don't know how much I wished to come back and explain everything to you. I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me or talk to me. Thanks, Birdie, for giving me another chance.” Jason says with a shy smile. Dick nods and decides to put on his vest and bandage his wings, for some reason the weight of his wings right now feels unbearable. He barely manages to do it even with the help of Jason, his wings are too big to be hidden, but they manage to cover them successfully. Dick eventually decides to just put on some sweatpants and a baggy Jason’s t-shirt. He feels his cheeks burning as he passes it over his body. It smells like lemon and cigarettes. _It smells like Jason_. Dick finishes putting it on and for some reason, he feels protected with it. Jason stares him all the time, his eyes passing over his body without hiding it. “Fuck,” Jason whispers approaching him and appreciating his shirt on him. “Goldie… you look— fine. Your eyes… stand out with this color.” Jason says touching his cheek. Dick struggles to reply or walk away, _but how could he refuse now?_ We waited so long for this.

“Thank you. You look— very good too.” Dick says awkwardly, Jason giggles and points out to his clothes.

“I know, sweatpants and a hoodie make me look hot,” Jason says with a provocative smile. “Why you want to put on your vest? We are in the manor, and there is no one anyway. We could run around naked if we wanted to.” Dick makes a noise of laughter and hits Jason on the shoulder. _Damn_, the simple thought makes him feel hot.

“Jay, we won't do anything like that. And— I don't know, tonight I don't want to see my wings.”

“Why? What's going on? Did something happen while I was gone?” It's fascinating how Jason's expression can change from one second to the next, Dick shakes his head.

“Nothing, it's just that I want to feel normal tonight. Just Dick Grayson.”

“Ok Goldie but let me remind you that winged or wingless, you are still Dick Grayson. You have never been a normal person, and there is nothing wrong with that. The way you are— that's enough. More than that,” Jason says seriously, Dick looks away shyly and Jason lets out a sigh. “Come on, I'm starving Dickie,” Dick nods, looking at his room in detail, wondering if this is the last time he will be there. Then he remembers what he was supposed to have done hours ago. 

“Wait for me downstairs, I have to do something quick.”

“Okay,” Jason says, wrinkling his forehead but slowly pulling away. Dick re-enters his room and takes the letters hidden behind the clock, he squeezes them tight and takes a deep breath. He doesn't take anything else; he carries everything of value in his mind and heart. Dick hurries to leave the letters in the place he planned for someone to find them, and he goes down the stairs. Then he spots Jason leaning against the broad window of the stairs playing with a lighter. Outside it is almost completely dark, only the light from the manor lamps illuminates the stairs, giving it a magical atmosphere, like a soft silver glow. 

“Ready. C’mon,” Dick says adjusting the back of his shirt, feeling the bulk of his wings. Jason stares him and he gets closer, running a hand down his back, Dick feels the chills at the touch. He is dangerously close again— Dick feels his legs tremble.

“Wait. I need to ask you something first,” Jason murmurs taking his time just touching his back. “Everything is fine? Are you distant for that night? I know I looked really bad going like that— but I had no choice. The trail would have been lost and we would never have gotten that sword. I know that I am always chickening out and thinking that someday I will have the courage to say the things I need to say. But the truth is that I never find it, and I can't wait another minute.” 

“Jason—“ Dick begins to say. He must stop him. _No, this is not the time_. _Not now. Please. _

“Please just hear me out. If you don't want to hear me later, I'll understand— but I need to tell you, you need to know,” Jason takes a deep breath, taking courage. Slowly, he runs his fingers down his cheek, caressing his skin. Dick can feel his breathing so close again. “I know I've screwed it up many times, more than I can count. The truth is that life has never been fair to me. It always takes from me what I love the most, as if I _don’t_ deserve to be happy. And maybe I don't deserve many things, I haven't been a good person, but I've tried, _dammit_, I've tried it.” Jason says, the emotion is clear in his voice. Dick feels the tears at the edge of his eyes. “And maybe I'll never be good enough to deserve someone like you. You are— someone so good, someone for whom it would be worth going to the end of the world or making the greatest sacrifice. What I mean is that… I have always been afraid to feel. Feeling only meant pain and disappointment, something else that could hurt me. But it has been a very tough and lonely life, Dick. But now I understand, maybe I'm still afraid, but I've also felt strong. You make me feel like this. I'm sick of keep denying myself this, I've waited so long to get the guts,” Dick can already feel the tears falling, Jason brushes them away with his thumb, taking another deep breath. “And I don't know if you feel the same, if you could ever want me like this. I know you're not at your best, maybe I'm being selfish. But I needed to _say it_. So many obstacles, so many excuses that I made up to delay it. But the truth is something I can't hide anymore, maybe everyone saw it before I could admit it myself, but I'm really crazy about you. **You got me**, Pretty Bird. You just have to say yes and dammit, I would do everything.” 

“Jay...” Dick manages to say through tears.

“And I know that you deserve someone much better than me, someone who is just as good as you, but I am willing to change, I am willing to—”

“It is not about deserve, or about change. It's about _how_ I feel,” Dick manages to say, taking Jason's face with both hands. “And I feel it too, Jason. I do.” Dick knows that maybe this is not the right thing; this will only break Jason’s heart more. But it is also his only chance to say it, one _last _chance to say it.

So before Jason can say anything else, before he can think _twice_, Dick _kisses_ him. Jason makes a stunned sound followed by a pleased sigh. At first, it’s a chaste kiss. They both touching their lips, moving their mouths tenderly, exploring every angle, every part of their lips, tasting the sweet of their mouths. Dick let out a shaky breath when he feels Jason’s hand caress his lower back, his other hand grabbing his face. Jason moves his mouth a few inches away, and he begins spreading wet kisses towards his jaw and neck, Dick let out a moan without being able to hold it and he bites his lip, feeling a little ashamed for the little noises he's making. He's always been very sensitive and loudly. Jason stops with the wet kisses and he bites tenderly his lip. “Don’t hold back Birdie, I want to hear you,” he whispers, his voice deep and sinful. Dick nods making another noise and Jason responds to that sound locking their bodies together, he can feel Jason’s body so hot against him. Then Jason kisses him again, this time more deeply, shoving his tongue. Jason’s mouth tastes like a mix of coffee and tobacco, a tempting sin. Dick feels his head spinning. Jason starts moving his arm around and it settles in his hip, moving underneath the baggy t-shirt and touching skin, his callused fingers tracing circles, Dick feel chills going down his spine, letting out another lustful sound. After a moment, the two move away from the kiss with a ragged breath, Dick opens his eyes leaning his forehead with Jason's, feeling light-headed and weak. Completely at his _mercy. _

“I love you,” Dick whispers, words that seem to echo throughout the place. Jason blinks several times and runs his tongue over his lips, letting out a sigh, and smiles, that fucking beautiful smile only meant for his eyes.

“Fuck,” Jason gives a small nervous laugh. “Shit, I fucking love you too.”

“Who would have thought that the bad boy would be so romantic?” Dick says with a mocking grin, Jason holds his head and kisses him once more, this time more passionately. Only to part with that same smile.

“Damn, I always have been, deep down. But you can't tell anyone.” Jason says and Dick kisses him again, savoring the pleasing taste from his mouth.

“I can’t tell anyone?” Dick says with that teasing grin, Jason shakes his head and leaves a wet kiss on his jaw again, gently biting the skin. Dick feels his legs like jelly.

“This is just between you and me Goldie. My dirty little secret,” They both stay a long moment there, unable to contain themselves after so long _waiting_. Dick tries to control himself and not get lost in the moment, but he can’t. Jason's body and lips are irresistible, he can’t get enough. He needs more. But he remembers, _remembers the deal_.

“We have to— go down now. I'm hungry, I thought you were too.” Dick says and Jason lets out a noise of protest, locking his fingers in his hair, tilting his head to the side, getting access to his neck.

“Are you sure? I just discovered my new favorite activity,” Jason murmurs kissing the corner of his mouth and going down to his jaw, Dick must remind himself of what is going to happen tonight.

“Yes, I need a drink,” Dick says looking Jason in the eyes, he nods and moves a little, but that warm gaze continues to look at him.

“Me too,” Jason peeks at his lips again and then takes his hand, Dick feels like a teenager again, being controlled by his hormones. They both go downstairs and head towards the kitchen, Jason quickly finding a bottle of wine and arranging a mini-meal. “It's not like that picnic of that night, but I think it can do it justice,” Jason mutters sitting next to him, Dick nods taking a drink.

“Whatever you do is good, I don't need a marvelous banquet or a romantic dinner. Having you here is enough. Truly enough.”

“Yeah, I know, but I want to make it special. You deserve it, Dick. You deserve something special.” Dick nods and Jason smiles shyly again. “Well, would you fill me with the details about these days without me?” Dick smiles. He tells Jason _everything_, the things he has done, the days spend with Tim and Damian, the memories that he holds with all his strength. Dick loses time perspective again, being with Jason makes him stupid, makes him sloppy and total sap. Jason is the biggest sap too, even if he’s trying to hide it. Dick remembers something hours later, so he stops tasting the mouth of Jason looking at the kitchen clock. “What’s wrong Dickie?” Jason asks giving him a little space. Dick frowns.

“Where’s Alfred? He was supposed to drive them to the gala and come back. Is late, he should be here by now.” Dick says biting his lip, Jason nods and grabs his phone. Dick starts to feel that uneasiness again.

“Yeah, it doesn’t take so much time to drive from the city to here, depending on the traffic. But I don’t have any texts from him,” Jason comments and then he grabs his jaw. “Stop biting your lip, I always thought someday you will chew up your own damn lips.” Jason gives him a little grin and then he kisses him quickly. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, maybe he went to run a few errands while being in the city, he shouldn’t take long.”

“Yeah, maybe, but he didn’t mention anything,”

“Why are you so worried?” Jason asks looking a bit serious. “You are tense now and you keep saying shit time and why every second count. That doesn’t make sense. Tell me the truth.”

“What truth? I’m ok, and I’m not worried, I’m just—“

“Dickie, you can’t fool me, I know you, and I know when you are distressed about something. I know that you’re trying to forget about something too. Is about this? About what we talk about?” 

“No, Jason, isn’t about forgetting something or about that. I told you what I feel, that’s the truth, I’m not having second thoughts,” 

“Then what is it? Is it about the sorceress? I told you, Dick, you don’t have to worry about that, I will protect you, I will stop her, she can’t hurt you again,”

“Is not about that, I’m just—” They both hear a noise, a tiny noise. But the house is so quiet that it sounds more loudly that it should. Jason frowns and stands up, immediately dropping his sappy posture and getting tense, tightening his jaw. “Jay?”

“Hush,” Jason whispers, looking at the dark hall. There isn’t a single noise, not even a single one. Everything is so silent that Dick feels chills.

“Alfred?” Dick asks, Jason gets closer to him and reaches his hand, putting a finger in his lips.

“Shuu, quiet Goldie,” Jason turns his attention back at the hall. Jason looks ready to fight. Dick doesn’t, all the strength has left his body, his hands start to shake. Jason notices and turns around, giving him the softest of looks, he passes his hand over his cheek, stroking tenderly. “Don’t worry, I’m right here, we're okay. Maybe it was nothing. I’m gonna take a—”

“No, no, don’t go, please Jay, stay here. Maybe it is nothing.” Dick whispers, the desperation evident in his tone. Jason grabs his face with both hands, his face inches apart.

“Hey, okay, I’m not going. Just— let’s go to the cave, mmm-uh? Just to check the cameras. I let the sword there,” Jason whispers back, stroking with both thumbs his cheeks. Dick nods, trying so hard not to give up, is _too much_, _too many_ feelings. Jason kisses him again, just brushing his lips trying to calm him, Dick let out a shaky breath. 

“O-okay,” Dick says, Jason nods and takes his hand. Then he starts walking fast, leaving the kitchen and walking through the halls, Jason squeezes his hand tight. Everything is dark, he doesn’t remember turning off the lights. Jason notices it too, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Dick doesn’t need lights anyway, he remembers the halls by memory, he can walk thought the manor with his eyes shut. Jason too. They both walk, their footsteps the only sounds echoing in the dreadful silence of the manor. When they are about to reach the secret door to the cave, they both see a shadow. Jason immediately puts him behind him, holding a knife that Dick doesn’t know where he got it. Dick tries to see from Jason’s shoulder but then Zatanna comes out of nowhere, her expression tight. 

“Fucking hell, Zatanna! What the fuck are you doing here?” Jason growls, Dick steps out behind Jason and lets out a breath looking at her, but she immediately makes a gesture with her hand. 

“Quiet. Jason, go for the sword. _Hurry_, I can feel her, she’s here.” Zatanna says. Dick shuts his eyes. _Fuck, this is the moment_. Jason shakes his head.

“I’m not leaving him here, we both will go for the sword so that I can kill her once and for all,” Jason growls, he sounds angry, he sounds ready to fight, but Dick can hear the tremble in his voice, he’s scared. “And how the fuck did _she_ got in the house? It wasn’t supposed to be safe?”

“Jason, trust me, I’m the only one who can protect him right now. We don’t have time for this.” She yells, but Jason doesn’t move.

“I said no, I’m. Not, leaving. Him,” before Zatanna can say something else, they three can hear the clear sound of a laugh. Dick feels his hands shaking so hard that he prefers to grab Jason from behind, trying to find his voice, trying to be helpful, but he can’t open his mouth, he’s sure he will cry out loud. Zatanna says something backward and then out of nowhere a gun appears, it floats in the air for a few seconds, and then it lands on Jason’s hands.

“There’s no time, go for the sword, both of you. Now!” Before anyone can say something else, a loud crash is heard, the almost dark corridor is lighted and then pieces of furniture fly everywhere. Jason doesn’t doubt and he runs, grabbing him by the hand and making him run too, Dick doesn’t know what’s happening, when there was complete silence before, now there are sounds everywhere, like if a civil war has begun in the middle of the hall. Jason runs and never looks back, yanking him forward. Dick can hear things crashing, he can hear Zatanna’s voice speaking backward again. But at that moment Jason stops and he puts the hidden key to the hidden door, unlocking it and passing through and into the elevator to the cave.

“Jason, wait—” But when they go through the door, they don’t go inside the elevator that it was supposed to leave them into the cave, instead, they are in a big corridor, they are several doors. Jason curses and turns around. Nothing makes sense, they were on the manor, but this doesn’t look like the manor anymore.

“What the fuck?” Jason yells looking at the doors and squeezing his hand. “What the fuck is happening?”

“It’s her,” Dick whispers, fearing that she’s thinking he’s running. He promised he wouldn’t run, he needs to go to her. But Jason…

“Yeah I know, but what the hell? Where are we?”

“I don’t know,” Dick says analyzing every door. Then, he sees a door that looks familiar, somehow he knows that’s where he needs to go. “I think we should go through a door.”

“Yeah, right, and get fucking caught by her!” Jason growls putting him right beside him. “Stupid shit, I should have brought the stupid sword with me, I fucking left it in the cave! It was our only chance against her,” Jason says closing his eyes and squeezing both the gun and Dick’s hand. “Fuck, were screwed. I’m a fucking motherfu—” 

“Jason. Stop it.” Dick says grabbing his face. “This isn’t your fault, how could you have known she was coming just today?” Dick says, the words so bitter that he shallows, feeling the guilt take him over. He can feel tears going down his cheeks, this is his entire fault. “Please, stop yelling.”

“It took me so much time to find that fucking sword, to prove that I was worthy, I left you alone so many days to go after the only thing that can possibly stop her. And I’m stupid enough to leave it the cave and not bring it with me.” Jason laughs humorless. Looking him in the eyes. “I’m a fucker Dick, a stupid idiot and now—”

“This isn’t your fault, _it’s mine_,” Dick says kissing him quickly and then stepping away, moving to the door. Jason immediately follows, trying to stop him.

“What do you mean your fault? Dick?” He grabs the doorknob before Jason can say something else and then everything turns black, like if they have to go through a cloud and everything feels weird and messy. When he blinks, and he immediately hugs himself, it’s very cold. He can feel grass touching his bare feet. He looks around and he can see they are in another place; it looks like the outskirts of the city. He can hear Jason cursing but his attention is on the old house just in front of his eyes. He stays frozen, feeling goosebumps all over his body. He _knows_ where they are. He _recognizes_ that strange metal door that doesn’t fit with the old house. “Shit, where fucking are we?” Jason yells looking around and trying to recognize their whereabouts.

“I know this place,” Dick says, still looking at the door. Jason stares at him, fuming and shaken.

“Dickie?”

“I saw this place before. In my dreams,” Dick admits, trying to not look at Jason. “This is where it all happened.”

“Shit, I don’t have signal,” Jason says looking at his phone, trying to do something and not stare at him with those panicked eyes. Then he throws his phone to the floor. “Goddammit!”

“Jason, stop,” Dick mumbles getting closer and grabbing Jason’s face gently. “Look at me,” Jason growls but indeed he looks at him. His eyes say everything. Dick nods feeling the tears keep going out. “_Please_, just— just accept it.”

“Accept what?” Jason whispers back holding him thigh, he looks like a lost puppy. Dick smiles even if he’s still crying. 

“You knew this could happen, she’s too powerful. You have to let me go.”

“The fuck? Why I’m supposed to let you go? No, Dickie, I won’t—”

“Jason, please, you’re making this harder than it supposed to be, please.” Dick sobs. Jason shakes his head.

“No. I won’t. She will have to go thought me to get to you. I’m not changing my mind,” Dick nods, knowing that Jason is telling the truth, he won’t let him go. So he nods again and closes his eyes, grabbing the back of Jason’s head and crushing their lips together, tasting his owns tears on Jason's lips. It was a bittersweet kiss; like a goodbye kiss should be. He drifts away from the kiss locking his fingers on Jason’s messy hair, and then he takes a swing at Jason’s chest, taking him by surprise, Jason lets out a groan and Dick moves away, running straight to the metal door and pushing it open. “Dick! Stop! Stupid idiot—” Jason’s voice yells but he keeps running, following his memories footstep by footstep. He goes up the old stairs that squeak every time he steps on them. The place smells like moisture and dust, just like in his dreams, he feels like in a fucking nightmare, like this isn’t real. Then he arrives at the second floor and he sees the door, the door that he always feared, and its wide open. He goes inside trying to see something in the dark, but rather than see, he hears something.

“My, my, was that all necessary, Pretty Bird?” she speaks, her voice harsh. “I was starting to think you were going to break the deal.”

“I’m here,” he finds his voice. He can’t see her but his senses tell him she’s in front of him.

“That preposterous human was not letting you go, I must admit that you surprise me there, beloved. Kissing him and then punching him like that, you are malicious.” She says with a laugh. 

“Dick!” Jason's voice sounds close, Dick looks at the door, and then it closes, just when Jason was about to catch them. “Open the door you fucking bitch!” Jason screams, knocking the door and staring to kick it. “Dick! Get away from the door!” Then, bullets fly thought the door, trying to break the door hinges, and the wooden door too old to hold them. Dick closes his eyes thinking for a second that the bullets actually had hit him, but he hears a snarl, and then she’s touching him, moving him away from the door at the same time that the bullets just bump into an invisible force protecting him.

“Jason, stop!” Dick screams, feeling her clenching him from behind, her cold hands touching him. His wings feel uncomfortable against her. 

“You should tell him,” she whispers in his ear, passing a nail thought his face, Dick whimpers. “Tell him about your honorable sacrifice. Break his heart Pretty Bird. Sing for him,” 

“Dick!” Jason keeps screaming, his voice filled with desperation, he keeps hitting the door, trying to get inside. Dick wants to see him one last time, but he can’t, he doesn’t want to see his face, see his face littered with pain and betrayal, filled with sorrow. He shakes his head and she squeezes him tighter, he lets out a sob. 

“I’m sorry Jason… please. I’m sorry.”

Instead, she howls and just when the door crash down, _Dick sees everything dark._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, it had to happen like this, but everything will be fine. Im addicted to pain, yas :( 
> 
> HEY, remember that I did'nt read many comics, so this isn't based on that. I know that the weapon Jason brough is called All-Blades and I really dont know it real real story, so here I'm just making out a story okay? this is just for fun... and suffering. 
> 
> LOVE U! Thanks for being here, this story is almost is over <3


	30. Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason POV.
> 
> A quick chapter to fill some plots and see the reaction of Jason without Dick :(

The last thing Jason had seen were Dick’s terrified blue eyes, Jason had reached but I was _too late_, Dick and the sorceress had vanished in the dark. Jason stood there, dropping the gun to the floor. The silence pierced the air when just seconds ago he was yelling and Dick’s voice was saying _‘I’m sorry Jason… please. I’m sorry.’ _Now there’s nothing. The words keep lingering in the air if Jason hears carefully, hearing them makes him drop to his knees. “No, no, fuck!” he remembers he had said out loud. For a moment he feels like this is a dream, _this can’t be real_. All the events of this day felt wrong, everything had happened _so fast_. The thing he feared the most _happened_, right in front of his eyes, he had been so stupid and too slow to stop it. “Shit…” the rage doesn’t take long to roll in. Everything turns _green_. 

Jason doesn’t remember when he destroyed half of the old and dusty room. He just ends up sitting on his ass, his knuckles bleeding. He doesn’t feel pain anymore, he feels just _numb_. The scene keeps replaying on his mind over and over, Dick slipping away between his fingers like _sand_. He closes his eyes trying to wipe out those memories that make him feel fucking _wrecked_. But every time he closes his eyes he can see _him _too, _see_ his big blue eyes and _feel_ his soft lips against his own. And that’s the memory that breaks his heart over and over again. He stays there trying not to cry of rage. Red Hood doesn’t cry, he literally came back from the dead, he had a hell of a life, he’s not a fucking weepy princess. But he remembers that Jason Todd does cry. 

_He lost his heart and his favorite shirt on the same day. _

The thought almost makes him laugh, but there’s nothing funny about it. So he just leans his head against the wall, closing his eyes even if the memories knock him out without mercy, his own mind working against him, remembering what he just lose. He can feel the silent tears going down, but he doesn’t care anymore. He feels so empty, he always felt like that since he came back, but with Goldie around life seemed easier, _worthy_. Jason slaps himself slowly, trying so hard to _stop_ thinking. He hears distant noises, a rumble in the echo of the old house. Then, out of nowhere, he sees the stupid face of Tim crouching down next to him, fucking talking. 

“Jason! Are you ok?” Jason takes a few deep breaths trying to get up, _he’s vulnerable, he’s helpless_. Nobody has the right to see him like this. Jason slaps the hand that was trying to help him to get up. “Jason?” Tim whispers again, but Jason can’t allow this. He can’t cope with all this right now, he’s sure Replacement is not alone, the other bats must be there undoubtedly staring at him with disappointment because he was the _one_ who couldn’t _protect_ Dick, this is his entire fault. So instead of asking how they had found him, he uses that rage and hatred, his only defense not to crumble right now, not in front of them. 

“Get the fuck away from me!” He yells, Tim jumps slightly and moves away giving him space.

“Where is Grayson?” Damian's voice is ice cold, but just to cover his uneasiness. Jason doesn’t even pay him mind anyway.

“Jason,” Bruce's voice makes him blink and he sees better the faces of everyone, they look like clowns with their expensive suits. _Ha_, even Zatanna is there, all of them looking at him for answers he can’t give, _not now_. “What happened?” 

“Jason?” Tim whispers again, Jason lets out a hard breath, trying to look as deadly as always. “Please, we—”

“It’s fucking useless, were not getting back Dick,” he says, the words harsh and bitter. 

“Don’t say that,” Tim says sounding hurt.

“Open your eyes Replacement. Look around! She’s gone, we're never going to find him,” he yells, the rage making his worst fears go out. _The words feel wrong._

“Jason—”

“No. Stop. Shut your fucking mouth!” he yells again, he can’t control himself.

“We are going to find him,” Bruce speaks quietly, but there’s not his usual strong conviction, he sounds overpowered. “I won’t stop se—”

“That’s bullshit old man, you promised! You promised Dick was going to be safe!” Jason yells at Bruce's face. Bruce remains still, just looking at him. “You’re a fucking liar and a son of a bitch! You never keep your promises, _Batman_. I should have known better, you can’t even protect your favorite son, I can’t imagine how far beneath the podium the rest of us really are,” Bruce clenches his jaw, wisely keeping quiet. Jason wants so bad to punch him, but even in his raged state, he knows that’s useless, maybe it will give him satisfaction? _Yes_. But short-lived, the reminder of what Goldie would tell him if he pounds at Bruce throbs at him. 

“It’s not anyone fault Jason,” Tim says, trying to cool out the mood.

“You’re fucking wrong! It’s our fucking fault! Mine, yours, hers!” Jason says pointing at Zatanna. Tim is about to say something else but Jason just turns around, sick of being in the spotlight. Tim holds his sleeve and Jason moves away sharply. “Don’t touch me,” he growls. Tim raises his hands.

“Jason, please, where are you going? Were in the middle of nowhere! We need to stay together, find a way to find him! That’s what Dick would’ve—”

“Don’t finish that,” Jason says closing his eyes and opening them with a hateful expression.

“Jason, c’mon, please,” Tim whispers. Jason shakes his head and disappears from there, ignoring the tremble in his bloody hands. He just walks and walks, not going anywhere in specific, he’s just trying to divert his mind from everything. Somehow —probably hours later, he reaches one of his safe houses, _one of his oldest_, deep in Crime Alley. He just collapses on the cold and squeaky bed. Even if he feels tired, he can’t sleep. He still can feel the ghost of that kiss, the burning of Dick’s hands all over his face. He screams, he destroys almost the entire room and even then he can’t collect himself.

_____________

The days pass by and the missing calls on his phone are a constant buzz that makes him feel exasperated, so he decides to throw the phone thought the window. He spends most of the time drinking and smoking, but that doesn’t make any differences, because the taste of Dick can’t get out of his mind, it’s like a tattoo on his soul now. No matter how much Jason drowns in alcohol, the memories don’t go away. So he decides to stop fighting and just give up. He embraces the _pain_, the _sorrow_, the _guilt_. Once he mourns his pain, he doesn’t waste time and he begins to make out thousands of plans, he even considerers making a fucking deal with the devil to fucking find Dick. But who is he kidding? He has no powers, he can’t find Dick on his own, there’s no way he can do this alone. But going with the bats and step a foot in the manor is out of the question. _He can’t right now. _

He doesn’t go out to patrol either, his hands shake so much. Even if hunting some scum rat sounds appealing, he can’t focus. His mind is splinted in a lot of things, going out like that is reckless. Jason is stupid, but he’s not suicidal. He has do find Dick, no matter how much it takes him or the sacrifices he has to make. He’s willing to do _everything_, just like he promised.

_____________

One morning he’s having breakfast —_a mind eraser_, when he’s sure he hears the door, but still, he ignores the knock. He’s been sitting on the couch for a long time, he’s not even sure what day is it. He was so fucking lost on his mind that thinking about time was useless for him, the time doesn’t stop, with every second that goes by Dick is still in her claws, he doesn’t know what she’s doing to him. The mere thought makes him see green and he lunges a knife to the door, the person makes a yell of surprise.

“Jason! I know you are listening, _please_, open the door,” Tim’s voice sounds like a lost puppy, he can’t deal with him right now. “Please, we need your help, we—”

“Get out of here,” Jason yells. He feels and looks like a fucking mess. He’s sure he had grown beard, he must look like a stupid zombie with red eyes and dark circles and tousled hair. 

“You know the sorceress is working with someone?” Jason immediately shifts his attention to the door, frowning. “Zatanna didn’t elaborate much with that. She says she needs all of us so she can speak. Please, Jason, we need you in the manor,” But Jason doesn’t make a move, he feels a headache coming. This new information is like a kick in the ass, _another fucking issue to work with._ “Ok,” Tim says defeated, he’s smart enough to know when he can’t reach him. “I go, but I’m sure you would like to check this. Dick left it for you,” Jason gets up from the couch and stares at the door, observing how Tim passes a letter under. “Whenever you’re ready, drop at the manor, we really need you.” Tim disappears, his footsteps echoing in the hall. Jason stares at the latter for a good half hour until he has the courage to pick it up from the floor. He unfolds the paper with gentle moves. He recognizes the handwriting of Goldie and he closes his eyes, but he urges himself to read the fucking latter. Don’t be a _pussy_. 

_‘Hi Little Wing, I hope you’re okay, and I know that’s a stupid question, sorry, but I really hope you are. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for the way everything happened, probably you are blaming yourself and you are looking for answers that I can’t give you. But none of this is your fault, its mine alone. I lied, I wasn’t okay, I made a stupid thing and now I can’t go back time and change things. Everything has a reason, even if you can’t understand it right now. I had to make a choice that I couldn’t decline. Even if it meant hurting you, I preferred that to you being hurt for something that has nothing to do with you. _

_When you read this, I’ve gone. I don’t know where, I don’t know for how long. But I want you to know that I will be fine, I will be strong for you, I promise. Please, don’t run away, don’t shut yourself up, I’m sure the family will be affected for what I did, you need to stay together. _

_I love you, Jason, I can’t hide it anymore, you’re exactly what I was looking for, what I was waiting for. I only hope one day you can forgive me._

_Yours, Dick,’ _

Jason sits again heavily on the couch, staring at the latter in his hands. He doesn’t know what to think, he doesn’t know that to do. He has no fucking clue to what to do with all this.

_____________

Jason hadn’t wanted to go back to the manor. The mere thought of putting a foot there was still painful. Seeing Dick’s room the way he had left it, with Jason's clothes all over the place, _ouch_. But seeing that spot under the window in the stairs would only make him hurt all over again. It’s another memory tattooed to his mind. _He can’t go there._ The memories are still hunting him, still brand-new.

But one night Jason ends dreaming about Goldie, about him and his lips and his voice and Jason must remember that he’s just dreaming. Dick is not beside him sleeping, _he’s not here_. He was so used to sleeping in the same room with him that he didn’t notice how cold the nights were. He remembers that time when he asked Dick for space, since then he knew what poor sap he really was. _Now… it is worse_. Dick is not here, not in the manor either. Jason tries to stop feeling that chills and he throws the pillow to the floor, this isn’t time to think about himself and be a pitiful bastard, this is about getting Dick back, is about _trying_. 

He can’t bear the thought of never seeing him again, never see those blue eyes or see that smile. He just got the chance of kissing him, say out loud his feelings, the chance to move out and begin a new phase in his fuck up life, maybe next to him. _But now?_ Now there’s a chance of never getting him back. _What would he do without him? How did you let go of Dick Grayson? _He can’t even manage to step out of his shit hole and act like a fucking grownup would do. He’s just sitting in his ass winning around and feeling lost. He needs to put his shit _together_. Dick wanted that, he said it in the latter. Jason can almost hear him, saying some shit like, _‘Jay, don’t give up. You can do this,’_ or something similar. The hopeful bastard. 

So with that in mind, he goes to the manor, _well_, —once he looks like a human being again, or at least the best he can manage to do, he drives his motorcycle to the manor. 

He stands in front of the door for at least five minutes until he just roughly opens the door and when he’s about to step in, _he freezes_. The sight before him was something he wasn’t expecting, _oh shit_, _what the fuck?_ He had expected shouts or things throw to his head, but seeing half the living room destroyed was not. It was as if a fucking civil war had happened there. _What the heck? _Jason hears footsteps and sees Alfred, the elder man smiles a bit, like he’s relieved of seeing him again. Jason feels again that blitz of guilt because he hadn’t asked about Alfred, about why he didn’t have shown up _that day_, he feels like a complete moron. The let out a slow breath. _Jesus_.

“Master Jason, pardon me that I was not at the door to receive you. But nevertheless, I’m glad to see you here,” _oh man_, he sounds sorrowful. Jason nods trying to not feel overwhelmed again. 

“Don’t worry Alf, I still have a key. I— hmm… how are you?” he was so centered on his own misery that he hadn’t thought about them. 

“As fine as I can be young sir. Things here have been… sour, like you can see. Though if I can ask, how are you lad?” he asks, giving him a wistful look. Jason swallows and tries so hard to sound fine, not like he’s fucking wasted. But is Alfred asking, Alfred who knows everything. 

“I’m ok, I’m not the one you should worry about. We need to focus on _him_,” Jason says, feeling that well-known lump on his throat. 

“I know Master Jason, but we also need to be at our best so we can work together and bring him back,”

“What happened here? Last time I check, the living room was in one piece,” he needs to change the topic.

“A long story Master Jason, but going to the point, I suffered a plot so I could not return to the manor that night. The car just busted dumping me in the middle of the road. The signal was lost too, I could not call anyone. Hours later, luckily I was found by Master Bruce and the boys. When we arrived here we found this mess. The sorceress fought with Zatanna, as you can see. I’m afraid everything was perfectly planned sir, creepily well designed so all of us were far from here,” 

“Shit…” he just manages to say, Alfred scowls at his swear word but before he can say it he looks behind this shoulder.

“Jason?” Tim’s voice makes him turn around to see the teenager, he looks like a mess too. Jason knows that everyone must look the same.

“Hey,”

“I’m glad you came, _uh_, everyone is at the cave. Wanna come?” he says goodbye to Alfred and follows Tim, both in absolute silence. He was expecting resentment or even someone yelling at him, saying that it was his entire _fault_. But instead, Tim just looks at him with pity and Jason holds the impulse to kick his ass. He knows that even if he shaved and tried to look okay, his expression says otherwise. Once in the cave, the first thing that catches his attention is the sword, lying on a table. Jason clenches his fits, feeling that hot rage again, remembering the stupid idiot he was, and how he had left the damn thing right there. Before he can break his damn hand for the force of his grip, Bruce lays eyes on him. They both look at each other, that same resentment present again. Jason is not going to take back the things he yelled at his face. If he used to have the tiny thought about forgiving him, now is completely wipe up again. The old man is still a big fat liar. Bruce nods as if he had read his mind and turns his cold eyes back at the monitor. Jason looks around seeing Zatanna, who’s looking at a bunch of old books and papers on a table. She’s so focused on reading that she doesn’t see him, Jason prefers it that way. He can’t stand to look at her, even if he knows it is not her fault, but Jason is the kind of asshole who is bitter and unforgiving, _even with himself_. So right now he’s mad at _everyone_. Then he sees the demon spawn, who’s also looking at papers and maps, he definitely notices him but the brat doesn’t speak or meet his eyes. He seems very angry, for the way he grips the paper in his hand, but even still he doesn’t throws at him, he doesn’t say something hurtful or even looks at his direction with a mini batglare. He must be really _affected_.

“Zatanna,” Tim says quietly and she moves her eyes away from the book, meeting Jason’s eyes. If Jason was about to yell something at her, the words die in his mouth when he fully analyzes her. She looks exhausted and remorseful.

“Hey, Jason… I’m glad you are here,” he nods crossing his arms, and it might look like a wary pose for her eyes, but she doesn’t comment about it. “So now that all of you are here, we can speak,” she says, standing up from the chair. Bruce stands too, getting closer to them but not too much. Damian doesn’t get up, but his cold green eyes are on her. “Ok, I know you all are facing this in different ways. I respect every one, I know how tough this is. I know how difficult it is to pretend that everything is ok when is truly not. Dick is not here and that was our worst fear,” everyone seems to react to _his _name, like if nobody had said it out loud since that night. Jason almost growls, he’s not fucking dead, he’s… _he has to be ok._ “And I know how hard this is, I need to apologize again, maybe I will never find enough apologies for this… _I failed_, I could not protect him and now he’s gone, but we are not giving up. I will not rest until we find him. We need to have faith, Dick is out there and he needs us, he’s counting on us to bring him home,” 

“Your point is?” Damian says, he sounds cold as always, but not with his usual spoiled attitude, but more like a stressed one.

“I need to confess something,” the moment those words come out, everyone reacts, even if it is just a sharp look at her direction or a quiet growl. Bruce gets closer, the collected look failing for a moment.

“Confess what?” Bruce asks, his voice harsh.

“I knew this was going to happen,” Jason doesn’t know what happened first; if it was the demon standing and yelling at her, Tim’s curse or him grabbing the sword and getting closer to her.

“What the fuck are you saying? You knew!? You fucking knew everything and you didn’t do shit about it?” he yells. His eyes shining with fire. “Why the hell took you so long to confess that, _uh_? Why drop the bomb now that is too late?”

“Jason,” Bruce’s voice sounds like a warning, but Jason doesn’t pay him attention.

“I could not say it before, it was not the correct time. You all needed to come to terms with all this. Please, hear me out; this is important, Dick’s life—”

“Why should I listen? I could slide your throat and in the process find out if this shit works. Why should I listen when you could have stopped her from taking _him_? I don’t trust you anymore, _witch,_” Jason bites out.

“You are on your right to me be mad, to be furious at me. I understand and I know I deserve it. I’m so sorry, but please hear me out. I had a reason, I could not tell anything because Dick’s life was compromised. I could not make a move. She had won the moment all this begun,” Jason lowers the sword, still looking at her with intensity.

“Ok, you have 5 minutes to change my mind to not fucking kill you,” she gives him that look of _‘you can try’ _Of course he knows he can’t beat her, but the rage makes him stupid. 

“_Jason_,” Tim hisses without actually looking at him. “What do you mean with since the _beginning_?” Tim asks instead.

“Explain yourself,” the brat growls.

“If you want to sit, this might be hard to hear,”

“_Zatanna_,” Bruce says sharply, urging her to continue.

“Ok, a month ago, both Tim and Bruce come to me saying that Dick was acting odd, that after he found out about the threat and the killing of innocent people he had locked himself in his room for a few days —a normal reaction like you had said. But then he had walked out like if nothing had happened, so they were suspicious. Even if Dick tends to bottle up his emotions and take the weight of the world on his shoulders, that reaction was indeed odd. So I came to talk to him, see if I could help with something. Tell him about the plan Bruce and I had—”

“_Plan?_” Damian interrupts with a frown. “What are you talking about? Why I was not informed about such arrange?” 

“Zatanna and I had planned to take Dick to a safe place, where no one could find him. Not even I could know the place in the case the sorceress tried to pull the information from me, only Jason was going to be there,” Bruce says stiffly. Jason feels his jaw dropping. _Oh shit._ “Of course, now is useless,” he finishes tightening his jaw. 

“Yeah,” she says biting her lip. “Nobody would know; it was a secret plan. Well, like _I was saying_, I was about to tell him but the moment I saw him I knew something was wrong. There was this foreign aura around him, this _darkness_. So I asked him, he was trying to fool me at that moment but I had a hunch. Dick had done something that I could not take back or erase,” she explains, and Jason begins to feel anxious. “I noticed he was hiding his hand unconsciously from me. So with a bit more of attention, I could perceive the dark magic there. He could not tell me, but I already knew the deal he had made,” 

“Deal? What are you talking about?” Tim says.

“Dick made a deal with her,” she says, a troubled expression on her face. “I do not know or when, but he got out of here and meet with her,” 

“That’s impossible, the manor security has been active 24/7, there haven’t been any breach or any alarm. And Dick was never alone! Jason was _all_ the time with him,” Tim yells, that composure slipping away. Right there, the memory of that afternoon and the way Dick had asked him for space hit him suddenly. He had felt _that bad feeling_. _Oh shit_. 

“Somehow, he went out. The sorceress had everything planned, trust me, this was masterminded in a way I still can’t see. The point is, Dick meet with her. I do not how—”

“Why didn’t she took him that night? It doesn’t make sense,” Tim asks, Jason is grateful for the question because right now he can’t articulate any words. The guilt he already felt is now intensified like fuel and he’s about to _burst_. 

“Because she wanted to give him a choice, the choice between ending everything that very night or having one last month here, in his home with you,” The silence that follows is so dense that Jason feels he could grab it with his bare hand. “Clearly, Dick choose the last, so he made a deal with her; that when thirty days ended, he would give himself to her without resistance. She threatened him with killing you, Dick did not have other way, he accepted the deal, a _blood deal_,” 

“Grayson wouldn’t accept such thing,” Damian says shaking his head. “He wouldn’t do something like that, he would’ve fought her,”

“He did, Damian, he did. But he did not have a choice, or was leaving with her that very night and in the process, maybe killing you all,”

“So you knew that all this time,” Jason mumbles, barely finding his voice. He grips the sword in his hand, feeling the force of the cold handle. Zatanna looks at the sword with curious eyes. 

“Yes, I did. I could not help him, he had to fulfill the deal or he would’ve faced terrible consequences. The plan had to follow his course. So in order to know about it, I went inside his mind and I could see everything to have a bigger perspective about all,” 

“That’s all you wanted to say?” Bruce says, his tone lacking restrain. He’s been weirdly silent. “Confess you have all that information and that even us knowing it now, it doesn’t change anything at all. My son was manipulated to give his life for us, and now I have to live with that?” he grunts probably not noticing the way he changed his voice like Batman’s. 

“That’s not all,” she says looking at him with her big guilty blue eyes, but she doesn’t lower her head, she keeps it up. “At that moment, as I said, I could not do or say something, but I manage to make a plan with Dick,”

“What plan?” Bruce demands.

“I made a mental connection with him, that allowed me to see his memories, to feel everything he was feeling, and to perceive him whatever he was,” Jason feels a flow of jealousy that he can’t hide. 

“What?” he asks letting out a bit of incredulity on this tone.

“You can feel him now?” Tim asks instead, his eyes showing the little hope he still has.

“Yes and no, I cannot feel him because he’s possibly very far away and the sorceress is using the same spell to hide their whereabouts. She’s too powerful, but even with the most mighty magic there are things that one cannot erase, a strong mental connection was made and I can say he’s _ok_, is like a vibration I feel, I cannot explain it, but I feel it,” 

“So that means that eventually, you will be able to perceive him?” Bruce asks, passing a hand through his face.

“I hope so, I’m counting on _it._ But the problem is that in order to protect him in case the sorceress could perceive the connection too, I deleted the memory of my conversation with him,” everyone grunts at that. “Don’t worry; I implanted certain clues on his mind, so when he thinks about certain things some memories can return to him. Dick just needs to concentrate and sharpen his mind, _reach me_. I’m sure that he will not know either his location, but if he manages to reach me, I would be able to find him whoever he is,” 

“Shit… that— that’s good to hear,” Tim says, sitting on a chair and grabbing his hair. “So we are not completely defeated, right?” he asks with that same tone of hope. Jason tries to feel it too, but for some reason, he can’t.

“No, we're not. But even so, regardless of the mental connection, many things can come between, it was a risk that I speak with Dick, but both agree that it was the only way, our only chance,”

“So we need to… sit here and just wait?” Damian says. He hasn’t changed his expression. “Grayson has to do everything?”

“I’m sorry Damian, for now, yes, but—”

“No. I heard enough. We can afford to waste time and wait for him to do to all the hard work. I’m going to find another way,” 

“Damian,” Tim tries to stop him but Damian turns around and leaves. Bruce doesn’t say anything and just sits, intertwining both hands on his lap.

“Damian is right, I’m not going to sit here and wait for Dick to do everything by himself, and even then there’s not granting that this is going to work. We don’t know what she’s doing to him as we speak,”

“But we have a chance Bruce, we have to have faith,” Tim mumbles, taking the role of Dick, of what Dick would have said. “If there’s a tiny chance, I’m going to hold onto it, _I—_ _I don’t wanna lose him_,” Tim says with that stupid heartbreaking face. 

“Is our only chance. I know Dick, I saw that determination on his face. He’s a fighter, he’s going to do everything he can to come back to you, I can gamble on that. Meanwhile, we can try to find out who she’s working with, we can keep checking places with high scraps of magic and start from there too. I can’t find her, but I can find Dick, I know I can. Besides we have an advantage, that sword that Jason bring with him, that is something in our favor, something she is not expecting,” 

“So is authentic?” Jason asks and Zatanna nods, smiling a bit. 

“It is, I can feel it. It’s amazing you could found it, Jason, I’m sure the sword chose you to be the bearer. It speaks very highly of you. Luckily, we will see how that sword can fit in defeating her once and for all when the time comes.” 

“Ok, we will start from there. We need all the help he can manage,” Bruce says getting up and taking him with the papers and maps that Damian was reading before. 

“Don’t worry, we will get it,” Tim says getting up too and grabbing his laptop. “I know what we can do to increase our signal to find high levels of magic, with the help of Zatanna we can make a scanner, I was working on something like that, look…” The three of them begin to check whatever Tim was talking about, sharing thoughts and ideas. Jason just stands there, feeling out of place. He doesn’t fit here. _He’s not like them._ He feels so overwhelmed, now all the answers he was waiting for are stumbling and making him confused and fatigued. There’s so much right now, so much to deal with. And certainly, he can’t deal it in here, not anymore. So he lets the sword on the table and takes his keys.

“Jason, aren’t you staying? We could use another pair of eyes,” Tim admits looking at him with hopeful eyes, but Jason doesn’t even meet his eyes.

“I have to go,”

He just walks out and he doesn’t even say goodbye to Alfred. He can’t pretend to be strong right now. He needs to be alone, he needs to not get in the way there. They are going to find Dick. Jason is _just_ a man; he can’t read minds or take out a rabbit of a hat. They don’t need him right now; they need Zatanna, _their only hope to find him. _Jason ends up on the top of a roof in the middle of the city with only his helmet beside him. He draws a cigarette to his mouth, staring at the smoke fading in the air. _Shit, _the way he misses Goldie seems like a nonstop weight that is crushing him. _Please, come back to me soon, _Jason almost pleads at the sky. He’s not sure if he could come back at all if he lost him. The answer is still being _no._

_“Now the day bleeds  
Into nightfall  
And you're not here  
To get me through it all  
I let my guard down  
And then you pulled the rug  
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is ok! <3 
> 
> yeah yeah, im a sucker for sad chapers, i know. sorry not sorry again.  
The song Someone You Loved fits so well, so sad by the way...


	31. Monsieur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick POV. 
> 
> A quick chapter about Dick meeting the man with who the sorceress works.

When Dick starts to wake up the first thing he feels is dizziness, everything seems to be spinning around. He squeezes his closed eyes putting his face against the floor again. The second thing he feels is the urge to throw up and Dick makes a noise of distress. Once his belly isn’t twirling he manages to calm a bit. His instincts kick in and he tries to figure out what's going on around him, but his ears seem to be ringing so he can only pick out far-off babble but mostly his own rasping breath. As far as he can tell, he’s not missing any limb, but he releases a grunt anyway because he is a bit sore. Another thing he notices is that there isn’t any rope restraining him, he doesn’t even feel clothes on him, instead, he feels coolness all over his body, so he reflexively wraps his wings around him, looking for warmth. A few minutes pass by but then the realization that he isn’t wearing clothes makes him jump and he whines when his head begins to throb. He shudders trying not to panic… _ok, ok, relax._

When he feels less groggy he blinks trying to see what he’s dealing with. The first thing he focuses is on his body, seeing that he’s only wearing his boxers. Ok, might be worse. He sits with a bit of effort and wraps his wings around him again shielding himself. That is when Dick looks around and he must blink several times —_this is a bathroom?_ He was expecting a torture chamber, a fairly cabin or some dark besetment or even another dusty old room in the middle of nowhere. But a bathroom? The more Dick blinks the more shocked he feels. _What—?_ I mean, Dick is certainly used to places like this; he has been in a lot of fancy and expensive places. He is currently living in the manor, but this? This bathroom is almost as big as his entire flat in Blud, for crying out loud! Everything looks extravagant and luxurious, everything is white with little touches of gold.

_He has a brief recall of this._

Dick stands up stumbling a bit and he holds into a leather bench and he wonders why he wasn’t laying there. Dick begins to explore all; he spots in the center of the room a pair of Corinthian style columns with gold bases attached to a painted circular ceiling with a candlestick hanging in the middle; all that over a bathtub at the center. The more he examines around, the more he really thinks there’s actual gold attached to the decoration. There are also two vanity countertops at each side of the room, each with candelabras wall lamps, he finds a few flower pots with white tulips resting there, Dick gulps and walks over the porcelain tiles to the mirror looking into his eyes. 

He feels really vulnerable right now. He’s almost naked in a fancy room with no weapons, any advantage or any strategy to work with. He takes a deep breath and holds into the countertop. _Ok, don’t freak out_. Dick has been thought a lot of troublesome challenges in his life. He has to be smart because he can’t surrender to her, he has to find a way to come back to his family. So Dick begins to search in the countertops drawers, looking for something sharp or even some scissors, anything at all. He only finds products of personal care, things of a bathroom, clearly. He growls and begins to search in the top drawers. Shamefully he has to stand on his tiptoes to look better. 

“If a weapon is what you are looking for, right there on your left is a razor, you can try to pierce my neck.” her voice makes him flinch and turn around to look at her. “But if you ask me, I would certainly suggest you use to your greatest weapon.”

“And that is?” he asks moving to the fairest corner, trying to put distance between them. Dick doesn’t feel comfortable, but even then he still looks into her icy green eyes. She smirks getting closer.

“Your wings, beloved. You do not still see the greater arsenal you have right there.” Dick trembles when she moves so much closer so he instinctively wraps his wings around him trying to cover himself from her sharp eyes. “Yes. Right there. Do you not see?” she points out to his primary feathers with an arrogant smirk. “Those feathers are like knives. The muscles are powerful enough to fly. And you, the simple-minded you are, cover them under your clothes. They are your greater weapon and yet, you are still too blind to see.” 

“If you’re suggesting me to stab you with my feathers, let me tell you that’s a pretty good idea,” he says with a sharp smile.

“I like to see you trying,” she whispers staring him up and down. Dick feels displeased with the burn of that stare. “Well? Why you are still standing there? If I left you in a washroom, it means you must wash. Unless… you want me to watch?” Dick trembles again at hearing her laugh. 

“N-no—” he begins to say and she hushes him right away.

“Then move your irritating butt and begin scrubbing. You look disheveled and unkempt. We do not have all day long beloved,” she says clasping her hands together. “There places you must be.” 

“Where I’m? What is this place?” he demands, and then the memory of his dreams suddenly hits him. This is the mansion he saw, the one she make him see for weeks. “You showed me this place in my nightmares…”

“I did, right?” she says with an amused grin. “But it was not a nightmare. I showed you cristal clear what was going to bo your future. And to be honest you were the one adding all the drama. You really thought I teleport by green portals? Of what movie do you think I came from? Do not try to delay the inevitable. _Move or I will make you_.” she threats with a cold expression. Dick tries to think about something but right now he doesn’t have many options.

“I thought you will know by now that I’m not a disciplined guy, I’m not going to do anything you tell me to do, witch,” he says crossing his arms and ignoring the little blush on his cheeks. Did he really had invented all that? _No, impossible. _

“Ok smart ass, I am letting this go only because the Monsieur yearns for seeing you. For now, this entire act is funny, this kind of defiance is what I was expecting from you, it amuses me. But the moment I find it boring I will take care of it. You will learn your place here, beloved.”

“Stop calling me beloved, sounds like you care.” Dick spites ignoring her words again even if the message is clear and loud. He needs to shut his mouth if he expects to last here.

“What do you want me to call you? _Dick?_ That atrocious name is now in the past, like the rest of what you used to be. I am going to call you whatever I want, but if beloved is not of your preference I would call you... my pet.”

“What? No— I’m not a stupid pet!” he hisses.

“Last time I checked I do not care about your opinion. You are mine. Refusing to that it would only make things worse for you, but if you insist I would gladly teach you manners my pet.” She says with irritation, her eyes glinting green.

“I’m not a pet! Stop calling me like that, it is degrading and stupid.” He growls feeling his feathers ruffle. She grins spitefully at him and gets closer again. 

“The moment you rubbed your palm with mine you sealed a deal. I told you before, Nightwing, you are just a doll, and in this place you do not have any rights. You do as I say when I say it.”

“No!” he yells feeling angry and humiliated. “The deal was only about when those thirty days ended and that I wasn’t going to resist you. I didn’t agree to such thing as being you slave! Don’t think for a moment that I’m going to make it easy for you.”

“Marvelous,” she says with a winning smile. “I was not expecting less, _pet_. I am eager to tame you, I am going to tear you apart piece by piece until you become nothing but a puppet. Eventually, you will come to terms with this. Now, bath,”

She doesn’t say anything else and disappears from the room. Dick feels rage and he yells. He feels tears of despair and he wipes them angrily. He won’t cry in front of her, _no_, he is prideful. He won’t be beaten into submission. He is Nightwing, he is Dick Grayson. He will fight and not make things easier for her and whatever that prink she is working with. He sits on the porcelain floor, hugging himself and just staring at the door. He doesn’t want to obey, but he knows that for now maybe it is the best strategy he can make. For now, he needs to wait, make an escape plan, and trust that his family is searching for him. The mere thought hurts and Dick closes his eyes. _No, he can’t think that right now_. He needs to play his cards and see what this is about, see what he’s facing. 

So with that on mind, he finally takes a bath, the quickies of his life, to be honest. He fears that she will open the door at any second, so he just showers and he can’t help the pleased sound at the hot water around his body. He grabs an elegant bottle of shampoo and he soaps his hair and wings doing a fast job. Once he’s clean enough he looks for a towel and finds one folded. He drains himself and he puts the towel around his waist feeling ashamed because obviously he doesn’t have any clothing with him. He curses and then he walks to one of the countertops seeing that there’s something folded there. He grabs it and sees that it is a white trouser —_Seriously?_ _Everything has to be white?—_ And a pair of boxers too. He puts them on and then the trouser, feeling even more ashamed because he feels still really exposed. There’s nothing else for him. Just the trouser and that is all. He’s supposed to walk around like this? 

He hears the door and he shudders when she walks back in to inspect him with a detailed look.

“Turn around,” she demands and Dick tightest his jaw but he anyway turns, folding his wings to that they are covering his naked back. She giggles and Dick turns around again frowning. “Mmm, you look appealing. Just the way I wanted you to look. Follow me.” She walks out of the door and Dick closes his eyes trying so hard to cool out and no start hissing. He has to be smart, but for some reason, he’s afraid of following her. “Pet, I do not like repeating myself. Follow me.”

“Where are you taking me?” he demands crossing his arms around his middle.

“As I said before, you are in no position to ask anything. Just _move_.”

“No, I need—” he begins to say but she grabs his arm roughly digging her nails on his skin. Dick grunts and tries to move his arm away but she tightens harder.

“Ok Nightwing, I was going to make you stretch your legs but if you insist on making this difficult, _fine_.” In seconds everything turns black again and Dick feels the same dizziness and sickness. When he blinks he feels the impact of his body on the floor. Dick stands and grabs the closest thing for support. Dick opens his eyes looking for her and then he closes them again. There’s so much light, his eyes feel teary.

“Where are we?” he asks leaning his back against what it seems a wall. He looks around seeing that they are in a big enlightened room, the more he blinks the more he notices is actually a cathedral-style sunroom. Dick moves to the further wall stumbling with a few plants on his way. Once he’s the fairest from her he scans the sunroom more closely. Nearest to him there’s a round white marble table with two knocker back chairs well covered with luxury velvet, on top of the table there are two teacups and a steaming tea kettle in the middle. In the core of the room, there’s one big white sofa with a marble coffee table too, there are a few decorative plants distributed around the sunroom. Dick feels his feet cool and when he looks down he notes a checkerboard floor in a soft color. Dick has to admit this room is _shocking_. There’s really a lot of light entering because of the transparent ceiling and walls and that also allows him an unobstructed view outside of this prison. He focuses now his attention on the other side of the glass and he stares at the trees and the fauna out there. A forest, _of course it had to be_. He touches the glass-wall with his trembling hand. I looks bulletproof, maybe soundproof too. _But who cares?_ He’s in the middle of nowhere anyway. Nobody is going to hear him, nobody knows he’s here. He glimpses his own reflection in the glass and he takes a deep breath. He turns around to face her.

“You finished looking around?” she asks playing with a dagga, Dick remembers seeing that same dagga the night he made the deal with her, his hand stings just with the memory of it. _Is something she keeps close, maybe? _“Is stunning, isn’t?”

“Why you bring me here?”

“It is one of Monsieur’s favorite places. He says he feels more in touch with nature, so I am bringing his new doll here so he can say if you are worth all the work I put on bringing you here. He decides if you are pleasant enough to stay.”

“Hmm, so like I had assumed you’re the second here. You don’t make the rules; you just follow them like a servant.” The moment that words come out, the cups on the table explode crushing in pieces. Dick jumps and steps aside gulping. _Ok, bad idea._ He looks at his arm hoping that any piece hasn’t cut his skin but luckily no, he just sees a purple bruise along with the pinch of her nails from her brutish hold before. 

“I must admit you are especially good at provoking people. I assume you have plenty of experience in the area of being a jerk. Too bad I cannot hurt you like I hankering to do it. But I am counting that at the moment _he _catches a glimpse of what you truly are, he will dispose you like garbage and be sure I will be one who carries that out.” Dick decides to keep quiet and he nods. He’s sure she will keep her promise of making his life a hell. So Dick fights the impulse of scream at her and he just sits in one of the nice chairs. “Well thought _pet_, now stay there and look pretty.” She utters getting closer to the door, but then she turns around with a vicious grin. “A little piece of advice Nightwing; if you dare to be troublesome in front of him, he will be disappointed with you. So that will mean he will grant me the satisfaction of taming you as I suggested since the beginning to him. So indulge me and _don’t behave_.” 

With that, she slams the door really hard. Dick can’t help but tremble and he hisses feeling all that rage waiting to go out. He’s been an expert on pushing it down since he arrived at the manor, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have that impulses. He is just good at blotting them really deep. He takes back his eyes to the table and he sees that the two teacups are in one piece. He lets out a dry chuckle and stands grabbing the chair and throwing it to the wall-glass. Of course that doesn’t make any damage but he gets the satisfaction of breaking something. So he destroys the other chair too and the two teacups again. Once he breaks everything he can he sits heavily leaning on the wall. Waiting is the worst kind of torture, Dick decides while the minutes fly away. Dick feels the time moving around him and he can’t do anything but sit there. _Cool out,_ Dick repeats himself over and over. He needs to stay calm and keep quiet just for now. Just wait. _So he just waits. _A moment after he notices that the chairs and teacups are perfectly good, he just closes his eyes leaning his head against the wall too. He meditates, he plans some scape ideas just to feel a bit less vulnerable. He waits and waits for what it looks like hours when he eventually hears noises approaching behind the door. 

He stands up putting his wings at his side’s feelings his feathers ruffle again. He looks carefully at the person getting in the sunroom; a man walks in moving towards him. Dick frowns puzzled looking at him. _What?_ The person is wearing a designer black suit with the buttons a bit open. He looks middle-aged and he has brown hair with an elegant hairstyle. His way of walking shows security and confidence in every step. His body language screams a smug attitude. And yet, when the man stands a few meters away from him he has a huge smile on his face, isn’t a devil grin, is an actual smile. Dick looks at him with a baffled expression. For some reason he feels worried, there’s something threatening regarding him that makes Dick shudder. This man isn't what he was expecting, he had expected an ugly and big man or even a madman with a white beard or something. But a man like that? _Not at all._ But Dick's brain remembers him that he shouldn't take him for granted. If the sorceress is working with someone like him it had to be a reason, right? Maybe he is a magician? 

“You know? There's nothing more frightening than having a dream come true. You are just the way M warned me you were going to be. However, seeing you here… you are but so much beautiful.” he says with a pleased sound. Dick stays frozen in his place. The man laughs and isn’t an actual malicious laugh, it sounds cordial. She sorceress appears from behind him with a bleak expression. The man steps right in front of him, expectant. Dick clears his throat trying to say something but he feels incredulous looking at the man. “Pardon me, I didn’t present myself yet, terrible manners,” the man takes the last steps to be way too close for his liking but Dick anyway looks up at him, he assures to keep his head up making eye contact the whole time. “My name is Nathaniel Giorgiana. It is nice to finally meet you, Richard Grayson. You have no idea how long I been waiting for this.” The man extends his hand, Dick looks the extended palm and then looks up to his face again. 

“Waiting?” he manages to say ignoring the offering hand. Dick is not going to be kind, _nop._ He can feel all that anger just thinking that this is the man who planned all _this_, the culprit from everything burdensome that’s been happening since that night at the warehouse. “You been waiting for me to be kidnaped and brought here forcefully. _Poor you_.” 

“Yes, you had no idea how long I been waiting, Richard,” Nathaniel says not looking at all affected by his words or the neglected handshake; instead he is staring at him with something vigorous on his hazel eyes. “I wish things would have been much easier but gladly things turned up flawlessly in the end and that’s all that matters. I imagine you have a lot of questions, with pleasure we can have a little chat. But first let me contemplate you.” 

“Step away,” Dick hisses taking a step back. The man snickers at him.

“Richard, I’m not going to hurt you. If I wanted to harm you, you wouldn’t be here standing in front of me. Quite the contrary, I don’t plan to hurt you in any way as long as you let me check you.”

“I don't trust you, and besides why will you want to ‘_check me’_? I’m not—” Dick says but the man lifts his finger cutting him off.

“Because I need to see you more thoughtfully. I need to see those blue eyes and acknowledge if you are what I was looking for.” He says with a tiny smile, Dick feels his belly twisting. 

“And what are you looking for?” he asks trying to make time but Nathaniel just shakes his head with a funny gesture.

“C’mon Richard, I won’t take long. Once I finish you can have some of the answers you were craving for.” Before Dick can ask something else Nathaniel grabs his arm swiftly and Dick stumbles a bit taken by surprise, so he instinctively puts in attack mode throwing a kick to the shin but his leg just touches nothing but air. Nathaniel grabs his jaw gently taking his attention back at him. “I can see your training kicking in automatically. Marvelous, isn’t _M_?”

“Yes, marvelous.” She mocks stepping closer to them. Dick ignores her sharp eyes and focuses on the man grabbing his face.

“That wasn’t nice Richard. You need to listen to me better. As I said, I’m not planning to hurt you.” He says tiling his head to side to side, analyzing every feature of his face, apparently. Dick closes his eyes feeling frustrated at not being able to do anything but just be treated like a doll. “Quite the contrary, I’m planning to give you the entire world if you wind up being the one.”

“The one?” he whispers shivering when he feels his hot breath very close. He opens his eyes staring back at him with a confused expression. Nathaniel nods and passes a finger through his cheek, Dick moves his head backward but the man just grabs the back of his head. 

“You have many scars, your body looks like the one of a warrior. _Impressive_. You aren't just a pretty face, you know how to put on a show, uh?”

“Yeah, and I know how to remove an unwanted person when he's crossing the line.”

“Shuu, don’t resist. We’re almost there.” The man looks into his eyes one last time, Dick feels exposed in a way he hadn’t feel in a long time. It is like the man is staring into his damn very soul. Dick stares at him back trying to send all his resentment. Nathaniel nods with a fulfilled smile and Dick feels chills when he feels the hand of the man leaving the back of his head and begin trailing his fingers through his neck and shoulder, then the same hand moves and brushes his right-wing so Dick reacts quickly and uses his hand to firmly bat the others hand off his skin. The man grunts and then the sorceress is there grabbing Dick by the hair and pulling him away, Dick grunts too for the force of the grip. “M! You don’t have to be so rude; Richard here is just reacting the way he was trained to act.” 

“I told you; this human is not disciplined. He is too unpredictable, too wild. I told you I could have tamed him first for you.”

“_No, no_. This fire in his eyes is what I wanted. I didn’t want a compliant puppet. This you are seeing is exactly what I was seeking.” She growls but lets him go. Dick lets out a little whimper. For a moment Dick thought she was going to tear off his hair. Dick looks up into his hazel eyes again recalling the words he just said.

“I’m not—” Dick can’t finish because she speaks again.

“Are you certain?” the sorceress asks the man while circling them with a troubled expression. “Yes, he is a tiny bit interesting if I have to admit it but I see this boy and I do not see that strength you are looking for. I do not see him being worthy. He is just a good looking boy with a smart mouth that pretends to be a hero.”

“Sometimes the best things require time. What use would be a tamed doll like before? That didn’t work, _no_, I need this fire. I can see it in your eyes, Richard,” Nathaniel says speaking at him now. “Your eyes tell me everything. I have finally found you. _My angel_.”

“I’m not yours or hers and certainly I’m not an angel,” Dick growls feeling his feathers ruffle all over again. “I’m not going to be _tamed_, you can try whatever you want, but listen carefully… you are never going to turn me on your pawn.” 

“Are you certain of that?” the sorceress asks slowly. “You have no idea what I am capable of. If we do this on my way, you would definitely submit to me.” 

“I don’t want to be obligated to resort to that _yet, _M. Like I said before Richard I’m not here to be your enemy or your torturer. I want to give you every—”

“If you want to give everything then just let me go!” he screams getting closer to the man. “I don’t know what you think you saw on me but I bet you I’m not what you’re looking for. I’m never going to make this easy, I’m never going to stop fighting. You better kill me now if you expect that from me.”

“Maybe not execute you… but what about your precious family?” the sorceress asks with a winning smile. Dick feels the blood leaving his face and he drops all act of defiance. Nathaniel hums sitting on the elegant chair and pouring himself tea with a calm expression. “Are you willing to put their lives at risk just because you are stubborn enough of following a few commands? You better think it twice because nothing can stop me if at this moment I decide to end them.”

“N-no—” Dick manages to say feeling all the adrenaline leave his body.

“I didn’t want to resort to that unfortunate curse of events, but if you don’t cooperate I will be obligated to take that course. I waited so long for this moment Richard, I won’t quit with you.” Nathaniel comments taking a sip of the steaming cup. “It will be a pity? Yes. It would break you? Yes. But if is the only way I can convince you to listen to me… _well_, some sacrifices must be done then.”

“What do you want me to do?” he whispers sounding vulnerable and defeated. Nathaniel smiles happily making a gesture with his hand.

“For now I just need you to sit and take tea with me. We can have a little quid pro quo.” Dick nods and walks to the chair sitting heavily. Nathaniel pours tea on the other cup and instructs him to drink. Dick takes the cup feeling his hand shake a little, if the man notices too he doesn’t comment. “Excellent. Now that finally, we can chat calmly I would like to say first that I’m really grateful for having you here. Thanks for being willing to cooperate; hopefully we can make an arrangement of the way things are going to be from now on.”

“Arrangement?” Dick asks smelling the tea discreetly hoping it is nothing poisonous; it has a floral scent so Dick takes a sip of the tea knowing that’s what the man wants. The taste is soft but a bit bitter almost like green tea but Dick suspects is something else. 

“What'd you think of? Maybe you aren’t familiar with the brew, is Tieguanyin. The tea is named after the Chinese Goddess of Mercy Guanyin.” Nathaniel explains with a cheerful expression. Dick nods not all interested, he wants answers right now. “I hope you like it, I—” 

“What arrangement do you have in mind?” Dick insists again, Nathaniel lets out a tiny sign and leaves his cup on the table, Dick does the same with a careful expression.

“_Well_, perhaps we can make a little deal.” He says with a joyful smile. “If you behave, I will answer every day one question you have on your little pretty head, in return I would make you a question too. Like a said, _quid pro quo_.”

“You own me answers,” Dick claims looking at him with disbelief. “I don’t have to make a deal to earn that! It is not fair! We are not friends and we will never be. You have me here, what else do you want from me?”

“As I said, you need to come to terms with the way everything is going to be. You belong to me, all of you. I’m giving you the opportunity to answer all your doubts, to know why you are here, _why I choose you_. In return, you only need to behave. _Otherwise_, I will be forced to use more drastic methods and perhaps killing your family in the process. You give me no other choice Richard. I don’t want to do that but if you don’t cooperate things will be ugly. I thought that with giving you that whole month you were going to be more grateful.” 

“You leave them out of this!” Dick ignores the last with a pointed finger at his direction, Nathaniel chuckles moving his finger away. 

“Are you going to behave? If you do, everything is going to be ok. If you hear me and do as I say, they will be no needing for such drastic actions. We are clear?”

“Fine,” _shit, what else he could do? _There’s no other way out of this… he can’t have his family being hurt, not after all.

“Wonderful, you earn a question for today. Choose wisely.” the man grins drinking calmly his tea again. 

“Why did you give me these wings? Why I’m here?” Dick inquires right away.

“To answer your question you need to know a little about me; for my whole life I knew I had a purpose on this earth. Something beyond what closed minds couldn’t see. Something happened to me when I was young that changed everything, the knowledge of magic and mystery came to me in a rather strange way. I don’t want to dwell too much down my memory lane, so going to the point of your question; I believe in angels Richard, simply like that. I knew I had to find them, seek answers and be able to prove their existence. I couldn’t rest until I saw one more time that beauty and grace just for myself. I want to be honest with you,” he explains and Dick blinks several times because, _what the heck?_ “You aren’t the first man I brought here.” 

“What?”

“I brought many more before you; they were right in your place. And you know what? None where like you,” Nathaniel extends his hand brushing his cheek. Dick tries to not move and he just stares with wariness at him. “None could bear the wings, they absorbed the life of everyone killing them within a few months. But you… you proved what you truly are. You are precisely what I saw that day, that angel I yearned for so many years. I wasn’t just looking for someone beautiful, many were so beautiful. But beauty can be _corrupted. _I needed someone pure of heart, someone purely good and kind. But I can count with a single hand the number of people who is truly good. It took me years but I finally found you, Richard Grayson. You are that angel. That’s your answer, maybe you didn’t foretell it before, but you were already an angel just without the wings. I just commanded to bring them out.” 

“You’re insane.” He says with a giggle of distress. Oh shit, a sorceress and now a crazy man obsessed with angels? _This is not good. _“You can’t possibly believe I’m such thing! You are crazy, you have serious issues. I can’t believe that is the reason why I’m here, the reason why you ruined my life and the life of my family! All of this just because some crazy bastard has an obsession with angels? Oh my god, you can be fucking serious! I have been dealing with sick people since I had 9 years old and I been living in Gotham for many years to be used to people like you. But angels, _angels!”_ he ends up raising his voice. And then he can’t help but laugh, that’s it, he lost his fucking shit. 

“You think I’m crazy,” Nathaniel states serenity. He looks at him with the same expression but there’s something dangerous burning on his hazel eyes. “Everyone thought I was crazy too.” He comments with a bitter smile. “They mock at me for years when I made my research about angels being among us. I went away for many years, perhaps for a moment I thought I was crazy too. But in that precise moment the destiny showed me I wasn’t crazy, it showed me I was right. I had found my savior, my muse.” He says with a real smile on his face. He extends his hand pointing to the sorceress and she approaches getting behind him and putting her hands on his shoulders. Dick can see the fondness on his voice. Damn, _they are a thing? _“She illuminated my path. She believed in me since the beginning and even if she didn’t share my goals, she has been with me ever since without questions asked. I don’t expect you to believe me. Soon enough I’m going to show you and the rest of the world I’m not crazy.” 

“You aren’t going to change my mind, I will _behave_,” he says harshly. “But don’t think I’m going to fall from all this show. I know there’s something more, I can’t possibly believe that is all your purpose on giving me wings. You are really crazy! I’m not going to pretend to be an angel for you. You need a—”

“Richard,” he interrupts with a serious tone, Dick shut up and looks at him. The change in his eyes happens in seconds, the calm expression slipping away and being replaced for something else, something dark. “I’m going to make you a believer. I would show you the truth and show you who you truly are. Not Nightwing, not Dick Grayson. That’s in the past now.”

“How—?” he barely speaks when the man makes him hush.

“I know everything I need to know about you. Your whole life and your whole secret life too. Imagine how powerful that information is. I have the power to share it or keep it. That depends on you.” Dick closes his mouth feeling real anxiety for knowing that this crazy pair of nuts are aware of his secret identity. That messed everything deeper. “Now that I answered your question is my turn to inquire you something. Why would you surrender without thinking just for your so-called ‘_family_’?” 

“You can be serious. Are you really asking me that?” Dick can believe him, _what kind of person asks that_

“They aren’t your true family; your real family was murdered. A bad man killed them because—”

“Don’t speak of my parents.” He demands with a cold voice. “You have no right to speak about them or either about my family. Just because you are a crazy and coldhearted person that mean everyone is like you. I understand why nobody believed in you. I can see the craziness in your eyes, you freak.” Dick just has a few seconds to catch sight of the way his hazel eyes change from calm to thunderstorm and then he feels a slap so hard that turns his head to the side. Dick can’t even process what just happened when he feels a strong grip on his jaw.

“Oh Richard, I hate to do this but I can’t let you speak to me like that. I own you, _little angel_, you need to settle that in your mind once and for all. _Maeve_, please make him remember that _permanently_.”

“With pleasure.”

She purrs grabbing his neck and Dick can’t even think of something before she abruptly makes him stand and teleport them to another room. Dick just closes his eyes feeling the world turning upside down again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? If you have any question gladly I will answer. 
> 
> PD: NO, he is not a magician like her. He is human.  
PD2: I edited this instead of sleeping so sorry for the mistakes and if is weird in some way? Just tell me if you understand what happened here 😂


	32. Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason's POV.  
A quick chapter to know a little about the Batfamily without Dick :( 
> 
> Note: The perspective of Jason and the batfam will be a bit more sparse and Dick's will be more of day by day ;)

‘Jason squints his eyes feeling his skin boiling, everything in him is boiling. Hot breath against his face, hot fingers running down his jaw and hair, soft little sounds that left him feverish. _He can’t stop… he needs— _

_“Jason,” _that voice, that smooth voice that makes him rise to the sky but also screws him over and over. _“Little Wing, relax. Is okay.” _No, nothing is ok. Jason can barely breathe, somehow everything is wrong. He knows something is escaping him, he should be aware of something. But he can’t open his eyes, he can only concentrate on feeling Dick so tangled up against him. 

_“Dick… this— what are you doing here? I thought—” _Dick brushes his lips with his hushing him.

_“Just kiss me, Jason. I don’t have much time left.” _Jason knows he should ask why, he knows this doesn’t seem real; and yet, he kisses him back. Gasping breath, teeth pulling softly skin, he intertwines his fingers through Dick soft locks and he nips at his lips with eager, craving for his touch.

_“This is real? You’re really here with me?”_ he has to ask because he won’t bear to let him go again.

_“I’m always here with you. Whatever you call for me I’m going to listen. I’m on reach.” _Jason opens his eyes looking into the deepest blue eyes he had ever seen and he feels his heart crumbling.

_“Don’t go— please.” _Jason pleads and Dick touches his cheek tenderly.

_“I have to… you have to let me go. But you will find me, Jason.” _And then he’s gone, again and again: an endless nightmare that shatters his heart.’ 

Jason wakes up feeling little drops of sweat going down his temple so he takes them off sharply with the back his hand. He takes a moment to wake up fully and he can’t help but touch his lips, the ghost of the dream still there lingering in the air. He’s breathless, he’s cold and hot all over. He shuts his eyes feeling the little temblors on his hands. _It was just a dream. Just forget it._ He stands up and goes to the bathroom and wets his face_. Out, those fake memories need to be out. _Dreaming is a misery; his mind is just creating different ways to fuck him up even more. He lights up a cigarette and smocks near the open window by pure habit. _Shit_, that dream felt so real. Jason can’t help but wonder what could have happened if he had run away with Goldie. _Things would have been different? Things would have been worse? _He likes to martyrize himself with those endless ‘_what if’_. There’s nothing worse than thinking about _what if…_

It’s been three and a half weeks since the night Dick was taken. Even if there has been progressing with the bats and the magician on building that scanner of magic, so far nothing useful. Just a few places where the levels of magic have been high but nothing that could lead us to her or Dick. Noting so far on the underworld too. Waiting and waiting is so frustrating and worse not being able to do shit about it. Everyone keeps saying, _‘We are going to find him.’ ‘Don’t worry, soon’ _But he knows better than trust in false hopes. Hope is a dangerous thing; he had never let himself be caught on it. Hope had killed more hearts that sorrow. There’s nothing worse than being crushed by the weight of hope. So Jason keeps away from it and he focuses on other things. He’s been patrolling for more hours; a rumor on the streets that Red Hood is being so much ruthless is keeping the criminals on alert, deciding that, for now, it is not worth making him angry. That makes him angrier. He needs to keep his head on something, on beating the shit out of someone. Quietness is so hard, he can’t just sit and wait for the world to change… wait for Dick to come back. _No, he can’t wait._

_____________

Jason is on top of a building, _what time is it?_ He has no idea. He hadn’t gone back to his safe house, he didn’t want to go to sleep either. He hadn’t even considered it, that place didn’t felt like a house anymore. He’s been all night here sitting, seeing the city breath and move, waiting for the sunrise to warm him a bit. Is freaking cold out here so Jason just extinguishes his cigarette on the concrete, rubbing his cool hands together. He had taken off his gloves, and he wonders why he did it. He can see now little glimpses of sunlight peeking behind the skyscrapers and big towers. It won’t take long to rise up. He’s been hearing sad music too. _What a genius._

He hears noises and he recognizes the sound of the footsteps, the person is making loud sounds so he can hear him approaching and Jason somehow appreciate the gesture. 

“Hey, Hood,” Tim’s voice sounds tired so Jason makes him a gesture to sit and Red Robin sits beside him without a second thought.

“Is fucking 5 am or something, what the fuck are you doing out?” Jason can’t help with the sharp tone. The Replacement never sleeps the proper hours that a teenager should, _and now?_ It seems like he’s a fucking walking zombie. 

“Actually, it is 06:14 am and I couldn’t sleep,” Tim admits taking off his cowl and brushing his hair away. “I found some thugs trying to sell a teddy bear full of dynamite to a guy. The city is shit crazy,” he says with a dry chuckle. “What are you doing up?” 

“You know, ain’t no rest for the wicked.”

“Yeah, true. But I hear some guys saying that Red Hood was being more rouge that usual. Are you ok?”

“Fuck off, I’m not here to speak about that. If you want to ask something it better be something useful. The magician hadn’t found anything? Some vibe or whatever?”

“Nothing so far, nothing that can lead us to him, yet,” Tim says giving him a side look. “But I’m certain sooner or later she is going to find him, I’m almost—”

“Don’t.” Jason shakes his head. “Don’t have high hopes kid, that only makes things worse.”

“What I’m supposed to do?” Tim says harshly so Jason looks at him. “I’m not so vigorous like you or Bruce to ward off my emotions and keep them down. I just can’t Jason.”

“Assuming that the old man has emotions in the first place is fucking daring, coming from you.” Tim actually smiles a bit shaking his head. Jason ignores the word vigorous; he is not that vigorous anymore with his emotions. 

“I actually hadn’t seen him lately, he’s been in the cave or in his office or in someplace. Things in the manor have been… difficult.” 

“Yeah, I figure.”

“I hadn’t realized how silent the manor truly was, you know? I guess I was so used to having him there that I didn’t remember what silence was. Dick was so loud all the time, if he wasn’t laughing he was singing or something like that. Now I understand why he has always making noise, to drown up the silence and not be consumed by it.” Tim sounds like a sad puppy and Jason tries not to push him off the roof. “It remembers me of the time when I first became Robin and there was just Bruce, Alfred, and me. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time.”

“Yeah, he was a loud pain in the ass,” Jason comments trying to light up the mood. _Shit, Jason trying to lift the mood?_

“I miss him all the time,” Tim says not looking at him. “Is like everywhere I look something reminds me of him. I know it is just my mind trying to make things harder but…” he slips off letting out a long sign. “The other day I was hearing the radio and a song come out and it was as if someone was putting it on purpose.” 

“What song?” Jason is a bit more relaxed knowing he isn’t the only one seeing Dick everywhere. 

“Circus by Britney Spears.” Tim chuckles a little at that. “He used to play that song all day long and he always said it was _his_ song. He even made me memorize it.” Suddenly the teenager keeps quiet and Jason turns to see him. He can see the little tears going down the domino mask. Jason doesn’t know what to say so he just keeps quiet. “I miss him.” 

“Yeah, me too.” He says uncomfortably.

“Sorry,” Tim says clearing his throat and looking up again. “I didn’t want to come here and talk about this with you… I know it must be harder for you. I’m going to—”

“Nah, just shut your mouth so we can enjoy the fucking sunrise.” He whispers and Tim nods a bit incredulous. After a few minutes of silence, Jason has to ask. “Why do you think this is harder for me?” 

“C’mon Jay, I mean… you were all the time with him. Your— feelings were on the surface. Everyone with two eyes could see it.” He knows it is true, but he doesn’t answer. _What use?_ That doesn’t make any difference. “Did you tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“Your feelings,” Tim mumbles not looking at him. “Before—”

“Yeah, and you know what? That’s not of your damn business. If you are going to keep asking me about him you better fuck off.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t ask again. It is just— I don’t have anyone to talk about him.” Tim mutters letting out a bit of his distress. “Bruce doesn’t speak about nothing not related to patrol, he is avoiding the topic of Dick, he just goes around doing who knows what. He doesn’t sleep, doesn’t eat. Alfred can barely persuade him to take care of himself. Damian…” he curses with a long sign. “Damian is a pain in the ass. I get it, we are all affected but the brat is so insufferable. I tried to speak with him, tried to understand him and be there for him but he just doesn’t want any help. I don’t know what to do. I— I thought that maybe you—” 

“What?” he demands knowing what the Replacement is trying to do.

“I mean, I thought that Damian maybe will hear you out. Even if he would never admit it, he looks up to you.”

“He looks up to _everyone_, he’s a fucking munchkin.” Jason can know Tim rolls his eyes under the domino mask.

“Jason, _please_… I’m serious. I thought that maybe—”

“Maybe what?” Jason asks earnestly. “You thought I could talk to him and cool him out? What do you think I’m? A fucking big brother? I’m not Dick.” Tim jumps a little at his harsh tone and Jason tries to cool out himself too. “I’m not Dick. I’m a fucking mess right now and I’m sure that the brat wouldn’t even listen to me anyway. And besides, the old man should be there for you two. He should have balls and say something! He shouldn’t let his family fall apart in a moment like this.”

“You know he won’t do that,” Tim admits with a bitter chuckle. “He tried to speak with Damian but the demon shut the door on his face. Bruce doesn’t know how to act and give us a pep talk or something. He doesn’t know how to be a father right now. Dick is always the one calming everyone, the one who always knows what to do and what to say to Damian. Without him… everything is a chaos.” 

“Dick shouldn’t have that burden on his shoulders. We can’t depend on him to be our peacekeeper or our in-between in everything. He needs us right now to be smart and strong to bring him back as soon as possible. All his life he has been a safety net for every person he cares about. Now is our time to be his safety net and do everything we can to save him.” 

“You’re right,” Tim says nodding and letting his sight travel to the comforting sunrise before them. “Dick is counting with us. We are not going to let him down. Soon, we will bring him home.” Jason can hear the determination on Tim’s voice and for some reason that gives him a little of expectancy, expectancy that he hadn’t felt in weeks. They both stay for a long time there, both on their own head. Jason hears a little yawn and he stands pushing the Replacement’s shoulder. 

“C’mon, up. I will give you a ride to the manor.” Tim nods yawing again and walking behind him but then he stops.

“Shit, but Jay… we are in full costume. We can just ride in the middle of the morning looking like this.”

“My place is near, if you move your ass a little bit faster we can get in before anyone can see us.”

In the end, Tim ends sleeping on the couch of Jason’s safe house. Jason just rolls his eyes and drinks the first coffee of the day. Even if he didn’t sleep, for some reason he doesn’t feel tired. He lets Tim sleep for a few hours and then he drives him to the manor. Jason doesn’t want to go inside but for some reason, he wants to see for himself the holy mess Tim claims they are. Once inside he can see that the living room is in current reparations, it doesn’t look as bad as _that night_ but it still looks kinda messy, things are out of place for who knows the manor by memory. Jason notices that the rest of the manor doesn’t look as chaotic as he believed, but if he takes a really close look he can see that the manor isn’t as clean and polished as always. Maybe Alfred is not in the mood of cleaning thoroughly right now. He can’t think about the strength of Alfie to handle with all the bats in a moment like this. 

He kinda drags the teenager to his room and drops him to his bed. Then, Jason walks around the floor and somehow he ends up in the exterior of Dick’s room but he doesn’t dare to move a muscle. He just leaves his hand in the air, not capable of touching the handle of the door. He turns around and then he stops when he hears sounds of something hitting something. He is about to retire and ignore that noise coming from the hall but he can almost hear Goldie's voice whispering that he should take a quick look at Damian’s door. So forcefully he walks towards the gremlin’s door and he opens it a little, but immediately a knife is dogged to the freaking door near his fucking hand!

“What the hell—!” Jason grunts looking at the demon. He is wearing a pair of sweatpants and a big hoodie, both hands have boxing gloves. His green eyes shine with anger and something else and Jason now understands why Tim wanted him to talk with the brat. _That look means trouble._ “You think it is normal to be throwing fucking knives to people?” 

“You didn’t knock,” Damian answers nonchalantly and he returns his sight to the punching bag hanging in the middle of his room. Titus is laying on his bed, looking at Jason with attention. Jason wanders thought the room observing that there are a lot of weapons and old books arranged just for Damian to understand. “What are you doing here Todd? I didn’t invite you to come in.”

“I invited myself.” Jason sits on the floor looking at Damian kick-boxing with the bag.

“Well, I do not want you here. So be free of leaving immediately.” Damian growls throwing an impressive kick and jolting the punching bag. “I will not ask twice, Todd. _Leave_.”

“I heard that you became a fucking pain in the ass these past weeks. This place is a freaking mayhem on a normal day, why would you want to make it worse?” Jason tries not to sound so brusque but he really doesn’t care.

“Now you care?” Damian hits the bag roughly making a loud sound with the force of his punch. “The role of a big brother doesn’t fit you. I am not in the mood of listening to whatever you want to say. Retire now.”

“I don’t care. And clearly I’m not trying to be a big bro. That isn’t my role.” Jason admits standing and looking at Damian even if the brat is still hitting the bag. “I’m just here to tell you some facts. First, don’t make things fucking worse, everyone is dealing with a lot of shit. If you are a damn wreck then don’t go around bothering people, no one needs that.”

“And what do they need?” Damian snaps looking at him with rage. “Peacefulness? More time? Rich—” Damian begins to say but he interrupts himself with a scowl. “Grayson doesn’t have that time. He is not safe and I’m not going to sit and wait like the rest of them. How could they be doing they regular activities like if nothing is wrong?” 

“You don’t know that,” Jason growls with the fresh memory of Tim crying in the roof, without sleeping and trying to act strong in front of him. With the way the manor seems a little bit unkempt because Alfred isn’t in his normal semblance as always. “Is easy to assume things Damian, but if you don’t ask you will never know the answer. The truth is that everyone is a fucking mess. You weren’t the only one to lose Dick, everyone here cares for him just the way you do. Don’t be selfish, Dick taught you better.” 

“But he isn’t here, is he?” Damian yells letting out a bit of his affliction. “He isn’t here to taught me to be better, to show me how to be more empathetic when that doesn’t come easy to me.”

“I know… but that is what he expects from you. He would’ve wanted us to stay together in his absence. I bet Dick is counting on the fact that we are working like a fucking team and planning how to find him.”

“Yes? And then why you locked yourself in your place for weeks without putting a foot here?”

“I couldn’t,” he admits leaning on a wooden bookshelf. “I couldn’t come back because it reminded me of _that night_ and the truth is I’m still not ready to face those memories. But this isn’t about me or about my guilt. This is about bringing him back no matter the cost.” Damian nods and he begins to throw more punches but he looks a little bit more relaxed, not like he’s planning to take the shit out of him.

“Perhaps you are correct. Perhaps I was overly just thinking about my loss that I did not thought about the other's feelings. Richard taught me better than that.”

“Well, my task here is over. Pull yourself together demon, Dick is counting with you.” Jason snaps his knuckles and tosses a little punch to the bag. When he is about to leave, Damian clears his throat.

“Thank you, Todd, your words dragged me out of my ominous thoughts. For the first time in a really long time, I see you a little bit more worthy of Grayson.”

“Excuse me?” Jason stares in disbelief at the brat but he stares back at him, all joking aside. _He’s fucking serious._ So Jason scratches the back of his neck. “Hmm, a little bit more worthy, you said?” He asks again with a little mocking grin by the door. 

“Yes, do not think so highly of yourself yet. You still do not have my total approval of courting Richard but if you prove courageous of his love then perhaps I will change my mind.” 

“Thanks? I guess.” He mumbles at the child.

“Do not thank me yet, Todd. You have to do better to earn his heart and much more to win my approval.”

Jason raises both hands not wanting to spoil his little secret and reveal a victorious grin at Damian. _Oh, if the brat only knew_. He already kissed him and a little bit more than that… But the mere thought aggravates the wound so he just closes the door and walks out of there. Is so funny how the brat thinks he has to ask for permission to flirt with Dick, _what the heck?_ This family is really insane. He walks around thinking too much about leaving but Jason thinks that if he’s already there at least he could steal some fine liquor, something that was worth coming here at all. He refills his flask and for some reason, he ends up in the balcony where he and Dick had endless chats and where he made a picnic for him. Jason can almost see the ghost of those memories pass by his peripheral sight. He ends up with his feet on the edge and looking at the floor. He hears a knock on the door and he turns to see Zatanna. Her blue eyes asking for permission to get in so Jason nods feeling a little twist on his stomach. 

“Can I sit?” she asks carefully.

“Sure.” He still mumbles feeling a bit awkward. She settles at his side but leaving a little of space between, after a moment Jason offers his flask to her being polite. Surprisingly, she accepts it and makes a frown when she tastes the liquor.

“What is this?”

“I'm a bourbon man,” he explains with a little grin, she shakes her head with a little smile and returns him the flask. 

“I figure.”

“There’s something you wanna tell me?” Jason must ask after minutes of silence, she brings her legs to her chest looking at the sky.

“Not in particular, I just wanted to see how where you.” She sounds genuine so Jason tries to not sound so rude as always.

“As fine as I could be.” He mumbles taking another sip of his flask.

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” she gives him a side look. “I know how you must be feeling.”

“Do you?” he can’t help the rude tone after all. “Someone once had taken from you the one person you care about more in the world? And you can’t do nothing but wait, powerless and useless?” he spites looking at her, she doesn’t withdraw her sight on him.

“Yes. That is why I do know how you are feeling.” She looks away a second, and Jason remembers something Dick had said about Zatanna’s father and how he had been forced to be Doctor Fate or something like that. Now he feels like a real jackass. “I wouldn’t pretend false empathy with a matter of this kind. Dick is my friend too, my family.” She explains with a sad smile. “Of course I know that your feelings for him are so much stronger than I can imagine. So sorry, I didn’t mean to sound impolite.” 

“No, I’m sorry. I’m always this kind of an asshole, I can’t help it.”

“I do not think you are an asshole, I think you are just hurt, tired of the way things are.” She says as a matter of fact and Jason raises his flask.

“Cheers to that.”

“That’s life, isn’t?” she steals the flask from his grasp and takes a sip, Jason can’t help a chuckle.

“That’s life, indeed,” Jason repeats holding the flask once she returns it. “Speaking of it, so far have you felt something? Anything at all?” 

“So far nothing, but I do feel him. I can’t explain it with words but is like a little tug on my mind, a little buzz.”

“So you can actually feel him?” Jason wishes he could feel him too, know if he is fine.

“Yes, I wish I could explain it better, I’m sorry.” Zatanna bites her finger and then she looks at him with a little hesitation. “But I can show you— if you like to.”

“You want to go inside my mind?” he lifts an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, my head is full of shit.”

“No, I won’t go inside your head. I just want to show you _what_ I feel, how I feel Dick.” He thinks it for a moment, but then he nods. _How could he be stupid enough to deny some chance like this? _He is close to the edge every day without him. If he has the chance to feel him— “Ok, let me put my hand here.” She moves closer and brings her little hand to his forehead. Jason stiffs instantly. “Just close your eyes and relax.”

Jason does, relaxing his muscles and shutting his eyes a little wary. He feels her presence, a soft one. He calms and tells himself he is not in any danger, once his mind settles she transmit him a vibe, Jason can’t describe it either with words, but he can feel like a soft cool breeze that tells him everything is okay. A tiny presence on his mind, the soothing vibe that Goldie carries every way he goes. Jason feels his body trembling and he tries to hold into that tiny feeling, tries to transmit him how much he misses him, how much he’s trying to keep his head above the water, and how much he loves him. He can almost feel him beside him now, so real and so strong that Jason opens his eyes suddenly.

“Shit,” Zatanna says beside him but Jason is still so caught in the feeling that he stands and leans against the railing breathing sharply. His mind keeps screaming _‘Goldie is here, Goldie is here’_ so Jason grabs both sides of his head trying to push away his shaken-up feelings. “Jason— how you did that?”

“Do what?” he asks once he recovers his voice. _Shit, what the heck was that? _He still feels chills going down his body. 

“I mean— you kind of draw the feeling for me, you transmitted your own feelings… like if you were the one with the connection, not me.”

“Really?” he sounds so stunned to his own ears, he clears his throat trying to bring back his impassive composure.

“Yeah, that was something strong. I’m starting to think that maybe he felt it too.”

“Are you serious?” he asks feeling his head going crazy, his damn hands are shaking too. 

“Here, sit.” She replies with a little pat on the floor next to her. Jason sits promptly letting out a whistle. _Man, that was intense._ He can still feel that like ‘_tug_’ just like she described it. He can’t help but smile widely. “Jason, that was like if I was the in-between of the connection, you know? Like if I was the cable and you were the message.”

“And how did I do that?” 

“I don’t know _exactly _the how, but I’m sure that it has to be because of your own bond with Dick. You don’t need magic to create something like that. You already had a strong link with him, so much more that I could ever have. He trusts in me, he cares for me, but your bond with him goes beyond that, is deepest and stronger, and that could make the difference. If I play the role of being the linking, maybe you could be the one who reaches him first.”

“That’s— that is good news.” He admits feeling still a little startled. Maybe after all he won’t be so useless.

“We can work on that if you don’t mind: try to send him a message, seek for his thoughts, draw his attention so that he can remember to sharpen his mind so he can tell us where he is. This is more than good news Jason.” She smiles at him, Jason finishes the last of his flask with a grin too.

“And you really think… he felt it too?” he inquires thoughtfully. He can’t stand the high hopes, but for this time he allows a little bit of hope.

“Perhaps yes, maybe not like a tug but like a little vibe. A mental connection is something weighty. When we here in the team M'gann used to link us together so we could speak without drawing attention. Dick is used to that, he can tell the difference between his own thoughts from another presence. Just like you did at first when I get in your head, for a moment you were going to pull me off, right?”

“Yeah, fucking bat training and a life living in Gotham teach you a little about protecting your mind.” Jason grunts.

“Exactly, Dick is going to feel it, _somehow._” They both stay quiet for a few minutes and then Jason takes courage to ask what he’s been thinking for the last weeks.

“So… is going to last forever? I mean, when this is over, you will still be able to feel him?”

“Maybe yes, for a while. As I said, mental connections are something deep, they leave a mark. I will feel him for a long time, maybe not so strong but like now, a little brief though or a brief whisper of how he is.

“Hmm… okay— I understand,” he can’t help the sour tone. The jealousy comes back and he feels guilty for it. _Damn, since when he became an apprehensive bastard? _

“I can see you are not so fond of the idea. Don’t worry, if you don’t like it I can erase it when we get Dick back.”

“No, it is not like that. I was just curious.” He says feeling his ears getting red, _shit. _

“Is ok Jason, you don’t have to be ashamed of a little jealousy. It is something normal, I guess? Anyway, I just want to make clear that Dick and I are just friends. Besides, I can tell he is completely hooked for you, _lucky guy_.” She jokes with a grin. Jason smiles even more broadly this time. 

“Yeah, that’s me… the lucky son of a bitch.” He affirms feeling his cheeks blushing. After a few moments, he decides to break the silence again. “Hey Zatanna, uhm... thanks for that,” he mumbles shyly, _honestly_, he feels like a rush of energy going through his body, like if he had slept for days even if he didn't even sleep last night. 

“Yeah, don't thank me— is the least I could do,” she replies with a little smile, and when things begin to be a little uncomfortable she speaks again. “C’mon, let’s go… we can practice a little combat with the sword. We need to create the best strategy against her.” Jason stands and follows the magician to the cave without a second thought. 

He can’t stop thinking about those fuzzy feelings, about that little tug of awareness about Dick. He’s sure he could felt him. He stays with that feeling, with that strong emotion going down his veins, like a fire that feeds his determination to bring Goldie home.

And this time he’s sure of one thing; he’s closer to digging deep down his sword into that sorceress and ending this once for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, I was making little mentions of Young Justice's plot haha.  
I hope everyone is ok <3 Stay safe.


	33. Evil Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick's POV.
> 
> (The title says basically everything)

Dick had been kidnaped many times before; if not for blackmail in exchange for Bruce’s fortune, it was revenge in order to get Batman, or even because sometimes, apparently, he had a big mouth. _Either way_, Dick wasn’t a stranger at being captive. He knew the system and the strategy behind the torture and the mind games. He could deal with a bit of suffering and pain. _But honestly_, he had never been abducted by an evil sorceress and a mad man, so he didn’t know what to expect from this. _Still_, every instinct in him was telling him that the moment she had dropped his ass into this 9 meters square room, _it wasn’t going to be a pretty experience. _Dick rubs his eyes for what it seems the fifth time in one minute, the white of the walls is so damn shimmering that hurts his eyes. He’s been sitting against the wall for what it seems hours. He had scrutinized the room from top to bottom, but so far has hadn’t found anything, not even a single spot of dust. He’s been assessing his situation for the last hour or so. 

He knows perfectly this kind of psychological torture; is designed to deprive all of the senses. That’s why it is called white torture, after all, _everything is white, the walls, the floor, and even his clothes._ The room is most likely soundproofed so that he can hear nothing, nothing but himself. The lighting is designed so that it doesn’t cast any shadows. Dick knows for sure that this is their way of punishing him, of making him regret his words. And he curses again because of all the methods of torture; this affliction is the one that pretty much will crew him bad. _Dammit him for being so clingy._ He can deal with the mistreatment of some thugs, he can stand the beating, the broken bones, and the mental games, he was trained really good to endure it. The many times he had been kidnaped for sure he had been tortured this way at least once (although, he almost always managed to sneak out or his family always come to shamefully rescue him) _However_, Dick knows first-hand the effects of isolation and sensory deprivation can do to his mental state, and he knows that being on his own in a hostile place and in a situation like this, _it will not end well for him. _

So he begins to meditate, leaving his mind far away from the white and the fear he is beginning to feel, he tries to remain in a peacefulness state of mind. There’s any window, nothing that can tell him how much time has passed, he doesn't know whether is day or night. Then Dick decides to take a nap before he can lose his calmness. He wraps his wings around his body like a big shelter, letting out a whine of pleasure because his wings are so cozy and warm in contrast with the cool environment. He sleeps for a long time. He was so tired and worn out from all the events since the night she took him, and he wonders how long he had been gone. His thoughts and dreams are headed to his family. All the questions he has been trying to avoid; they are ok? _Of course not._ Are they doing their best to find him? _No doubt about it._ They are going to find him? _No clue._

Many hours later _—most likely_? Dick hears sounds behind the door, so he opens his eyes standing as quickly as he can and putting on a protective stance. The sorceress steps in with a pleased grin on her face. She isn’t wearing her typical long dress, she is wearing some kind of green and black armor. It looks like a second skin on her, almost like the same fabric of Nightwing’s suit. 

“Hello, pet. Are you enjoying your time here? I can see you are accustomed to this kind of procedure, aren’t you? After all, being the protégé of Batman means he taught you how to withstand all this, I am right?” 

“Yeah, definitely it was in the Robin manual 1.2. It even gave time to think about my life choices and I think I decided to rejoin the circus. You know what? I think they may accept a snake-like you.” He says with his best smile, the sorceress is importuned and instead, she grins even more. 

“I do not take offense. The snakes are symbolized as eternity, equilibrium, and cleverness.” She replies crossing her arms. 

“Yeah, maybe… but I see the similarity of another way; a creature that every time it opens its mouth the venom leaks out, and if we count your sharp teeth that are similar to fangs— _oh_, and the vicious green eyes. That’s basically you.” She hums letting out a giggle and Dick can’t help the little tremor in his hands.

“How hilarious, but tragically I am not here to blabber. I am here just to make the trial a bit more generous.” 

“What trial?” 

“Tell me, _Nightwing_, are you ready to be apologetic for your unkind words or, are you willing to spend further time here? Let me remind you that if I _want_, I can make your time here a total tournament, make you felt like its been 10 years trapped here when in reality it would be a few days. What is your decision?” 

“I thought I was obvious by now,” Dick says with irritation.

“The monsieur wanted to give you one more chance, once chance to apologize to him and avoid all this waste of time. He—”

“If you think I’m going to come back to that freak and be his little doll you’re more stupid than I thought. My answer is still no, thank you very much, you both can go to hell.” He says sitting again on the floor, looking at her with determination. She claps her hands making him jump. 

“That was what I was hoping to hear. Enjoy your stay, _pet_.”

She shuts the door again leaving the small room in total silence again. Dick leans his head against his palm, feeling that anxiety go thought him again. The complete silence is so hard to him, heard only his breath, and having only his thoughts as company isn’t going to be easy. Many things can go wrong. But he holds into being strong, into being untamable. He prefers this to be a slave. _He chooses insolation._

_____________

The first day or two Dick begins to feel the first symptoms of the insolation when he begins to lose time perspective; the time became elastic at some point, it meant nothing when he didn’t have anything to focus his mind on. So he started concentrating on the things he _could_, no matter how absurd or foolish, like counting out loud every one of his feathers or counting from thousand to cero or even relating historical events. When he runs out of things to count he decides to switch and begin to sing or tell out loud some story that comes to his head, no matter the topic as long as the silence is drowned for a moment. He sleeps most of the time, but every time is harder because of the white light that never is off. The food and water are limited and just to not let him die of dehydration or starvation. Dick begins to say out loud the consequences of the insolation just to let it set as a reminder of what phase he currently is… and to remember _what’s coming._

For starters, isolation messes with the sense of time. One of the strangest effects is the ‘time-shifting’: _check_. Dick is already in that phase when he doesn’t have an idea of how long he has been there. He knew that people also started to crave stimulation, talking, singing, or reciting poetry to themselves to break the monotony. He also knew that later, many people became anxious or highly emotional, or they begin to feel paranoia. But the most alarming effects were the hallucinations. They would start with points of light, lines, or shapes, eventually evolving into bizarre scenes; thankfully he still wasn’t at that point, _yet_. He had been trained to bear this, to meditate and take his mind as far as he could, he knew the coping mechanisms that he probably would do without him even noticing. 

The days go by and Dick begins to feel irritable, the fury that he always keeps deep inside his mind begins to crawl out. He feels just so angry, this is so unfair— _Why him? Why after all he had been thought, he couldn’t have a break?_ It wasn’t fair. Suddenly there’s a noise, a thundering noise ringing in his ears. He sets both hands covering his ears, but the sound keeps thundering in the small room. And then, Dick realizes that the sound is coming from _him_, he feels his throat burning. He had been screaming without him noticing. _That’s when he freaks out. _Eventually, he runs out of energy to scream for them to let him out. He can’t mediate anymore, _he can’t even think._

His mental instability was on the tightrope, and he imagined how it would fall and crash at any second. The though is funny for a moment until it isn’t, not when he started to see flashing lights, only to jerk his head around to find that nothing was there. At some point he doesn’t even remember what he is doing here, he isn’t sure what is happening, he repeats his name like a prayer, hoping that he can remember it the next time he wakes up, _if he does._

A moment he was laying on the floor, hearing the incessant hum of the dim fluorescent light and then, the door suddenly opens: _and is like a spell has been lifted_, because the moment it happens, is like is everything comes back to him, his memories, his last conversation, the memory of what he is doing here, all come to him as a sudden wave and Dick lifts himself as much as he can, almost whimpering at the person than goes inside. He never felt so _relieved_, all the loneliness, the deprivation and the silence piercing his brain is something he needs to forget as soon as possible, but he fears that now the thought is poked with fire like _another_ _scar_.

“Please—” Dick can’t recognize his own voice while he barely stands in front of the man and apparently his legs fail because the next thing he notices is that the man catches him with a strong grip and Dick can’t help but cry at the contact. He feels sick and ashamed but he doesn’t distance itself when Nathaniel wraps him in some kind of embrace. 

“_Shuu_, don’t worry Richard. I’m here, it's over.” Once Dick calms down a bit, he thinks of what he just has done and tries to step back, but the man tightness his arms around him. “You are shaking, don’t worry. I know what would make things better. Come with me.” Dick follows him out of the room without a second thought, he doesn’t want to put a foot there never again. The man leads with through halls and rooms but Dick doesn’t pay attention, he is shivering all over his body, _he’s really shaken_, like he hadn’t been in a long time. He can’t believe that’s all it took to submit him, is so disgraceful— Dick feels in some kind of trance, like trapped in a bubble, he can vaguely hear the man talking but Dick can’t concentrate. They stop at some point and the next thing he feels is something wet touching his skin so he tries to move away. “Hey, relax. Is just water, see? All you need is a hot bath to loosen up a bit from that awful experience.”

“What—?” Dick blinks realizing that they are in the vast bathroom where he woke up the first time. He notices the tub in the middle of the Corinthian columns, he can see the steam on the mirrors, and then he notices he is still shaking. Dick looks up at the man insecurely, he is still losing time because the tub is filled with water, and he barely has noticed.

“A hot bath is going to make you feel better, trust me.” Dick gulps and then he steps in the hot water letting out a pleased mewl, _he can’t help it_. The hot water feels so good against his cold body, it feels like years since the last time he felt so warm. The sound of a cap being open brings him back to reality and Dick looks at the man again.

“What are you doing?” he mumbles catching sight of the man holding a bottle of what it seems shampoo.

“Your hair is a mess darling, you need to wash it,” Nathaniel says with an obvious tone. Dick frowns at him.

“I can do it myself.” Dick begins to feel really ashamed right now. Before he hadn’t realized that because he was very busy regaining his brain back to the present, trying to put his shit together, _but now_… Dick wraps his wings against his naked chest trying to cover his skin against those hazel eyes. At least he is still wearing boxers, and he wonders what happened with the trousers.

“As you wish,” the man handles him the bottle and settles next to the tub, looking at him shamelessly. Dick stares at him for a few seconds and then he gives up knowing the man won’t go away, and Dick doesn’t have the energy to kick him out. He knows for sure the PTSD is accounted for, there’s no way he is going to forget that easily the event. Just thinking about it makes him shudder again. “You keep surprising me further, Richard. I have no doubt you are so much more of what people really give you credit for.” Dick ignores him while he washes his hair as quickly as he can. He feels his eyes sting for some shampoo getting in and he curses, pouring some water into his face and washing off the rest of the foam in his hair.

“How long I was there?” he asks once he finishes with his hair and face. The man stays silent for a few seconds looking at him deeply.

“I would say seven days. You're resilient, huh?”

“Seven?” he inquires feeling dumbstruck. _Seven days?_ It felt like an eternity, if possible, he feels even more ashamed. _It wasn’t that long… not really_.

“Maybe aren’t many days for you, but with _M_ powers I am certain than mentally it was like spending weeks, months even. Don’t underestimate what you gone thought Richard, I bet many people wouldn’t have stood a day. You are so much powerful of what you really believe.” 

“Don’t you think it was a bit overstated? I mean… I just— didn’t agree with you. You are going to dump me there every time I disagree with you?” he shakes his head just thinking about it. _No_, _he won’t make it a second time. _

“Trust me, darling, it would be more painful for me to make _that_ decision, I cannot ruin a pretty thing like you with such a traumatic experience, but if is necessary, I won’t hesitate. You hurt my feelings,” Dick looks down at his wings, lost at words. _Unbelievable_, Dick feels the angriness in the pit of his stomach hearing the way this man thinks he is just a pretty and fragile thing. He won’t apologize, but… _honestly,_ _he can’t go back there. _Nathaniel grabs a towel near him and folds it neatly putting it close to Dick. “Now it comes the answer I was waiting for, Richard. Are you going to finally behave from now on?”

“I don’t want to go back there.” He admits in a whisper, _no, no_, he won’t make it thought again.

“All you needed was a taste of the power I hold on you. _Say it Richard_, say that you are going to behave.”

“I will.” He manages to say, the words feel like brinks, but he says it anyway. Nathaniel stands with a pleased smile.

“Magnificent, I will wait for you outside. I have a banquet waiting for you, _little angel_.”

The man closes the door and Dick dives his head underwater, trying to calm his throbbing mind. He spends a few seconds and then he pulls out. He stays there a long time; until the water turns cold and the knocks at the door lure him out of his trance. _So this is what it really felt making a deal with the devil, after all._

_____________

Even though his eyes were closed, he could still see the universe drifting around him. He could still visualize the way the world moved outside the bars of his cage. He could still fantasize about waking up next to Jason or about having breakfast with his family. Those memories now seemed like a lifetime ago, like he just was seeing it through a glass. Time-shifted different in this place, the time had another meaning when you were a prisoner. Is was kind of funny how Dick used to have things for granted in the past, _but now_... he would give everything he had for the change to get his freedom back, for a single hug from his family. 

He had lost count of the days being here after the white room, the truth is that Dick can barely give it a thought, to be honest. It didn’t matter the time he’s spent here, because it was far from over. It still pained him and Dick feared that one day it would consume him whole. Dick turns around in the super king-size bed where he is currently laying, the blankets so velvety and smooth around his body, _and yet_, sometimes it feels like they were going to strangle him in his sleep. 

In his time here he had only been allowed to know a few places of this vast prison including this room that ‘supposedly’ belongs to him, the shiny bathroom, an elegant dining room, a training room where thankfully they let him train and do exercise and lastly, the sunroom where he sees most of the times at the creep man. But beyond that Dick doesn’t have a real idea about the dimensions of this place, but as far as he can tell is like a freaking museum. 

Since the time he was trapped in that white room, Dick's behavior and attitude had changed, even if he tried so hard to fight it, but the memories of that place still haunted him. He couldn’t let it go, even if he tried to push the thoughts into a little box to the back of his mind, _this time it wasn’t working._ So Dick had kind of dropped his playfully act, for now, he had muted any kind of witty comeback as much as he could, he feared to be sent back to that room, he never thought that a few days of confinement could bring down his stability like this. He felt so ashamed of himself. 

Most of the days his only duties were to look pretty, stretch his wings, and hear the man talk about his journeys around the world, about what new present he had brought for him or answer any stupid question he'll throw his way while they played chess in the sunroom. 

Undoubtedly, Dick had met plenty of psychopaths over the curse of his life, because —_hashtag Gotham, sure._ But to be honest, Dick had never genuinely met someone like _him_. His hazel eyes were like a shadow following him everywhere. Dick couldn’t wash off with enough luxurious soap the weight of that stare. Those eyes screamed danger, they had fire and they promised a hell. It was like waiting for a bomb to explode, Dick was pending on the moment for the man to unravel his true intentions with him, _because there was no way that Nathaniel only wanted him to sit and look pretty, right?_ He is like a weird trophée, like one more sculpture in the hall. Nathaniel asks him questions every day, things about his life and what he likes to do. Dick feels so under pressure by the constant attention he receives from the man. He really fucking believes he’s an angel, and there’s nothing Dick can say to him to change his mind. He is obsessed; he is insane with the idea of ‘owning’ an angel, so Dick tries to behave with him. He didn’t want to make him lose his temper again, neither the sorceresses. But Dick knew it wasn’t on his blood to be tamed, he wasn’t a caged bird and he would never be. But Dick was smart, and he also knew that for now… it was the wisest thing he could do. He could even imagine what Bruce would say. _‘Analyze your surroundings, find a weak spot. Wait for the right moment. Be patient. Never give up.’ _Yeah, he tried to hold into that, he tried to keep his mouth shut and be patient. But the truth was that Dick felt that he was losing hope, similar to when he had lost hope of turning back to normal. But this time is not akin, this time he’s really deep down the belly of the beast. 

“Rise and shine, Pretty Bird.” He can almost hear her purring near his ear, Dick opens his eyes searching for her and once he spots her standing close to the door he lets out a groan.

“You’re back with that dumb nickname?” Dick mumbles sitting up and stretching his wings. _Man, ouch._

“That relies upon of my daily aura, and today I had the high spirits.” 

“Can I ask why?” Dick is on alert for a moment, he looks suspiciously at her.

“No, you can not ask. _Hurry_, your Master is waiting for you.” Dick lets out a loud exhalation but he doesn’t say anything about that humiliating nickname. He discreetly looks over his shoulder to the room assigned for him, with the big bed with golden bedposts placed in the core of the room and the shape of a fucking birdcage decorating the rest of the place. It is_ so annoying. _Dick baths on autopilot and this time he leaves his hair messy. He waits near the door and as punctual as always, the sorceress or like Dick discovered her true name, _Maeve,_ walks in and inspects him to toes to head. She grabs his arm roughly and Dick hisses.

“You don’t have to be dragging me like this, I hate it.”

“Did I requested you to speak? No, I did not. I would drag you if I want.” She gives him one of those insufferable grins and keeps holding his arm, making him walk through the hall. Then, she teleports him to the sunroom and Dick grunts, knowing she does it just to bother him. Dick steps away from her and walks to the center of the room laying eyes on the man sipping at his tea. He is wearing like every day a different designer suit, this time in a beige color. Dick can almost smell the money coming from him, his brown hair is stylishness as always, not even a single hair out of place. His hazel eyes linger on him for a long moment and then he connects his eyes with Dick’s, a grin tugging the end of his mouth.

“Good morning Richard, I have good news today.” Dick sits on the comfortable chair peeking at the same chess set, _and yeah,_ he has the white pieces, _ha_.

“What news?” Dick mumbles watching the man sitting in front of him, approaching him his cup of tea.

“Well, first I have to say that your hair looks so good like that. And the news is that I have today’s free, we can play and chat all day long. Isn’t marvelous?” 

“Yeah, marvelous,” Dick whispers drinking from the cup. _Great_, an entire day with this nuts. Nathaniel chuckles settling up the pieces and giving him a funny look. He always leaves for a good few hours, leaving the sorceress as his babysitter, _a psych babysitter_. The only good thing is that she hates it as much as him. She always takes him to the training room and at least that way Dick doesn’t die of boredom, even sometimes they spar. Dick ends in the mats, _of course_. But he doesn’t waste any opportunity to kick her ass even if almost impossible. “You had never told me what you do. Do you work or something?” Dick ends asking, taking the first white piece.

“Yes, I do have some kind of work. Mostly is a hobby, if I may say.”

“What kind of hobby?” Dick never wastes a chance to ask personal questions to him, even if the man nearly ever answers him. Dick is trying to keep a mental file about these two nutcases.

“As you can tell, I am love with the art, the ancient sculptures, and the angelology, _of course_. I offer my knowledge to museums and private parties about my discoveries over the years.” Dick nods not interested at all but putting this information in the file. The more he can know about this guy, the more chances to unmask him. “I will offer you a deal, if you win me in chess, we can share questions one to the other, you have been behaving so well Richard, you deserve a regard. What do you think?” Dick wants to say that he isn’t a stupid dog to get a regard, but he ends nodding. 

“Ok, fine.” _Good thing Bruce had taught him the way to always win._ They spend a good hour or so playing until Dick finishes the game with a cheeky grin. For the way Nathaniel grins back maybe he let him win, Dick tries not to thinking it too much.

“You won, be free to ask me whatever you want, little angel.” The nickname makes him bite the inside of his cheek feeling nauseous.

“What are your further plans with me? Keep me here forever like a trophy for you?” _The only experiment that worked out_, he thinks. He doesn’t hide the sour tone at the question. He always asks the same even if he already knows the answer and _yet_, he keeps repeating it with the hope that someday changes.

“I can’t spoil the main event coming your way, but rest assured that is going to be noteworthy. And yes, Richard, like I had said many times before you were destined to become this. Many things happened leading you here with me, there’s no other place that can give you what you deserve. You belong here.” Dick hisses trying not to yell of frustration. Nathaniel hums and then speaks again. “What do you prefer to be; ward of the billionaire Bruce Wayne, ex former Circus boy, or young vigilant in black and blue with a city and a legacy of your own?” Dick bites his nail so hard trying not to explode. This kind of question about his secret identity is so annoying, the reminder of what this creep knows and what he can reveal to the world takes him to the edge.

“I miss being just me, _thank you very much.”_ He mutters and Nathaniel shakes his head with a playful expression. 

“That’s not the answer I have required, but it is more than obvious that you prefer to be Nightwing, _right?_ Flying thought the roofs of that rotten city and saving people. You can notice how deep the Batman had his roots on you? You care more about protecting your secret identity than your own life. Like if you were not more than a simple mask or a weapon.” 

“Why the sorceress works with you? If she is as powerful as she claims, why waste her powers in helping you to curse men like me?” He ignores his last words, leaving them in the back of his head. Nathaniel nods as if he was expecting this question and be ignored. Dick always tried to know about those two and their connection in this madness, but he always ignored any topic related to her.

“I have to admit that you are very stubborn, aren’t you? But fine, if you insist on knowing this kind of things when they are thousands of better questions, ok. Perhaps M won’t like me sharing this information but I guess there’s no harm. The simple answer is this; _she owns me_.”

“Owns you?” Dick frowns at the man, settling better in his seat. “That doesn’t make sense. How a powerful being like her can own a simple man like you?” Nathaniel makes a gesture of irritation and Dick shuts his mouth.

“Maybe I am not as simple and mindless as you think, Richard. It is no use telling you the whole story because that’s between me and her, but this is what you can know. I saved her when she was young and reckless. She made a mistake and by pure coincidence, I was there so she’s been in debt with me since then. When I found out what she was… _well_, I changed my world, it gave more perspective, and thanks to her I have reached many objectives.” 

“So… you saved her, she owned you and then you send her to bewitch boys for you? Is still doesn’t make sense,” Dick mumbles passing a hand thought his face. _Shit,_ this new information is so confusing. _Why would she stay with him to do his crazy commands?_ If she was what everyone believed, why not get free or any debt she had with him? _At least…_ “She’s in love with you?”

“I don’t think something like her can feel love, but definitely we have a connection. She felt it like a debt she needed to keep until the day I die, _I guess_. She can have anything in the world she desires, but imagine living for so long without any purpose? Without someone else to rule beside you? Even Hades needed company in the underworld.”

“I—”

“Richard, you asked of more, is my turn for some questions. When will you surrender before me? When will you accept what you really are?” Dick blinks perplexed at him, still thinking about what he found out. He frowns again.

“Honestly, I don’t think I ever will...” Something dark passes thought Nathaniel’s expression but it is well covered while he takes another drink of the forgotten tea.

“I guess I will have to do more drastic proceedings with time, that’s fine by me,” Dick takes his cup too trying not to show the fear he feels because of those words when suddenly Dick drops the cup the floor. For a moment is like he sees in slow motion the cup exploiting and breaking in pieces when he _feels _something, like a tiny and brief presence in his mind, _someone_ is reaching him. Dick gasps when he recognizes the presence; he doesn’t have to think it too much. _Is Jason…_ Dick is sure as well as he is sure than the moon rises every night in the sky. Dick closes his eyes trying to reach him back, he doesn’t have idea how Jason is doing this, but he tries to grasp him back, to tell him he is ok. Dick opens his eyes when he almost feels Jay beside him, whispering in his ear. Dick raises his hand feeling a warmth spreading thought his belly but then he is pulled out of the feeling when someone grabs his hand for real, he blinks at the confused face of Nathaniel looking at him. 

“Are you fine? What was that?” Dick looks down at the cup shattered on the checkerboard floor and then he stares back at his side, almost expecting to find Jason next to him. _But there’s no one…_

“I’m sorry— I kinda felt dizzy for a moment.” Dick is quick to close his eyes and put a hand on his forehead pretending to feel sick. But he holds into the _feeling_, into the warmth he felt. He knows for sure that was real. _Right? His mind isn’t so crazy to come up with something like that, it has to be real, but how—? _

“Are you feeling sick? You want to lay down for a sec?” Nathaniel is crunching in front of him, looking somehow concerned. Dick nods and a strong arm pulls him up, Dick walks beside the man feeling his skin crawling at the contact of those hands touching him. He bends his wings as far as he can from the man.

Dick feels dazed, like if a door had been placed wide open for him to go inside. Suddenly many thoughts come to him, like little memories that he didn’t know he needed to recall. It is like if he was standing near an abyss and the gravity had pulled him through it, spilling all the secrets Dick needed to remember. Suddenly and for the first time, Dick feels that maybe he hadn’t completely reached rock bottom yet.

Once he is laying on the super king size mattress, he’s barely aware of the man stroking his hair, but Dick is so far in his head that he can only focus on Jason’s brief presence in his thoughts, he grasps at the memory feeling warm for the first time in this palace of coldness. 

_____________

“I heard you felt bad a few days ago, is that true?” The sorceress inquiries from her spot at the leather benches where she usually spies him training. Dick cleans his sweated forehead with the back of his hand pretending that he is paying attention to the treadmill where he is doing cardio.

“What?” he mumbles a little out of breath, he is been working out for the last hours, keeping his mind busy and centered in something more than his messed thoughts and memories that are trying to tell him something. He doesn’t need to draw attention and mess up whatever his family is planning.

“Yes, the Monsieur was worried about you, he said you have been such a good little pet that he was going to bring you something special to make you feel better.” She almost spites the last and Dick can’t help but laugh.

“Jealous?” He mocks and the sorceress speeds up the velocity of the treadmill, Dick waves his wings trying to keep balance and he increases his speed to catch up with the machine. “Wow, easy. It has a joke.”

“I have been thinking…” She begins to say circling him like she always does, Dick tries to ignore her. “Since the white room you have been different, a little withdrawn and traumatized. For a while you were more pliant and obedient, fearing of returning to that place. Now you are again being presumptuous, thinking you are safe. Perhaps you have fooled him for now with the batting of your eyelashes, but let me remind you that you may have been underestimating him and therefore, me as well.”

“Your point?” Dick stops the treadmill grabbing a towel and cleaning his face, he grabs a bottle of water and drinks it nonchalantly.

“You got him wrapped around your little finger, _I can see it_. He was so thrilled with finding ‘the one’ that perhaps he is a little too much charmed with you. But do not forget I am still watching you, I would not be fooled by a pretty thing like you.”

“Maybe you are right; maybe I might have been a little traumatized by that place and I was a little absent for weeks, but that wasn’t me. I’m Dick Grayson, that’s my charm, I always come back being that pain in the ass.” She looks at him with attention, like if she could read his mind. Dick panics for a moment, fearing that she can find out about what he felt. He needs to keep that information hidden, _he somehow knows that brief connection is the key to everything._ So Dick does the thing he used to do in his old Robin days, what he did with Bruce when he wanted to distract him from something. _He makes her angry._ “And yeah, he definitely had been more open with me, you know? He even told me about your little secret, the reason why you are here. And I was right since the beginning, you are like a pet to him too. You would do everything for him… you love him or—?” Dick can’t finish because suddenly she is in front of him, in a second she kicks him almost bending him in two. Dick reacts and throws a kick too, but she grabs his leg and sends him flying to the mats, Dick hisses and looks at her with pained eyes.

“I am not human. I never was. So why are you expecting me to act like one? I do not feel love, not even regret. I am not ruled by those stupid distractions. You do not know _anything_ about me or him.”

“But I do know enough, maybe you don’t feel love but you're from the old school. You believe in debts and honor, right? You honor him somehow, and whether you like it or not, he is your weakness. And even if you don’t like the idea, for now, you can’t hurt me without his consent. You only need to keep me company.” Dick stands extending his wings and winking at her. Frankly, Dick didn’t see coming the blow to his way.

“He said I couldn’t touch your pretty face… _lucky for me_ I have plenty of space to work with.” She empathizes her words sweeping at his feet and sending him back again to the mats in record time. “He said I could not send you back to the white room because for now, you were behaving yourself so well. I give it to you, pet, maybe you are hard rock, _for now_. Maybe you got him right into your act, but I won’t let you win.”

“You are worried that I’m stealing his attention from you, _Maeve_?” He practically grins every word. She growls and slaps his face so hard that Dick sees starts explode in his vision. He barely hears her next words.

“I will hurt you without leaving a single mark on your skin; you think you can take it, _Nightwing?_”

“Do your worst,” Dick remembers he had said, and later he would regret those words… but at the time it seemed the right thing to say. Once she finishes with beating the crap out of him he is a gasping mess on the floor. Dick stays down, not having enough energy to even give a witty comeback. She looks at him with an unreadable expression on her green eyes, and then she crunches next to him, moving her face closer to Dick’s. 

“Eventually you get used to being captive. I never understood injured birds so well before.”

And with that, she leaves closing the door quietly behind her. Dick stays laying there, looking at the ceiling. _Well, that wasn’t pretty_, but at least for now, his secrets are safe from her. Dick closes his eyes, clutching to the idea of returning home _the sooner the better. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dick will be fine, is a promise! He will have a happy ending <3  
I felt so bad writing this haha sorry 
> 
> Guys we are getting closer to the end of this fic :(  
Are you ready? because I am not.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos, comments, and bookmarks, it means the world to me <3


	34. Far From Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick's POV. 
> 
> “I'm sending a raven  
With blood on its wings  
Hoping it reaches you in time  
And you know what it means  
Cause out here in the darkness  
And out of the light  
If you get to me too late  
Just know that I tried.”

Bruce used to say that patience was one of the more challenging but one of the most relevant attributes that he could achieve in his life.

_‘A man who is a master of patience is a master of everything else’._

Bruce used to tell him that all the time until it got lodged in the back of Dick’s head. _Of course,_ Dick learned it from his own experience in his own time, but he could still remember Bruce’s firm voice advising him as a father would do_._ _However_, Bruce wasn’t here to remind him that, he wasn’t here to repeat it endlessly until Dick was tired of hearing it, and right now he needed so bad that kind of assurance, of assurance that everything would be fine. Dick was strong, he knew that… _but for how long?_

He ached for many things, things he couldn’t get even if ‘supposedly’ he had everything he wanted here. The man says it to him every time, that he could get him whatever he desired. Dick’s only desire was to be home with his family. He could give up to everything; to his hero life, to his wings, to his dreams if it meant being free again. He needed to know if Tim was sleeping regularly, or at least a healthy period of time and if he wasn’t exhausting himself working. He needed to know if Damian was doing his homework or that he wasn’t fighting with everyone, Dick wasn’t there to give him a teddy bear hug and make him know everything was going to be ok. He needed to know if Bruce was being there for them and not locking himself in his own guilt and frustration. He needed to know how Jason was doing, if he was being more ruthless and resentful. He wasn’t there to give him a good luck kiss or a good night kiss.

But if Dick only focuses on the things he can’t change, maybe he won’t even have a chance to change anything on the things he can, _right now_. And besides, through it all, people regularly used to say that he was stubborn, that he was persistent and annoying. Villains used to want to beat the crap out of him for being that way, and sometimes they were successful in doing it. So Dick tried to see this that way, see those supposed ‘flaws’ like strengths, use them for his advantage, as his shield. Hope dies last, _right?_ He just needed more patience.

It was a matter of time until he could fully understand the little flood of murmurs in his mind, to put his thoughts into colors and stop seeing everything in a black and white perspective. He had learned that even if the sorceress and the man told him he was in the tightrope, they didn’t count on the fact that he had given his first steps there.

_____________

Dick wasn’t allowed to have a calendar, or apparently either an answer about how long he had been there, he could only suppose the time, he could only rely on the weather to give him an approximate answer. It was better than nothing. So he started paying attention to his surroundings outside the walls. When he looked at the windows in the sunroom he could notice the change in the weather, the green of the tress was fading and the leaves were falling soundlessly with the little wind there was. _Autumn, _which meant that maybe it was mid-September, which also means that Dick maybe had a month and a half being here. _It felt like a lifetime already. _The weather wasn’t chilly or cold like in Gotham in this time of the year, which meant that they were far away, _but how far? _The temperature was relatively high and enjoyable, something Dick is not used in this season. The only logical explanation was that they weren’t in the same country, maybe another continent? _Shit, that was bad news. _

The time moved and Dick was beginning to put together a routine, something to not lose his mind any longer, it helped to put his shit together and not wander around the memories of the white room or about the fact that he was a damn prisoner. Sometimes it amazed Dick how quick he was starting to get used to his routine. But that wasn’t so strange after all; popular knowledge said that the estimated time to acquire a new habit was 30 days, other sources speak of 21 days. Dick knew very well the numbers, the estimates, and the odds. He knew himself really good _(of course, right?) _Experience told him how long he would struggle and then eventually how he would adjust. Truth to be told_,_ Dick was really good with adapting_, after all_: he’s been bouncing from a very young age, escaping from the sandglass of fate. 

And now it didn’t seem so different, Dick was adapting to his routine, to a pattern, _to another life._ As the days went on, the things seemed more mundane, the days passed and Dick was getting more ‘freedom’ inside this cage. He didn’t gasp anymore when he toured around the vast white mansion, he wasn’t dragged around by the sorceress anymore. He even could travel from his ‘supposed room’ to the sunroom every day, or to the training room or the dining room, and even for his _good behavior _he had ‘earned’ his permission to new places like the extensive library and other rooms, he could even watch TV and cartoons, _ha_. Dick was a good player, he knew how to charm and make his way around people. He was an actor, _a performer_. It was in his veins, and Dick was playing his cards right. The sorceresses keep an eye on him, but Dick knew how to mistake and distract her, it wasn’t that hard. He only pulled his arrogant and annoying personality, or when that didn’t work out he just had to make her lose her temper, that wasn’t hard either. He could get used to the beating, to her hostile and aggressive treatment, to her harsh words to him, and _honestly,_ he kinda enjoyed making her angry, even if the beatings weren’t pleasant.

But the thing from above everything that he couldn’t adapt yet was _the man. _Dick couldn’t settle in with him, there was something wicked about him, something that not even the sorceress could make him feel, regardless of her dark magic and her sharp teeth. The smiles Nathaniel given him were worse even with his perfect and white teeth. He didn’t look like a monster, but if one thing Dick knew about monsters; it was that not all looked like one. 

“My, are you somewhere else in that petty head of yours?” Dick didn’t dodge the first blow to his face and the twinge don’t take long to explode in his cheek, but Dick ducks just in time for the second swing regaining his position. “This is lame for you already? I thought you found entertaining the combat, isn’t so funny when you are the one that receives, right?”

“I was just thinking,” Dick touches his face with a smirk. “Have you ever tried it? You don’t like the kind of thing that thinks.”

“_Smart,_ you always have a snappy retort for everything?” She smirks at him back approaching with a stride slow and confident. Dick moves his shoulders trying to lull his sore muscles. 

“Sure, that’s one of my superpowers, you know?” Dick gets ready for the next strike and it doesn’t take long, she attacks like a shadow and Dick barely has time to duck again before she reads his moves and punches his face again, Dick steps back with a grunt. 

“I thought your power was to be annoying.” 

“That’s another superpower, I guess,” she chuckles with that small and evil sound of her and Dick just rolls his eyes. “Ouch, that hurt by the way. You don’t get tired of kicking my ass? I mean… there’s no point, I can’t beat you.” 

“No, you cannot,” she says showing off and making him a gesture to get closer, Dick feels his wings bristle for a second and he adjust the boxing gloves. “But is amusing seeing you trying.” 

“Yeah, _hilarious_. You don’t have anything else to do? I don’t know, like— eat some child? Conquest the world? Play the Ouija?” She ignores him for a long time, they both spar (or more actually Dick just moves and ducks her powerful and fast blows with the hope of actually one day punch her back) when suddenly the sorceress stops with her flow of blows giving Dick a chance to smack her in the side of her head, but she doesn’t even react, like if she didn’t even felt the hit at all, instead she glares at him with her full attention. “What? You are tired? Me too, _honestly_. Being beaten makes me tired too, you know?” Dick mumbles grabbing a towel and cleaning his brow. The way she still glares at him makes him freak out for a moment, that simple smack had made her angry? _Seriously?_ “Hey, chill out. I bet that didn’t even hurt you. If I can retire to—“ 

“You are not scared of me anymore, are you?” She inquires but there is something in her tone that makes him feel chills, like if she had figured out something and is waiting for him to spit out everything. She crosses her arms waiting for an answer so Dick takes a sip of Gatorade. 

“How _not _be scared of you? On a good day, you creep me out. On a bad day? You are the star in my nightmares.” Dick can’t help the chuckle and she frowns even more.

“You don’t smell so sweet anymore, not like the first times when I meet you. That dread is gone… now is like you actually begin to enjoy being here, thinking that I am one of those stupid cartoons shows you watch and where the hero always wins for mere luck. This is the real-life _pet_, and I am starting to think that you are not taking this seriously anymore. You did first after the white room, but now you think you are on some kind of holiday? This place isn’t a resort of some kind, _and yet_… I see you so quiet and polite, behaving so well. I wonder if this is some kind of play, if you are planning some strategy to get free. And if you are… you are just ratting out yourself, making the wrong questions.”

“And what should I ask then?” Dick frowns looking cautious at her.

“Perhaps stop asking about dinner and ask something more significant. Like—” of nowhere she is behind him grabbing his right-wing in a fast movement, Dick reacts waving it, trying to move away from her grip. “What’s going to happen to you in a few months?”

“Stop it,” Dick says and surprisingly she releases his wing. Dick turns around to look at her suspiciously. “What do you mean ‘in a few months’?”

“Hmm, he hadn’t told you…” She mocks with a pleased grin. “I see… he is too busy reading you stories and playing chess. You have him hooked, don’t you? Just like everyone else that falls in your web.”

“Your point?” She never elaborates after saying something like that, but Dick has the feeling that this time she is going to say it just for her benefit, she is trying to get him out something.

“Even if you don’t believe it, he has everything planned, even the most insignificant detail about your day. He is a scheduler, _a perfectionist._ Why do you think everything went according to the plan? He masterminded everything, every detail, and every move. Not even the great Batman could foresee the play. You don’t think he only has you here only because of your charm, right?”

“No, of course not. He’s fucking obsessed with proving me that I’m an angel.”

“But not only to you, _pet_. Since the beginning, his goal has always been to prove he was not crazy, stop the mockery, and the critics of his relatives. Once he finishes with making you a believer, the next step is to shut the mouth of the ones who never believed in him.”

“Why are you saying me this? Is it a warning?” Dick demands staring back at her, she gets closer, face to face and Dick tries not to shiver.

“I am saying it, because, I do not want you to make him wait any longer for you. You don’t _deserve_ his attention. You aren’t as special as he thinks you are. This is a statement for you to surrender and be what he wants you to be… or you know what I am going to do.”

“You don’t like me, why don’t you just take me out and find another replacement?” He feels so wrong saying it, like if another life didn’t mean anything, but Dick has to sound honest to her ears, he has to know what she is implying here.

“_I would_. Unfortunately, he won’t quit on you, he is so wrapped in your finger like I have said many times. You can’t escape from this, _from him. _I am just here to let you know that. Sadly I won’t be able to get rid of you any time soon, but be sure of the damage I still can make you… or your loved ones. That white room was nothing compared with my real powers.” 

“I know,” Dick grins out feeling that angry and impotent feeling wanting to go out, the remainder of that place makes him feel sick again. “That’s why I’m behaving, _remember?_ I’m just being like the trophy he wants me to be.” The words sound so much bitter that he had intended, but Dick couldn’t care less. The sorceress analyses his face and grins. 

“Good_,_ keep it that way, _Nightwing_. I am going to know if you are plotting something and if I find out anything that proves me right … I am going to crush everything you love. Are we clear?”

“Loud and clear, great pep talk, huh.” Dick manages to spit back at her, even if he could feel the little drops of sweat going down his back. She nods and turns around, but before she can get out of the training room, she speaks again without looking at him.

“Next time, ask the Monsieur for his plans for you. Burst that bubble where you put yourself in, or I am going to do it for you.”

Once he is alone, he lets out a growl and bumps into the punching bag, punching and swinging to the not-living bag until he is out of breath and his fits begin to ache. He takes off the boxing gloves checking his red knuckles. He passes a hand through his sweated face, wiping away the angry tears that threaten with slipping from his eyes. _No, he won’t give her the satisfaction. _He moves to the bathroom deciding that a hot bath is going to calm him down before that fury can make him do something stupid like slipping out something. Once the water is hot enough, he dives in letting out a sign and closing his eyes. Even if the water helps with his sore muscles it doesn’t do anything against the headache expanding from eye to eye. He’s been having headaches for weeks, and he knows that that goes beyond stress or any mechanism of his body. It is_ something else._ Those odd and temporary thoughts keep coming and going, leaving him clues on his brain for him to piece together, he isn’t sure how to read it yet, but he is trying, trying so hard to understand. But so far Dick had managed to draw certain conclusions.

_The first_ is that Zatanna is clearly behind this sudden thoughts and memories that slip away constantly before he can fully catch it. Is her way of protecting him against the sorceress, even if he doesn’t understand fully why.

_The second_ is that his family is planning something to find him, it is a matter of time before they manage to do it.

_The third… _somehow, everything depends on _him_. He has to do something, but he has no clue about what, _precisely_. Evidently it has something to do with that presence on his mind a few weeks ago, the presence of Jason has a meaning and Dick needs to put it together. But he needs to do it carefully, much more now that the sorceress is pending on him, watching his every move. He can’t mess this up, they are counting with him, _his own skin _is on the line. If he doesn’t do something _soon_, maybe it will be too late. And he can’t let that happen. _He won’t._

He just needs a little more time, he needs to understand the clues and _remember._

_____________

He’s been waking up in the middle of the night dreaming strange things, sometimes he is sure those maybe are not dreams and actually are memories of some kind. And not only that, but Dick has been also having a constant sensation lately, the impression that he needs to search for something. The _what _isn’t clear yet, but the feeling is there. Dick allows himself to be guided for his gut and be more perceptive of any clue that may appear in his way, no matter the silly or apparently unimportant that it may be. This is magic after all, _right?_ Isn’t made to be understood, is made to be **believed**.

One evening Dick had been wandering around the mansion, just letting his feet walk around without a destination in mind. He lifts his sight from the polished white floor and looks into the glass-door of the library, he decides to go inside by pure inertia and begins to stroll through the bookshelves, passing his hands through the titles and the collection of books, he doesn’t know what he is looking, but something is calling him _here_. He takes a moment to contemplate the endless library, it certainly would make blush a nerdy person, _coff coff… Jason._ If only his Little Wing could see it (under complete and different circumstances, _sure_) But he would be in love with the vast collection of classic novels and books. _Hell_, all his family would be crazy for this library; it looks so neat and in a classical style, it remembers him of the library manor. This is the only room in this place that isn’t all white, is has brown and old wood giving it the vibe of an old place, _just like home_. If Dick ignores the huge white candlestick handing above his head, it almost looks like a comforting place. To be honest— his is his _only_ preferred place, the only place where he feels more like himself, not like a pet, or a trophy, but like a person of flesh and blood. 

Dick searches through the books carefully, taking his time to just read every title, hoping to get the feeling when he finds what he is looking. Somehow, hours later one book catches his attention, isn’t something he would read, but the title gives him chills. ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’, the title makes him laugh, because… _really?_ He grabs the book and sits on the wooden floor leaning on a bookshelf, making sure that he can hear steps or noise if someone gets inside due to the echo of the library. Dick reads quickly the intro and he begins to flip through the pages, just letting his fingers move, not looking for something in particular.

Dick is about to give up when he reads a quote that gets stuck in his head. He is so focused on re-reading the quote that he doesn’t hear the footsteps getting closer, is until he hears the voice of the person near the corner that Dick rips off the page.

“Richard? Are you there?” Nathaniel stands in front of him, Dick pretends to be reading the book.

“Humm?” Dick mumbles looking up and to the man’s face. Nathaniel smiles one of his gentle smiles giving him the creeps. “Sorry I was… kinda trapped in the story.”

“Is alright, is nice to see that you became fond of this place,” Nathaniel says while leaning the bookshelf near him. Dick nods trying not to finch away. “It is one of my favorite too, besides the sunroom, of course.”

“Hmm, yeah, it is nice here.” Dick hums taking back his sight to the open book, pretending he is immersed in the words.

“I am not interrupting anything? I see you are kind of busy with this book?” Dick moves his eyes from the book and into the man’s eyes, he raises his shoulders trying to look nonchalantly.

“No, I was just… checking the book but it is nothing important. Why?”

“Dinner is ready little angel, shall we?” Nathaniel extends his hand and Dick bites the inside of his cheek to not growl.

“Sure.” Dick finally answers moving his attention from his face to the extended hand, Dick grunts but takes it to stand. Nathaniel hums appreciating the touch and begins to return from where he came. Dick takes the opportunity to leave the book where he found it, grasping the page behind his back and securing it inside his trousers. 

_____________

Dick was half sitting half laying on the couch of the sunroom pretending to hear Nathaniel's voice reading out loud from him. He’s been really focused on the poetry he found in the book, repeating and repeating the verse trying to come out with a clear clue about what it means and how it is supposed to help him to know what to do…

_“The caged bird sings with a fearful trill, of things unknown, but longed for still, and his tune is heard on the distant hill, for the caged bird sings of freedom.” _

Obviously is about freedom, _duh_, but the more he thinks about it everything seems more mixed in his brain, but he understands the importance of _time_, he needs to figure it out now. Then, while repeating the verse ‘—_and his tune is heard on the distant hill’, _a sudden thought struck him… what if they need _him_ to send them somehow the location of this place? The sorceress wasn’t found in the many many months where he adapted to the wings and all the events afterward the spell. Clearly she is protecting the location here too, right? That’s why they still can’t find him and they won’t do it until Dick transmits them the place, _but how?_ He isn’t allowed to have a phone or anything; he doesn’t even know where he is. _He needs to found a way of— _

Dick is abruptly pulled out of his thoughts by his jaw being grabbed in a gentle grip but Dick knows by experience than the same grip can become forceful in a matter of seconds, so he decides to loosen up his posture and face.

“Hey… I can see your mind far away from me. What’s going on inside that little head?”

“Nothing… sorry— I was just distracted.” Once the man releases his jaw Dick leans his head in his palm, looking at the open book lying in the man’s hand. Nathaniel rolls his eyes.

“You are a terrible liar, you knew that? Perhaps The Batman isn’t so great like everyone pictures him to be. If he can’t teach properly to lie…”

“You don’t know him at all.” Dick’s tone sounds graver than he had intended but he can’t help it. “He didn’t teach me to lie because he wanted me to be a good man. I guess only the cowards lie because there’s nothing worthy in them.”

“Oh, I detect an issue here, _huh?_ You don’t want me to speak badly of the bat. Why is that?”

“You just don’t know him.” Dick simply states, trying not to make this bigger than it needs to be. But for the way Nathaniel closes the book he knows there is no turning back.

“There’s no need to ruffle your feathers, Richard. We can’t ever talk about this topic because you lose your cool the moment I even mention their names. Let’s have a little chat about that, I don’t like it.” Nathaniel stands and goes to the marble table, he quickly pours from the teapot to the two cups and makes a gesture to him to join him. Dick grunts and walks towards him, regretting have opened his mouth in the first place. He sits trying to show a relaxed posture, nothing that points out the way his belly is twisting with fury. “It won't help if you're defensive before we even start with our chat, Richard.”

“I’m not defensive, I just don’t like talking about them with you. Simple like that.” Dick says honestly, praying that the man just let it be. Dick can’t screw anything of the plan just because he has a big mouth. He needs to _stay calm. _

“You are trying to protect them from me, you don’t trust me enough to have this kind of conversation. You fear that I can use your weakness for them to punish you by hurting them. Richard, I thought we had stated that I won’t touch them as long as you behave, and so far you have been such a great boy. Why the mistrust?”

“Trust takes time to be earned.” Dick takes his cup taking a sip and Nathaniel nods taking his own cup too.

“You are right, but I thought I was clear that your trust, your respect, and… I'd almost could say that your life— belongs to me,” Dick shakes his head but the man raises his finger, making him hush. “And I don’t like that with all this time together you still don’t trust me, don’t see me as your Master. I wonder if the start of this issue has to do with Batman and your loyalty to him and your so-called _family_.”

“What are you implying?” His voice sounds stern for once and the man raises his eyebrow, his lips showing a little smile but oh so creepy that Dick feels his hairs stand up in the back of his neck.

“I am wondering if as long as they are alive you are never going to truly _surrender_… if as long as you have hope of being rescued you will hold into that hope with all your heart. Faith is a dangerous thing, and if I have to crush yours, I am going to do it until there’s nothing else but pieces. And just then, you will be truly _mine_.” 

“Hear carefully what I am going to say,” Dick states dead-serious looking straight into the hazel eyes of the man. “If you dare to touch or hurt my family in any way… I’m going to _end you_, no matter what I have to do or become. You have been underestimating me since the first day and you keep forgetting that I am so much more than a face. You don’t know me; you don’t know what I am capable to _do_.”

“Impressive, I can finally see that little dark side of yours that I have been told about, you keep it deep down in the dark, I see. But, guess what? Everyone has a dark side too… and you don’t want to see mine. I know you better of what you think of, and I can see clearly now what the Bat has done to you… he had stain you worse that I first thought.”

“Yeah? Do you think you know me? You know what I am thinking?” Dick grins and before the man can answer, Dick raises his middle finger. “Fuck you _lunatic_!” Nathaniel slams his hand into his cup shattering it in pieces, Dick jumps with the sharp sound and he looks into the man’s hand and how it begins to bleed, but Nathaniel not even blinks.

“I have been really patient with you, Richard. I have given you everything I can offer to you, the best of the best. I had given you the best food, the best clothes, your own bedroom. I have treated you like a king, with all the comfort you needed. I didn’t make you clean a single dish or make you eat the scraps from my feet. All I was asking in return was your good behavior and at least a little your gratitude.” Nathaniel cleans his bloodied hand with a cloth. He is speaking so softly and somehow that’s worse than hearing him yell.

“Oh!? I should say _‘thank you’_!? Thank you for cursing me with a spell I never wanted? Thank you for using me as an experiment for your lunatic wishes? Thank you for pulling me out of my home and my family and keeping me here against my will? Yeah, I didn’t know I was the stupid ungrateful in this situation.” Dick yells this time, not caring at all if it was the wrong move.

“I can tolerate this behavior because I know you were raised to react this way to protect and defend better the lives of other people before yours. But call me _‘lunatic’?_” Nathaniel shakes his head repeatedly, like if in some old bad memory with that word. “You don’t even know what you really are; you can’t see it beyond what he trained you to be! The Batman only has treated you as a weapon, just a replaceable little Robin. He throws a kid to the streets of a rotten city and you call _me_ lunatic!?” This time he yells, making Dick jump slightly.

“That isn’t true.” He mumbles, much more lucid of the mistake he made. It is not the right time to make him lose his temper… not now that he knows that he has to do.

“He made you believe you were disposable the moment you no longer agreed with him. He taught you that your weakness was always going to be your soft heart, Richard, and that you needed to be heartless just like him. But you are just so blind to see it, too naive to say _no_. You always put yourself at risk, jumping to save someone you don’t even know. The Bat made you believe that another person’s life worth more than yours! Accept it, maybe Bruce Wayne saved you at taking you in, but he is killing your light, stealing your life, and one day your loyalty to him and his legacy is going to be the death of you.” Dick bites the inside of his cheek, trying to hold his tongue and don’t mess this up more. Nathaniel passes a hand through his perfect hair, staining with a bit of blood his face. “You’re special Richard, everyone craves for your attention, everyone wants a piece of you. _But you know what? _They don’t deserve you, _you are only mine_. You think that brute of Red Hood deserves your affection!? Nobody is worthy of you, only _me_.” Dick bites so hardly the inside of his cheek until he feels the taste of blood in his mouth, but he keeps quiet. He won’t give him the satisfaction of making Dick lose his cool too. _He’s stronger than that._ Nathaniel hums and Dick raises his eyes back to him examining his features and posture. He seems calmer but his eyes keep burning with ferocity. “Come with me, I want to show you another of my favorite places.” Nathaniel stands without a second look, Dick takes a deep breath and follows him without asking any question. They walk in silence across the maze of halls and polished white floors, the more they walk the more it seems like a dead-end path. Until the man stops in front of a locked door, he takes one key of the inside of his pocket and unlocks the door. Dick feels the anxiety spreading through his veins when he feels the hand of the man grab his shoulder and drag him inside, Dick is about to ask what is the room when he stays frozen in his place. He feels his belly twisting over and over and he shudders when he feels the man breathe next to his ear. “This is my sanctuary, Richard. This is where I keep my biggest treasures, is not gold or weird gems, those are just crumbs compared with the precious trophies I hold here. No one in the world possesses _this_.” Nathaniel stands in front of him but Dick barely can pay any attention to him. He can’t look away from the numerous frames containing wings from different sizes, some wings aren’t fully developed and a few look just like his. Dick feels his own wings bristle at the sight in front of him. “If you keep defying me I am going to make a portion of you part of this wall _forever_.”

_Oh, fuck_— is the only Dick can think of. This time he asks his lucky stars to give him a little help and get him out of this madhouse ASAP, _damn_, he would even be happy to let Jason finish this guy. He needs to figure it out where the hell he is and do something, _now_. _Patience_, he remembers himself, his family isn’t going to let him down.

Not now, not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a block for a few days and I couldn't do properly the last part of the chapter but finally, I could make it work! I estimate two or top three chapters left :( we are really close to the end and I can't believe how far we had reached. Thank u so much for keep being here, I didn't think this was going to be so long. 
> 
> PD: The book mentioned is written by Maya Angelou and the poem is made by her too.  
PD 2: I was considering making a special appearance in the next chapters, would you like to see a new face or nah? 
> 
> Stay Safe!


	35. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick's and Jason's POV.

_Busy _was the word to describe Jason's schedule in the last weeks. If he wasn’t hunting down some Crime Lord or some gang whether in Gotham or in Blüdhaven, he was stuck at the cave either reading some ancient book about sorceress or scheduling the so-called _‘Plan to Rescue the Heart of the Family’ _or some shit like that. The truth was that he never stopped, _he couldn’t_. He couldn’t afford to have free time; he needed to do something to not let the burning sensation inside him consume him whole. 

He didn’t count the time either, it didn’t help at all. But even if he didn’t count the time since Dick had been abducted he was still hipper aware of every second without him. It still was like an open wound, and nothing in the world helped to stitch the wound effectively. _Yeah_, he did things to keep himself busy and helpful, but those only were temporally distractions, temporally solutions. Soon nothing of the sort would help him to keep his mind elsewhere from the feeling of missing Dick every minute.

Going to the manor still wasn’t that easy, much less seeing the Bat. They were in bad terms, _when they weren’t, right?_ But now it felt worse, the tension when they were in the same room was almost unbearable not only for them but for whoever was present too, so he tried to frequent when the old man wasn’t around. Weird stuff was going on too because it seemed that the brats now were looking at him like the substitute big brother, role that wasn’t meant to be Jason’s but somehow it was kinda working. At least the three hadn’t killed each other yet_._ _So yeah_, Jason keep going even if he was a mess, patrolling was good for him, it keep him centered.

This night seemed quite slow while Jason was roaming up in the top of the buildings, that till he saw a crook causing trouble, _well_, time for business then. But not even 5 minutes later and the encounter was over, _what a pity._

“So you surrender, _huh?_ Just like that.” Jason chuckles dryly under the helmet. The thug in front of him nods raisings his both bloody hands due to his broken nose and then he falls on his knees.

“Please! I’m sorry Red Hood, I— learned my lesson, I won’t do it again!” The thug pleads pathetically and Jason just rolls his eyes getting him up roughly. 

“Yeah, sure. The honor among thieves is something that crawls out in the last moment, I see.” Jason ties up the thug to a pipe near some trash bins. “Sit tight, _dirtbag_. If you ever go near this place again, I am going to kick you out of town.” The moron begins to whimper but Jason ignores him and in a second he is firing his grappling hook and landing in the adjacent roof. He stays a long time there, just looking down the quiet streets and rubbing his gloved hands, _damn_, is fucking cold. Jason pretends not to notice the increasing number of Christmas lights decorating the outside of the houses but he can feel a twitch on his eyes and he groans. Just in time that he sees the red and blue of a police car he hears the familiar buzz of his comn.

“Red Hood, are you there?” The not so familiar voice of Zatanna speaking makes him stand up quickly almost giving him whiplash.

“What’s up, something came out?” Jason can’t help with the eager tone. Every time she calls him Jason is hoping to hear some good news, hoping to hear from _Goldie. _

“No, not yet. But I think I figure it out something meaningful. If you are over for the night, I see you in the cave.”

“I’m on my way.” Ok, even if apparently is nothing so ‘important’ Jason rushes to the cave anyway. Once he leaves his bike he takes off his helmet pushing away the white strand of hair out of his forehead. He walks to the batcomputer briefly peeking at the big screen and to the 24/7 scanner searching for high residues of magic in any part of the world. But so far… _nothing yet_. He ignores the tingle of pain and he finds Zatanna sitting next to Tim and Damian, both look freshly bathed. “What’s up?” Jason growls as a salute and leaves the helmet on top of a table.

“Productive night?” Zatanna asks quietly and Jason shrugs, sitting across from them.

“A slow patrol actually, just some low scums around. Why the meeting?” 

“Zatanna maybe figure it out something about the place where they might have Dick.” Tim goes straight to the point, his face tired but with a tiny hopeful smile. Damian seems collected but he is drumming his fingers on top of the table, probably brooding internally. 

“Perhaps yes, I been reproducing Dick’s memories and feelings from the last time I saw him. I have been trying to connect some dots in case the sorceress had left something more about her or her plan. That’s when I remember about Dick’s dreams. You said that the night she took him Dick had said something about that the place had been in his dreams before, right?” Zatanna taps her hand down in the table looking at Jason attentively.

“Uhhh, yeah. He commented some shit like that.” Jason nods not quite following yet.

“Zatanna thinks that maybe the other dream of Dick can tell us a bit about the place where they might have him,” Tim says biting his finger.

“When Dick stared to have those nightmares I wasn’t here, we were— kinda spaced,” Jason comments awkwardly, _what an idiot._

“Yes, we all remember that time,” Damian growls giving him a sour look and then he looks at Zatanna. “But how that is going to help us at all? Is it still unimportant on finding him because the nightmare itself doesn’t show the location, correct?”

“Not completely,” Zatanna speaks softly, thinking carefully her next words. “Maybe it doesn’t show the location as Damian says, but maybe knowing about the place where he is can give us some pros. We have the draft of a plan, _yes,_ but if we know about the place where Dick may be, it can help to reduce the _‘what ifs’_ and have more solid strategies. Guys, we only have once chance to find him, if we fail maybe he will be lost forever.” Jason bumps his fits against the table, and certainly nobody jumps. 

“That’s not going to happen,” Jason growls feeling his pulse speeding up.

“It won’t. That’s why this new information is maybe crucial. Look,” Zatanna appears some papers out of nothing and puts them on top of the table. “I tried to recreate Dick’s nightmare and then I put together this. He said he saw a big mansion.” Jason looks at what seems a vague illustration, but even so, it looks nicely done. Jason raises his eyebrow. 

“So based in a nightmare, you think the sorceress has him in a mansion? Why? How she afford it? She looked like a homeless drug addict.” Jason can’t help saying and Tim frowns at him.

“C’mon, she has magic, Jay! She gave Dick wings, why not have a mansion?” Tim says and Jason has to nod, because yeah, _good point_.

“Maybe this has more to do with the person whom she works with, that _monsieur_. We can’t go to the war with no clue about where we are going. I am almost certain that the sorceress showed Dick this as a foresight for what was coming his way. She is not the kind that makes errors; everything she did was perfectly planned and had a reason to be. We need to do the same, there’s not opening to mistakes. This needs to be masterminded until the last detail.”

“Ok, it makes sense,” Tim answers still looking at the illustration. “Now that we maybe know the battlefield, we know what to attack and the new contingency plans.”

“We need to be one step ahead of her because the moment we put a foot there, she is going to know it and she is going to be waiting for _us_. We need to assure that she won’t disappear again when the place is compromised. Maybe we are going to need more help.” Zatanna says with a sign.

“Help from whom? I mean, I don’t trust in many people with this kind of rescue… and besides, it might end bloody.” Jason definitely has some allies and friends, but the idea of putting more lives in danger doesn’t sound good.

“Dick has plenty of friends, friends who would drop everything to help him. But I don’t know if Dick will be okay with someone else seeing him with wings… _yet._” Tim adds biting the head of his pen.

“We need someone of trust, someone very close to Dick,” Zatanna says, and then she seems to think for a moment when suddenly she smiles optimistically. “I think I know _who_.”

“I think I know who are you referring to, he will come running, _literally_,” Tim mutters with a smile of his own. Jason feels lost for a moment and then Damian and he doesn’t take long to catch up. _Great._

“Are you referring to the dopey speedster?” Damian doesn’t hide the outraged tone. He neither is a great fan, apparently. 

“And why would we need him for? Don’t you think we need someone else in the field of magic?” Jason sounds irritated because he knows the redheaded and how close he is to Dick, not only that, he is a dork too.

“The only other person I know of trust would be Raven, but last I checked she was in a mission with the Titans. As far as I know, Wally is free and wouldn’t think twice before coming to help. He would be great for a quick extraction and like an extra contingency plan,” Zatanna says like it was obvious. “Look, is a good strategy. If he fits with our final drafts I am going to call him. Having him on our side could help to get Dick out so much faster.”

“I agree! Wally would be eager to help us, he even knows Dick’s identity! I think he is the best option in case things get messy.” Tim points out and Jason has to agree internally because it actually will be a great advantage in rescuing Goldie.

“Look, the plan hasn't changed much… Once Dick transmits his location as best as he can, with the help of the scanner we'll sweep the area seeking high levels of magic to play it safe that’s where Dick will be. Once there, Wally can approach the place without drawing much attention as I would do with my magic. Then John and I will create a strong spell of enclosure around the mansion to not let her go anywhere. We will engage her as best as possible and then it's up to you guys to find Dick and get him out of there. With Wally’s help, it is going to be easier.” 

“I have to admit that West’s powers can be helpful there, perhaps it won’t end so badly then.” Damian grunts with his head rose pridefully. Jason has to agree again, _of course,_ he won’t say it out loud too.

“We will have various things in our favor,” Zatanna says with a confident look. “The time is imminent, Dick is going to contact us very soon, I feel it. We will attack with the element of surprise; we will have John’s dark magic combined with my powers. Wally would be the other element of surprise and in case everything fails, we have the sword Jason found.” She takes a moment to gather her thoughts and then she speaks again. “Dick is your family, your brother,” she says that looking only to Tim and Damian, Jason shifts in his place. “It means you guys are gonna fight fiercely till the end. The sorceress may be very powerful, _yes._ But she didn’t count on the fact that we are willing to give everything to rescue Dick. Love is powerful too, even if magic is involved. Don’t forget that.” 

“Nice pep talk.” Tim smiles at her and even Damian nods.

“Better than the jerk of the Bat ever could,” Jason mutters and then he hears the clearing of a throat so he turns around expecting to meet Bruce’s scowling face but instead is Alfred holding a tray of steaming cups.

“Watch your tongue Master Jason, or I will be forced to implement a swearing jar to raise funds for a new jacket for you.” Jason smiles at the elder as he leaves a cup for everyone.

“Not happening Alf, this jacket is for good luck.” He chuckles taking the cup of what it seems hot chocolate.

“We all know that’s not true, you simply can’t afford a new one, Todd.” Damian grins out but he doesn’t sound wicked, instead, he sounds playful. Before Jason can come with a witty comeback, Tim speaks first.

“We may have a successful draft of a plan going on to rescue Dick. It is a matter of time, Alfie.” Tim takes his cup looking at the proud elder’s face.

“Thank God, Master Timothy. We need to bring back our boy as soon as possible.”

“Now we need to tell Father about the new plan,” Damian growls and everyone in the room seems to sign.

“He can go fuck himself.” Jason grins feeling the stare of Alfred on him.

“That’s it, Master Jason. I am bringing the swearing jar!”

Everyone begins to joke about it and Jason can’t help the little flow of warmth and hope going through him. They are acting like a real fucking family and Jason can’t help to feel good being among them, like if he once again was part of the family. _Oh Goldie, you will love to see this._

_____________

Jason was laying in his bed, the cheap mattress doing little metallic sounds every time he moved. Pretending to sleep was easier than actually sleep. He could see the lights flickering from outside his window, the mix of colors changing from green to red. He was sick of those colors, _fucking Christmas_. He was tempted to yell at his neighbors to turn off the fucking lights because, _seriously?_ Even if Christmas was around the corner that didn’t mean everyone wanted to celebrate, some people were miserable just like him. He had never been a fan of this season, not since he can remember. But he’s been thinking about last year's Christmas and how Dick had found him and tried to bring him to the manor to spend holidays there, of course, Jason had declined rather rude but Dick unaffected as always had decided to by any means spend a little of time with him. (Apparently, Dick didn’t want him to spend such an important date alone) At that moment Jason still didn’t have thought properly about his feelings but it honestly had kinda warmed him. 

But now Dick wasn’t here to remind him that he didn’t need to be the Grinch in this season. He would be telling him to have more patience, even if Jason lacked that strength. So Jason (and all the bats and the two magicians and the possible added speedster associated with them temporally) was not giving up. _Not now, not ever._ Jason knew that he couldn’t go back to ‘normal’ anymore, what was normal anyway? Return all alone and angry at his safe house after patrolling to be just him and no one else? Beat the crap out of some scums on a regular basis when that didn’t fill the void anymore? His life was supposed to be this empty when before he felt that this way he was ‘satisfied’? 

He had found meaning, a reason to keep doing what he did and fight in a screwed city just because he knew that only this way he was going to be enough for _him_. That somehow helping and cleaning the city would purge that darkness inside him and help him repay all his debts. He wasn’t going to quit until he found him.

Jason hears the unmistakable sound of the window being open and his security system being disabled. He closes his eyes pretending not to hear the intruder walk silently and open the door to his room cautiously. Jason rolls his eyes internally because… _really?_ This person was his replacement? He feels that something is being thrown to his direction and Jason catches the item in the air. He opens his eyes giving Tim his best attempt for a bat glare and the teenager just grumbles.

“How did you know I wasn’t sleeping?” Jason observes better the item in his hand and he stays frozen when he realizes what it is. It is a tiny Christmas crystal ball but instead of a fatty Santa Claus there is a Nightwing’s figure with a cute Christmas hat, Jason feels his heart throbbing. 

“I knew for a fact that you were awake. Most of the time you look like a drunken pirate anyway, you barely sleep Jason.”

“And had you look yourself in the mirror, uh? You look like a dying punk.”

“Touché.” Tim sits on the end of his bed and Jason can’t help to kick him slightly, Tim just rolls his eyes.

“Where did you found this?” Jason asks more softly glancing back at the crystal ball.

“In a store, you will be surprised by how many merch there is of us. I thought you would like it, maybe as a reminder of him or something. Well, I know that any way you remember him all the time, but yeah—” Tim shrugs shyly, Jason chuckles.

“Thanks, Timbo,” Jason says awkwardly putting the crystal ball on top of the bedside drawer. Tim nods awkwardly as well.

“How I didn’t get one crystal ball too?” The grumpy voice of Damian is heard and Jason grunts. _Where is the privacy?_

“I can get you one if you want. I assumed that Damian Wayne isn’t much of a fan about Christmas décor.” Tim smirks at him and the demon makes a dismissive gesture.

“I am not, but if Todd gets one then I should too— and after all is a Nightwing’s figure. Grayson adores this season, when we get him back he would certainly like that item.”

“How the heck you both find out this place?” Jason interrupts the sore topic and stands from his bed to light up a cigarette, maybe they will run off because of the smell.

“I follow you.” “I hacked your new phone.” Both brats answer at the same time.

“_Great_, what pair of creeps you are.” Jason jokes giving his back to them, but neither seems to care.

“You think we are going to find him before Christmas?” Tim sounds once again like a lost puppy and before Jason can answer Damian speaks.

“I'd be more than wrathful if not. I won’t let someone ruin this season to Grayson. Soon enough we will have news from him and we will be _ready_.”

Oddly they both begin to discuss about it and Jason finishes his last drag and throws the cigarette away. He drops once again into the mattress and glances at the crystal ball. _Damn you, Dickie_, _I wish you were here._

_____________

If Jason had once thought that finishing out the so-called plan was going to be easy, _he was very wrong._ They had finally a solid plan, perfected from endless long arguments and some bickering. Now they were just polishing the final details and the things that needed more attention. He was trying to be helpful and kept his mouth shut of any offensive comment. The truth was that everyone in this room had contributed with valuable ideas, even if everyone had different strategies and very different points of view of how things _should_ end. He hears Bruce grunting and Jason fights the impulse of hitting the old man for the fourth time in a minute, instead, Jason lifts his sight from the several drafts, tablets, and papers from the table to him. The old man looks under stress even if he appears to be devoid of any emotion like he always is, but for the way he pinches the bridge of his nose every time Damian speaks, Jason knows that B is on the edge of losing his temper for once and that won’t end well for anyone. _Thankfully_, Tim seems to notice the same as him so he clears his throat.

“I think that’s all we need. It covers all the unexpected things that might happen and we also have thousands of contingency plans. I have high hopes for this.” Tim speaks softly, bringing the attention back to him.

“We need more than your opinion, Drake. This is not another ordinary mission, this is about Grayson’s life. We need all the certainty that this is going to actually work. There are no second chances, there’s no window to any mistakes. This needs to be impeccable.” Damian glares at Tim with intensity and Zatanna nods with a slight nod. 

“Damian is right, everyone needs to stick to the plan perfectly, otherwise it won’t work unless we work as the hands of a clock. Everyone needs to do exactly as planned.”

“Lucky for you, you have me,” the voice of Constantine makes Jason look briefly at the video-call of the magician. For a moment he had forgotten about him. He rolls his eyes.

“What a relief,” Jason mutters.

“With John on our side we have more equivalent power with the sorceress, he won’t let her escape.” Zatanna smiles quickly at the screen, but Jason can notice the tiny moment.

“Hopefully, love.” Constantine grins making a gesture with his cigarette. Damian growls now.

“You better, magician,” Damian leaves his katana on the table for emphasis and Jason has to agree.

“In my opinion, everything sounds really good!” The voice of Wally makes Jason grunt under his sleeve. The speedster as planned hadn’t thought twice and had literally run to the cave. After an extensive explication of the almost last year’s events beginning with the warehouse and the curse, and ending with this plan to bring Dick home, Wally had been speechless. He couldn’t believe it at first, and then he had been momentarily offended that his best friend hadn’t told him about such an important thing. But here he was, helping and ready with the plan. _Jason didn’t like him anyway._

“You have been awfully quiet this evening, what’s in your head, Jason?” Tim has to ask, pulling him out of his thoughts. Jason feels eyes on him and he just shakes his head.

“Nothing, just thinking about the probabilities.”

“The pros seem to be in our side, thanks to you Dick now knows what he has to do, he just needs to sharpen his mind a little bit more and I will be able to finally reach him. Trust me, this is going to work.” Zatanna gives him a confident nod and points discretely at the sword laying on the center of the room. “The sword is a signal; it means that fate is playing an important role here, perhaps is in our side too.”

“And why Todd is apparently the key to everything?” Damian demands crossings his arms, Wally raises his eyebrow but he doesn’t stop devouring from his bag of pretzels crisps.

“Like the rest of us, he has an important role in this plan. But it is because of his bond with Dick that allowed me to be the link and feel Dick stronger with every day. Without that, perhaps I'd have lost him.”

“And that supposed bond is reciprocated just as strongly?” Damian frowns staring blankly at Zatanna. Jason feels his head plodding with a new headache.

“_Bond?_ What bond?” Wally has to ask, _of course_.

“This isn’t important right now.” Jason ignores the curious look of the redhead and instead tries to change the topic but it doesn’t work. He notices the way Bruce seems to burst out of his bubble and pay the conversation more attention, _oh fuuck_. 

“Yeah, of course, is reciprocated, if it weren’t many things wouldn’t have worked the way they did. The strong emotion was the essential factor that the sorceress wasn’t anticipating.” Zatanna answers not noticing or not caring the way the mood changes in mere seconds. Tim coughs pretending to read something, Wally stops eating the damn pretzels, Damian frowns with a look of honest bewilderment and Bruce tenses immediately. 

“Strong emotion!? Between who?” Wally keeps insisting and Jason feels the need to knock him out. “I am not following.”

“I did not have foreseen that those feelings were actually so in-depth,” Damian mumbles at the same time but more to himself, Jason anyway hears him, and of course also everyone else in the damn cave. _Fucking shit_, Jason feels the tip of his ears getting red when Bruce makes a grimace.

“What do you mean with ‘those feelings?” Bruce inquires with a raised eyebrow. Jason curses under his breath and the room stays silent for a moment, but then the silence is interrupted with a fake cough coming from Constantine’s video-call.

“Well, _hmm_, I have shit to do. Adios.” Zatanna takes the cellphone and pretends to message something while she walks away from the table. Jason lifts his sight to the gloom stare of Bruce. 

“To be the greatest detective, sometimes you are blind as a mole, Father,” Damian growls and Tim barely can hide the chuckle, Wally smiles but immediately he wipes it when Bruce gives him a side look.

“Excuse me?” Bruce asks to Damian clearly offended.

“Can somebody enlighten me? I am kinda lost here. Nobody mentioned anything about Dickie having a thing for—”

“We have more important things to discuss.” Jason hurries to interrupt whatever thing Wally was about to say and the speedster seems to catch his murderous look because he shuts his mouth once again. Bruce only tightens his jaw.

“We are going to talk about this later, Jason,” Bruce says with a calmed tone but his eyes are hard on him. Jason feels his fits tightening.

“This is not of your fucking incumbency, you have no right to ask anything.”

“Of course I have the right, we are talking about—”

“Jason is right, I think this isn’t something relevant right now. We still hadn’t decided about what we are going to do with the sorceress and her accomplice.” Tim tries to help and change the subject but he chooses exactly the point breaker of the meeting. This is the part that they have been fighting about all day.

“Easy, if I give in into a Lazarus-Pit-mode I am going to tear apart whoever gets in my way.”

“You are not going to kill anyone, Jason.” Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose like every time that Jason says something like that. Jason slams his fit against the table tossing around the papers. Wally scratches the back of his neck and stealthily moves away from the imminent conflict about to explode.

“You keep repeating that over and over, and I know you aren’t changing your mind.” Jason stands and walks toward Bruce, looking him straight in the eyes. “Guess what? _Neither do I_. If I have to put a bullet between that person’s eyes I’m going to do it whatever you like it or not. This is not for discussion, the majority in this room agrees with me.”

“We have agreed that just in the case that the sorceress is in greatest advantage than us, or that we were in imminent danger of losing the battle, then and only then we could finish her for the danger she represents for Dick, for us and the many innocent people that she still might kill. But we hadn’t discussed about the other party involved. You can just sentence him to death without knowing all the facts surrounding him. We need to know why this person is involved in the first place and what is his part in this plot.”

“I told you from the beginning that the moment I find her, I’m going to fucking kill her, and now knowing she works with someone, it doesn’t change anything.”

“How are you quick to give a judgment about a person whom you don’t know anything about? How are you so quick to sentence death?” Bruce looks fiercely at him, showing false empathy.

“And how are you so quick to forget someone who kidnapped Dick and took him away from us!?”

“I am not forgetting anything, I am just being the more objective that I can be. I can’t let my emotions cloud my judgment; I won’t cross the line, Jason.”

“Lucky for you… _I will_.” Jason says with a fake smile, Bruce takes a deep breath.

“Guys—” Tim tries to cool out the atmosphere but neither he nor Bruce are ready to drop the subject, not when they are running out of time and this is _crucial_. 

“No, this discussion ends _now_. I’m tired of hearing the same empty and stupid argument you always pull out. If this person has touched a single hair of Dick or has hurt him in any way I am going to fucking kill him too. I’m not going to allow you to drag him in a prison where he can escape or sleep peacefully for the rest of his life, when Dick may fear that somewhere around that person is still breathing in the shadows.”

“Death is easier Jason, and don’t you think that I am angry too? That I am trying to control myself knowing what they may be doing to Dick? I regret many things Jason, but crossing the line won’t change anything either. Think for a moment of Dick and how it would make him feel if you kill that said person for him but when in reality it will be for _your_ revenge. Besides, I wouldn’t send him to some prison where he may escape, I would send them to a place where he would wish to be _dead._” Jason stays quiet for a moment, considering Bruce’s words.

“Damn,” he hears Wally murmur, and he notices that Bruce was sounding more like the Bat than himself. That simple tone would have sent any other man trembling to his knees, but Jason isn’t any other man. He raises his face giving him a fierce look.

“This is my deal; if the situation gets tough or Goldie’s life is in danger, I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger. If everything goes smoothly as planned, I am going to beat the crap of that said person, and then I will consult with Goldie, he would decide what to do.” Jason answers finally, the room seems to breathe in sync. Bruce nods stiffly but he does. When Bruce is about to add something else, the startling voice of Zatanna is heard.

“Is Dick… _I feel him!”_ Jason turns around fast and feels his legs like jelly.

“What? Can you feel where he is?” Jason draws near to her and suddenly she extends her hand to his forehead, Jason blinks perplexed but lets her touch him, he hears the voices of the others but a sudden and intense mix of emotions and feelings involves him and the only thing he can hear and feel is _Dick_.

_____________

Dick had learned that time advanced not as usual in this place; there was something odd about the clock, something odd about the vibe in the air, he couldn’t hear any sound from outside the walls, like if nothing existed beyond this château. One day he had asked the sorceress about it, about why things here didn’t make sense at all, and her answer had been rather accurate. “_This place takes what it wants from you and makes you forget you ever had it in the first place” _she had said, he understood it now.

Dick was feeling anxious, he was feeling antsy every time he looked outside the window to see nothing more than white snow covering everything, he could see the snowflakes falling down towards the frozen grass. Somehow it looked pleasing to his eyes, but at the same time it was like a warning, it meant that time was running out with every day that more snow fell. 

He hasn’t entirely sure about the deadline, but for the way Nathaniel seemed to disappear for more time and for the way he acted, Dick knew something was coming. And then he had seen it, _the invitation_. It was printed in some kind of velvety white paper announcing the ‘event of the year’ and the date was right there if only Dick could tell how long till that day. He was pacing back and ford, trying to sharpen his mind to reach Zee, even if he still couldn’t figure it out about where the hell he was. He had earned a black eye just for bringing out the question about where they were, so he didn’t risk asking again. _However,_ the other day he had encountered something that maybe it wasn’t for him to see— a newspaper in Greek. He knew the basics of the language but unfortunately, there wasn’t something meaningful about a country or something related, even so, the newspaper itself could be the clue he needed. _If only he could tell his family that._

Dick grunts and adjusts better the coat around his shoulders, it was winter, and going around in only trousers almost had given him flue. So now he had a nice and cozy coat to shield himself better, of course, this coat was designed to show his wings but _well_, at least it was comfortable. He walks out of his prison-room and wanders for the vast halls, he is so bored that he could even prefer to pick up a fight with the sorceress instead of this looming silence. But she isn’t here, she comes back in the night to disturb his dreams and then disappear again. Nathaniel spends most of the mornings and half the evenings setting up his party or whatever he wants to call it, so Dick begins to spend a lot of time alone in this snowy fortress. He already tried to break a window, find some way out, but the place seems assured brink by brink. But he won’t give up, his gut tells him to keep looking. 

_Comically_, the answer to his questions comes in a rather absurd way.

One day he is so deep in his thoughts that he is walking with his eyes closed without noticing and he almost falls off the stairs, he grips tightly from the marbled banister just in time and he can’t help but laugh_, seriously?_ _He is Nightwing! How he lost his steps!? _He sits on the cold stairs and casually glances up at the stunning ceiling. He stares for several minutes and then something catches his attention, he notices for the first time a sunroof at the top of the oval-shaped ceiling, he can’t see clearly from the ground but something tells him that maybe the glass there isn’t bulletproof like in the rest of the mansion. He debates for a moment the best way to climb up there, if only he had his grappling hook he would be there in a sec. He walks to the corner of the stairs and climbs to the banister for a better perspective, looking closely at the pair of columns attached to the wall, _he can climb that_. On top there are some statues bathed on gold embellishing the design, _he can climb that too_. The problem is that the decorations don’t cover the entire wall to the top, there are only patters of gold but nothing solid to hold into to reach the windows up there, and is fairly high.

He takes _one minute_ and without thinking in too much anymore he just begins to climb the closest column, he grunts when the coat gets in the way and he takes it off dropping it on the floor, he is left in a t-shirt and he tries not to shiver, ok, _time to work_. Luckily he is a circus boy, and luckily he is so light that he has no problems with the rise, he uses his wings for equilibrium, so he keeps climbing until he reaches the top of the pillar and there’s very little room to put his feet there, so he holds tightly to the angel’s statue to not fall. He looks down and he isn’t that high yet, so he keeps climbing until he reaches the oval-shaped part of the ceiling.

_Shit_, he tries to scan the wall in case there is another thing to hold but at that moment his feet slip and he doesn’t have time to grip to anything, Dick yelps and falls backward but his instincts tell him to wave his wings and _he does_, he ends grunting and sitting on his ass on the hard stairs but he didn’t sprain any limb, his wings slowed down the fall. A new idea occurs to him, _what if he tries to fly up there? _

He giggles for several minutes thinking is a stupid idea, he can’t fly!

_But… what if he can? _Dick leaves aside for a moment the skepticism and waves his wings, stretching them high admitting that they are big enough to lift his height without a problem. He never tried before; it wouldn't hurt to try, right? So without more hesitation he waves and waves them, giving a jump off the floor trying to launch himself up like a bird would do. It takes many many tries but suddenly Dick jumps and flaps his wings successfully lifting him off the floor, Dick yelps when he realizes he is no longer on the floor and instead he is fucking actually on the air, for the emotion he didn’t calculate how to grip to the window once he is there and he slams into the wall, he holds into a tiny space and he keeps flapping his wings to not fall, smiling broadly at the new goal unlocked. Oh my god, _he is fucking flying!_

“Shit!” Dick grins like a madman and he can’t help to laugh of excitement. Dick grips strongly to the window-frame and he notices that there is a little space that he didn’t notice from the floor. It is like a little window of what it could be ventilation, _and is open_, not wide enough to his body to pass through but enough to poke his head out. He feels his cheeks freezing with the chilly air but he barely gives it a though, he tries to turn around and get a better perspective of the surroundings of the house from on high. Dick takes his first deep breath of real fresh air and he can’t help to let out a cry, it’s been so long time trapped that at one point he believed that the rest of the world didn’t exist anymore, or maybe he was begging to disappear. Dick feels a snowflake land in his face and suddenly everything feels real again and he feels authentic once more. Dick pokes his head out a little more and he closes his eyes, reaching Zatanna, his house, his family, _Jason_. He tries to reach them with all his might, he feels the connection, and once again that presence in his mind, he almost cries of relief.

_‘I don’t know where I am but I am cold and is snowing and probably I am halfway across the world but please come for me… I found a newspaper in Greek and that’s my only hint. I am sorry sorrysorry—’_

Dick mumbles in his mind over and over praying that they can hear him, they need to know he is OK. All of a sudden he doesn’t feel cold anymore, there's something warm but at that moment Dick’s wings feel fatigued and he slips off the window and once again into the air, Dick falls but manages to wave his wings to avoid a disastrous fall, he tumbles on his butt and then he hears accelerated footsteps.

“Richard? What are you doing?” Nathaniel’s voice sounds behind his back.

_Oh heck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, just two chapters to end this fic <3  
Are you excited just like I am? 
> 
> Thanks for the comments, the kudos, and the love. Stay safe <3


	36. Angel With A Shotgun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They say before you start a war  
You better know what you're fighting for  
Well, baby, you are all that I adore  
If love is what you need, a soldier I will be."

_It _had been_ a bold thing on his part to think that the events of this day were to take place in an uncomplicated or at least predictable manner. _

Dick had said for the thousandth time the same sentence he always used when he was caught in the middle of something suspicious, _‘I can explain it.’ _Excusing himself to Nathaniel that he had been playing on the banister had been too easy; it could be attributed to its overactive nature and constant need to be in motion, but pretend that he had sprained his ankle being an acrobat wasn’t that easy. Nathaniel had given him that look between wariness and sharpness but otherwise, he had believed him and currently was poking and examining his right ankle. It did hurt just a little but not in the way he had made believe to Nathaniel. Dick was just trying to distract him, make him forget momentarily why he was sitting there on his ass with his feathers in a fuss. He had gained a scolding and a reminder that he had a functional training room. _Dick was too distracted to really care._

“I’m much better now, boy scout promise,” Dick repeats again when the man keeps rubbing his ankle with his palm, Dick is so done with all the touching. 

“Let me indulge you a little. I’ve been leaving you alone for many hours these last weeks, even if it is for a greater good. The fête is just around the corner so I've been very busy, but that isn’t an excuse to neglect you.” Dick sighs internally when the man once again begins to relate his plans about sharing with a small elite group about the breakthrough _of ‘an angel walking among them’, _even if Dick never asks him about it. The man certainly loves the sound of his own voice too. Dick had been very anxious about the whole party thing, but now that he was pretty much sure that his family might be coming for him at any moment, it felt like one weight less among the many more concerns on his head. Now, with the hope blooming in his heart he feels strengthened and more like his usual self; ready to cope with whatever comes his way. He just needed to keep Nathaniel busy and with any luck, the sorceress would still be away for the day. _Unfortunately_, his short-lived comfort was cruelly cut off when the door squeaks announcing the arrival of someone. _Shit._

“I found some feathers on the stairs. Someone was twirling his wings around?” The sorceress purrs walking inside the room. Dick feels chills going down his spine when he catches sight of her icy eyes. _What is she doing here? She wasn’t supposed to return ‘till the night?_ Instead, Nathaniel barely acknowledges her. 

“Just Richard doing some stunts on the stairs, can you believe him? You can’t take the boy out of the circus, I guess.” Nathaniel mocks rather rude and Dick tries not to roll his eyes. The sorceress nods while giving a curious look to his ankle.

“But I’m fine now,” Dick assures while trying to remove Nathaniel’s hand, the man just shakes his head putting an ice pack against his skin.

“Don’t be stubborn, Richard.” The man smiles and gives him a soft look but underneath it, there is the unspoken rule of not contradict him again, so Dick shuts his mouth for now. After various minutes of silence, a little beep is heard, Nathaniel directs his eyes to his Smart-Watch with a little frown. “Hmm, I have something to take care of quickly. _Maeve_, would you?” The sorceress nods forcefully getting closer to the sofa (where he was dumped for the last hour and something) and Dick feels his muscles begin to tense. “Put him a bandage and afterward send him to my office.” The man pinches Dick’s cheek and leaves without looking back. Regardless of feeling immensely anxious, Dick knows he needs to play his cards right and not let the sorceress _quite literally_ smell the anxiety coming from him. So naturally, Dick opens his mouth. 

“You don’t look like a qualified nurse so excuse my mistrust. I can do it myself.” Dick speaks smoothly, even giving the sorceress a wink. He takes off the ice pack from his ankle and nonchalantly begins to unwrap the bandage to put it around the area, but she grabs his hand and brushes it away. Dick looks up at her with wariness.

“Tell me _how_…” she speaks unexpectedly soft, putting a hand on his ankle. “_How_ is that you can jump off a building with your eyes closed, but you twisted your ankle for a simple stumble on the stairs?” She sneers with a well-too-knowing look on her eyes so Dick just shrugs.

“I am dumbfounded too, you know? Maybe I lost my charm because of your constant spite towards me.” Dick jokes too trying not to flinch when she slowly traces her long nails on his skin. Dick sees a red light on his mind so he flexes his muscles ready to fight back if necessary. 

“Does it still hurt?” She asks after a few seconds looking back at him so Dick shakes his head mumbling a ‘Nah’. She nods with a smirk and before Dick can anticipate her intentions she mumbles a “_Good_,” and suddenly squeezes hard around his ankle, Dick feels instantly the pain exploiting and he can’t help but yelp in surprise trying to punch her but is useless against her strength and she only increases her grip. Distantly Dick seems to hear a _crack _and feel red hot pain spreading on his entire ankle. “Now is true that you twisted your ankle, Nightwing.” 

“Twisted!? It feels much more than that!!” Dick yells biting his lip to not whimper. He tries to bend to see better the damage but she jostles him away. Dick grunts and takes several deep breaths trying to push the pain away as much as he can. 

“Oops, sometimes I cannot control my strength. Now you do have a reason to limp properly, though.” She speaks casually grabbing a new ice pack and putting on the ankle, Dick groans with the contact and the feeling of numbness creeping around the area. He can see how her hand is beginning to imprint on his skin so he tries to not move his leg while she wraps lazily the bandage around the ankle with the ice pack. “It is a hairline fracture, so stop whining about it. Be grateful that I am putting ice on it.”

“_Grateful!?_ Wow, then excuse my ignorance by not being thankful for your fucking savagery!” Dick says gritting his teeth but then he was to bite his lip to not curse when she begins to wrap the bandage _too tight_. He won’t give her the satisfaction anymore, so he stays silent while she finishes with the tight dressing in silence. He had been through a lot of fractures in the course of his life, so he knows this isn’t indeed way too serious but it will need a proper cast eventually, something he won’t get here. The pain is still there, and he knows it won’t disappear just like that. “I am being too ungrateful in asking for some painkillers?” he asks sarcastically, so the sorceress ignores him. 

“Move,” she orders bluntly at him with a somber expression. Dick grunts but obeys seeing that she is acting all stiff and more bitch than always. He feels lightheaded once he is standing so he leans on the back of the sofa for support trying to put all his weight on the left foot and not in the broken one.

“What? Now you want to make me do some tricks or something?” Dick tries to sound hostile but instead, he sounds pitiful to his own ears, he can start to feel the sweat going down his temple. “You’re the worst thing I’ve ever known, you know?” She doesn’t bite at the provocation and simply walks out of the room knowing Dick has to follow. He growls but goes after her knowing how easily she can break something else. Dick limps all the way to Nathaniel’s office; by the time they are on the same floor Dick is slightly panting and all sweaty. Every move sends a thrill of agony to his ankle, and she is fucking enjoying every time he hisses. Once they almost reach the door she _suddenly_ stops walking and shoots him a smug look.

“Did it work?” she asks out of nowhere, Dick freezes and looks puzzled at her.

“What the hell do you mean?”

“You do really think I am brainless? Perhaps you consider yourself a performer, but you cannot fool someone who can see right through you. You sent a distress call to your clan,” She doesn't wait for a response or a denial, she just gives him a smirk. “So I am asking… did it work?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, maybe you finally succumbed to your insanity and now you are seeing things that aren’t real.” Dick grunts touching the wall for stability because he feels like he could fall for the sudden spike of horror growing in him. 

“So tell me, _Nightwing_, what’s real and what’s not then? How can you tell that this is real and not an invention of your delusional mind?” She approaches him slowly. “How are you sure that you aren’t still trapped in the white room? The pain in your ankle is even real?” Dick gulps remembering that place and he can’t help but shudder at the idea. _No, this is real._

“Your mental games don’t work on me anymore.” 

“Did it work then? Are they coming for you?” Dick looks in horror at her, his expression so sudden that he can’t deny it in time. But is useless, she has that knowledgeable look on her face, that spark of joy like if she was anticipating everything. “Good_._ Now we just have to wait for them.”

“Wh—” The moment he opens his mouth she pounces at him grabbing his hair in a harsh grip making him lose his support on the wall. Dick tries not to lose his balance but nevertheless he feels the shock of pain in his ankle. She grips with her other hand his chin painfully and speaks venomously in his ear.

“You were naïve enough to believe that there was going to be an open window within your reach?” She laughs at him tightening her grip and making him grunt. “Or that miraculously you were going to find that newspaper? Or find that precise book with the poem in the library? That was me, Pretty Bird. You really thought that you were _free_?”

“Why? Why would you do that?” Dick can’t think of something else to say, an increased flow of thoughts are clouding his mind with panic and fear. His family is coming for _him_ and she is waiting for _them_.

“I told you from the beginning to not underestimate me; you didn’t think that sooner or later I was going to notice your pathetic connection with the conjurer? Or with that brute of Red Hood? I knew what you were up to even before you knew it yourself. I must admit that it came as a surprise, perhaps I did not take very seriously to that witch.” She licks her cheek and Dick closes his eyes. “Hmm… finally, you smell once again so _sweet_. But is not fear for you, is it for _them_, isn’t it? You never learn, always the hero. Why don’t we go with the Monsieur and we tell him the snitch slut you are?”

“Maeve? What are you doing?” Nathaniel asks from the hall and Dick opens his eyes looking at him. The sorceress throws him to the floor and Dick maneuvers himself to fall smoothly and not flat on his face. 

“This place is compromised. The Bat knows we are here and he is coming with his entire rabble for us. Choose wisely our next move, _chérie_.” She informs him steadily, Nathaniel seems to think for a moment and then he stops looking at her and focuses his attention on Dick with cero composed fury.

“And how is that the Bat managed to track us?” He hisses clenching his teeth.

“Your birdy here is a traitor, he figured out a way to send them a clue to where look for him. It won’t take long for them to arrive so we need to be prepared. Should I get ready our escape? Pick up your most precious belongings to the safe house?”

“_No_, Batman doesn’t kill and I am not a coward to run off by the slightest complication along the way. Certainly, I wasn’t expecting this setback having the date of my event so close, but you won’t have a problem with killing them regardless of the clowns he will bring with him, right?”

“No! Wait! She is betraying you! She just confessed to being the one to help me to reach for them. How would I have done it myself? She wants you only for herself, she’s obsessed with you! _Please_, don’t hurt them, you can do anything to me but leave them—”

“Do not assume to know the truth behind my actions,” She snaps interrupting him. “How dare you to think for a moment that I am such a pitiful thing like you? Unlike you, I do not crave for attention. I do not have to give any explication to you.” She spats and then she looks at Nathaniel attentively. “If I did what I did it was because you needed to see his true self. Nevertheless of his beauty, he is ugly too, and he won’t hesitate to betray you over and over again. I have seen his kind before, he will never submit to you. He isn’t worthy of all you have done for him. _He is not your angel_. Have I ever been wrong before?” Nathaniel stays quiet for a moment and then a new expression painted his face making Dick feel real fear when those betrayed eyes land on him. 

“Fine, but I will take from him what is _mine _first_._ In the meantime kill 'em all and then we’ll leave.”

“No!” Dick stumbles on his feet ready to attack him but he feels the sting of something pricking his neck. Dick touches the area sideways looking at the sorceress holding an empty syringe. _Is too late though_, he feels his sight getting blurry and his feet stagger when the drug begins to take effect instantly. He tries to fight it, but it must be potent. The last thing he sees is the face of the sorceress smiling down at him.

_____________ 

Jason was somewhat concerned that his attention was so fragmented, but honestly, everything had seemed to unfold as in a high-speed video. They had checked with the scanner and after sweeping the area meticulously they had detected a peak of residual energy in Greece that matched with Dick’s rushed words, so the course was settled in a heartbeat. They were already prepared to leave so there wasn’t any hesitation and without further ado, they were in the Batplane. The foggy sight of Gotham had disappeared being replaced by a clear sky. Having the great advantage of the magic on their side (Constantine had appeared out of the blue, ready, and with a carton of cigarettes as a good-luck present. Bruce hadn't found it amusing, but his help was very much appreciated) they were able to miraculously shorten their journey to an ocean away from Dick. _Now they weren’t that far from him. _The closer they got, the more energy the scanner picked giving them progressively a more accurate location, and by the time that they were about 25 minutes left the scanner was shining like a fucking Christmas tree, so they were getting ready. While Jason was cleaning his helmet to keep his hands busy he was distantly hearing the background chatter of the others.

“—so when we bring her down the time will be crucial, hopefully, it would be enough for you guys to find Dick and if possible, perhaps we will be able to make her undo the spell, but I don’t want to give any hope to Dick.” Jason grips his helmet on his lap, trying to return to his previous mindlessness state and not focus on them or the fact that it all started with those wings and now Dick may or may not be able to choose to keep them. Everyone was going over the plan for the million time, it seemed somehow therapeutic to them so he didn’t comment about it.

“You think he would like to do that?” Tim asks doubtfully. “I mean, he is very fond of the wings already. It would be weird to see him without them, honestly,”

“Whatever Grayson chooses, it is our duty to stand by him. I am sure he will do the right choice.” Damian lifts his chin proudly.

“You think he is ok?” Wally asks changing the topic, he has that dumb expression on his face and Jason has to constantly remind himself that everyone in this plane is feeling as anxious as him. Bruce was twisting his mouth in that way which meant he was struggling in what to say so Tim speaks first. 

“He’s tough; he knows how to go through anything that comes his way.” 

“Of course, Grayson is made of steel as much as he is graceful.” The demon speaks as confident as always but this time he seems to be reassuring himself a bit more, Jason can’t blame the brat.

“He knocked down villains even before he gave his first kiss, he’s ok,” Zatanna adds with a little comforting smile, Jason tries not to grin. But even so, that ugly feeling keeps crawling through his skin like little prickles. _Yeah_, Dick was stubborn, but a person can’t hold all the weight of the world and not break. However that wasn’t his only concern, by far, this was his biggest mission and he was so afraid of _fuck it up_. Jason had thought thousands of times before what he would do when he faced the sorceress face to face again. He planned even what he was going to say when he could finally put his sword through her throat and finish this nightmare once for all. But now though, _shit, _it was like he had forgotten everything.

“We’re going to start lowering the altitude, so stay sharp,” The old man informs from his spot piloting, his voice all business indicating that Bruce is now in Batman mode. “It is a remote area, far enough away to be almost inaccessible without a ship or a plane. It is the perfect place to vanish and not be found.” He declares after a moment and Zatanna nods.

“Is far away from the map, it doesn’t seem to be claimed by anyone, so it’s almost like a ghost island.”

“If we don’t die, I am definitely going to get me an island like this,” Constantine says with a smirk, and Wally agrees looking at the window. 

“We are 15 minutes from the location so let's stop with the nonsense,” Zatanna says looking directly at Constantine and he raises his hands amusingly. “Comms are ready so remember to update your status every ten minutes, just as a precaution. Wally, the moment the plane is on the ground you know what you have to do.” Zatanna speaks directly to the speedster so Wally puts on his cowl giving her thumbs up.

“The main goal is to find Dick and get him to safety, after doing so we can focus on the procedure bargained once we have the situation under control,” Bruce says and if he is trying to give them some kind of pep talk he is failing poorly. “Everyone knows their role and knows what to do in case something unforeseen happens. Just like Zatanna said, report your status so that everyone is informed of any eventuality that may appear. Be prepared for whatever may happen along the way.”

“In Batman words, good luck,” Tim says simply and Jason can’t help but smirk.

“Don’t mess this up, or I will kill you all,” Jason mumbles getting a few roll eyes but he lets out a bit of tension. 

“I am searching for a place to land. We need to keep the element of surprise as long as possible.” Batman ignores his words but Jason seems to see a tiny imperceptible tug up of his mouth. Jason glances at the panorama outside the glass noticing a forest painted white by the snow still falling. For several minutes the landscape doesn’t change, only what seems an eternal frozen forest ahead of them and nothing else. “I am seeing a clear spot just in front of us, get ready to—”

“Batman, watch out!” Zatanna suddenly says when a big bright green bolt heads for their path ready to impact them so Batman makes an emergency maneuver dodging the projectile just in time. Everyone clings to their belts simultaneously at the sudden stunt and before Jason can curse properly more projectiles come in the way.

“Bullocks, so much for our anonymity,” Constantine exclaims as he begins to conjure a spell, runes appear from his hands and in a moment the whole plane is wrapped in a brilliant sphere. There’s a moment of silence and then the rest of the projectiles begin to impact with the sphere protecting the plane, which ends making turbulence. “Hold tight!” Constantine yells while he keeps his hands up resisting every impact. “It won’t resist many more hits, she has weighing powers. Zee?”

“We need to land!” Zatanna says trying to help Constantine in maintaining the spell when more impacts hit them. “A single hit and the entire plane would blow up.”

“There!” Tim points to a little open clear between the big trees, is a risky landing but staying in the fucking air with a motherfucker sorceress firing bolts of energy isn’t safe either. Batman stabilizes the plane with a grunt and he begins to slow down.

“We are going to fire her back so she stops targeting the plane and give you time to land with less danger. When I said so descend immediately, the trees can serve as a temporary cover. Meet us in the front when we get more ground to block her attacks properly.”

“I am ready.” Batman grunts and Jason grips on the armrest. _Fuck_, he doesn’t want to die in a fucking crash. He shares a look with the demon and the kid is putting on a rough facade but Jason can see the uncertainty in his eyes, so he gives him a wink and Damian growls but seems to distract a little. 

“Now!” Zatanna yells and then she summons purple energy from her hands turning everything white for a moment, _blinding everyone_, then she and Constantine vanish in the air and Batman dives the Batplane at the same moment. The noise of a blast is heard in the distance and Jason can picture the two magicians facing the sorceress in a more fair battle.

“Get ready for the land,” Bruce growls and Jason just prays his lucky stars to not fucking die for a second time. Everything happens too fast to be able to really notice but suddenly they are touching the ground and there’s the unmistakable sound of metal crashing and the sound of the tires sliding, everything shakes for a few seconds and then finally, everything remains still. Well, except for his damn heart.

“Everyone is OK?” Batman asks already on his feet and checking the panels to see if there is damage on the plane and a series of ‘yes’ and ‘fine’ are heard. Jason unbuckles and flexes his muscles feeling the strain already. Tim is also checking the provisional control center evaluating the damage too.

“There’s little damage on the landing gear but nothing prejudicial to the function of the plane. I am going to check the structure to be sure, though.”

“Good, so nothing has changed. Regardless that she knew we were coming, the strategy remains the same. Red Robin and Robin stay here monitoring, keeping ready to receive Dick, and now making sure we can take off. The rest we keep up with our original setting. Understood?” Batman commands and Jason sighs but gives him a stiff nod. Tim had reluctantly agreed to stay and be the eyes and ears of all, Damian hadn’t taken it well at all. He wanted to help and be part of rescuing Goldie, so he almost had a fight to death with Bruce, but the words _‘Dick is going to need you here in what we deal with the sorceress’_ had somehow solved the issue. The fewer people on the battlefield the better (fewer people to worry about, rather) the old man must have thought. Jason puts on his red helmet starting to feel the adrenaline running through his veins. He feels lightheaded though the weight of his weapons and the sword on his back are gratifying, being almost roasted alive wasn’t a good start.

“How the fuck did she knew we were coming anyway?” Jason growls and the silence is the answer he was expecting but is not encouraging.

“Good luck and be careful out there,” Tim says instead with a tiny smile but is genuine. “Bring him home safe and sound.” 

“Yeah, count on it,” Wally says with a smile of his own. Jason nods not sure if he should give them a half-lie assuring that everything is going to be OK, because Jason isn’t that sure either, but he is hoping for the best. Damian crosses his arms with a troubled expression on his face and Jason almost feels sorry for the kid, _almost_. He knows that it is for the best to not risk more lives than necessary, but he also knows the feeling of being left behind when you want to help, _it sucks_. 

“I’m going to go ahead and sweep the area,” Wally informs quickly, and in the same way, he disappears. Jason takes a deep breath and takes off his extra jacket throwing it at Damian, the kid looks at the jacket and then at Jason with a confused stare.

“Keep it warm for me, would you? Is for Goldie,” Jason clarifies. Keeping him busy with something can do some good to his worries. Damian nods oddly compliant and tightness the furry jacket in his hands.

“You better bring him unharmed or I shall kill you myself, Todd.” Damian answers after a second and Jason smirks under the helmet.

“Yeah, been there, done that.” With that, he and Batman walk out of the Batplane towards the frozen forest. It seemed that they hadn’t landed too far from the place, so when Jason glances at the stunning white mansion before them he tries not to open his mouth in shock at the dimensions of the place but is kinda hard considering that the Manor always seemed immeasurable to his eyes.

“This place is like a fortress, the windows are bulletproofed and there isn’t a back door or something. They have good protection, it seems like nobody can break in and vice versa, isn’t seems easy to break out either. And is huge, maybe even more than your place!” Wally speaks through the comms and Jason has to agree.

“No place is completely inaccessible, found your way in.” Batman commands easily and Wally mumbles a ‘yes sir’ and shuts up.

“Fuck.” Is the only reasonable thing to say. He hears the buzz of the comn on his ear and a moment later they hear the voice of Damian. (The little shits are definitely seeing everything from the streaming on his helmet).

“Isn’t as impressive as I thought it would be, but like father says there’s no such thing as an impenetrable fortress.” Jason is about to chuckle at that but a new blast sounds in the distance, the ground shakes making Jason feel a little bit unprotected. Multiple explosions are heard after and Jason pulls out his gun from his holster, _better ready than sorry_. They can see the front of the mansion already on fire and the distant shape of bolts of energy lighting up in contrast with the white of the snow. Batman gives him a contemplative look under the cowl and then he speaks.

“We'll try to give you enough time to find Dick, remember he’s the priority, but don’t be carelessness with yourself either; you can worry about revenge later, understood? She knew we were coming so we don’t know what other enchantments she could have placed against us. Don’t underestimate the person working with her either, and don’t—”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t kill him unless necessary or Goldie is in danger. I get it old man.” Jason growls under the helmet.

“Hmm,” Batman grumbles not all convinced but then the comn buzzes again. _Ok, Showtime._ “Be safe.” Jason tries to ignore the awkwardness and the little tingle of something else on his chest while he runs towards the back of the property hearing Tim mumbling something like ‘that’s his way of saying he cares’ and Jason just blocks him out. He meets with the speedster and he points to a broken glass-door with a pompous smile. _Yeah_, he was a good choice; he and his speedster-thing-of-vibrate-his-molecules-to-burst-the-glass.

“Well, that wasn’t so difficult_, huh?”_ Jason says and Wally nods like a confused puppy.

“I thought that a big shadow or a crazy dude in a hat was going to appear and eat me, but nothing happened.” Jason ignores the tingle of suspicion, there’s no time for that. The two walk in and are met with what it looks like a simple dimly lit room that seems used as storage. 

“We are inside,” he informs regardless of the two intruders watching at everything at the same time as he. He moves towards the door and he peeks outside with his gun ready to blow the brains off of anything that can attack.

“Good, Team A is still facing the sorceress so they are keeping her busy for now. Stay sharp.”

“Roger that,” Jason answers and once out of the room and into a dimly lit hall he looks at the speedster. “We need to split up to move things faster. _Wall-E_, sweep up as much ground as you can because this place seems fucking huge and we don’t have time to search from room to room for Goldie. The moment you find something suspicious let me know.”

“Copy.” Wally disappears from sight in a blur and Jason doesn’t hesitate to move towards the end of the hall even when he feels every instinct in him warning about the dark vibe hovering in the air. When he reaches a new door he can tell there’s something wrong, is like if there was a shadow at the corner of his vision, creeping around edges and trying to pull him back to where he came from. Jason tries not to shudder when the further he goes into the house everything seems to grow darker.

“I think the place has a spell of illusion so don’t believe in everything you see or hear. Trust your gut and if you see a ghost then fucking run,” Jason says looking sideways at his back trying not to think too much about the mist that seemed to appear from nowhere. “Report every 10 minutes.” 

“Shit, ok,” Wally answers lacking his usual eagerness. Jason ventures into the now dark hall thankful for the night vision on his helmet. He grips tighter his gun while he repeats over and over that Dick is much closer than ever and no matter what he founds, _he has to keep going._

_____________

When Dick begins to wake up everything seems blurry even with his eyes closed, so he squeezes them trying to get rid of the nauseous feeling. He tries to recall his last memory but there is a mess on his thoughts, he can’t concentrate on anything besides pain. He feels something cushioned under him and his head is resting _on a pillow?_ Unconsciously he moves a little and a spike of pain in his ankle makes him whimper. _Wh—_

“Hey, relax, you are fine. Go back to sleep.” A voice speaks above him and Dick shivers. He feels so tired that going back that blackness sounds good, but a weird background noise keeps ringing in his ears and he is torn between finding out what is it about or going back to the sweet blackness. The noise sounds like… _fireworks?_ _No_, it sounds like if a wild battle was going on and Dick has no idea what the fuss is about. He whimpers again feeling sick and dizzy, something is wrong but he can’t focus on finding what.

“‘M drugged?” Dick slurred hearing his own voice far-off. He is no longer certain if he is laying on something or floating or on another planet. He feels just _far away. _

“You are ok, it is just a precaution. I can’t let you knock me out or scream for help. I need you quiet, _little angel_. Soon all this will be over.” Dick barely can comprehend the words but somehow he knows that he can’t trust that voice. He whimpers again but he fights the exhaustion and even when his eyelids feel heavy he manages to open his eyes. He stares and stares trying to recognize where he is. _Is it a room?_ _He’s in the manor?_ “Just focus on my voice, Richard. Go back to sleep or I will have to give you a stronger dose.”

“‘s going on?” There are many questions but that sounds like the best question for this confusing situation, yet his tongue feels numb so it doesn’t sound as demanding as he wanted to sound. Dick remembers a distant deep voice telling him what he needed to do in a case like this. “Bruce?” He can’t help to asks because Bruce always knows what to do, right? He needs to push the daze away and get a hold of reality. _First_, he needs to move his toes and fingers and ensure that all his limbs are still attached to him, but his body isn’t responding to his orders and his ankle is throbbing. He tries to move his hands to push the hair that fell on his face with all his shifting but he notices that his hands are tied with something cold, _a chain, maybe? _He knows he can get out of those but his hands aren’t cooperating either.

“I am not _Bruce_ so stop saying that name. Forget about them already, that was a long time ago, now you belong here.” Dick raises his sight from his hands and notices a man looking down at him. His belly twists when he begins to understand more clearly the words. _Oh no. _

“Who are ‘u?” Feeling threatened Dick chooses to sit on the surface where he was laying. His head spins so he leans on the cushioned backrest of the sofa. _Yup, _he is on a sofa_, _so soft and warm. _Oh right_, the man keeps talking so Dick pulls himself out of his mental gap. 

“—are here to take you away from me. I will better be dead to let that happen. I lied Richard,” the man snakes his head crazily and Dick feels his pulse racing. “I lied to her saying that I was going to cut off your wings and put them on my wall like the many others I own. The truth is that I can’t let them have you, _you are mine_. Maeve is jealous and she made the big mistake of helping you to bring them here. I don’t care about the unfolding, if they don’t kill her then I will have to do it myself. But that’s not your concern right now, just go to sleep and then it will be just you and me for all _eternity_.” Dick blinks repeatedly feeling more and more clear when those words begin to sink. _Oh no._ The man keeps talking but Dick blocks his voice and focuses on breathing deeply; he remembers briefly the concentration exercises he learned so many years ago, so he focuses on things he can count, feel and move. After a moment, he feels less lightheaded and clearer, so when he hears the footsteps approaching and feels a hand touching his forehead, he doesn’t think twice and reacts bumping his head against his, he hears a grunt and the man momentarily retreats his hands. Dick grunts too for the sudden movement but he tries to stand and runoff, though he’s still uncoordinated so he falls on his knees with a yelp.

“Shit—” Dick blinks and looks behind his shoulder to the man, _Nathaniel_, (his mind remembers outta nowhere) touching what it looks like his broken nose. After an intense moment where nothing happens, Nathaniel launches at him efficiently pinning him to the ground taking advance of Dick’s drugged state. Feeling less dizzy Dick tries to punch him but Nathaniel grabs his tied hands putting them above his head to restrain him better. Dick grunts when his wings receive the extra weight of the man on top of him.

“What’s with you making everything more troublesome? Do you like punishment? Do you like being treated like this? Submit now, Richard!” Nathaniel hisses and Dick spontaneously spit on his face. It takes a second for the man to clean his face from the spit and the blood but he does with a turbulent look on his eyes. 

“Why don’t you fight me as a man and not when ‘m drugged and hurt, _huh_?”

“Because we can’t afford this waste of time, we need to go!” Nathaniel drags him to his feet and Dick grunts when his ankle is hauled around. Dick tries to squirm away from his grasp but Nathaniel is stronger than him right now, yet that doesn’t stop Dick from trying. He manages to step on Nathaniel’s foot hard before the man has enough and throws a powerful punch to his jaw leaving him momentarily dazed. He feels the man half carrying him towards a door and then he losses temporarily his grip on reality. When slowly he comes to himself, he notices they are in a place he hadn’t seen before. The more he blinks the more he notices it looks like a basement, but it looks too elegant and expensive to look like a normal basement. The tiles are cold on his bare feet and he shivers, _when did he lose his Nike’s? _“Jesus, I have to admit you are stubborn to the point of being annoying. I can see that you are rather tolerant of drugs too, but I am not surprised. Another thing that Batman did to corrupt you.” 

“What are you doing?” Dick whispers feeling a bit more awake than before. Nathaniel doesn’t look at him and he keeps carrying things from one side to other, Dick can’t notice _what_ exactly. He distantly notices that he is sitting on a bench leaning against the wall. Dick looks at his surroundings with a clearer mind and he observes that the place is rather vast; there are a lot of monitors and some containers filling the space.

“Perhaps we should have gotten away long before, _my fault,_” Nathaniel speaks more to himself and Dick returns his eyes back to him but the sound of a big blast distracts him. The noise keeps echoing against the walls and Dick tries to acknowledge the reason for the noise and then he connects the dots; Nathaniel running as if the devil came after him, the sorceress away and probably protecting the mansion. His family is here, they finally found him! He smirks feeling the rush of adrenaline running through his veins. _After all this time—_ “Wipe that smirk off your face. Maeve is going to beat the crap out of them, and then it will be the end of Batman and his minions.” Dick looks at the man and tries to give him his worst glare. 

“If you were so sure of that, you wouldn’t be running like a coward. You know this madness of yours is about to end.” Nathaniel twists his face in an ugly look but he ignores him. He carries a bag putting it inside a freaking airplane parking right there in front of his eyes and he can’t help making a surprised noise. _From where did it come from? _

“You thought the bat was the only one with toys?” Nathaniel smirks now finishing with his brief packaging, he puts something inside his coat, and then he looks at him. “Ok, time to go,” Dick tenses immediately still feeling rather immobilized, the drug had probably a paralytic agent, and even with his high tolerance, this time being already in pain for his ankle didn’t help. “They ruined my home, my party and now they think they can’t take you away from me, but by the time they try to find you, we’ll be far away from here.” Nathaniel approaches him with a new syringe and Dick gets ready to fight back with everything he has. Nathaniel being the bastard that he is, doesn’t hesitate to continue underestimating him for being drugged, hurt, and tied up, but Dick is so much more than the pretty thing that Nathaniel assumed he was from the beginning. _He’s the freaking Nightwing_, so when the man crosses his personal space Dick throws a kick with his good foot at Nathaniel throwing him into his ass, clumsily he releases a hand from the chain while barely ducking a blow a moment after.

_Showtime._

_____________

The walls seem like an endless maze of white and large corridors that don’t lead him anywhere. He feels like he is going in circles because everything looks the fucking same. There are no patterns, there’s not a path to follow and he is beginning to get frustrated. Jason cleans the sweat from his brow taking a moment to take a breath. The mist that started to emerge is thicker now, almost making him feel suffocated. The shadows dancing in his sight are getting bigger to the point that he has to close his eyes and repeat himself that is just an illusion, but there’s a point where reality and illusion mix together making him wonder _what’s real and what’s not_. The voices of the brats through the comms are the only things focusing him, and he is fucking grateful. He reaches a new dead end and he grunts, he can hear the battle going on somewhere in the distance, there are things exploiting and the vibration echoes on the walls. _Fuck_, at least he isn’t the only one dealing with shit unplanned. Jason seems to hear once again a giggle in the mist and he feels chills going down his spine. For a moment he can picture a red bloody grin and hear again the crack of his bones with the crowbar, he shudders at the thought and runs towards the opposite side. He collides with a sculpture making a loud noise so he stops running for a moment, he takes off his gloves feeling his hands sweaty and sticky.

“Fuck,” he mumbles trying to regulate his erratic breathing. He can hear Wally updating his status and how the speedster has already traveled almost 10 times the whole place and hasn’t found anything yet, he is struggling too with shadows following him. Jason is beginning to hyperventilate. The illusions, fear, and frustration loosen his tongue a bit. “What if I’m too late? What if Dick isn’t even fucking here!?” He ends yelling at no one in particular. 

“Jason!”

“What if—” he can’t finish his sentence when the Replacement interrupts him.

“Jason! None of that is real!” Tim speaks loud and clear in his ear. “Is just an illusion, you said it yourself. Dick is somewhere in that place and you need to find him. Time is running out.”

“I can’t find the fucking way… is— is a dead end.” He murmurs and he hears the growl after.

“I am not taking any of that. Stop running like an idiot and start seeing the things as they are, Todd. I assure you there is nothing following you, so focus on your task and stop whining. Return to your previous steps to the main hall and start again.” Damian demands him and Jason nods feeling ashamed for a second, _shit_, ok.

“Fuck you, I am not whining!” He says without his usual heat. Jason closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, once feeling less spooked he turns back from where he came from. He definitely needs to stop seeing what supposedly is there and start seeing in another perspective. He can almost hear Zatanna whispering the same, pointing the way and he doesn’t know if that is real or is his imagination, still, Jason begins to listen and just be guided by what he feels is the _right way_. The mist seems to vanish from his sight giving him a cleared picture. He founds a common area where he hadn’t been before so he begins to examine it feeling a vibe in the air. He notices a tilted painting on the wall; it looks out of place among all the compulsive order around, it catches his attention so he gets closer touching the wall. He notices a mark on the ground as if something had been dragged before so he taps his fingers on the wall and it sounds hollow. “Bingo,” he mutters.

“You find something?” Tim asks after a second and Jason ignores him, he touches the borders of the painting and then he throws it away noticing a handle, he pulls it and the heavy not-wall opens with a squeak. Jason grins.

“Todd! Report!” There’s no time, so Jason ignores him too.

“It was about fucking time! Kid Flash, bring your ass here if you aren’t still hallucinating.” He doesn’t wait for the answer and goes inside finding some long stairs. It takes him several minutes to go downstairs and it feels way too eternal. When he reaches the end he notices he is in what it looks like a basement, immediately he has a hunch. He raises his gun and walks the last steps beginning to hear voices in the distance. He feels his heart on his throat when he hears the sound of a struggle so he runs towards the source and when he can hear more clearly one voice speaking loudly, _he feels the edge of his vision getting green_. 

“—you are never going to be free of me. I’m going to follow you to the end of the world if I have to. It doesn’t matter if they catch me or not, you are never going to escape from me, you heard me, _Angel?_ Never. I will be like another scar on your body, every time you see your wings you will see _me_!” Jason sees the back of a man struggling with Dick, the man is grasping Dick’s shoulders and Dick is trying to pull away. In a moment, Dick raises his sight and locks eyes with him, his whole face beams with wonder and his eyes shine with tears. The man turns around noticing him too and in a second pushes Dick in front of him as a shield.

“Let him go!” He yells feeling all the rage and his entire fury leak from his voice. He points his gun to the man’s head steadily while simultaneously the man grips Dick tighter against his body. Jason tightness his jaw under the helmet. “I said, let him go _now_!!”

“Jay!” Dick yelps and Jason takes a quick moment to check him out. He seems acceptably fine but he looks groggy and all sweaty, his face looks pale making the bruise on his jaw look more prominent, he is also slightly limping and Jason notices a bandage wrapped around his right ankle. A chain is hanging from his left hand. He must have been drugged because otherwise, he would have escaped from that grip in seconds. “Are you really here?” Before Jason can try to reassure him, the man speaks.

“Well, but if it is the Red Hood in the flesh! You do like as threatening as your reputation says,” The man chuckles crazily while dropping a syringe to the floor to clean his bloody nose with the back of his hand. He seems on his thirties, he looks expensive and his posture screams cocky; he doesn’t look like a man that would work with a sorceress. And yet, his eyes tell Jason that he is _insane_. “Take off the helmet, we want to see your face.” The man uses his other hand to grab Dick’s face and then put it on his neck in a light grip, Jason growls but takes off his helmet dropping it to the ground without stop pointing his gun at him. He hears the complaints through the comms so with one touch he turns them off. “Oh shit, you look ready to tear me apart with your teeth, chill out, would you?”

“I am not going to repeat it again, let him go before I fill your fucking face with bullets!” Before he finishes speaking, the man pulls out a pistol from his coat pointing it at him, Dick notices and tries to struggle again but the man tightness the hand on his neck, Jason curses under his breath and instinctively takes a step forward.

“Take a step back or I’ll break something!” The man threatens taking off the hand from Dick’s neck and putting it on where Dick’s right-wing starts, Dick grunts in complain. “Last warning!” Jason takes a step back forcefully but the man keeps his hand there.

“What the fuck you want with him? My patience is running off so you better finish this up now or I’ll shoot!”

“Ohh, but if you shoot me, _Red Hood_, you are only going to make me take Richard with me. So if I were you I would think twice, remember I can pull the trigger too,” Dick tries to squirm but the man tightest his grip. “Besides, the Bat rule is not killing, so if you want to be expelled—”

“I don’t follow anyone rules, so if you think I won’t pull the trigger then you should considerer better your last words.” Jason roars back, the man chuckles but then he puts a somber expression on his face. “So who the fuck are you? The coward hiding behind the sorceress after all this time?”

“I was the man who masterminded everything that happened in the course of your lives, since the moment Richard got his wings and even before that. I was the shadow none of you could see. I know the identities of every person on your clan and I have the power to share it with whatever I want to. So tell me, _Jason Todd_, what are you willing to lose?” The man stabilizes his pistol and Jason does the same, the tension is so thicker that is like smoke in the air. 

“Stop with the bullshit, I don’t give a fuck about that! Let him go so we can finish this once and for all, you _freak_.”

“And who you think you are to come here and threaten me? You are nothing more than a resurrected man with no purpose on this earth! You are cursed and no matter what you do you’ll never be enough. So if you want, shoot me and gladly I will take Richard with me to the other side. If you don’t want that then let us go. Richard is mine and he always will be, it was written in his blood, after all. In this life and the next, he will never be yours! _Only mine!_” Jason lowers his gun slowly and the man grins wickedly at him ready to shoot. 

“Jay—” Dick begins to say and Jason makes him a gesture to stay still. He fights with the green on his sight to not lose his shit and just _wait_.

“Dick doesn’t belong to anyone, _he never will_. You are delusional to think otherwise, _loser_. He is not an angel and you are already fucking dead.” He says as steady as his voice manages to sound just as a lighting blur go past him, in a second Dick vanishes from his grasp and Jason doesn’t think twice before raising his gun and firing to the man still frozen on his place, the gun goes flying from the man’s grasp while he falls on his back. Being controlled by the Pit, Jason launches at the man not giving him any chance to move. He punches him square on the face, over and over until he can only hear the sound of flesh against flesh, _he can’t stop, he doesn’t want to stop._ Knowing this was the person that dictated Dick’s curse, the person who took him away from him for so long makes him want to keep beating the hell out of him. His ears are ringing with the whimpers of the man when a voice above all the buzzing pulls him out of his trance. 

“Jason! Please, stop! Stop!” So he stops with his fits midair. He turns his head enough to glance at Dick, he is perched on the floor with Wally right beside him putting a hand on his back. Jason uses all his willpower to step away from the dying man and he stumbles in his direction. He drops on his knees in front of him touching Dick’s face with his bloody knuckles. “Little Wing, I’m here. Open your eyes, look at me.” Jason barely notices that he had closed his eyes to not see Dick’s face painted in green, so when he opens his eyes and stares at him for several minutes, the green begins to fade. Dick touches his cheek slowly and is all it takes from Jason to be pulled out of his trance.

“Dick…” is all Jason says before crushing him in a hug, he hears Dick grunt but he can’t stop himself. He feels like he could die a second time. He hugs him for a long time; the entire world ceases to exist for one sweet moment, all the noise, the shadows, and the ghosts leave him at once. Dick is here, in his arms and that’s all that matters.

“It took you guys a while to find me,” Dick jokes, Jason chuckles stepping aside for a moment to examine Dick’s face.

“I’m here now Dickie. Are you ok?” It is a stupid question, but Jason needs to know. He touches the bruise on Dick’s jaw and brushes away the sweaty black locks away from his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m in one piece at least. But now I am better,” He smiles and Jason smiles back, he didn’t know how much he needed to see that smile again. He is about to kiss him heartily but he remembers the third party crouching beside him. Dick gives his best friend a warm smile.

“KF, I’m so glad to see you. As you can see I wasn’t sick, I grow wings and that’s why I was avoiding you. Surprise!” Wally shakes his head giving his best friend a light hit on the shoulder.

“I’m just so glad you are ok, man. We’ll talk later about the terms of our friendship,” Jason gives them a moment and then he remembers the fucking mission, he actives his comms again assuring the brats that Dick is all right and there’s no need to yell in his fucking ear when he hears light footsteps behind them.

“Dick!” The three turn around to see Batman approaching like a shadow. He all dusty and the corner of his mouth is bleeding, he looks like he went through a round with a building. In a second, he crouches in front of Dick examining him from toes to head. Wally steps aside and Jason does too grudgingly. Dick hugs Bruce immediately and even if the old man would deny it later, he hugs him back just as strongly. Jason tries not to eavesdrop their rushed words but is kinda impossible with the echo in the fucking place.

“I’m ok B, I promise,” As always Dick is trying to assure his good condition even when Jason can see the sweat still going down his temple.

“Dick, I’m sorry. I should have—”

“No, _hush_. You are here and that’s what matters. You helped me, you know? Your annoying advices helped me a lot in this place,” Dick tries to change subject and Jason sighs, yup, that’s Dick.

“Can you stand?” Dick nods and with the help of Wally and Batman, they drag him to his feet. Dick grunts slightly and after a moment he decides to support all his weight against the speedster. Batman cuts off the chain from his hand and Jason takes a deep breath, _this nightmare is about to end. _

“Is he dead?” Batman gives him a side look and points vaguely to the man on the ground. Jason shakes his head trying not to growl.

“He is not dead, just fucking beaten out. He had a gun! He was going to break Dick’s wing so I had to do something!” Jason hates himself for excusing himself at Batman, but before he can add something else he hears a wet cough behind his back and his body goes on alert. He looks sideways noticing the man gasping for air, but he is grasping in his trembling hand the pistol towards them. Jason curses for not had removed the pistol from the man’s side in the first place, so he raises his own gun too pointing at the man and making the decision in a heartbeat, _he shoots_.

“Jason, no!” Bruce tries to stop him but is late, though. Several things happen at the same time; the moment the man falls lifeless to the ground the entire floor trembles with the sound of a scream so powerful and grieving that it echoes in the basement. The windows of the aircraft parked next to them blow into pieces, Jason covers his face from all the glass flying in all directions. Before he can put two and two together he hears light footsteps to his right, Jason raises his gun but lowers it when Zatanna glances at them with a troubled expression, her hair is a mess and she has an ugly bruise on her cheek. 

“That would explain everything,” she mutters looking sideways at the man on the floor. “KF, you need to take Dick out of here, now! I think the sorceress was anchored to the man, that’s why Constantine could hurt her, but she vanished. We can finish this now, she can’t escape from here,” Zatanna gives Jason a brief look. “But her anchor is dead and clearly she’s not happy about it, even if she is weak,” Before anyone can answer, Constantine appears too, he looks a bit beaten but he has a look of hassle on his face.

“She screamed like a thousand demons and then crawled away. There’s no doubt she will try to kill ya worse than us!” Constantine points at Jason and he rolls his eyes.

“No shit, Sherlock!”

“That won’t happen,” Batman says firmly and Jason glances at him lifting an eyebrow. 

“Wally—” Zatanna stars to say again but the sorceress materializes from nowhere. Everyone gets ready to attack but she stays still for a moment, she is bleeding from her shoulder and a side of her neck. Jason puts himself in front of Dick trying to guess her next move but she just bends down next to the dead man with an inexpressive look on her face. For a moment she does nothing, after a tense moment, she reaches her hand towards the man’s face touching his forehead slowly. The tension is once again almost palpable on the air and unexpectedly, Dick breaks the silence.

“Nathaniel said he didn’t care if you died or not,” he says quietly, the sorceress doesn’t stop her actions touching his cold skin. “He said that he hadn’t forgiven you for what you did,” Dick sounds soft and Jason is a bit stunned that Dick can even be empathetic with this bitch, _after everything she did. _The sorceress raises her sight towards Dick with a poisonous look. “He never cared about you. You were just a means for him to accomplish his twisted plans, he was sick and you know it.”

“Even in the end, he chose you over me,” she says with an icy tone, her eyes momentarily shining green. “He was willing to forgive you, but not me. _You brainwashed him._ If you wouldn’t have caught his attention none of this would have happened and he would be still alive. You are a disease, you are a curse and every person you care about will die,” She says slowly and sharply. “I wish I have killed you the moment I saw you and never had given you those wings. I will avenge him, _Nightwing_. You can count on that.” Zatanna gives Wally a look and the speedster lifts Dick’s arm putting it around his shoulders, Dick tries to complain but Wally vanishes in a blur. Jason tries to ignore the tingle of discomfort from not having him on his side, but he knows he is safe now. He focuses on the sorceress and how she begins to laugh instead, it sounds pathetic and chilling. “You can try to protect him as much as you want, but he won’t escape from me. He is not safe and he never will be.”

“Enough!” Batman growls taking a step towards her. “You will be imprisoned forever in a place where you will never escape and you will be punished for all the innocent lives you took away. Hear carefully what I am going to say; take off the spell from my son and perhaps your residence there won’t be so excruciating.” Jason is pretty sure Bruce hadn’t even asked Dick about it, but he prefers to stay quiet and see what happens. The sorceress grins at him with those horrible sharp teeth.

“Perhaps I underestimated your tenacity to protect your son, perhaps I underestimated these magicians and perhaps this is my _end_. But I guarantee you there are other lives and I will not stop until I make him _suffer_, until I make him pay from what he took from me. I rather spend all eternity in agony than make Nightwing a favor.” She spites at them. Jason pulls out the sword feeling the power on the blade waking up with his rage. Batman gives him a warning look but Jason can’t care less. The sorceress giggles and blood runs down her chin, but she gives him a fierce look. Somehow she looks pitiful. “The Red Hood, are you going to kill me? Take me out of my misery? _Do it, I dare you._” She grins and Jason takes a stride forward, swinging the sword.

“Jason,” Batman growls behind him, but he doesn’t stop him from getting closer to the sorceress. She stops touching the man and gives him her full attention, her green eyes losing the intensity they had.

“You better kill me if you want to save your dear Nightwing; just like you, I have no place on this earth so it won’t matter. _Do it_, take another life. Show me who you really are!” She yells and Jason lifts the sword, ready to go through her with a single movement of his wrist. He locks eyes with her green eyes one last time, wielding the sword in a swift movement. 

_____________

After a long time when all is over, they reach the Batplane in silence. The first thing that Jason lay his eyes on is on Goldie (covered up in blankets, he has a new bandage around his ankle with an ice pack and Wally is keeping his foot still. Between all the blankets, Jason notices the jacket he gave to Damian on his lap, and the demon is attached to him like a koala) He is chatting softly with Wally, while Tim is leaning on his shoulder and holding hands. Jason clears his throat and when Dick lifts his eyes to him, he gives him a beautiful warm smile that melts Jason like an ice cube. 

“It is over?” Dick asks looking from Jason to Bruce with a hopeful look. Bruce nods and Jason walks towards them wanting to lie down among all the blankets, _is been a long day._ “What happened to—?”

“Don’t worry about that, Dickie,” Jason assures looking him right in the eyes, Dick nods loosening his shoulders a bit.

“Where are Zee and John? Are they ok?”

“They are taking over something, but they will meet us at the manor,” Bruce informs quickly. “We will worry about this place later. For now, we're all done here.”

“Are you ready to get the fuck out of here?” Jason asks instead and Dick chuckles.

“Language,” Tim mutters from his position next to Dick.

“Let’s go home,” Bruce touches Dick’s shoulder with a tug of his mouth and gets ready to fly them out of there. “By the way, is it Christmas yet?”

“_Nop_, lucky for you are two days left,” Jason claims a spot beside Dick, Damian tries to push him away but Jason pushes him back. He is too tired to make fun of the koala demon. “Why?”

“I’m inviting everyone to have Christmas at the manor,” Dick declares with a smile, Bruce and Damian grunt at the same time. “Is going to be great, you'll see!” Wally says yes right away, of course. Jason takes Dick’s hand between his with a strong grip inside the blankets. _Yes, he is going to be ok,_ Jason is going to make sure of that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are just one chapter left.  
Next chapter will be about what happened with the sorceress and give the final ending to each character and what happened throughout the plot. The nice happy ending I wanted to make <3  
(I am so sorry for taking this long to update but I have a few difficulties on the way, besides this needed to be done properly so I took my time) 
> 
> As you can see, this chapter is really long. I was going to cut it, but then I thought it wasn't the right thing to do so, sorry not sorry.  
I just want to make clear that EVERYONE had an important role here, everyone had a role that helped at the end. I couldn't focus on the fight between Zatanna, Constantine, and Batman like I wanted to, but know it was a tough fight, believe me.  
Thanks for being here, for all the love, comments, kudos, and bookmarks. This is for you <3
> 
> Title inspired by the song of the same name. Band: The Cab.  
Basically I heard it while writing.


	37. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs a closure.  
To move on, to forget, to heal.  
Dick isn't alone on that journey, he never is.

_“You're in my heart, you're in my soul. _   
_You'll be my breath should I grow old. _   
_You are my lover, you're my best friend. _   
_You're in my soul.” _

Christmas had been… _pleasant._

Jason couldn’t find any excuse to pretend otherwise. He had enjoyed the magnificent dinner cooked by none other than Alfred, the silly traditions, the goofy Christmas songs, and even the company. Nevertheless, if he had his ‘bitchy face’ while coexisting with the family. (His smiles were reserved only for Goldie, obviously) His relationship with the brats wasn’t that bad anymore, they weren’t as insufferable as before. There was a bit of bickering at the dinner, _yes_, but somehow it didn’t end with bloody war. A key point in Christmas success and everyone’s good spirits unquestionably was having Goldie back with them. They were a mess without him, so the change was perceptible even to the blindest person. There wasn't any reason for Jason to be in a bad mood, still with Wally’s endless appetite, Constantine drunkenness, or even Bruce and his inexpressible fucking face all dinner. All those awful months were now in the back of his mind, compacted and ready to be forgotten like many other bad memories. That heavy burden over his shoulders was almost completely cast aside; it didn’t weight like before when he looked at Dick, when he had him at his fingertips, full of life. Jason felt once again like himself, he didn’t have to pretend to be that heartless bastard, not with _him_. Dick had that effect on everyone— without exception, even Constantine that like him was a buzzkill in this season had seemed to have a good time. But like everything, the enjoyable celebration had come to an end and it was time to go back to _reality_.

The morning after Christmas was chilly and quiet. Zatanna and Constantine had retired some hours ago and the only outsider was Wally snoozing in some guest room. He could count himself as an outsider too, but truth to be told sometimes he didn’t feel like that anymore. Jason was with his second cup of coffee while he found himself lost on his thoughts. He had gone to the kitchen for something, but now he was stuck there, watching the court garden through the window. He couldn’t stop thinking about what the sorceress had said. _‘Do it, take another life. Show me who you really are.’_ That question was still a sore spot. _Who he really was? _A resurrected man without any purpose? A crime-fighter? A hero? Sometimes he still struggled with the answer.

He didn’t feel guilty for any decision or life he had taken before, every scum got what they deserved. They had garnered a life of crimes, taking what they wanted without any consequence. _He wasn’t justice, he wasn’t the law_. He did what he thought was fair, what he would have liked someone did for him so many years ago. He didn’t feel guilty, but now he couldn’t stop thinking if this time he had made the right choice. Although _honestly_, it was still too early to have second thoughts, it is only had been a few days since the rescue and all the mess that came after, so maybe he had a point of being uncertain, _right?_

“Jay?” Jason spins in his place so quickly and almost dripping his coffee. He curses under his breath and looks at Dick. Seeing him standing in the middle of the kitchen, for a moment seems like a dream. _But no_, this is real and Dick is there, alive and okay. _Well_, physically he was OK; he had been medicinally examined from toes to head. He didn't have any other injuries besides the obtained from that day, he didn't have any other visible scars or healing wounds on his skin, just some minor bruises. _His other scars must be invisible_. For the most part, he seemed fine; he had just some bangs under his eyes and his skin had lost his usual glow, but he was as beautiful as always, even wearing a big Christmas hoodie (with holes in his back to let the wings out, yeah) with some sweatpants, his black hair in a lovely mess. He glances discreetly at Dick’s blue cast and Jason narrows his eyes at him.

“Are you allowed to be walking with your cast around and without crutches?” Dick wrinkled his nose but keep limping towards him, so Jason comes over putting an arm on Dick’s back to support his weight.

“I can manage just fine to walk with the cast. Besides, if I get tired I can hand walk,” Dick replies and leans on the counter, clinging to Jason in the process. He steals the cup from his fingers and takes a sip, grimacing with the strong black coffee. Jason takes the cup from his hands and hands him a glass of water, the reason why supposedly he was here in the first place, _oops_.

“I’m impressed that the koala demon let you out of his sight, you sneaked out or something?” Jason half-jokes and Dick can’t help but smile a bit. It was the truth that Damian was always lurking around Dick. Jason wanted to be alone with him at least for a freaking moment.

“No, he was sleeping soundly so he didn’t notice when I got out of bed. I wonder what will happen when he notices he is sleeping in the same bed than Tim,” Dick twists his mouth a bit, and then he looks at him more thoughtfully. “What are you doing here brooding?” 

“I’m not brooding, I’m not B,” Jason says tilting his head sideways to glance at Dick’s face. He brushes some black strands away from his eyes while thinking better about his next words. He goes for honesty. “I’m just still thinking about the thing, I guess. My head is full of doubts, you know? I’m still not sure if I make the right choice but I think it is still too early to know.”

“You took a chance, and that takes a lot of courage,” Dick assures him with a sincere look in his blue eyes. “It was the right thing to do, even if it wasn’t what you had planned from the start,” Dick tries to comfort him closing the distance between their faces and kissing the corner of his mouth. Jason is about to dive in his soft lips looking for more contact but Dick puts a finger on his mouth. “Hey, talk to me, Jay. I want to hear your fears, I share some too. Maybe we can share the burden.” 

“You don’t need to carry any more burdens, Dickie,” Jason kisses him anyway, bringing him close to his chest and touching his right-wing unconsciously. He earns a pleased sound so Jason keeps stroking the feathers. “Your fears are completely reasonable, that’s why I can’t take off this weird feeling. What if I made a mistake?”

“No, Jason. I can guarantee that you didn’t make a mistake. It is okay to be a bit uncertain, but you can’t torment yourself with the decision you make. I support it, you know that, right?” Jason sighs and leans his head against Dick’s, nodding softly.

“But you have a damn problem with being way too kindhearted for your own good. Not everybody deserves your compassion, certainly not fucking her,” Jason growls pulling back a little from Dick to look him in the eyes. “It was an impulse, _a hunch_. And is so stupid, I’m not influenced by my hunches very often, but I knew she deserved worse than a simple death or whatever waited for her,”

“Then why are you still having second thoughts, Jay?” Dick leans in his space once again and Jason lifts him slightly from the ground do that Dick isn’t putting much weight on his injured foot. “Are you worried that she can—”

“Yes!” He lowers his voice a little, frowning at himself. “Of course I’m worried. But I think that deep down that’s what I needed to do. Even if I acted against my own code, against my fucking plans,” Dick smiles and Jason frowns at him now. “What?”

“You’re acting like a mother hen, _chill_, everything will be fine, granny,” Dick whispers against his lips and Jason rolls his eyes making an offended noise because he is not acting like a mother hen or a granny, _nop_. So Jason leans down and bites Dick’s lower lip gently, and then he kisses him deeply, with some tongue. Dick reacts immediately and clutches the collar of his t-shirt, bringing their bodies even closer, Jason hums and deepens the kiss. After a few minutes of hot kisses, Jason pulls away with a smirk.

“A granny would make you blush like that?” Jason mocks proudly, appreciating the attractive shade of pink on Dick’s cheeks. Dick makes a noise of protest hitting him on the shoulder.

“Don't flatter yourself, Jay. I have the same effect in you, if not worse.” Dick smirks smugly at him, and then to prove his point he gently licks Jason’s lips with a teasing look, his eyes shining like a thousand stars. Jason feels mesmerized for a long moment, feeling rather tight in his pants. _Fuck._

“You are going to be the death of me,” he whispers fairly short of breath. Dick grins and then that grin turns in full laughter, right there in the middle of the kitchen and with everyone else sleeping. What he said wasn’t even funny and still, Jason can do nothing but join him. 

He is surprised just for a moment, noticing the way Dick can make him forget about _everything_. He is electrical; he has a way to demand his full attention without even asking for it. And maybe he shouldn’t be thinking about that anymore, the affair had been already debated endlessly by everyone, all the pros and cons of the decision Jason had made, and how is that it could or couldn’t come to bite them on the ass later. But for the most part, everyone was ok with the endgame. But leaving alive the sorceress had been a risky and a far-fetched decision, _after all_, he was the one that had declared its intentions from the beginning. His actions had been unexpected for everyone, _even himself. _Jason could still recall thoroughly the instant when he had wielded the sword, but instead of a deadly stab, he had dived the sword into the ground, inches away from her face. Seeing the shock and then the unease on her green eyes had been really satisfying, _though_.

The words she had said were in his thoughts recurrently, the threat that she would hunt Dick even in other lives (if that shit was real) was in the back of his mind. _What if for a moment, she was telling the truth? Dick was going to be endlessly in danger? _He couldn’t allow that. It only had taken a minute of consideration, _killing her wasn’t going to be the end of their problems_, so Jason had made out his mind. Currently, she was in a magical cell in what they decided what was the following curse of actions, Zatanna and Constantine were researching for the best place to prison her eternally. And that was when Zatanna had pointed a breakthrough in their favor, the sorceress (or like Dick had told them her real name was; Maeve) hadn’t yet even tried to escape, she had sat on the floor, motionless and silent, ignoring everyone’s presence. That have been certainly suspicious, but maybe her actions had a motive. Zatanna was certain that her dominions on this earthly plane had come to an end the moment her anchor had died; she no longer had any connection here, trapped with almost no powers and no possibility of returning to wherever the fuck she came from. Her chances of escape were not very likely_, _so with that new information, they had a rather amount of time to have in mind some plans in case something could go wrong when they transferred her. Those little details helped ease Jason’s conscience, maybe after all hearing, that voice of reason telling him that death was maybe too easy had been the right call. Even when the sorceress didn’t deserve to be forgiven; maybe she hadn’t been the root of the problem. It had been that _motherfucker_, and now he was six feet underground.

“You are going to wake up everyone,” Jason mutters after a moment, smacking his hand slightly on Dick’s back when he starts coughing after his sudden fit of laughter. “Not that I care, but I rather seize this tiny moment of privacy before the fucking gremlin has you in his clutches again, that brat doesn’t know how to share,” Dick rolls his eyes about to defend the koala demon but he is quickly distracted when Jason begins to spread little kisses in the conjunction of his jaw and neck, careful with the bruise there.

“So you’re gonna skip breakfast and go straight to dessert?” Dick mumbles and Jason nods leaving a trail of wet kisses heading to his pink lips. He runs his arms through his middle, making Dick lean more on his chest.

“Mm-hm.”

“Someone can walk in and see us,” Dick says but he parts his lips when Jason leans down and captures him in a deeper kiss. He can’t get enough, he’s been waiting for this since he was a fucking hormonal teenager, to hell with everything. _Right now_, he can only focus on keeping kissing Dick. “Lil’ Wing,”

“Shuu,” He whispers between kisses, “Forget about them.” Jason gets a glimpse of something dark going on in Dick’s blue eyes before he intertwines his long fingers behind Jason’s head, bringing together their mouths in a sloppy and wet kiss. _After that_, everything becomes blurry and just _fucking hot_, they make out for a long time, forgetting where they are. Jason is beginning to stick his fingers inside Dick’s hoodie trying to feel more skin when he hears an almost imperceptible sound in the hallway.

“Dick, are you—” A voice speaks behind their backs and Jason stops with the kiss pulling apart slowly, Dick tries to step back but Jason doesn’t take his hands off him knowing that Dick may stumble because he’s still half-shaken with his injured foot and the make-out session. _Instead_, Jason raises his sight to the unwelcome person. Bruce shuts his mouth instantly, his gaze going from him to Dick with a mix between shock and consternation.

“B— hey,” Dick replies rather awkwardly, probably expecting an outburst from Bruce, so he sneaks away from his hold and Jason reluctantly lets him go. Dick clumsy scratches the back of his neck, looking at Bruce with puppy eyes. Jason leans on the counter once again, grabbing his now cold coffee with a cocky look on his face. After the fucking lecture he received from Bruce after killing the man, Jason is fucking pleased to make him lose his temper for kissing his golden child. And after all_, it’s about damn_ time the old man found out about them. “What is it?” Bruce seems to burst out of his momentarily shock looking at Dick almost with an offended expression, Jason tries not to grin. 

“What were you doing?” He demands with a weird expression on his face. He doesn’t seem angry, just dumbfounded.

“I— we…” Dick tries to explain but the words don’t make sense, so Jason speaks first. 

“Having dessert,” he answers plainly and Dick makes a choking-laugh sound. Bruce turns his eyes on him now, raising an eyebrow. Jason finishes his coffee giving him a challenging look. “Something wrong, B?” Bruce locks eyes with him, accepting the duel of looks and giving him his best batglare.

“_Hmm, _I see_._ I just wanted to remind you that Zatanna will have a talk with us later this afternoon, so by then we must be ready.”

“Yeah, ok. _Umm_, it’s about time for the reheated dinner for breakfast, isn’t it?” Dick tries to break the intense duel of looks, but neither Jason nor Bruce are quitting. Dick clears his throat after a moment, “Umm, guys?” Before either of them can answer, Wally shows up in a blur, completely oblivious to the imminent confrontation going on. _What best Christmas gift than making Bruce angry. _

“Hi Rob, I heard something about reheated dinner? I’m starving, man.” Wally beams at his best friend and Dick makes him hand gesture that this isn’t a good moment. 

“Jason,” Bruce practically growls his name, ignoring both the speedster and Dick. But before the old man can add something, Alfred appears in the doorway of the kitchen, as stoic as always but with a slightly humorous look on his face. 

“Master Richard, under no circumstance you should be out of bed and walking with that cast. _Please_, if I can’t persuade you to use crutches, at least don’t stand up any longer than you should,” Alfred chastises at Dick and then makes him lean on him, helping him get to the dining room.

“Alfie, I’m okay—” they heard Dick protesting in the hall. Jason growls and gives Bruce one last warning look, turning around on his heels and ready to fucking have breakfast, but a sound comes from upstairs.

“GRAYSON!” The yell sounds hostile on his own, and then there is the unmistakable sound of things smashing and Tim’s voice yelling. Bruce and he share a look. Bruce just rubs a hand over his face, clearly stressed-out and done with having to deal with them before having his first coffee. _Well, fuck._

_____________

Sometime after the tense breakfast between Bruce and Jason, stopping a fight between Damian and Tim (Dick only had to give them a look and they had finished with their argument, easy as that) and after an emotional good-bye with his best friend Wally and promising each other to keep in touch more regularly, Dick found himself sitting on a bench in the middle of the cave. He had a fluffy blanket around his shoulders covering his wings and warming him even if he was wearing cozy Christmas pajamas; he suspected that the cold was psychological. From time to time he still felt trapped in a dream, and that if opened his eyes he would be once again trapped in the white mansion. Maybe it was post-traumatic stress, maybe seeing the snowy scenery outside brought back bad memories. _It was obvious_, he had been only for a few days back home. Everything was too recent, still too fresh. _He couldn’t close this chapter until the sorceress was locked up for good. _

They were having a brief meeting with Zatanna and Constantine, but he couldn’t pay attention as he should, his mind was wandering towards many things. Dick could feel Jason’s hand giving him a soft back rub, he could feel the brush of Damian’s shoulder with his, and those little gestures where the ones that pulled him out his mind, that centered him back to the present and away from the memories. That’s why Dick needed so much the contact. He needed the physical affect his family was providing him even if they weren't so affective like him. _They could see how much he needed them right now_. He was staring at his blue cast, moving carefully his toes. It didn't hurt, but the memory of how he had obtained the injury was still throbbing him. He hears a voice calling his name and he lifts his sight. Everyone was looking at him, so Dick urges himself to pay attention.

“I’m sorry Zee, what was the question?” He asks innocently, giving her an apologetic look.

“What are your thoughts about the plan so far? You are uncharacteristically quiet,” Zatanna gives him a soft look, knowing herself Dick’s feeling due to the mental link still present. She didn’t have to ask, but not everyone else could read his thoughts and know how he felt.

“You expect him to be serene with that dirtbag still breathing?” Constantine mumbles, he didn’t agree with letting her life. Dick waits for a moment until everyone stops arguing before talking.

“I’m ok with the plan. _Honestly_, it could even do me well, even if it’s just for few days,” Dick can see Bruce stiffening, so he adds. “Besides, I know you two have everything covered. I know she won’t escape, so I’m relaxed,”

“As long as there’s a 1% chance she can escape, ya shouldn’t be so relaxed. Luv, ya believe way too much in people.” Constantine grumbles and Dick just shrugs.

“Someone has to, right?” Dick comments and Constantine snickers, but winks at him after. Jason puffs a breath next to him.

“Ignoring what he says,” Zatanna hits Constantine in the thigh. “This time we really have things in our favor, she won’t escape. That’s a promise I make to you. I just wanted to know your opinion, this is the last thing you need to do. I will take care of everything and in a matter of days, this will be finally over.”

“I know, and I trust you, Zee.”

“Hmm,” Damian begins to say knowing that Dick doesn’t have anything else to add. He glances at his little brother with a tiny smile. “The plan seems sufficiently acceptable. But I maintain the same doubt, why it has to be the useless of Todd who accompanies Grayson to the safe house? He wields the sword, _yes_, but he proved himself worthless for not having killed the sorceress when the opportunity presented itself.” _Oh, Dami_, _not again_.

“Damian…” Bruce scolds him at the same time that Jason growls.

“Listen here, you little shit—” Jason points his finger at him but Zatanna raises her hand, interrupting them.

“We have discussed this before, Damian. The sword chose Jason for a reason. _Perhaps_, we all thought that the sword meant that it was necessary to kill her to finish this, but the new developments show us a better way to end this situation. _Yes_, Jason could have killed her and execute his revenge, but with a thing like her, _pure chaos_, it would have been unpredictable if death would be the end of her,” Zatanna express plainly. “Perhaps she could have returned from another world or another dimension. Would you have liked to be in constant fear of your brother, not knowing if the sorceress could get to him in the future?”

“Tt.” Damian crosses his arms but stays quiet.

“Jason took a chance, but it was the most accurate thing he could have done, _even I had not foreseen it_. Having a sword doesn’t mean that you have to wield it to win all your battles, there are battles that are won with something more,” The room stays in complete silence with her words. “You need strategy and vision to see beyond things, that’s what Jason wisely did. _Remember_, there are fates worse than death.” Dick glances at Jason with a proud smirk and Jason gives him in return a tender look.

“Wow, what a way to shut up the demon,” Tim giggles and Damian growls at him. “I think we all agree that Jason did right and now we can forget about that and just wait for you guys to put her in prison.”

“Yeah, I least I won a kickass sword.” Jason whispers and Dick has to agree.

“Well, crap, ya got me there,” Constantine mumbles running a hand through his blond hair. “The toddler and I still aren’t very convinced, but I think our opinion is worth shit.”

“Indeed,” Zatanna smiles.

“I’m not a toddler, you magician!” Damian growls at Constantine. Bruce sighs not giving his opinion but his shoulders relax significantly. Dick locks eyes with him giving him an encouraging smile, Bruce nods in his direction, a calm expression popping upon his face.

“Thank you both for all you have done so far, I really appreciate your help,” Dick says after a moment, looking at Zee and John with a thankful smile. “I own you a big one,” Zatanna smiles back at him, cherishing his words. The link between them is warm and friendly, a soft presence in his mind.

“Nah, I barely raised a finger. We’re good, pretty boy,” Constantine waves his hand in his direction. He can see Jason rolling his eyes in the corner of his eye. “But I can accept as payment another Christmas dinner, however.”

_Everything was settled_, _then_. As a precaution, in the in-between while they dragged the sorceress to the prison, Dick and Jason were going to be sent to the safe house Zatanna and Bruce had prepared since the beginning. It was secure and unreachable, only Zatanna knew the location. It was just for a few days in what the sorceress was sentenced and declared guilty for her actions in the past year and years before. Maybe that little trip was precisely what Dick needed the most. Share it with Jason had him feeling thrilled and nervous at the same time. It would be the first time they would be _completely _alone, so he didn’t know what to expect. They would be leaving that same afternoon so by then they needed to be ready. By past half-twelve, Dick had done his backpack with some clothes and personal items. Tim and Damian had helped him with the packing and now they were sitting on the wooden floor in Dick’s room catching up with everything. Dick couldn’t be more grateful for these moments, these brief moments that mended his heart for having his little brothers at his side, having their attention and company, their warmth and their presence that he needed so much after so many lonely nights and awful days. _He didn’t need anything else. _Damian was sitting next to him, shoulder to shoulder while they petted Titus, Tim was drawing something in his blue cast while supposedly hearing music with his earbuds (he was pretending to give Damian some privacy to open up with him, but he could see the corner of Tim’s mouth rising up) and Jason was sleeping soundly in his bed.

“Father was an honest mess without you. I don’t how he managed to survive without me or Pennyworth. I was the strong pillar in your absence,” Damian explains with a pompous wave of his hand, but his cute face shows how much he struggled in these months too. Dick leans against him, resting his head on top of Damian’s. For once, Damian doesn’t complain. 

“I’m sure you were, Little D, but you know you don’t have to be strong all the time, right? It is okay if sometimes you aren’t tough, I wasn’t tough all the time either. I was afraid, and I missed you all the time.”

“I missed you too. Quite frankly, I was afraid too of not seeing you again. But I knew that I wasn’t quitting on you, never,” Damian allows a little kiss on his hair, and then he raises his green eyes at him. “Are you certain that you are truly fine now? Are you going to be fine? It's okay not to be fine all the time either. You know that, right Richard?”

“I know and I will be fine, Dami. _I promise_. I just need some time to heal and forget about what happened. I mean, it is not even the worst thing that ever happens to me, it is just…”

“Is a fresh wound, and even if like you said that ‘could have been worse’, it still affects you. Don’t concern yourself with how long it takes to get it over. If talk about it helps, I’m here all the way, Richard,” 

“Thanks, Dami, you’re the best,” Dick smiles at him and then ruffles his hair. “How has that my little brother become so wise?”

“He is pretending, he asked me and Jason for advice,” Tim mutters and Damian gives him a sour look, pointing him with his finger.

“Don’t listen to other people’s conversations, Drake. And that’s a vile lie!” Dick extends his right-wing giving the teenager a soft embrace, Tim smiles at him leaving the sharpie on the floor and patting his leg softly. He already talked with Tim and he gave him a full inform about what had happened in the manor all these months. It had been so good to hear that they had looked out for Jason, which somehow had improved their co-existing with each other significantly. _Dick almost couldn’t believe it. _

“You all did well, I’m so proud of you both. You don’t have to worry about me, as long as I have you, I will be truly okay,” He whispers opening up with them, letting slip for a moment his troubled feelings and not hide them like he used to. “For now on, no more lies or secrets between us. You are my brothers, I should have trusted you and told someone about the sorceress and the threats. This could have been avoided if I had said something. I can’t promise that I won’t put you first before my safety, but I promise to be honest.”

“This wasn’t your fault, _I mean_, the sorceress took advantage of your big heart. She manipulated you, threatened you with your worst fears. I understand why you did what you did. But you don’t have to carry all the weight in your shoulders, brothers look for each other and they share the weight, _together_. I’m just so glad to have you here, this place wasn’t the same without you.” Tim says with watery eyes and Dick pretends to swallow his own tears but fails miserably.

“Once again we are the two of us against the world, right Richard?” Damian smirks at him and Dick returns the smile.

“Us against the world, Dami. _Always_.” If the three of them cuddle together while watching a movie, the secret stays between them.

_____________

After many scowling faces from Damian still reluctant of letting Dick go, and many hesitates looks from Bruce to send the two of them, _alone,_ after the kitchen issue, Zatanna had sent them to the safe house in a sweep. Jason had to blink several times to adjust his eyes to the colorful sight before them, and the instant flow of tranquility he felt had been almost _magical._ There wasn’t snow covering the road or the trees, just green and orange, bright colors, and mild sunlight touching their skin. It seemed like another world, the weather was warm, nothing to do with Gotham chilly weather. _The safe house was freaking cool,_ a picturesque wooden summer house with large windows. Jason stood in the doorway for at least 5 minutes gazing at everything in awe. _Damn_.

“Where you think we are?” Dick asks behind him, still outside the house and staring at the clear sky with a pleased look in his pretty face. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we were inside a fucking magic lamp or something,” Jason mumbles and before he can add something else, Dick had already dropped his backpack in the grass and was limping towards the open countryside beyond. Jason curses dropping his own backpack and following the blue-eyed, putting an arm around Dick to support his weight. “You know, if you had agreed to use crutches, you wouldn’t have to use me as your cane,” Dick rolls his eyes but keeps leading him between the trees and a faint road. After a few minutes, they find a clear path, and the sound of water running reaches their ears. Jason looks amazed at a small lake blending with the trees and the grass, _is beautiful. _The water is clear and they can see the bottom, it doesn’t look very deep, but enough to swim. Jason glances at Dick and he is already out of his grasp and taking off his clothes. _Well_, _if you can’t defeat the enemy then you must join him_. Jason takes off his clothes too. Once they both are stripped down to their boxers, Dick gives him a lopsided smile.

“Maybe I don't have my swimsuit but this is quite similar. How do I look?” The incredible view of the lake is drastically degraded with the sight of Dick standing in front of him; with his wings gleaming with the sun and spread behind his back, his body in plain sight and his blue eyes beaming at him. Jason puffs a breath.

“Fucking gorgeous,” He mutters and Dick smiles shyly at him. Jason brings him closer to the lake and hugs Dick from the back as they begin to submerge slowly, the water is lukewarm. “What a great idea Alfred had when he put you a waterproof cast, _huh_,” He comments putting his head in top of Dick’s. “How convenient,”

“Yeah, almost as he knew we were going to swim,” Dick giggles and once they reach the deepest part, Dick dips his head underwater, Jason does the same swimming around Dick. Once in the surface the blue-eyed waves his wings splashing water everywhere.

“Alfred is just that good,” Jason says and then splashes water at Dick’s face, beginning a water war. Dick plunges his face underwater while laughing and Jason pushes him away trying not to smile.

“You will pay for that.”

They stay swimming for a long time, and then they just lay in the grass, drying off with the sun. _Jason had a long time without feeling so light. _They talk for hours, banal things, and things like ‘What Hogwarts house you think you belong?’ until it gets dark, until they realize how hungry they are. They gather their clothes and Jason carries Dick all the way back to the wooden house. Once there, they finally take a look inside the house; the place wasn’t spacious or luxurious, just a one-story house with one bedroom, one bathroom, a kitchen, and a small living room. Everything was made of wood and gave it a rustic touch, the warmth of the sun had infiltrated the walls making the atmosphere pleasant even if it was night already. Jason folds their clothes and leaves them on the couch, putting just a pair of sweatpants, Dick puts on new boxers and uses a big t-shirt from Jason. They both explore the house, Jason inspects the kitchen finding plenty of food and ingredients to cook in the shelves. The place has everything they need for the few days they are staying, Jason even finds a bunch of books, _fuck yeah_. He cooks something simple and both eat having a small conversation, Dick face-times with Zatanna and the family, telling them how lovely the place is. Jason takes a quick shower and brushes his teeth, looking for Dick and finding him in the bedroom.

“Uh, I even found the same shampoo I use. That’s kinda creepy, how is that Zatanna—” The rest of his words die in his mouth when he lays eyes on Dick, he was next to the window while staring at the dark landscape outside, and Jason couldn’t help but compare the beauty of window to how beautiful Dick looked standing there, an image parallel to that of the afternoon, but now with his wings almost shining in the moonlight. He couldn’t stop thinking that he wouldn’t mind come home every day to find a view like this. _He wouldn’t mind at all._

“I know. I found some stuff that I use and didn’t bring with me. She is just that good,” Dick hadn’t noticed yet the way Jason stood at the door, _speechless_. “But she could have told us that this place was going to be cozy, I even brought my warm clothes just in case!” Dick stares at him with a dramatically frown. “Now what I am supposed to wear?” Jason slips out of his momentary trance and slowly approaches him.

“Well,” Jason smirks at him. “You can keep wearing my clothes,” he whispers next to him and Dick stares at him dazzled. “Or maybe you don’t need to wear anything,” He whispers close to his ear and Dick shivers. He smirks even more. “Have you noticed that there is just one bedroom? And _well_, the bed isn’t made specifically for sleeping.” He insinuates shamelessly, Dick is quiet just for a moment.

“You don’t even ask me to be your boyfriend, and now you want to score second base? Naughty.” Jason freezes and blinks perplexed at him, and now Dick is smirking dirtily at him. Jason bites his lip and doesn’t think twice before taking Dick by the waist and joining their mouths in a hot and desirous kiss. _Soon enough, the weather wasn’t the only hot thing in the room. _

_____________

Every day felt like a new experience, there were no pretending, no acts, no masks, and no helmets to hide anything from each other. It was just him and Dick, no responsibilities, no worries, no guns or escrima sticks. Jason had never felt as _naked_ as now, showing himself with total freedom and without fearing the intimacy like he used to. There were no cautious looks on him, no expectations to fill, and no rules to follow. For the first time, Jason could show Dick his true face without any fear, he could be kind, loving, funny and romantic as he had never allowed himself before. Dick knew him like no one else, he could see through him and recognize that soft man hidden behind so many walls and thorns. Neither of them was surprised by the exponential form in which their bond grow. _Jason was such a sucker for him. _They spoke about everything and if Dick was a bit reluctant with sharing about his captivity, he opened up with him after having a nightmare. Jason knew that that kind of events left scars, and he suspected that Dick would have bad dreams about the sorceress and the filth of Nathaniel for a long time, but he was going to be there in the process, with a tender touch and quiet words to comfort him. _In return_, he had told Dick about how fucking miserable he was without him and how all these months had sucked. They had laughed very loudly, Jason had read out loud for him, they had cooked (mostly Jason, of course), they had slept together, make out like a couple of horny teenagers, they had walked barefoot and shirtless in the grass and with the sun shining above their heads, they had swum in the little lake in the afternoons. The rest of the world didn’t matter when Jason had anything he wanted in a pair of mesmerizing blue eyes and messy black hair.

Today had been their last day, and selfishly, Jason wanted to keep Dick to himself for much more time_._ Jason knew it was time to go back to their lives, this had been a sweet escape, but like everything good, there always was an end. They were eating lasagna as their good-bye dinner; Jason had worked hard to cook it to cheer Dick up, he had been oddly quiet after his usual video-chat with Zatanna. Jason pats Dick’s thigh on his lap, breaking the silence smoothly.

“Hey, something new came out or something?” Dick puts aside his empty dish with a thoughtful expression. Jason cleans his hand in a dishcloth chewing the last of his magnificent lasagna, waiting for Dick to answer. When he doesn’t, Jason adds. “Everything okay, Dickie?” Instead of answering his question, Dick changes the subject drastically.

“Do you remember what I told you about how I managed to reach for you when I was there, when I flew to that window? That the feeling was almost _magical_?” Jason nods recalling that conversation. “That day I felt something I had never felt, as if I belonged up there, you know? I still can’t stop thinking about it. And well, Zatanna told me today that when they were putting the sorceress into the prison, for a brief moment, they could have forced her to undo the spell. I already knew that because I felt Zatanna asking me about it a few days ago. But today she asked me again, she needed to hear me say if I wanted to keep the wings.”

“And?” Jason urges him to continue, the suspense feels dense over their heads. Dick stares at him for a whole minute and then he smiles softly, folding his wings behind his back. 

“And I said that I wanted to keep the wings. _They_… _they are who I am now_. Not a pretty bird, nor an angel.” He spites the words with a look of determination. “I am just the same Dick Grayson but with wings and that’s how I want to stay. Neither she nor he will determine my future and my life. I choose to keep them because I know I can still make a difference,” Jason smiles proudly at him. “I choose to keep them because even if I didn’t want them from the start, now I can see that maybe even with all the good and the bad that happened, they came to me for a reason. I’m still Nightwing, and maybe is time to show the world who I really I’m.”

“I’ll be by your side, as long as you want me to.” Jason confesses, hoping that ‘_as long as you want me_’ be a long time.

“All the way and more, Little Wing.”

_____________

To be honest, it had been a lot harder to leave the beautiful wooden house than Dick had expected. There he had found a comfort zone, the stability he hadn’t felt in a long time. There he didn’t have to fake anything; he could drop his mask and be just Dick Grayson, not the perfect son, not the perfect hero, not the perfect team leader or perfect big brother. He could be _just him_, a man with many flaws and weaknesses. Jason saw him as he really was, not the golden child, but a real man with cracks and leaks. That’s why they had worked so well together, they completed each other. They had found an authentic connection that had bloomed like a flower in spring. The days had felt blissful, like a daydream. Dick got to know that version of Jason that reaffirmed the incredible man he became, the man who would give everything for his well-being, who put him first above all things. The days spend there had helped to accept the fact that Jason had killed Nathaniel, even if he still was still a bit confronted. Nathaniel could have been sent to jail to pay for his crimes and the horrible things he committed because of his sickness and obsession, but for other part knowing that Nathaniel couldn’t hurt anyone else ever again, including him, _was soothing. _Dick felt okay, he honestly did. Sometimes the words Nathaniel last had said to him still lingered in his mind, hunting him and making him want to hide and stay under a rock for a while, but at the same time he knew he wasn’t alone, he didn’t have to face this alone. _His family was always there_, with a comforting smile or a little touch, with a pat on the shoulder or a cup of warm tea, with a kiss or a hug. He wasn’t alone. _Yes_, he did have a long journey to overcome everything that happened, but the weight on his shoulders was no longer there, the fear of shadows and whispers no longer scared him anymore. Little by little, the memories of that white room, of that evil laugh and those hazel eyes, vanished deep in the back of his memory, away from his mind and it only appeared from time to time in his nightmares.

Something like a month had passed, and he finally was talking with Bruce just the two of them. Between moving back to Blüdhaven, between returning as Nightwing and having a relationship no more and no less than with the Red Hood, there hadn’t been time to speak to his father-figure properly. Bruce had called him saying that there was something they needed to discuss, so Dick was back at the manor, drinking his tea and hearing Bruce explain how it went the search in the mansion and what he had found. Dick listened attentively while his mentor changed his expression from affronted to enraged when he reached the subject of all the wings framed in the wall of that mansion, _yeah_, he knew that feeling of impotency when seeing the degree of illness that Nathaniel had had. Dick waited patiently in his seat, playing with a feather between his fingers.

“We confiscated all the evidence about magic, and with Zatanna’s help, we might be able to identify some of the other victims to at least know a little more about them. That won’t bring them back, but we can give their families some answers if the case comes up. But we really don’t know much about how many years they’ve been kidnapping young men, so it might be more difficult, but not impossible.”

“Yeah, that would be really good. Maybe their families can truly know what happened now,” Dick mumbles feeling a lump in his throat.

“I also managed to gather information about the guests of the ‘party’. They’re all being investigated; we’ll have them targeted in case they’re in any way involved. You don’t have to worry about nothing of that anymore, until all of this it’s over, it’ll be my problem, not yours.” Bruce speaks firmly, and Dick can’t do more than nod at him, thankful.

“Thank you B, you’ve really done a good job of putting an end to this,” Bruce stares at him for a long moment, analyzing him carefully. Bruce had sounded a little more doubtful when Dick told him about the decision to keep the wings, and in a while, show them to the world being Nightwing. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Bruce asks giving him all his attention. “I mean, are you sure that in the future, you’ll be happy with the decision you made today?”

“I can’t tell if in the future I will be content with the decisions I made, but I can assure you _right now_, I’m happy, B,” Dick finally smiles at Bruce, trying to reassure him that everything is really okay. “I’m still me, the wings will not be an impediment to move on with my life and be who I am.” Bruce nods and gives him a little tug up from his mouth, a hidden smile.

“If that’s what you want then I can’t do more than support you. Needless to say that I will always be here if you need me, chum,” Dick smiles at the nickname, for a moment feeling like 9 years-old again. “Is time to give this a proper closure. There’s no need to keep focusing on the past, but I have something that you might want to check out, only if you are ready to make peace with the past.” Bruce adds picking up a black folder and bringing it closer to him. Dick takes it slowly and as he flips the first page he feels a chill running down his back. He glances at Bruce with a puzzled look. 

“What’s this?”

“I managed to find information about him. It was not easy, but I managed to collect the most important data to create a folder with his profile. You can choose to give it a look to know his background history, or you can throw it away and leave it in the past forever. It is your choice.”

“I— I don’t know,” Dick stares at the black folder in his hands, wavering for a moment. “I mean… I do have some curiosity. A part of me wants to understand why he did what he did, but another part of me—” Dick takes a deep breath, and after a moment more of consideration, he opens the folder. Bruce looks proudly at him. 

The photograph of Nathaniel disturbs him, but is no more than a ghost from his past now. Dick reads carefully everything. _Nathaniel Iordanou Giorgaina_ was born in Greece, son of a magnate and very powerful man in the attorney business. He showed an obsessive-compulsive disorder that he never treated. His whole life was handed to him on a silver platter, or so it seemed. At the age of 14 he was in a serious car accident leaving him in a coma for a week, his prognosis not favorable. But almost overnight, Nathaniel had recovered completely surprising the doctors. Everyone saw it as a miracle, and when the child assured that an angel with blue eyes had saved him from death, _no one had believed him._ His family had thought he was crazy, they mocked him and humiliated him for years. His obsession with divinity and angels transformed him into a completely different person. He abandoned his house and made his own fortune, leading him to commit all the atrocities he did throughout his life, leading him to put his radar _on him_. His story with the sorceress was unclear, there was no information about how they met. But Dick didn’t need to know, it didn’t matter anymore. _Now_, knowing a little more about Nathaniel’s history and what had led him to commit so many horrible things made some sense. But they weren’t justified, even if it wasn’t his fault. Maybe he was crazy, but the fact that everything could have been prevented if his family had only listened to him, taken him to a psychologist or tried to understand him, was kinda sad. _He felt pity for him_. Dick closes the folder and puts it on the table, gathering his thoughts for a moment before lifting his sight to Bruce.

“Is sad, you know? But now that I know all the facts, maybe I can say I don’t hate him, I even feel sorry for him. He was sick, and if someone had helped him maybe none of this would happened. Maybe now I can make peace with everything, there’s no point being resentful with a person who’s already dead, and hopefully paying for his crimes.”

“That is very brave, Dick. Sometimes your compassion still surprises me, your ability to forgive and let go is something that keeps giving me a lesson to learn. _I’m… proud of you, son_. I know I should say it more often, but rest assured I’m working on it.”

“_What?_ I didn’t hear you, can you repeat the last?” Dick jokes with a big smile and Bruce makes a funny gesture. “That statement goes for my personal use of blackmail material against you. Batman admitting he has to learn from me, _wow_, I didn’t know I had to be kidnapped by a couple of crazies to get you to tell me that you’re proud.”

“Don’t ruin it,” Bruce lifts a finger in his direction with a playful look in his face. “I’m not going to repeat it,” He mumbles and Dick can’t help but laugh. “Having put an end to the whole thing… I wanted to ask you about Jason, I have heard some rumors.” He says clearing his throat. Dick grunts making a gesture with his hands, _oh no_.

“Bruce! I didn’t come here to be questioned about my love life, please don’t make this awkward!” Bruce lifts an eyebrow taking a sip from his almost forgotten tea before talking again. 

“Love life?” Bruce doesn’t hide the surprise in his tone. “So now it’s official?” Dick nods firmly. “_Hmm_, I see.”

“Honestly it’s something that’s been growing for a long time, and it really wasn’t rushed at all. And besides, everyone knew it even before us so it was nothing new.”

“By who you mean, ‘everyone knew’?” Bruce frowns and Dick can’t help but giggle. _Yeah, sometimes Bruce doesn’t know anything at all._

“Alfred, of course, Tim, and even Damian,” Dick enjoys the way Bruce’s face contracts in surprise once again. “Maybe even my friends commented about it in the past, but at that time I hadn’t give it a real thought,” Bruce stays quiet for a moment and Dick has to break it with a serious tone. “B, look, I know you are still struggling with my relationship with Jason, and clearly with the fact that Jason killed Nathaniel in front of your nose. There’s no turning back from what happened, you can’t keep being upset with Jason forever, even if I’m still a little confronted about what happened. But, don’t think it’s time to make peace with your past too?” Bruce doesn’t answer for a long time, so Dick waits patiently. Bruce lets out a tired sight and leans on his seat.

“_I will try_. I can’t guarantee that I will let this go, but I promise you that I’m really going to try. Jason and I have so much to work out, fixing our relationship won’t be easy, but I dare say that he and I are willing to give it a try. It’ll never be the same, but I want to stop being on bad terms with him, _after all_, I just want the best for him, and certainly, I want the best for you too. If you guys manage to find that between you two, then I don’t have to meddle in your decisions, as long as you are happy, then I am.”

“Thanks, B, it means a lot for me,” Dick can recognize when Bruce gives his approval, although not entirely expressed but if insinuated. “I’m really happy, so don’t worry about that,” Bruce nods and gives him a soft look. Dick can read between the lines, he can read the expression on his father, so Dick lifts his own forgotten cup. “Yeah, I love you too dad.” 

“Well, if I recall correctly we have an appointment to pick up those burgers from the damn store and then a movie marathon. So, _shall we go?_”

“It not an appointment, _B_, is called drive-thru! But yes, _let's go_.”

_____________

If some time ago someone had told Jason that things would have ended this way, he never would have believed it. On a good day, he still found it hard to fucking believe. _But here he was_, Jason Todd in a relationship with no less than Dick Grayson, the original boy wonder, the cherished hero in black and blue and the loved man with dazzling blue eyes and a heart of gold. The news had spread quickly and now all the hero community and the general public knew about their relationship (Jason had received multiple threats, not only from the family but from fucking everyone that if he hurt Dick he was going to suffer, _ha_, _as if_). They had a tight schedule between Dick being Nightwing and protecting Blüdhaven every night and Jason being Red Hood and residing in Gotham, but somehow they managed to end up in the same bed every night. After suggesting it and discussing it for a while, they didn’t take long before sharing an apartment halfway between their cities. 

Jason realized how easily they got used to sharing a roof, despite the _many _differences between them. They had an arrangement and they divided household chores equally. (Dick was a mess and Jason basically ended up doing more work, _yeah_) They had their good and bad days, sometimes they’d fought and bring out the worst from each other, but Jason always tried to be more understanding and Dick tried not to take things so personally. _And well_, the make-up sex was pretty hot. Jason was more committed to the family, getting to the point of going out with Tim or Damian without having to wear the suit. He had even made a truce with Bruce, although their relationship was never the best, at least they had a civilized arrangement, they could talk face-to-face and very occasionally, give each other info when they were in the same case. Jason finally felt more at peace with the bat, even if he still couldn’t admit it. _Things were okay._ Yeah, sometimes he still struggled with issues from the past and his own demons, Dick still had nightmares about the sorceress or Nathaniel, but that was easily forgotten and neither of them let it get to them. The sorceress wasn’t a topic in their conversations anymore, she was safely trapped forever. They both had let that in the past now. 

After a couple of months of adapting to living together and being vigilantes at the same time, Dick finally had spread free his wings, _literally_. It had been shocking to everyone, but in a matter of time, Dick had them eating from his hand, commenting about how beautiful the gold and white feathers were. The rumors spread about if Nightwing was a Meta, if he had been submerged in a toxic waste bath or was an experiment in mutations. Dick took it lightly and even had fun with the rumors but he never shared with anyone who wasn’t close the real reason for his wings, though. Jason loved to come home every night to find Dick laying on _their bed_, wings spread on the mattress and being greeted with a welcome kiss; if that wasn’t heaven, then Jason didn’t know what else could beat that. They kicked ass together, slept on the same roof, and shared most of their time together, but it was never a possessive love. They decided to share their lives but they didn’t own each other, they had freedom and independence. That had been the key to everything, the success in their relationship. Dick was a free soul and Jason hated being told what to do, so they tried to maintain a healthy and above all, _honest relationship._ Jason knew he couldn’t love anyone but Dick, there was no one else for him. _Since he was fifteen,_ _he knew_. 

“Hood, you are done for the night?” He hears through the comn being abruptly pulled out from his thoughts. He tries to sound nice.

“Yeah, Replacement. What do you want?” _Yes, that was him being nice_. Tim ignores his tone.

“Just wanted to check-in. Is big-wing patrolling yet?”

“Yeah, he is almost done.” _Yup_, everyone was always taking tabs on Dickiebird.

“Good, oh, _I almost forgot_. Remember that it’s coming up the weekend when the demon spawn stays at your place.”

“Fuck, is already so soon? The brat always makes me sleep on the couch! Who the fuck he thinks he is?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t surprise me. That’s something Damian would do. _Well_, that’s all, see you around Hood.” Tim mutters.

“Night, Timbo.” Not even a minute later and he can hear the unmistakable soft flutter of wings behind his back. He smiles to himself pretending not to notice his presence.

“Oh, but look who I found,” Dick says lovingly “Is the big bad Red Hood, who by the way, owes me dinner.” Jason looks sideways at the figure approaching. He smirks when Nightwing leans behind him, wrapping his arms around him. “How was your night?”

“I always cook, _genius_. And it was fucking tiresome, but I kicked some guys’ asses so it was worth it. What about you, babe?” _Yeah, pet names._ _Jason was a fucking sap_. “Did you kick some asses? Or did you charm some thug?”

“It was a productive night and _Nah_, I’m already taken, didn’t you know?”

“The guy must be the luckiest bastard in the whole world,” Jason chuckles when Dick bumps his head against his helmet.

“I think the luckiest must be me. _Anyway_, you are going to sit there or you want to go home?”

“Fuck yeah, let’s go home,” Dick leans and kisses his helmet, Jason rolls his eyes. “You better kiss me properly at home, _huh_.”

“If you want that, you better catch me,” Dick grins and Jason reaches for him but not quickly enough, Dick stands in the edge of the building, spreading his wings and giving him a thousand-watt smile. “The last one home washes the dishes!”

“Hey! That’s not fair, babe. I can’t fucking fly!” But it is late, Nightwing is already jumping from the edge flapping his wings and vanishing between the buildings. Jason stares at his silhouette disappearing, whistling to himself. He pulls out his grappling hook with a smirk.

Who could have predicted that all this was going to happen, afterward an unwanted spell? _Certainly, not Jason. _

_“I took all those habits of yours,_   
_That in the beginning were hard to accept. _

_And there have been many affairs_   
_Many times I've thought to leave_   
_But I bite my lip and turn around_   
_'Cause you're the warmest thing I've ever found._

_You are my lover, you're my best friend,  
You're in my soul.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I have no words to thank you all for joining me on this journey. I started this story just for fun and well, here we are. This story wasn't planned at all, I just keep writing and letting my fingers do their magic, so if the plot had his holes, oops.  
This story has plenty of mistakes that I will correct eventually, thank you for kind words even still. This story helped me a lot with my writing, so I'm thankful for it and for all the amazing people who read it all. All your comments lifted my spirits so much.  
I will keep posting more stories about the Batfamily and of course JayDick.  
Maybe even I can post something extra about this story in the future if you like.  
Song: You're In My Heart - Rod Stewart. 
> 
> You can find me in my Tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nightwingmar) and asks for prompts or something. Thanks for the deep of my heart for reading this story <3 It was a pleasure to write it. See you soon <3


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